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Julian's Blog: 2008

JulianBabe — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 16:51:14 CDT

September 2, 2008

One Of These Mornings

One of these mornings
One of these mornings
It won't be very long
They will look for me
and I'll be gone

One of these mornings
It won't be very long
They will look for me
and I'll be gone

One of these mornings
It won't be very long
They will look for me
and I'll be gone

One of these mornings
It won't be very long
They will look for me
and I'll be gone
I'll be gone
and I'll be gone
I'll be gone
and I'll be gone
I'll be gone
and I'll be gone
I'll be gone
and I'll be gone

One of these mornings
It won't be very long
They will look for me
and I'll be gone

One of these mornings
It won't be very long
They will look for me
and I'll be gone
I'll be gone
and I'll be gone
I'll be gone
and I'll be gone
I'll be gone
and I'll be gone
I'll be gone
and I'll be gone

I'll be gone
and I'll be gone
I'll be gone
and I'll be gone

--Moby (feat. Patti LaBelle) (2005)
(There was a slightly shorter different version of this song that came out in 2002 though.)

September 2, 2008

I Suppose Someday Someone Will Wonder...

...whatever happened to me.
And I guess this is my goodbye note. The only one I will leave anywhere. (I wrote most of this in late July. But worked on this from late July to late August.)
I can tell you some things about my life to help you understand. (I hope you'll forgive me if I sound bitter or pissed off or just too negative at some points. Like anyone, I get upset sometimes and may express something more strongly than I intended.)
My family was always very small. And generally not very fond of one another. Everyone I know of in my family has had problems with depression. No one in my family has been very social. They've all had just a few or no friends at all. Some have had other minor to serious mental ailments as well. Basically, I'm genetically mentally screwed from the start.
My mother married my father to get out of the house, away from her mother (who had several mental problems). My parents divorced when I was 9. I didn't love them after that. Not because of the divorce. I understood they argued and fought and couldn't get along anymore. It's just...my mother, who I stayed with 'cause she got the house, was always moody. Especially after the divorce! After the divorce, she was usually negative, usually irritable. She talked down to me. A lot! More and more. So much that I developed a major depression. (I cut my wrists a couple of times. Wasn't intending to commit suicide. Just wanted to see if it were possible, how deep I could go. I got down to the veins. They looked black. I got deep enough that I thought I could do it if I really wanted.) She finally sent me to therapy which helped me out a lot. I also couldn't trust her with anything. Anything I told her that was supposed to be just between us she'd go around telling everybody. So, at some early point, maybe 10 or 11, maybe my early teens, I decided I wasn't going to tell her stuff anymore. I basically wasn't going to talk to her anymore. Through my teens we didn't get along. I didn't talk to her. She didn't understand me at all. She frequently made comments about how when I turned 18 she just wanted me gone. She hardly ever bought me stuff all through my childhood. (For example, we had a black and white TV, no cable and no VCR 'til my late teens. No TV games. No computer. In my early teens, she finally gave me a weekly allowance. 5 dollars a week. In my late teens it got up to $8. And that was for weekly chores. Stuff like taking out the trash, washing the dishes, mowing the lawn with a push mower, sweeping the backyard, helping with gardening. I'm sure there was more. I don't remember all of it.) After I was 17 or 18, there wasn't any more weekly allowance But she said as long as I was living in her house, I was expected to keep up my chores. She spent lots of money on herself though! (She wasn't poor. I sure was though.) Our relationship now is...she writes a couple times a year. The only reason I stayed in contact with her at all is because she sends me money twice a year, on my birthday and at Christmas. (Usually $100.) I think she knows that's the only reason I still write to her at all. I won't talk to her on the phone. (I don't want to hear her voice again. I don't want all those bad things she used to say to me coming back in my head.) I haven't seen her since 1996 when I left for Denmark. And I don't think I ever want to see her again.
My father died in the early 90's. 1992, I believe it was. Cancer. I didn't care. We weren't close. My decision. To me he was just some old man I felt I had nothing in common with. He was around 20 years older than my mother. After the divorce he had changed quite a lot. Always depressed. Rarely smiled or laughed anymore. No fun to be around. He tried. He did his best. I know that. I didn't get the feeling he really loved me though. I was his son, that's all, but I didn't feel he loved me in particular.
I have a brother I haven't talked to since 1994 or so. I wrote him a few times in the early 90's, but he never answered. When I saw him and asked about it, he just said he didn't like writing. Mostly we got along fine. But there were a few years, the early years, that I hated him and I guess I was the big mean older brother. I think I prob'ly did some stuff he never forgave me for and that's why we don't talk anymore. I don't even have his address or phone number. He's married now. Been married for several years. Lives on the east coast in U.S.A. No kids that I know of. He's 9 years younger than I am but from the last picture I saw of him, his wedding picture that my mother sent me, he looks at least 9 years older than me. Ha ha ha.:P
And that's it, my whole family. Like I said, it's always been small. Just a mother and brother left besides me. Almost all died out now.
I was a virgin 'til I was 23 years old. That alone is enough to make anyone wanna kill themselves. Ha ha. In June I turned 42 years old. I was born June 7, 1966. I was married once. To a girl in Denmark. I still live in the same small town here. In the very beginning, we thought it was love but...I guess we were both lonely and just hoping so much we finally found it. She married me only as a friend, as a favor, so I could stay in the country. We got married in plain clothes, in a big city building. The only people there were her, me, a priest and just a city employee as a witness. We didn't exchange rings (apparently, you can do that in Denmark although I've never heard of it being done here or anywhere else). We never wore rings. And the only person she told during the first few months was her mother. We broke up a few months after I got my permanent permission to stay in the country. (In Denmark, you have to reapply and reapply and reapply, for years, to stay in the country until they finally give you permission. Marriage itself is no guarantee, only a help. There are stories in the news all the time here about married couples, with children even, who can't stay together in Denmark and have to leave if they want to be together. The rules are extreme here and have only gotten more extreme since I've been here. When I first came, it took at least 3 years to get permanent permission to stay. Now it takes more years. I don't know exactly how many anymore. And like I said, marriage is only helpful but no kind of guarantee at all. It depends more on what country you come from and what financial support you have. Denmark is one of the most difficult countries in the world to get permission to stay in. And even lots of potential turists simply don't come because it's so much trouble and takes so much time, usually months, just to get permission to visit the country. I think how much trouble you have getting in depends on what country you come from though.) I never told my mother I got married 'til after the divorce. It wasn't a real marriage. It was just to get a piece of paper. I didn't see any point in telling her. But, after the decision to break up, my mother was asking questions about our relationship and how I could stay in the country, that kind of stuff.
I have problems with anxiety, more specifically social anxiety. It's bad. Like almost worst case scenario. Mostly, I like being alone. I've had friends before. I don't feel the need for friends. I'm not against it, I'm just not looking for friends. I just want a girlfriend. Children too. That'd be plenty for me. The years in my life I've actually had a girlfriend to be with is only somewhere between 5 years at the least, and 8 years at the most Out of my whole life!!! Most of my junior high and high school days I didn't have any friends. And never a girlfriend. I would've had the courage to ask a girl out but...I didn't have a car or any money. I spent most of my pauses drawing or writing. Sometimes reading. I've had some college. Never finished though. Art and English teachers were always very very impressed with my work. My anxiety problems have gotten worse as I've gotten older. In junior high I started ditching classes. In college I ditched the most. Still pretty much always got A's in English and Art though. Those were also the classes I ditched the least. I've had this phobia thing all my life, as far back as I can remember. But only 4-5 years ago I finally figured out what was wrong with me, that it actually had a name and a lot of other people have it too. Before that I didn't even know how to explain it to anyone. I didn't think anyone would understand. I started drinking 5-6 years ago because I found out it helped me feel more comfortable around people. It started very slowly, only on rare occasions, and built up little by little 'til now...where I don't go outside anymore without having had at least 5 shots of vodka and a Valium (that'd be what I'd take, for example, before work). Preferably and normally I drink half a bottle of vodka and take 2 Valiums before I go out. Sometimes more. Some days I drink a bottle of vodka and take several Valiums. I've built up a tolerance to vodka so it doesn't do much alone anymore. I take Valium now too the last couple months or more, between 2-4 (usually) up to five or six 10mg pills a day. The Valium on it's own doesn't really do anything for me either but with vodka...it works.:) The last couple of places I've worked, I drank every day at work. I never used to drink at home alone. I mean...maybe a couple times a year. Now, for the last several weeks, I do everyday. Almost. (Have to have it around to drink it.;) All of August I drank everyday anyway.
The times I've had a girlfriend, I like to and want to go out more but...now, living alone and without even a car, with no friends, I only go out if I have to.
I've avoided work at least half or maybe even most of my adult life because of my social phobia. I've had more jobs than I can remember though. I almost always quit 'cause I couldn't handle the social stuff anymore. (I've also quit a few jobs because it was sweaty heavy lifting minimum wage kind of work. I hate that sh*t!!! And I'm not gonna ruin my back over some silly a** job!)
Like I said, I've had some college and I didn't finish. Now, this gets into some of why I left U.S.A. My original plan was to get into graphic arts. Probably advertising, later I was thinking maybe ad text writing if possible. About 2/3 through my education, I started having real doubts all that school work for a piece of paper that showed I graduated would get me a job. So, I started seriously looking at job opportunities for that field and what employers want and expect. First of all, they don't hire people fresh out of college!! Plus they demand lots of computer skills and experience. The small college I went to couldn't afford lots of computers and weren't teaching us anything about the computer programs we would need to know how to use to get work. Later on, I found out most of the time, for any job, you can lie about having been to college (they don't check) because all employers want to know is how many years of actual professional job experience you have. And the minimum for the field I wanted to get into at the time was at least 5-10 years actual job experience. They, of course, expected lots of professional samples to look at and they expected professional references. I didn't see the point anymore about getting that piece of paper that says I graduated college. In fact, I found out getting any kind of work is difficult. When I finally looked for my first job, I had my sights set fairly high. After months and months of looking, my expectations got lower and lower. At least half, probably more, places offering work around L.A. had 100-200 people a day coming in to fill out applications. That was for the no experience required minimum wage or near minimum wage kind of stuff. I've occasionally seen lines stretching blocks long. I found out in the real world, the people that get the good jobs are the best liars and bullshitters that come in. Seriously! I've talked to several people who had decent jobs and asked how they got that job. They all told me they totally lied their asses off about all kinds of crazy sh*t. That's how they got the job!! Of course, the best way is if a family member or friend can get you in somewhere. I didn't know anybody who could get me in anywhere. And my first job...was as a part-time cook in a small sandwich shop at minimum wage.
I've been on welfare many many years of my adult life. I've been on welfare the last 5 years straight. In Denmark it's not so bad! The system is totally different here. With the extra benefits I get, it pays about the same as minimum wage here which is what I'd be getting if I was working anyway. I get over $1800 a month and that's after taxes! (Which is the most money I've ever gotten in my life!!! The least was the years in U.S.A. I was on welfare, which at the time paid about $150 in cash and $150 in food stamps. Per month! That's it. That was around late 1980's, early 1990's. I did a lot of shoplifting back then. Been kicked out of a few stores. I was in jail a couple times for stealing stuff. No matter how good you think you are at it, at some point you get too relaxed and sloppy. No matter how much you get away with, if you keep doing it you WILL get caught. I know that from experience.) I don't know exactly but minimum wage in Denmark before taxes is somewhere around $19 an hour. And the normal work week is 37 hours a week. Taxes in Denmark is about 40%. (But something like the first $500 per month you earn is tax free.) Plus there is a tax of 25% on everything you buy. Always already included in the price, so the price you see is the price you pay. And Denmark has the highest food prices in the world. And only the last year or two, Sweden edged over Denmark in taxes. The taxes here pay for some good things though, like...free medical care, everyone has their own doctor, no free dental though (dammit!!), free education. Even higher education is free. And Denmark has a great welfare system!
I've been on welfare the last 5 years straight. If I really wanted a regular job, the government here can find me one easily enough but...I don't want a real job. I don't want to work. Not only because of my social phobia but it also means a lot more hours and responsibility for the same money I already get! (I might maybe be able to get $50-$100 more a month from working but that's it.) I get sent different places to work. For weeks or months at a time. The hours and days vary. Generally, the rule is 30 hours a week but...the last couple of years not so much. I started calling in sick a lot. Then I talked myself down to fewer days a week because of my social problems. This last year the system has been real easy on me since I had a breakdown at one place I was sent to. I hated it there! Hot heavy sweaty dirty physical work. During the summer too. I was there 3 days a week and then they wanted to put me up to 5 days a week. My reaction...no f***ing way!!! I had a breakdown. I said I couldn't even handle 3 days a week anymore. The breakdown was planned, rehearsed, half staged, mostly serious. I told a couple of lies to make sure I got out of there. Ha ha, I got out of there and I was so happy!!! Then they sent me to a second social phobia course thing. I've been to two social phobia courses now, one group therapy thing here in town. Helped the others. Didn't help me much. And another thing in another town. Didn't help me much at all either. I've tried a few different medications doctors have prescribed. Those didn't help.
Ane now, suddenly, they wanna send me somewhere new starting at 5 days a week. I haven't actually been assigned 5 days a week in around 2 years now. It's been real real close a couple times but hasn't actually happened. And my attitude is, like, eat my shorts! I won't do it. I refuse. It's just way way too much for me! I told my case worker, you know I can't handle that! She said that was for my doctor to decide and she told me my doctor thinks I can do it. (RIght, I've been totally obviously drunk or high the last several months either one of 'em has seen me. They know I drink. They know I take pills. I used to be very aware and careful of hiding that I'd been drinking. The last several months, I just plain don't give a sh*t who knows anymore.)
I could do stuff, like...go back to calling in sick a lot, drink and take so many pills I pass out and just generally screw up at work, stage some breakdowns but...it's not even worth it. I'm just gonna refuse to go.
I'm in the middle of summer vacation now. (Late July.) It lasts 3 weeks. I don't have to do a thing, no meetings, no work, nothing. I haven't done anything wrong yet. I'll get all my money for August. But...next month, August, all hell will break loose. I might very well loose my welfare or at the very least get cut back so much I can't pay all my bills the following month. And I don't care anymore. Because I don't want to live anymore anyway.
I've never believed in a 5 day work week. Go through all that hell for what?! That's not life. That's not living. I'd much rather be dead than work 5 days a week. That's what I've always thought.
I hate jobs. I hate working. But career wise, there are a few things I like doing, that I wish I could have a career doing. I like writing. I've written a bunch of short stories. I wrote a book once. Started a second one. And I've written hundreds of songs. (Lyrics. I can't write music.) If I could somehow turn that into a career, that'd be awesome.:) I was very very serious about painting for several years. Hard to describe what they look like. Unusual. Nothing like you've ever seen before. Abstract. Some visual images I can give you to help you out...Picasso, Van Gogh, Salvador Dali, computer games/graphics, science fiction alien art or sort of other worldly cartoons, lots of geometric shapes, lots of contrast, very colorful, some are simple designs, most are very detailed, I use some flourescent colors in nearly every painting. I like playing with combining 3D effects with flat objects. Generally, I think of most of my stuff as pictures from other planets or other dimensions.
And I like photography. The thing is...so many millions and millions of people like doing those things I've mentioned. I always got compliments from teachers, friends, etc. Everyone who saw my my work was always impressed. I ALWAYS got positive compliments from anyone who saw it. I really did try but I never could get anyone important to even take one look at my stuff. Not one person! For example, I went to art galleries all over L.A. As well as many paintings I brought with me, I even had photos of my best paintings just to make it real quick and easy to look through so someone could get an idea of what I could do, all the original designs and things I did. But there are just way way too many idiots out there that think they have talent that the ones in charge of looking at new talent just don't want to be bothered with it anymore. Although, I knew my stuff was cool and very original and definitely not crap, I couldn't get anyone to even take one freakin' minute to look at my stuff.:S I thought people in the art world were supposed to be open minded and interested and excited about seeing something new. I was quite shocked and offended and totally heartbroken no one could take 1 minute to even take a single look at what I had. (I guess, in honesty, that's a bit of a reflection on my poor social skills as well.) By my late 20's I gave up painting, writing and photography. I figured why spend all that time and work on all that stuff no one will ever see. I could sit and do nothing and no one would know the difference. It's certainly a lot easier!!
I know it's a contradiction that I wanna get naked and do porn but...I think it would really be good for me!:) I think it would help me out!!:D And at the moment...that's about the best dream career I can think of.:) (I'd really rather do straight porn but I think chances are much higher that if I did get a shot at doing porn, it'd be gay porn. It would be sooo nice to feel pretty and be fucked and orgasmed in and get cum all over me! And if you read my blogs, you know I'm willing. I'd do it for free but, hey, if someone's makin' money off it then I want and deserve some of that too.)
The one other thing I can think of I'm really interested in is being a DJ. I looove music!!! If I had the equipment, I'd looove to experiment with that!:) I've been working on my own compilations and collections since I was a teen. I spend a lOt of time on music! Mostly trance and ambient. Mostly stuff only other truly dedicated trance freaks and DJ's would know of. I've never met anyone who's even heard of most of the stuff I listen to the last 15 years or so. I think it would be extremely exciting to play all kinds of new music to people who've never heard music like that before. Even after giving up painting, writing and photography, I still kept working on my music. I need something creative to do. And at least that I could use for my workouts, biking, walking, driving, doing the dishes, or whatever.
I've also from time to time thought I'd really like to try acting. That'd be fun, pretend to be someone else and your lines are all givin' to you. You don't have to think about what to say or do, you just act it out! I'd like to try that.
I had an orgasm in a woman....once in the last 10 years. Once! Wasn't even my ex. Some weird threesome thing with an older couple I never told anyone about before and decided I didn't like. I think the guy was bisexual but I wasn't interested in doing anything with guys back then. He wanted to watch me fuck his wife. Then he ate her out. The woman was just...well, old and gross and completely unattractive. Didn't even shave her legs. Just...yuck!! But I was desperate at the time, horny, hadn't had sex in years.
I met my ex about 3 or 4 years after I broke up with the girl I came to Denmark for. My last girlfriend came from Belarus to be with me. It lasted 2 years. That's the only relationship I've had in the last 9 years. We broke up about 4 years ago. She was a very very beautiful girl but...she wasn't affectionate and that's extremely important to me. That's why we broke up. She wasn't a very sexual person either. I had my dick in her a few times, that's it. I never came in her. I hated condoms and she didn't want to be on birth control. She was convinced it would mess with her hormones in a bad way or something. Of course, right after we broke up, she told me about how she was on birth control, liked it, and was dating lots of guys she met over the internet. A couple other little things...she never let me lick her pussy. Never!! And, believe me, I wanted to! She was so beautiful, the most beautiful girl I'd ever been with! I tried!!! Every way possible!!!! She never gave me oral sex either. And...she never masturbated. Ever. In her whole life! Or so she told me. She never let me cum on her face either
So, in the last 10 years, I've come once in a woman. (Happened through an ad in a newspaper before I got my computer.) Some old unattractive woman with leathered wrinkled skin. Barf! And I consider myself a very sexual person. Sex means a lot to me. Finally, I got a computer and I've been on the internet for about 4 years now, sooo many dating profiles all over the net I've forgotten how many. In all that time I've had one date. One! In early 2005. And I've written with just a very few girls here and there (here in Denmark and in other countries) over the last 4 years. Briefly. Until they find a new boyfriend. For girls it takes, like, a couple weeks at most. (The internet works out amazingly great for girls! A girl can put up one profile, barely write anything and get over a hundred responses a day. Me...I've put up dozens of profiles, have a whole website and get a few responses a year. And, yes, of course, I've tried writing to girls. Out of 50 or 100 tries, maybe, just maybe, one will write back. And I know it's 'cause girls get tons and tons of mail and just don't have time to write. And then within days or a couple weeks or a couple months at the very very most, she has a new boyfriend and it's all over. And, yeah, to be honest, there were a few girls I stopped writing to 'cause I didn't feel a connection or whatever you wanna call it.) That's it. That's all. I've had a computer 4 years and I don't have any internet friends. I usually don't. I'm not writing with anyone at all. (Okay, to be fair, I know several guys might probably be willing to write with me but...I want a girl to write with.) I haven't kissed anyone or had sex in over 4 years. Nothing. I'm quite sure it'd be a tOtaLLy different story if I were a girl!!!
I've spent the last 4 Christmases, New Year's and birthdays and summer vacations completely alone. It wasn't so bad since I've spent a lot more holidays than that alone in my life. But I just refuse to do another one. I don't believe I'll ever meet anyone again. I don't believe I'll ever get sex again. I don't believe I'll ever love again or have children or a house or a wife. I used to have hope for those things but how many years can one hold on??!! I give up. I can't do it anymore. I have to face the truth. It's just not going to happen. And I don't understand. I can't be that bad looking. I would be a really great boyfriend!! I could and would work on my phobia if I were inspired enough! Basically, gettin' some pussy would be extremely inspiring!!!:D I just want someone to love who would love me back. I need to feel the touch of a woman's skin, to have her in bed with me, to see her body, to be able to hold her at night or anytime and tell her I love her very much. I need someone to play with, someone to talk to, someone to laugh with. I can't and will not go through year after year after year alone anymore. I need her so bad. I can't go through the whole rest of my life never having sex again, never being near a woman again, never having anyone in my bed again. (Like I said, most of the time I'm fine alone. I'm not looking for friends. I just need a girlfriend. And I haven't had someone to laugh with or play with or kiss or have face to face intimate conversations with or hug for 4 years now and only 2 out of the last 9 years!!)
And it's hard to face the truth, to know it's just not gonna happen. Nobody cares about me. Nobody loves me. Nobody ever will. Oh my God, nobody will even fuck me. Male or female. That's what hurts the most. I seriously need to be held and fucked every single day!!! (And sometimes treated like a complete and total slut!;) It hurts sooo bad. Day after day after day, week after week, year after year, nobody will fuck me. I really seriously totally can't stand it anymore.
I decided to do this 2-3 months ago. I've been thinking about it seriously since the beginning of the year. (Actually, I promised myself last year if I didn't get a girlfriend or any pussy, I was gonna end it all.) I need to end the suffering and the pain. I'm planning to do it with carbon monoxide poisoning. I've researched this on the internet. Cutting your wrists only works maybe 1-2 percent of the time. Taking pills usually doesn't work. If I could've gotten my hands on a gun, I would've done it looong ago! Supposedly, if you light up a barbeque in a closed room it will slowly replace the oxygen with carbon monoxide and one would die. I've read it's a very popular method of suicide in China and Japan. And very effective. I bought four bags of barbeque briquettes a couple months ago. I'll take a whole bunch of pills (Valium), drink vodka, maybe codeine, maybe some other pills, tape off all the air vents in the bedroom, light up several barbeques and that should do it. I'm not sure exactly what day yet. Well...actually, I'm planning to do it late at night, like in the early morning hours so everything will be nice and quiet. Soon. Very soon.
I feel bad about not being able to do more with my website. (Of course, on the other hand, no matter how many videos I make or how much I expand my website...no girls contact me. I won't get sex. And that was the whole idea. The internet was my only hope.) I had sooo many plans. Like, I never got to finish the pictures from all my camcorder videos. Some of the next pages I was planning to start were...I was gonna put up some interesting sexy videos I downloaded off the internet. I was gonna upload a whole bunch of Taylor Rain videos because I think she's the most way beautiful sexiest hottest thing in porn eVeR!!!!:) I was gonna make a page with links to video and picture sites I look at. I ain't got a girl. So, all I can do is look at stuff on the net. I'm a porn freak. New sites are popping up all the time, faster than I can keep track of all that. I have hundreds of links to really great free video and picture sites! And I was working on some new sex fantasies. I was gonna put up a page of pictures of my paintings. I was gonna put up a page of sex stories I found off the internet. Plus, wow, all the videos I could've kept doing.
I knew it wouldn't change anything but...it's all I had to give, to offer, before I gave up and ended it all. I spent the last three weeks of my life working on my website and uploading my videos to a few other sites. I guess
I wanted to leave something behind, to be able to say, hey, I was here. I wanted to give some people some pleasure and entertainment before I left. It means so much to me that some people really do like my videos!!:) (And, like I said, I also drank vodka every single day and took Valiums. You'd think maybe I would've slept a lot. But I didn't. Not much. Hard to sleep when you know you'll be dead within a few weeks.. And then money's almost gone. I cancelled a few bills in August to pay for vodka and pills. I also used my Visa and put my bank account in the negative direction. For vodka. That stretched things out a couple weeks. I spent around $60 Friday. That was all that was left in my account for the month after one bill got paid. I won't have the money to pay all the bills in September. That one bill is paid. A bunch are canceled. I can't pay the rent. About another $85-90 just came into my bank account today. (Monday). I went shopping (half) for vodka and (half) for food. And that's all the money I have for September. I have about another $1 more in my wallet. That's it.
I kept up all my workouts though. At least 6 nights a week. Right up 'til the end. It helps me sleep at night.) I spent the last five days drinking lots and taking pills and trying to be as relaxed as possible Watching movies I downloaded.. (And getting rid of personal papers I don't anyone to see. Getting rid of personal stuff on my computer. Still saving some though. I'm not afraid of dying. That part sounds great. My biggest fear is somehow I'd survive. Then what?! So, this plan better work!!!)
If I don't write within a couple weeks or a month, that means it prob'ly worked and I am dead. But don't be sad for me. Be happy for me.:) Please, be glad my suffering is over. Things are just soooo bad, I just can't do this anymore. I can't! Every single day is just completely absolutely pointless pain and suffering to me! I hate every single day and I don't want to live anymore. Every day I want to die. Every single day I hate having to wake up. I have to go. I have to say goodbye. I have to leave. Everyone has to die someday anyway. Without any love...without any sex at all....without any affection at all...life means absolutely nothing.
To my fans...I'm sorry.

August 29, 2008

The Big Explanation

I know I promised some kind of big explanation (behind the pills and drinking) at the end of the month but it will have to wait 'til the first week of September.
It's major and I keep putting it off and putting it off but I can't put it off any longer now. It's coming. It's coming soon. Very soon.
If anyone's curious, the vodka bottle count since August 23rd was 66, now it's 73,

August 23, 2008

Again, Am I An Alcoholic Yet?

So, I think, since July 19th, I estimated, I drank 15 bottles so far that month. Today is August 23rd and I've drunk 66 bottles since I've been collecting them, that means 51 bottles since July 19th. And you know, I never drink without taking 1-3 10mg. Valiums. And occasionally some codeine, Am I an alcoholic?

August 23, 2008

I Got My Fav Sunglasses Back!:)

So, I actually got some good news today. The hospital sent me back my ID card, which was missing from my last accident, and they said they had my sunglasses! The lady didn't send them 'cause she was afraid they'd break, which they prob'ly would. But the letter I got said I could come pick 'em up. So, that's what I did today. Yay! Stilll in good condition. Had blood on 'em but that cleans off easily enough.. Really happy to have 'em back.:D They cost me, like, $350 here. Although I know now, I can get 'em cheaper off eBay. Anyway, I got 'em back and that's really great news.:)

August 16, 2008

The Pills and Drinking Adventures Continue

I don't understand. Last time I was out I took 2 Valiums and drank a little over a half a bottle of vodka and I was fine. No problems. I only went to 2 stores though.
Yesterday, the same. Maybe 2/3 of a bottle. Okay, plus a couple aspirin/codeine tabs. I wasn't planning on doing much shopping since I was almost out of cash. But I tried my Visa at a bank automat and it gave me $400!!:) LOL. Holy shit! I tried the card again but it wouldn't give me any more. My bank account is in the negative direction now.
Anyway, so I was only planning to get 4 bottles of vodka but got 10 instead!:) My only regret is I didn't get the last 2 bottles that were there at the store.
Then I came home. (Rememeber, I only have a bike so I have to come home to unload stuff before I go out again.) Then I was out to another store. Did that a couple more times. I was finally at my last stop, just about to check out when...I don't know what happened. I fell down. I got right back up but was kinda dazed. I looked down watching blood dripping on the floor. The checkout girl was talking to someone else about calling for an ambulance. Oh no!
The ambulance got there really fast!! Like, instantly. I'm saying , please, I'm fine, all I want to do is get my stuff and go home. But the paramedic is saying I'm bleeding and I have to go with him to the hospital. He was extremely insistent. I went. A nurse stitched me up. I didn't even notice. I thought they were just cleaning and putting band-aids on. Apparently, I have a cut over my right eye. I also have a black eye again! But not at all as bad as last time. This one should heal within a week, hopefully. And I cut my chin open again. The exact same spot from a couple weeks ago or somewhere about then.
Anyway, so they brought to the hospital in an ambulance, stitched me up and I was laying there alone. I got up, grabbed my backpack and left. But I started walking in the wrong direction home. I walked at least a half hour before I realized I was going totally the wrong way. Then I walked back, got to my bike and rode home.
Today my ass hurts pretty bad, my elbow is scraped up, I have a cut over my eye, a black eye again, a cut under my chin. I took the stitches out already. Maybe not the smartest idea but it just looks so goofy and strange to me having stitches on my face.
The worst news is that fall in the store must've been my second fall that day. I think I fell off my bike somewhere before then. Looking over store receipts, I lost a bag of several cartons of milk and had to go back to buy more. My fav expensive sunglasses are gone and my fav earphones to my MP3 player are gone. I still have the MP3 player though!:D
I remember the first half of the day and I was fine! It's the second half of the day I was all confused, falling down, going back to stores I'd already been to. I've figured out if I take pills and drink and am out all day...that's a big problem. I will fall down. I'll crash. I'll lose things. It's so weird 'cause I can take lots more pills and booze at home and nothing at all happens! I don't fall down or get confused or anything!! Apparently, being out all day and riding my bike everywhere, trying to do too much, after a few hours...something happens and things go horribly wrong. I fall, I get cut up, I get blood all over my clothes, I lose stuff, stuff gets scratched up. It's crazy.
Next time I go out, I'm NOT taking that much! I swear!! I'll hold off 'til after I get home. At home nothing bad happens.
I've learned getting high and going out...leads to all kinds of disaster and destruction.
I thought taking pills and drinking would make shopping fun. But...now I'm thinking...too many risks of falling, getting cut, bleeding, losing stuff, getting stuff scratched up. It's all just way too crazy.
I still have plenty of money left for the month.:) Hee hee. And what am I planning to do next week? But more pills and booze!:P (Even though I don't need it right now. At the moment, I have more pills and vodka then I've ever had. I just wanna spend all my money, use the last of it up on what I like most lately.;)
Further explanations coming. I will explain it all before the month is over. I'm purposely on a self destructive path and just really don't give a sh*t anymore. It's all gonna be over soon.

August 10, 2008

I Need To Be Fucked!

So...I guess I'm drunk right now. And I have no one to play with. How boring.
I usually take Valiums and drink and sleep at least a couple hours in the afternoons now. It's alright but today I'm afraid to sleep. I know when I wake up I'll be sober and it'll be dinner time. Then workout, then watch TV, then go to bed alone, then wake up alone. Again. Horny. And no one to hold, no one to fuck.
I was wondering this morning...are there any girls into morning sex?? 'Cause after a night's sleep, I'm charged up and horny as f***! I need to, you know, deposit my sperm somewhere. LOL.
Yeah, so, mostly I like being alone, I guess, but sometimes I get lonely. No one to talk to. No one to have fun with.
I wish all the time I was a girl so I could attract more interest, more company, more sex.
I'd be happy, I think, if a guy could use my ass or my mouth to deposit his sperm into. And I wish I had a pussy!! At least I'd feel useful in some way. At least and at last I'd feel someone likes me and could get horny over me.:)
I need to feel sexually desired. I need to be sexually wanted and used. Without it...I'm nothing, a zero, I feel totally useless to anyone.
I want to be fucked daily! And I don't know why everyone on earth doesn't want to do porn videos and get naked and be fucked constantly. 'Cause that's what I want! That's what I want to do!! That's what I wish I could do!!!
To be loved. Physically, sexually. That's my biggest dream.:)

August 3, 2008

My Apartment (And Dreams)

I used to love my apartment!:) It's one of the larger sizes in town. Lots of space. More space than I've ever had to myself. And I thought carefully and decorated each room just as I wanted. I thought about colors, having some stuff showing but not too much, arranging the furniture just perfectly. I thought about every square inch in every room and what would look best. I like things generally sparse, clean, uncluttered, calm, relaxing. A few things to look at but definitely not too much.
And now...I'm tired of my apartment. I'm tired of neighbors. The neighbor war with those old neighbors downstairs still goes on. It drags my spirits down daily still. I've learned to wear ear plugs every night and some of the day, listen to my TV with earphones and a hearing protector, for example. And I still HATE those neighbors! I despise them. I'd really like to shoot them in the head and never see or hear from them ever ever again. Things aren't as bad as when they first moved in but...they still bother me a GREAT deal and I want them dead and gone!!! It would make my life sooo much easier and happier.
But even with them gone...I'm still tired of my apartment, my town, my life. I want to live in a different country. I want out of here.
I want my own house, secluded, no neighbors, no noise. I want to be rich and have a mansion all to myself! With a pool!!:D I'd swim every day. I'd have my own mini-bar. I'd shop. I imagine I'd be quite happy for some time, possibly years even. Even if I never met anyone and only if I didn't have to work. I want to be rich, live where I want, travel when I want, shop when I want. Have a nice big impressive place to invite a girl to.:)
That's the dream, isn't it? The dream everyone wants. The dream so very few actually get.
It's not about talent. It's about who you know, who can get you in somewhere. The key to a good life is about contacts, what family you were born into, how the people you know can help you.
Sure, there are success stories...the few in a billion that came from nowhere and made it big. But the odds are way against it! Most talented people will never get their shot, never get their chance to show what they can do. For the few that made it...millions didn't. Millions of extremely talented people will never be heard of.
I'm slightly drunk as I write this but you all know it's true. Life is purely a matter of chance, who you know, who can get you in to see someone important.
I never got my shot and I am very disappointed and bitter. I could've been someone if I knew the right people. But I don't know anyone. And I won't lie or play games to get in with the right people. It's not me. It's not in my nature. I'd rather die than kiss up to the right people. I guess I have my pride and I will never give it up.
To all you dreamers....it's a one in a billion shot. I play the odds. I know I will never be anyone. The dream has absolutely no hold on me anymore. The future is gone, done, sealed and decided. I am alone and will be alone forever.
I wish I had something better to say. But these days I face the truth. No more silly dreams, no more hope, just...dead truth and honesty.

July 29, 2008

Ode To Lots of Valium and Vodka :P

Cruisin'

Baby, let's cruise away from here
Don't be confused, the way is clear
And if you want it, you got it forever
This is not a one night stand, baby, yeah
So, let the music take your mind, ooh
Just release and you will find

You're gonna fly away
Glad you're going my way
I love it when we're cruisin' together
The music is playing for love
Cruisin' is made for love
I love it when we're cruisin' together

Baby, tonight belongs to us
Everything's right, do what you must
And inch by inch we get closer and closer
To every little part of each other
Ooh, baby, yeah
So, let the music take your mind
Just release and you will find

You're gonna fly away
Glad you're going my way
I love it when we're cruisin' together
The music is playing for love
Cruisin' is made for love
I love it when we're cruisin' together

(Cruise with me, baby, cruise)
Oooh, yeah
Oh, baby

Baby, let's cruise
Let's float, let's glide
Ooh, let's open up and go inside
And if you want it, you got it forever
Ah, I could just stay there inside you and love you, baby
Let the music take your mind
Just release and you will find

You're gonna fly, yeah, yeah
Glad you're going my way
I love it when we're cruisin' together
The music is playing for love
Cruisin' is made for love
I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it

(We're gonna fly away)
Yeah
(Glad you're going my way)

I love it when we're cruisin' together
Music is playing for love, slow music
Ooh, baby
I love it

--by Smokey Robinson (1979)

July 19, 2008

Am I An Alcoholic Yet?

So, I'm not totally sure but I think I drank at least 15 bottles of vodka so far this month. And the month is far from over! They raised the price (again!) on the brand I used to get so it was around the begining of the month I found a cheaper brand at another store that tastes fine.:) And I drink the bottles so fast, I don't even throw 'em out anymore. I have a collection lined up on the floor in a spare room from the last several weeks. It's up to 36 bottles now. Hee hee. Plus I take 2-3 Valiums a day now.
I crash on my bike a lot and don't remember. Just as my face was almost healed from last time....yesterday....I got a cut on my chin and...a black eye!:S Plus the right side of my ass hurts from falling somewhere. I'm really f***in' upset about the black eye. I've never had one before. It looks horrible! F***!!! How long does such a thing take to heal? I want to do more videos!!
Why my face?:( I seriously seriously don't want my face messed up anymore!! I hate that. It's so depressing and upsetting.:( I'm not going to take as much Valium and vodka when I go out anymore. I don't want to risk f***ing up my face anymore. I take too much and obviously can't ride my bike without crashing. I don't even remember the crashes anymore. I don't remember much of anything when I go out anymore, in fact.
Do I have a problem? Yes. I take Valium and drink vodka everyday lately.
Why? Like I've said a few times before, there is an explanation coming soon.
Everyone has problems. Everyone has pain. Most everyone keeps the faith and the hope but...I don't have that anymore. Absolutely no faith and no hope in the future.
And I am so so sorry I can't write about I'm having a great time, that everything is fine and I'm doing just great. I'm sorry. I really am.
The truth is my life is a total freakin' mess and it can't be saved. I used to have hope....but without it, I have nothing left.
Ha ha, yes, these are the rantings and ramblings of someone that needs to be fucked very badly!:P Most of the time, I think that's what I want to do with my life, just be naked and fucked every day!!!:D

July 5, 2008

Booze and Pills (And My Most Depressing Post Ever)

So, yesterday I took 3 or 4 Valium, drank about a bottle of vodka and took some codeine.
I was biking yesterday and fell pretty bad somewhere. I don't remember where or when. I must've come home and passed out for about 3 hours. I woke up. My clothes had blood on them. Some blood on the walls. My face was messed up. My nose and chin got scraped and my upper lip is split open and swollen. I didn't care a whole lot right then. All I could think was, like, shit, it's late, I didn't finish my shopping! I cleaned my face up slightly and left again. I went to a store I'd already been to earlier. I just plain forgot I had already been there. I bought double of a few things. Came home, couldn't find my new backpack, took another one, left for the bank. Couldn't remember my pin code to get some cash. Couldn't get any more money. Went to another store, bought just a few things. Came home. Ate. Passed out on the couch. Woke up. Took a shower. Washed blood out of my clothes. Still couldn't find my new Puma backpack. Amazingly, all I lost was the backpack, a compact mirror and my favorite sunglasses case. I scratched up my favorite bracelet a bit in the fall too. Dammit! Looks like I'll have to buy a third one. I would've totally f***ing completely freaked out if I lost my new expensive favorite sunglasses or my new MP3 player but I still have them.
I was planning to record a new video today but...my face is too messed up right now. I even considered going to the hospital to have my lip looked at. It could probably use some stitches but...maybe it'll be okay anyway. It looks a lot better today than yesterday
I finished my shopping today. I asked at the stores I was at yesterday if I might've forgotten my backpack there. No luck. They don't have it. I must've lost it where ever I crashed yesterday but I can't remember where that might've been.
Was at the bank again. Still can't get any more money because I tried my pin code 3 times wrong yesterday. And I can't get into the bank today to get this straightened out because it's Saturday and they're closed. Sigh. Only had money for one more bottle of vodka.
I got my new order of pills in the mail today! 150 this time. Generic Valium. 10mg tablets. The first place I ordered from has been closed since summer vacation. They keep saying they're sold out and will open again soon. I don't know when. It's been weeks now. I ordered from another place wholesale-pharmacy.com. You can also check and compare prices and read reviews of other places at drugbuyers.com. I'm very happy I got my new pills but really disappointed and depressed I lost my new backpack and my fav sunglasses case. Also really very irritated and upset about my lip getting split open and not even being able to remember how or where it happened. In fact, there are rapidly increasing hours of time every week that I totally don't remember.
Some of my favorite things get dropped, get scratches, etc., 'cause I get drunk and drop stuff. That upsets me quite a bit but...unavoidable with all I drink and all the pills I take lately.
With all the problems and things going wrong, you'd think I'd maybe want to quit. But I don't. Not at all. I feel it's the only thing keeping me alive, the only thing that keeps me going. I just want more and more and more. It's approaching a daily habit. If that's addiction, so be it. I don't care. I want to spend my last weeks or months being as relaxed and unfeeling and spaced out as possible.
There is no love, no affection, no kind words, no hope. Nothing left. Booze and pills help me forget some of the misery and make some kind of coping possible.
Sorry for the depressing post. I really do try not to write when I'm down. I don't know how most people feel about their lives. At the moment I'm guessing most people feel the same way and anyone reading this would have some kind of appreciation that I'm just being honest and straightforward.
I don't know what love is. I don't know what happiness is. I've forgotten what simple affection is like. I don't believe in those things anymore. I have no hope for those things anymore. I know I will never have them. People survive on faith and hope but what happens when you face the truth and give up all those ridiculous preposterous notions and fairytales. Then there's nothing left.
To try my best to end on more upbeat note...oh my God, somebody fUcK me, please!!!!!!! Strip me down, bend me over and fuck me like a cheap dirty slut!! Do me good! My mouth, my ass, everything!!! Do it to me every single day!:D

July 2, 2008

I Had A Dream About Jennifer Connelly

Jennifer Connelly is one of my very favorite actresses! I think about her a lot actually. I've seen almost all of the movies she's been in. Some of them...oh my God! Her look and performance absolutely blew me away. Like...in A Beautiful Mind (2001), Requiem For A Dream (2000), House Of Sand And Fog (2003), Dark Water (2005), even in Hulk (2003)...she made that movie worth watching.
Oh my God, that face, those eyes...eyes I know I could look at forever and always be enchanted and amazed. That beautiful long dark hair! I looooooove it. She is totally magnetic on screen and holds my attention deeply every second. I could go on and on. She's so beautiful and sexy! Yet she seems so...grounded, so "down to earth" as they say, someone that would be so easy and fun and nice to talk to. I'd do anything for a girl like that!!!!
Of course...she's married, has kids, etc. I know someone that successful wouldn't be interested in me. (I suppose, sort of technically, I'm just "a fan". But I've never understood fan hysteria. You know, people obsessed with stars. I wouldn't wait in line anywhere just to catch a glimpse of someone. I wouldn't waste my time writing to a star. They won't write back, I'm pretty sure. Nothing can come of it. It's very unlikely they'd ever even see it if I wrote something. I don't even want anyone's autograph. I'd never ask for one. I don't understand why some people care so much about autographs.)
So...the dream, yeah, the one and only dream I've ever had about her. I rarely ever have happy dreams. So, I'm pleased if I don't remember my dreams at all. This one may have been the best dream...in years, I suppose. I can't remember anything better at the moment anyway.
We were together in a room. Alone. I don't know where the room was except that it was a living room maybe. I don't know if it was in a house or apartment or who lived there or even what city or country it was. We sat on wooden chairs very close to each other. Some things weren't in the dream but I knew them. Like, we'd already met several times. We always had such a great time talking to each other. I had very strong feelings for her. I think I was in love with her. But...I didn't know how she felt and I didn't want to ruin anything or make her uncomfortable.
Every once in awhile I'd touch her hair or put my arm around her at an appropriate moment in a conversation. I'm usually not that brave. I basically don't touch someone I don't know very well. I don't know, I just felt so comfortable with her. She seemed to enjoy it very much, like smile every time or blush or something but...I'm realllly stupid about that stuff! I mean, I never know what girls I've only recently met think of me. Anyway...
So, we're sitting close together and talking. I couldn't help it. She was right there. So beautiful! So perfect. I wanted to touch her so bad. I reached up and touched her gorgeous hair. We were already sitting so close together. I put my head close to hers, against her. Being with her made me happy and the closer I was, the happier I was. I kind of half hugged her and she hugged me back. My mouth was right next to her pretty ear. I whispered something like, "I like this."
She smiled and said, "I like it too." And then she asked me something about why I didn't do that more. She also asked me why was it so hard for me to show my feelings.
I softly told her I liked being with her so much! It meant so much to me. And it was extremely difficult to hold back. I told her I felt I was holding back so much and it was so hard that it hurts. I wanted to touch her more!! Oh my God, so much. And she was telling me she liked me too and asking me so why do I hold back, why don't I touch her more and let her know how I feel. I told her something about because I respect her so much. I'm in awe of her. She's sooo beautiful and I'm so blown away and impressed with everything she's accomplished in her life. I was saying something like, "You've accomplished so much! I'm so proud of you. I don't even know how to explain how impressed I am. I'm intimidated by you sometimes."
My mouth was close to her ear. I was rubbing my face lightly against her soft hair. We held each other, our hands moving around on each other. I knew she liked what she was hearing. She liked the compliments. She said something to me like it was sweet but I shouldn't be intimidated. She just wanted to be with me. She wanted me not to be afraid anymore and please show my feelings.

Okay...so the dream wasn't about sex. I wasn't naked. There wasn't an actual kiss. At least not on the mouth. Not that I remember. I think I might have kissed her ear and the side of her head a couple times. But...sitting there, holding each other, being so close...in that moment, in that moment I was so happy and life was so good. And meaningful. It was so beautiful!! Such a beautiful happy moment.
And then I woke up.:S :(
I wanted to go back!!! Back to the dream, back to that beautiful dream, back to the happiness and love I felt. I wished I could go back forever and just stay there. But I couldn't get back. My eyes were closed but I wasn't tired. I was uncomfortable. I had to change position. I couldn't fall asleep again. I turned back and tried the position I was in before. I couldn't sleep. It was lost. Gone. Gone forever.
I woke up to my crappy useless meaningless pathetic sad life. I got up, put on a robe and made my morning iced coffee. (Well, I only use ice if it's really hot. Today it's not, so...)
I grabbed a free newspaper off the kitchen counter that I picked up somewhere yesterday. I walked to a couch in the living room. Still thinking about that dream. Before I sat down, I started to cry. Every day, every night, what I think about, what I really truly want most was in that dream. There was a beautiful girl. We loved each other. There were very special feelings and affection between us.
I sat down on the couch and cried.

I don't want to write these things. I don't want to go on and on about most of the stuff I've been writing about this year. But it's all leading to...a sort of explanation. It all adds up. It makes sense later. I'm not ready to go into that just yet. Soon.

June 28, 2008

Oops...Too Much Valium, Vodka and Codeine. (I Got Totally F*ed Up.)**

Like, f***! Whaddid I say last time. Tone it down!!!
Now, you do know I could totally skip telling you this story and make you think nothing ever goes wrong and I'm always in control and never embarrass myself but...something went wrong this week. The truth is anyone who keeps up experimenting with mixing pills and drinking...one day something will go wrong. And this is my most shameful drinking story, the one time I was not in control of my own body, the absolute most messed up I've ever been.
For some unknown reason I decided to make last Thursday my big drug day.:P Okay, honestly, I'm tired and utterly hopelessly unimpressed with life and taking some of everything I had to get wasted seemed like a brilliant idea.:) I didn't want to get so f***ed up I couldn't go out in public to get some things done though. I wanted to be calm and relaxed as possible, not think or worry about anything, just get my stuff done, totally not give a sh*t about anything, not even have one serious thought in my head all day.:)
I started off with 20 aspirin/codeine tablets. They have 9.6mg codeine per tablet. I extracted the codeine the night before. Well, this time, I mixed the powder and water a bunch of times but let it sit in the refrigerator over night before mixing it some more and then finally filtering it. Drank that. Yucky nasty! Gross!!
Then I took a shower. Somewhere in the process of getting dressed I took a Valium. (10mg.) But forgot. I thought I might've taken one but I wasn't sure. I wasn't feeling much of anything. Strangely more excited and awake than usual actually. That's what the codeine usually does to me. (But I still take it sometimes 'cause I've read it's supposed to be relaxing.) I didn't feel any Valium at all. So, I took another one to be sure. Then, after I got dressed, I started on the vodka shots. I had about half a bottle. Wasn't really high or drunk or anything. Just...slightly mellow was all. My big drug day was looking like it was going to turn out to be a complete joke. Some days it works out pretty good, some days it just doesn't do much of anything.
I was out to a couple places. Came back. Felt fine. Not particularly high at all or wasted or anything. I took another Valium (up to 30mg at this point) and had several more shots of vodka. (Up to over half a bottle now, closer to 3/4 of a bottle.) I almost forgot...before I got to the vodka again, I took some Lyrica too. It's a medicine for epilepsi and can also be used for anxiety. I was curious about it because I read a couple people said if you take enough of it, like 600mg, you can get high off it. The first time I tried it, I took four or five 75mg capsules while I was out and after I had been drinking. I drank a lOt that day! I came home sort of half conscious, had fallen off my bike at least once, my hand was bleeding but I didn't notice. I fell on the bed and passed out for a few hours. But last Thursday I only took one pill, I think. Not more than two anyway. I really don't remember. I didn't think it would do much but...maybe it did. This was only my second time trying it. The warnings for it say not to take it with alcohol or Lorazepam, which is another benzodiazepine much like Valium. Wow...now I'm thinking that's what caused the problem I had. So, anyway, I left again. Of course, this was planned and I was doing this on an empty stomach. Hadn't eaten at all or drank much of anything the last 18 hours or so.
Around 20 minutes later...I was walking to the bank when......I don't know what the f*** happened. I fainted. I just collapsed and fell on the pavement. A couple of passers by asked if I was okay. Yeah, yeah, I said I was fine. There was a fountain thing nearby with benches around it. I spotted an empty bench and barely managed to get myself up. I got over to the bench and sat down. I don't remember how I got to the bench exactly. Prob'ly half walking, half stumbling. I sat there for a little while thinking about how I really should get to the bank and finish my shopping but...I couldn't walk. I tried to get up at least a couple times. I think I fell once. I sat down the next time I tried before I fell down. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't walk. I could barely move.
Time passed. At least 3 people came over at different points to say hi to me. One shook my hand. They sure seemed like they knew me but I didn't recognize any of them. They were just quick sort of greetings. Besides barely being able to move, I could barely speak. I don't remember if I even said anything at all. I still don't remember who they were. Maybe they thought I was someone else...? Strange though. At least 3, maybe 4 people, had come by to say hi. And it didn't seem like it had been that long at all but I must have been there about 4 hours.
I had tried a whole bunch of times to get up and walk but couldn't. I remember staring at my flip flop that was only half on my right foot. I was trying to wiggle my foot into it. I couldn't even do that. I had my MP3 player with me. I thought I'd listen to some music but...I couldn't see the screen. Maybe the sunlight was just too bright. I kept trying to make it work but I couldn't get it to do anything.
This was way out and by far the most totally f***ed up I've ever ever been from drinking and pills. I've never before been so messed up I couldn't walk. I could barely move. I was barely aware of what I was doing or what was going on around me.
It got late. It was getting darker. It was about 7pm. I was the only one left. There might've been one other person walking by. I don't remember. My consciousness seemed to drift in and out. The stores were closed. I knew it was way too late to get to the bank. The post office was closed. I couldn't finish my shopping. I didn't even know if I could get home but I decided I wasn't going to sit there all night. So, I got up and gave it another try. I could walk!:)
I made it to my bike. I tried to ride it. Within a minute (or two at most), I fell off. And I knew I was just still too messed up to ride my bike. It was simply not going to work. No way. I'd have to walk it home. So, that's what I did.
I got home, stripped off my clothes, put on a bathrobe, layed down and went to sleep on...the couch or the bed. I don't remember. I woke up around 2am. I drank at least a liter of Coca-Cola Zero with ice. Oh my God, it was sooo good!!:D I wasn't that tired but I figured I should try and sleep the rest of the night, get up early and finish the stuff I needed to do.
I must've eaten some chicken after I got home that night 'cause I saw the plate the next morning. I don't remember eating anything though.
Anyways, like, holy freakin' f*** ducks, I didn't think anything could mess me up that bad 'cause I've never experienced anything like that before. But...yeah, wow, take enough stuff and...it'll bring anyone down. LOL.
Gotz 2 gotz 2 rememba...tone it down.

June 22, 2008

In The News Today: Special Town Name Attracts Turists

A small village, with just 93 inhabitants, a little outside of Salzburg in Austria has been pestered by turists since EM soccer season started.
The village is used to turists. But especially the many English speaking soccer fans have made the village a turist magnet. The reason for the village's popularity is its notable name.
The village is called Fucking. And even though its actually pronounced "fooking", turists still flock there just to be photographed next to the village sign.
The village is also plagued by thieves that take the Fucking town sign home with them.

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Holy sh*t! And I thought the Danish town name Middelfart was bad. Ha ha ha...
Like, you know, when you wander out of Fucking to somewhere else...and someone asks, so, where do you live? Oh, I come from Fucking. No, I mean, where were you born? In Fucking. Can I give you a ride home, where should we go? Fucking. LOL.
And, by the way, think of how excellent this would look on a job application or something.;) And letters! They come addressed...you know, name, street, city and country: Fucking, Austria. LOL.
Hey! How 'bout a turist book with all the jokes!!:) That'd be a nifty souvenir.:) Hell yeah, a detailed and informative practical guide full of facts and the complete history of Fucking!:D
Dude! Oh my God, I'm pretty f***ing sure if I lived in Fucking, I would have to f***ing move as soon as f***ing possible!:P Like...damn, that's f***ed up, f*** that sh*t!!!:P :) :D

June 20, 2008

My Latest Valium and Vodka Adventures

Well, so, being that I'm still new to trying out Valium...I've been experimenting to see how much is enough and how much is too much. Valium on its own doesn't seem to do much but with vodka it's pretty cool.;)

Last time, a couple days ago, um, oh my gosh, I didn't plan to take so much, it just kinda happened. I had four 10mg Valium pills, around 90mg codeine and about half a bottle of vodka. Yeah...that'll pretty much knock you out half the day and most of the night. LOL. (I was very well rested and had a very long good run last night though. I jogged for 2 hours.)

Today...I seem to have totally completely forgotten that Valium increases the effect of vodka. I had 2 pills of Valium, 2 pills of aspirin/codeine and just almost a whole bottle of vodka. Within an hour. This makes being in any sort of work environment nearly impossible without arousing suspicion. Another simple tip: It may make riding a bike a bit awkward during some moments.:P On my way home, after stopping at the store to pick up a couple more bottles of vodka, of course, I recall drifting over a little too far to the right and falling over into some bushes. At least once. Maybe twice. I only remember once for sure though. And my forehead got a bit scraped up.
And, oh my God, if you think alcohol makes you forget things sometimes, holy jeez, a couple Valium with vodka......um, wow, not remembering much lately. LOL.

Tone it down, that's all. That's what I've learned from my last 2 adventures. Still very much enjoying my new lil cute blue pills and will definitely get some more.:) (I'll prob'ly try the generic ones next time though. They're half the price.)

Would rather be having sex! The pills and booze, for one thing, help me forget how much I really want someone to take off my clothes, feel me up and fuck me totally sexy raw and dirty.:)

June 12, 2008

I Gotz Me Sum Valium!!:) Hellz yeah!!! YAY!!!!!!! :D

I'm bored with codeine already. It usually seems to act as an upper on me. And, if it works right, the effects are never consistent or reliable. Not what I'm looking for.
I started looking into getting some Valium over a year ago. I can't get it from the health system here. I've been searching the net increasingly more and more the last several months. Put in a lot of hours on that altogether. No, it's not that difficult to find but finding a reasonable price is totally crazy hard. And then, of course, you pay up front but how do you know they'll actually send anything. Other considerations being, like, do they know how to package it so Customs won't get curious. That would freakin' outrageously suck to spend a bunch of money and Customs just grabs the pills and throws 'em out. They will do that in Denmark. Plus, if it happens more than once, there could be criminal charges. I was so very much hoping to find somewhere that ships from inside the E.U. That's really important 'cause Customs here doesn't usually check stuff coming from another E.U. country.
Anyway, oh my God, last week I finally found something! Someone mentioned it on a forum board somewhere. I checked it out. Seemed like it was probably for real. They have the original brand name Valium for less than half the price I've seen for generic Valium anywhere else. And they also have generic Valium way cheap! Although...the generic pills come loose in a plastic bag. No packaging or labelling or anything. I'd never even tried Valium so I figured I better get the original if possible so I know what effect it's supposed to have. I ordered. They sent it! Came within a few days. And they know how to package it, no worries there. Looked real. Comes in original blister packs. Of course, I had to try them to be sure. Yep, they're real!:)
Requestedmeds.net. They've got Valium, Xanax, a few other things. Lowest prices I've found anywhere. (Except for the couple of times I came across a nice low price if you order a couple thousand pills. Ha ha, I'd like to but I just don't have the money for that.) The place I ordered from is closed right now for summer vacation but open again Monday, June 23rd.
Oh my God, I was sooo excited and happy when I got my pills!:D I tried Valium for the first time that night. Right after my workout. Since it was my first time and I didn't know how strong the stuff was, I tried just half a pill, 5mg. A puny amount, I know. But I was thinking, hey, it's a prescription drug, there must be a reason for that. It might be really strong. Ha ha, it's not though. Similar to alcohol is all. Not that big a deal. Okay...not the best idea to take it straight after a workout 'cause the heart is still going faster than normal. I felt some occasional irregular flutters and such during the first 20-30 minutes. It feels like the heart really wants to do one thing but the Valium is pushing it to do something else. Anyway, well, it was real late. I just watched some TV. Barely made it through the first half of a movie I had on disc and conked out on the couch. I didn't know if the Valium caused that or...maybe I was so tired just 'cause it was so late, about 3am.
The next night I worked out a little longer. Same thing, took a shower, watched TV. No pill this time. Watched the rest of that movie and started another one. It was around 3am again but I wasn't that tired. I went to bed just 'cause it was so late. So...then I was sure the Valium did have an effect the night before.
Some people on the net say Valium itself isn't that big a deal but...when you add alcohol...that makes it a whole new thing. (Of course, a lot of people say don't ever take 'em both at the same time. And I don't mean to promote drinking or drugs. I'm not suggesting anyone else who hasn't tried it should try it. I never do that. I'm just writing some of my experiences is all.)
The next day I tried 5mg Valium and had 5 shots of vodka. Hmmm.:) Nice.:D Pretty cool.;) I liked it. It works!!:D Yeah, so, that was really nice for 20 minutes or so. Then I started thinking I hadn't eaten yet and I was really hungry. I had some eggs and toast. Within 20-30 minutes after that the buzz was gone.:( Like...holy sh*t, isn't there anything a person can take and still feel it even after eating??! God, anytime I eat I can't get high off anything, not even a buzz.
Then I was thinking, hey, next time I'll try 10mg and 10 shots and see how that is. Well...that was yesterday. And, well, uh...hee hee.......yeah, I started with 10mg and 8 shots. But, within the next hour or two, it got up to 30mg and 12-14 shots. LOL. Umm...yeah, it was good.:) I liked it. Seems to double the effect of alcohol. I've felt the same sometimes drinking a bottle or more of vodka (with 2-3 aspirin/codeine tablets). I'm a little disappointed with the strength of Valium. I mean...sometimes you see in movies someone drinks a lot or takes Valium and drinks with that and gets blurry vision and can't walk straight and is totally messed up. I've never experienced anything like that. I was out shopping. No problem riding my bike or walking around or anything. Valium and vodka is just pleasantly relaxing, that's all.:)
Well...okay, so...LOL...what if I were to confess not every single moment yesterday went perfectly smoothly. Ha ha, how many times do you think I fell off my bike or did something else embarrassing?:P Okay, yeah, well, no problems except in one store, my last stop, I opened the freezer door thing and I wanted something on the bottom. I bent down and somehow my feet slid out from under me and I fell on my ass.:P Some lady was standing right there offering to help me up. I said I was okay. Got up, bent down and it happened again. Plop. I fell on my butt. I think the floor was wet! Maybe someone just mopped...? The lady is offering again to help me up. I said I was fine. Got up, tried again, no problem. And, yeah, that's it, the only embarrassing thing that happened.
Well, too, then I came home and after drinking and shopping I usually eat and then fall asleep for 2 or maybe even 3 hours. This time I think I slept 4 hours. Oops. Then I was close to taking another pill or two. LOL. But...quite a debate was going on in my head. Like, uh...is that really wise. And isn't that how addiction starts. And if I already want 4 or 5 pills every time I try this, how many am I gonna want in a few weeks. Plus, jeez, I can't afford to be doing that! Anyway...got busy doing other things and the urge passed.
So...hmmmm, Valium is not quite at all as kickass cool as I was hoping but...a much better supplement to vodka than codeine! I'm very very pleased I finally have some!! I love my new cute lil blue pills.:) :D

June 12, 2008

Quote From "Memoirs Of A Geisha" (2005)

The heart dies a slow death
shedding each hope like leaves
until one day there are none
no hopes
nothing remains

June 6, 2008

Test Yourself: Which Type Are You?

I saw this stupid quiz thing in a free magazine for teens. It's...well, really ridiculous but it made me laugh.:D

It starts by saying...

The test is easy and quick. Put an X by the answer that matches you best and then count to see if you have mostly A's, B's, or C's.
(Personally, I think circling the letter for your answer is best!:) Yeah, so, go ahead and use a black marker on your computer screen.:) Okay...fine, you can write the letters down on a piece of paper if you want.;)

1. How do your nails look?
A) Painted black
B) Freshly trimmed
C) Artificial

2. When you turn on the TV, you watch...
A) I never watch TV. That's way too crude.
B) Sports
C) A music video channel

3. How do you end a text message?
A) Peace!
B) Gotta go
C) Hugzzz

4. How would you describe yourself?
A) I am different
B) I'm in good shape. I could beat anyone in the 100 meter dash.
C) I am hot and trendy

5. Your biggest dream?
A) World peace
B) To be in the Olympics
C) To have my own credit card and go crazy shopping

6. What do you do on a Saturday night?
A) Light candles and philosophize over life
B) Go to bed early so I'm ready for the big game on Sunday
C) Partyyy!

7. What is your favorite dish?
A) I eat ONLY ecologic vegetarian food
B) Tuna, bananas and protein bars
C) Coca-Cola Zero

8. What should happen on your dream date?
A) We drink herbal tea and read poems
B) We watch an ice hockey game
C) I get lots of compliments

9. Biggest idol?
A) Marilyn Manson
B) David Beckham
C) Paris Hilton

10. What do you fear most?
A) I am worried about global warming
B) I hate to lose
C) I'm afraid of running out of money

Results:
Mostly A's...
There is no doubt. You are the alternative type that doesn't want to be like everyone else. You are passionate about long discussions where you can air your opinions and you have a lot of them.
Remember: It's hard to be genuinely alternative when you look like all the others who are alternative.

Mostly B's...
You are the sporty type that is eager to set new records and win EVERYTHING you come in contact with. Therefore others probably see you as obsessed with training, training, training and dieting.
Remember: Sports is not everything. There really should be also time for having fun with your friends.

Mostly C's...
Busted! You are a genuine pop chick. When it comes to fashion, pop music and Hollywood's beautiful stars, you're on the beat. You have your finger on the pulse and know what's hot and what's not right now.
Remember: A real friend or boyfriend doesn't care if you wear designer clothes.
--------------------------------------------------

So, which one are you?
Wanna guess which type I am?:P LOL. Well...I got one B, two A's and seven C's. LOL. I'm totally not kidding those times when I say I should've been a girl!:) For real!!:P (My life would've been sooo different. Happier. Sigh...)

May 30, 2008

Codeine and Vodka Adventure nr.6 and 7

Just real quick to keep U updated.;) LOL.
And, oh my God, why does every time have to be so different than the time before?! It's like...being blindfolded and eating mixed chocolates from a box. You just never know what you're gonna get 'til you put it in your mouth and try it.

Adventure nr.6: Codeine gets you constipated.:S That you can count on! I already have problems with that sometimes (prob'ly from the aspirin/codeine I was taking before I learned about extracting the codeine) and sometimes take pills for that. I've been taking more but apparently not enough. I barely pooped at all in 3 or 4 days and felt all backed up. I woke up with an uncomfortable stomach. It was bubbling and gurgling away. Then, along with the codeine and vodka, I drank too much fluids and too much stuff to try and prevent a stomach ache that I...threw up.:S A little. Three times.:S The codeine I had and the 7 shots of vodka I had up 'til then turned out to be a complete waste. I didn't know how much of what I barfed up so I didn't know how much more to take. Besides, I didn't have time to make another batch of codeine. I had to go. Five minutes or so after I left...I realized I felt completely sober and completely nOt high.:S Total freakin' F***, piss, sh*t!!!

Adventure nr.7: I told myself just don't throw up. Everything will be fine. Just don't throw up!;) And I didn't.
The codeine made me feel jittery and energetic again this time. Darn. I was hoping for that great calm feeling like when I tried it the fifth time. I was expecting to feel pretty good after some vodka. But I just didn't feel it so much. I had 8 shots. I stopped at 8 'cause my stomach wasn't feeling good and I didn't want to risk throwing up. I was out for a couple of hours or so, came back and just about finished a whole bottle of vodka. I was feeling alright. Just kinda calm and alright, not really high, not as relaxed as other times. It was disappointing.:S I went back out, did a little more shopping, came home, had dinner, slept for a couple of hours and then I wasn't tired. Kinda lazy but not tired. Stayed up 'til 4 or 5am.

And today is apparently big pooping day for me.:P Yay!!:D Oh my God, finally!!!:)

May 27, 2008

Uh Huh, Codeine and Vodka Adventure nr.5! :P

Okay, the highlights...
While I'm drinking the codeine stuff, I'm wondering why I use that much water. I've been using a small glass of water for the extraction on every 10 tablets. I'm gonna do it all in one small glass next time 'cause, see, a minute after I drank that stuff down, I'm thinking "that stuff is wicked icky gross, man!" I laughed out loud a couple of times over that. Then I wondered "am I gettin' loopy already?" No, too soon. Just goofy hopeful anticipation, I guess. I forget about it and continued getting myself ready to get to a meeting, a meeting which got cancelled.:S
About 25 minutes in, I noticed the effects. It was calming. Really nice. Beautiful.:) I sensed a bit of the pleasure I've read about when people take more intense opiates like heroin or morphine. I wished codeine was much stronger so I could experience that intense kind of high but at least I got a general idea of what it might really be like to take something more powerful. I began thinking of it as "my happy drink." :o)
I had really taken the time to stir the mixture yesterday and try my best to get the powder to dissolve. I sorta forgot about that last time. I think I only stirred it 4-5 times. I remember being surprised how much of the white sludge there was left over after I filtered it. It seemed a little too much.
There was no jittery feeling this time. Based on what I experienced before, I was actually expecting to feel something like an energetic caffeine boost or something, a real sense of alertness and energy, but...it wasn't like that this time. I'm thinking of dropping my suspicion this stuff will always act as an upper on me. I also think this was the strongest high yet I've gotten off codeine. It wasn't at all as spacey as before, no euphoria, just more pleasurable.:) Quite calm. Quite relaxing.
After 5 shots of vodka I was thinking, like, wOw, I've never felt this good off just 5 shots!:) This is pretty awesome.:D
After 10 shots I was thinking...I don't know if I've ever been this high before. This is definitely in the top 5 of all time. Hee hee.:D (But I was still wishing with all my heart I had some Valium or weed or something else to add to it.)
Was on time for the supposed meeting. Stupid thing was cancelled. Went to a store to go see about a part I ordered for my treadmill. Again. I've been waiting for it for weeks. Now they say they can't get the part.:S I didn't think they could get it. It's just...a real bummer to know for sure now and have no hope.:( I may be stuck with using my older junky treadmill 'til I get a new one. Or the part. Which is very doubtful. Damn. F***. One little part goes wrong and...the whole thing is completely useless. Long story. Anyway...
Got a couple things at the supermarket, came home, ate, read the news, slept for a couple of hours. Woke up all sweaty in the middle of some crazy ass dream.
Uh huh, now it's clear why I write about this. It's the most exciting thing I got goin' on. LOL.
Well, hey, maybe I should enjoy it before over the counter aspirin/codeine tablets get taken off the market here. That's what the government in Denmark does with anything fun...they call it illegal and stop selling it. Or just never start selling it. I've mentioned this before. Like, all those cough syrups, all those great cold and flu medicines in U.S.A. don't even exist here. Not even by prescription. Although they're not illegal, you can't even get poppy seeds or morning glory seeds in the supermarkets. Once, I found a gardening center on the internet here that sells the seeds in bulk but other than that I haven't seen 'em being sold anywhere. I've never even tried it. Caffeine tablets are illegal. Diet pills are illegal. A lot of the health supplements you can get in U.S.A. are illegal here. Other countries can't even get the approval to sell vitamins here. There's not much at all available. What is available is made here and it's wildly expensive. In fact, generally, the selection of items in supermarkets here is quite limited compared to other countries because the government has such strict rules about what gets approved to be sold to the public.
I'm driving myself bonkers daydreaming about how to get my hands on Valium. And/or Xanax. Sigh. Forever a daydream. (Such things do actually exist here but...getting a prescription is pretty well impossible. The doctors here all say everyone and anyone who takes that sort of stuff WILL get addicted. What a bunch of wild total bullsh*t!!! That's just like saying anyone and everyone who drinks WILL become an alcoholic or anyone who smokes a few cigarettes will be addicted. Like, uh, doc, did ya really got to school, do you really have a brain? I know, I know, ya all share the same retarded brain. That's how come you all agree.:P )
So...see, codeine and vodka.......pretty wild stuff, man!:P Better enjoy it while I can.:)

May 25, 2008

Codeine and Vodka Adventure nr.4

:o)
Yes, I'm going to write in increasing detail everything about my first...what, maybe 100 times trying this.;) :P Ha ha...
So, Saturday (yesterday), I tried it again real late afternoon. I was doing housework kind of stuff and getting generally irritated about all the chores that need to get done. It's not exactly fun spending most of the day on that, so......yeah, hmmmm, why not make things more pleasant.:) LOL.
Had some codeine ready in the refrigerator. Extract from 20 pills. Drank that. The effects came after about 15 minutes. From what I've read, codeine is supposed to be relaxing but from what I've experienced, especially this fourth time, I'd call it an upper! Jeez, I was wired, man, like, dude, pretty well sprung I must say. Holy cow! This time not only my hands felt a little jittery, my whole body did. Then...I don't know, a half hour or so after I took it, my blood sugar level kinda...well, crashed. Sh*t!! I knew I'd prob'ly mess things up but I had to...I ate a few spoonfuls of jam, I had some strawberry yogurt, I made some ridiculously chocolatey chocolate milk and I had a sandwich. Felt better but still kinda slightly trembly all over and full of energy. This wasn't the reaction I imagined or anticipated. Then I began with the shots of vodka. Had 7 shots but was so slow about it. Way too slow. I guess in the back of my mind I was thinking it's already screwed up, it doesn't matter, just go slow and see if the vodka even does anything. Prob'ly took 15-20 minutes on that. I felt calmer but...the high was really really disappointing compared to last time, only around half as good. No feeling of euphoria this time either. That's why I stopped at 7 shots. It wasn't getting me anywhere. Figured it best to save it for another time. I could barely feel anything at all from the vodka and the codeine wasn't at all as good as before.
Has my body adapted that fast to codeine? Was it that I didn't gulp and bang those shots down one after the other real fast like I usually do? Was it that I didn't plan this and have an empty stomach and be purposely dehydrated for this? I think a combination of all that. Mostly I think eating really screwed it all up. Of course, I had breakfast, I had a couple sandwiches in the early afternoon, I knew the high wouldn't be as good as last time but then...to eat right in the middle of it. Damn. I know whenever I eat I won't feel the vodka. Even if I drink too much of anything else I won't feel the vodka at all. I got a reminder of that just this week. I drank around a liter and a half of iced coffee. Then I downed 7 shots of vodka, one right straight after the other. (Okay, my usual sip or two of fruit juice inbetween shots.) And...nothing.:S Didn't feel a freakin' thing. That's why I almost always always plan when I'm gonna drink. I have to or it doesn't work. Then I really try not to eat for at least 12 hours before and try not to really drink any fluids. (A glass of something is okay, a few sips here and there but not more.) I'm pretty freakin' positive eating has the same effect on codeine too. Oh yeah, and I make sure to get a good workout in the night before I drink.
Anyway, well, it was still better than nothing and it did make the rest of the afternoon and early evening a little nicer. One effect that didn't change was I still got tired about 2-3 hours after. Stayed awake to have dinner the then slept for a couple of hours. LOL. After I got up, I finished the last of everything I wanted to get done yesterday and did my workout. (Well...most of my workout.;)
I hope the high is better next time. It kinda didn't work this time. Almost not worth it. It should be planned. Eating totally messes it all up.:S

May 23, 2008

Sooo Horny! :P

Last night I was sooo horny! I was sitting in front of my computer and started reading sex stories and confessions, then looked at pictures briefly, videos mostly. I sat in the chair here and masturbated for at least 3 hours. Without even cumming. And when I did, when I couldn't hold back anymore, wOw, total wet squirting sexy splashing explosion all over my stomach!:)

If I had a girlfriend.......oh my God, I'd totally so f***in' wear that lil pussy out!!!!:P :D And when she's too sore to f***, well, she'll just have to stay naked and let me cum all over her. I really believe I can give a girl a cum bath all by myself.:D I'm sooooo horny. I just want to be naked and in orgasmic ecstasy all the time.:P

I just masturbated again for over an hour. Some days I spend several hours masturbating.:) Some days I have so many orgasms I've lost count.:D

Sigh.

I cannot even begin to describe how bad and how much I need to be fucked and all the things I'm willing to do and try.

Sigh.

I'm sooo horny!!

May 22, 2008

My Third Adventure With Codeine

I know, I know, like...am I gonna write about anything else this year besides vodka and codeine? LOL.

Today was my third time taking codeine after doing the cold water extraction thing on some over the counter pills. I stuck to my plan this time of trying only 20 tablets. And, like I mentioned before, each tablet has 9.6 mg codeine and they say you can get 90-95% extracted from over the counter aspirin with codeine pills.

Now I think I really have the technique down. The first couple of times I rushed the filtering process. I'm embarrassed to say I did dumb things like...holding the filter up, shaking it a little, gently squeezing the water through. And, well, that's definitely not the way to do it. The final solution was still slightly cloudy, even after settling, and with a very thin layer of white sludge at the bottom. This time I used two coffee filters instead of one and just let it drip through on its own. I did that last night. The final solution was clear like water, the way it's supposed to be! And it wasn't quite as bitter tasting as before.

The first time I tried this codeine thing, it didn't seem to me at all like I could get high off codeine alone. The second time I started drinking vodka before I could find out what codeine alone could do. This time I waited with the vodka for about 45 minutes or so. Today was my third and definitely best experience with codeine I've had. Yeah, you can get high off codeine alone. It was similar to having several shots of vodka (I'd say around seven shots) on an empty stomach but...without the drowsiness. In fact, my hands were just slightly jittery. I was a bit buzzed and spaced out yet still quite alert. There was something else different with this too. I didn't even know what to call it at first because alcohol doesn't really have that effect. After a few minutes I realized the word is euphoria! A sense of well-being. It was pleasant.:) I was feeling...pretty pleased with myself.:D

I actually debated whether or not I really wanted to drink vodka too. I decided the codeine was kinda different and nice but...like vodka alone, just not strong enough. So, I started with 5 shots of vodka. Aha, then a bit of drowsiness set in. The faint jittery feeling in my hands disappeared. Also...the high was stronger, more dreamy, heading in the right direction.;) So, I had 3 more shots of vodka. Then 2 more. It was tempting to down several more. I was feeling pretty good!! But...I know if you try too hard to chase the high, you'll only get sick.:S I thought I'd better leave it at 10 shots and see how things go. Well...things went pretty freakin' nice!:) LOL. I was feeling a bit euphoric, yet calm, very pleased and comfortable with myself, quite relaxed. I left to go shopping. While I was out, several times I smiled to myself and thought "just enjoy the ride". :o)

Came home an hour and a half or so later. The high was even stronger. Also the drowsiness. I slept for 2 hours, woke up, the buzz was pretty much gone but, hey, I didn't feel the need to sleep anymore and there was no stomach ache like last time, no nausea, no bad side effects other than a dry mouth and feeling kinda lazy. (Okay, I admit I was scared of getting a stomach ache like last time so with the vodka and codeine, I also drank a glass of water with a few drops of peppermint oil and a glass of water with some fizzy powder stuff for indigestion. I also use more water for the extraction process than they say to use. And to make sure I wouldn't get dehydrated, which could lead to a stomach ache as well, I also had a cup and a half of fruit juice, a cup of iced coffee awhile before anything and half a glass of Diet Coke at the end.:)

I'm thinking now that the bad side effects I had last time were from too much aspirin because I didn't filter it right. It's important not only to take the time to let it cool down gradually but not to rush the filtering either. Jeez, I was so anxious to try it that I drank it still slightly cloudy. LOL. How embarrassing. Well, I'll never do that again.

Anyway, as things are lookin' now...I really like codeine with vodka.:)

May 21, 2008

Codeine

I'm aware my blog this year isn't as funny or as entertaining as previous years. What can I say. Sorry. More details on that another time. That being said...

For the last year or more I usually took 2 or 3 tablets of some combo aspirin/codeine/magnesium tablets before drinking. Some sources say it helps you feel the effects of alcohol stronger and/or longer. I've heard of people taking a lot more of those pills but...I've also read plenty about taking too much aspirin. From what I've read, an overdose of aspirin would not be any kind of fun at all. So, I don't think I ever took more than 4 or 5 of those pills. I used to occasionally daydream and wonder if there was a way to get the codeine out. That's the stuff I really want! And, well, not so long ago I was just surfing around on the net reading about codeine. I saw mention of a cold water extraction technique but didn't check it out right away. I figured it would just be another one of those things that was too difficult for me to understand like...how to make my own moonshine. I'd like to do that but from what I've read it seems too complicated. I'd need someone to help me out and show me. I'd like to make my own ecstasy tablets but...again, seems too complicated and I doubt the ingredients are easy to get ahold of.
Then about a week ago I decided to really check that out, if it was possible to separate the aspirin and codeine. Guess what? Hee hee. It is! It's easy too. Oh my God, finally!! Finally something I can understand and play with.:) (Just Google something like "codeine extraction from aspirin" if you don't know about this and want to find out more.;)
So, I've tried it twice now. The over the counter pills I can get here have 9.6 mg codeine per tablet. I used 10 tablets the first time. I've read you can get 90-95% of the codeine by extracting it with water and a filter. Then you drink it. I read the effects should happen within 7-15 minutes. Yeah, around 10 or 15 minutes after I tried it the first time, I felt it. Very mild. I'd say the same for me as having 3 or 4 shots of vodka on an empty stomach. A slight buzz, just enough to notice something but that's it. I then tried the extraction process on another 5 tablets and drank that. But I was making dinner too and that was almost done. I had spaghetti that night. Eating took the buzz away. So, I figured next time I need to take it on an empty stomach and with vodka. Yesterday was that day.
I did the extraction thing the day before on 20 tablets. It was just sittin' in the refrigerator waiting. I had to be somewhere on time though and had to go soon. I couldn't hang around just to see what effect the codeine alone would have. I drank the codeine stuff, then 10 shots of vodka. I left not long after. I felt actually more alert than usual but at the same time slightly more spaced out.:)
I came home an hour and a half later. I don't remember what I was thinking. I just wanted to get high if at all possible and vodka never gets me where I want to be but now...now I have this new thing to try. So, I crushed up 20 more tablets and went through the extraction process quickly. I drank that, had a couple more shots of vodka and left again. Where? Ha ha, to the pharmacy to get more tablets.:P No, I didn't use any more. Yet. Relax.:) Then I came home again and slept on the couch through late afternoon. I woke up but was still kinda tired. I was up briefly, went to bed and slept a couple more hours.
I woke up and...something was off about my hearing. It was too quiet. I felt like I had ear plugs in my ears. I checked. No ear plugs. I snapped my fingers by each ear. Yeah, I could still hear but......it didn't sound quite right. I sat up. I felt like my head was stuffed with cotton candy. I got up and wandered around a bit. I couldn't really hear myself walking. It was like if there was a sound equalizer in my head, the treble was turned off. Sounds weren't crisp and clear anymore. Everything was bizarrely quiet. Far away sounds didn't seem to exist anymore. It was pretty weird. I kinda liked it though. (Possibly a side effect of too much aspirin. I had done the extraction carefully on the first 20 tablets, maybe not so much on the second batch.) The thing I didn't like was the stomach ache I had. And nausea. I was worried at some points here and there I'd need to vomit. That bag of barbeque potato chips I ate in the early afternoon was seeming like a colossal mistake. Like, oh my God, why didn't I stick with my original plan and get just a candy bar?! A whole big bag of chips??! Totally gross!!:S Any food seemed totally gross. I had a dry mouth too, which I've read is a side effect of codeine. I knew I'd be dehydrated and drinking something didn't seem too totally gross. I drank 2 liters of my iced coffee.:) Later that evening I had a sandwich for dinner. I think it made my stomach ache worse.
I was going to workout last night. I started doing my warm up anyway and it took forever to get anywhere with that. Finally, I decided I was a little too tired. The biggest problem though was the stomach ache I had. Oh my God, it was...bad.:S I took a shower, watched TV for an hour and a half and went back to bed.
Woke up this morning and felt fine. My hearing is normal and no more stomach ache. Yay!:D
I think that's the last time I'll ever try 40 pills again. Too many, I guess. Plus I read some stuff today saying if you're gonna take codeine, to get the best high, you have to get it all down fast and something about it doesn't do any good to take more a half hour later, for example. I also read today where some guy was saying he took 30 mg of codeine and had a few drinks and got totally freakin' messed up. LOL. He said it was alright for a few hours and then it was horrible. LOL. Especially the stomach ache. LOL. Oh well...some people don't react well to some things. I've read it's best to start low and go higher instead of taking a high dose of something you don't even know how your body will react to.
I figure, even if I'm not doing the extraction thing perfectly yet, I must've for sure had over 300 mg of codeine yesterday. (Possibly around 350 mg.) 40 pills was too much, I think. LOL. I'll try and stick with 20 next time. And I don't think I'll ever go over 30 again.
Now.......if I could just finally get some weed.:D Mmmm, and Valium!!! Xanax.:) Vicodin. (Those pills are easy to get in U.S.A. but not where I live.:S ) I'd even do the big H. Wouldn't that be, like, the best way to die...just sort of coast out of this world in a joyous foggy relaxing beautiful overdose of heroin...? Well..........I mean, I haven't had sex in a zillion centuries, so...yeah, basically pretty much all I wanna do is get reallllllly high and drop dead. Well, pass out.
Anyway...um, like, well, have a good day or night or whatever it is.:)

May 11, 2008

The Movie I Watched Last Night

First, I watched the latest episode of Lost. Then I picked a movie to watch. I always have a few movies on my computer downloaded and try to always have a few ready on disc. I picked Elizabethtown. Actually, I had downloaded this one months ago. I wasn't sure I would like it. The only reason I wanted to see it is 'cause Kirsten Dunst is in it. And, well, I figured I'd finally watch it just to get it out of the way and erase it.

The movie surprised me. It was actually good!:D Some stuff the male character was going through I can really relate to. (Although in my case, it's much more serious. More on that another time but keep reading and you'll get the general idea.) That was funny to watch. And I've seen plenty of unflattering paparazzi photos of Kirsten but, wOw, when she's on screen...she looks so beyond amazing and she totally rOcKs at what she does!!!! Anyway, well, halfway through the movie I got all depressed and restless at the same time wondering why can't I meet a girl like that. Some movies do that to me. It was gettin' on to 3am but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep with all that...stuff in my head. I mean, God, reality sUcKs. Thinking sucks! Life sucks. Vodka time!!;) Perfect. I had an empty stomach. It'd work.:) But I didn't wanna go too crazy with shots 'cause I knew all I'd do is go to sleep after the movie. Seems like a waste when I have a lot to do next week and I should save the three and half bottles I have 'til then.

I tried 4 quick shots. Watched a couple more minutes. Um, helpful but not enough. So, I paused the movie, went back in the kitchen and had 3 more shots. That seemed to be just enough. I enjoyed the rest of the movie, even laughed out loud a few times. Then went to bed.

I woke up this morning thinking about it again. That girl in the movie. I just wanted to wake up with her, lie in her arms and have her never let me go. (Okay, I also had some more, uh, you know, ummm, hot naked get down and dirty sweaty wet physical thoughts, but.....I won't get into the details.;) Oh my God, I need that. A woman's touch. To feel her beautiful smooth sweet skin against mine, touch her soft shiny hair, look into her pretty eyes...have someone to goof around with and laugh with. It's been way too long. WAY too long.

May 9, 2008

Vodka Shots

How and why did I go this long only using one shot glass? I don't know. Anyway, it's a fancy shot glass but I was tired of it and wanted a new one. So, around a week ago when I got a new blender, I looked at shot glasses. I saw something I liked well enough but it comes in a set of 6. My first thought was, like, "but I only need one." I looked at the price. Oh! Okay.:) Only, like, 4 dollars.
So, I've tried them out a couple times now. And, like, why didn't I do this long ago?! Holy cow, man, it's so cool!!:D Just set 'em up in a row, fill 'em and it's so easy and much more encouraging to drink all those shots down one after the other. Hee hee. Hell, yeah! Like, you know, one or two shots every five minutes or whatever doesn't really do it. I've been forgetting speed counts, not just having an empty stomach. You need to get those shots down as fast as possible. And lots of 'em!!!;) :) (Some sources say non-prescription aspirin with codeine tablets help you get more wasted, so I take that about a half hour before I start drinking.)
Okay, first, these new shot glasses are a little bigger than the one I was using. Used to be 12 shots was half a bottle. Now 10 shots is clearly over half a bottle. LOL. So, the last couple of times I did 10 shots within 10 minutes or so and that did the trick.:)
But it's faster than I'm used to, I guess. The first time I did that...I went out, had a meeting (someone said something about I wasn't looking well), did a little shopping, came home, took off my clothes and fell asleep on the bed. When I woke up around an hour and a half later, my ankle was sprained and something burned and had turned all black in the oven.:S
I don't remember doing anything to sprain my ankle. I think I was so tired I fell asleep with my foot in a bad position. Sh*t! I couldn't walk for about 2 days.
Yesterday I was out shopping. My foot is still all swollen up and bruised but I can walk on it. I don't know yet at all when I'll be able to get back to running again. And, yeah, so, I did my shots before I left. 11 or 12 shots. I don't remember. Then I came home, had a few more shots and left again. I don't remember how many. Finished off one bottle and a second one was almost gone.
I don't have a car. So, nothing to worry about with that. In fact, I've never ever driven a car after drinking. I live in a small town now and I get around by bike. Anyway, about...oh, 7 maybe 8 minutes after I left I fell down. I don't remember exactly how or why. It was something to do with a turn and/or braking. And I fell on my ass and banged up my other ankle. F***ing sh*t! My ankle was bleeding and one hand but I didn't even notice then. Just got back on my bike and went shopping. My favorite bracelet got a little scraped too.:( I ordered another one today. Luckily, it's not that expensive.
Last night I was thinking if there was a caricature or cartoon of me...it'd be me falling on my ass or passed out somewhere. LOL.
Have I learned my lesson? Um, well...gee, ummm, got a couple more bottles of vodka yesterday. Does that answer the question. LOL. I'll just have to remember to be more careful! It was just a bad week. Usually nothing like that happens. Another time or two trying out my new shot glasses and it won't be such a big deal anymore.;) I'm used to drinking, it's just I've never done shots quite so fast before.
Today I was thinking if there was a caricature or cartoon of me...it'd be me naked and masturbating constantly. LOL. After a day of being too out of it to masturbate...I sure have plenty of orgasms the day after!

April 26, 2008

Gilmore Girls Got Cancelled. :S :(

I know, I know, this is news from a year ago but I just found out today. Gilmore Girls got cancelled. I live in Denmark now and the American programs that get shown here are always behind. (It's only recently I've discovered how to download TV shows and see them the same week they get aired in U.S.A.) I miss that show!

It's been months since I saw the last episode. I almost wrote something in my blog about it because it was such an emotional episode. It was so touching how everyone cares so much about Lorelai. I cried. Also because I realized how much I really truly care about her too. I thought it was just a season ending episode. I had no idea it was actually the last one! I've been waiting patiently for the next season to start. And I'm tired of waiting so I finally got around to checking on the net when the next season would start here and...I find out it's gone, the show got officially cancelled a year ago! Holy sh*t!!:(

First, I was just plain shocked. Then...well, there were some tears.:( I admit, I cried. Briefly. More than once today.:( I don't want to believe it. I really with all my heart LOVE that show!!!! Don't go. Please, please don't go. F***. :S

All my fav shows are disappearing too fast. It's too much lately. It was only late last year I found out The Sopranos is gone. Then very recently I found out The L Word is only going for one more season and Lost is only going 2 more seasons. Gilmore Girls is already long gone!:(

Lorelai Gilmore is one of the very most wonderful, funny, amazing and sexiest characters ever on TV! And I am completely sure no one could possibly make that part so fresh and alive and unique and interesting as Lauren Graham did. I totally lOvEd and looked forward to her performance on that show so so much! Lauren totally rOcKeD that show and made it something magic. It was definitely one of the very very best things that will ever be on television!! I feel like one of my best closest friends just died. Not that I have a best friend right now or ever had one that died but...I think this is what it feels like.:(

It's gonna take me some time to...readjust, try and get over the shock, somehow learn to accept it. I like to write but I don't even know where to begin to praise the writers and especially Lauren for her work on that show. It's beyond words how well that show was written and what Lauren did with that part. I couldn't possibly say enough how much it all meant to me.

I will always remember. Always! And I am going to miss it forever and ever.:(

April 16, 2008

The Neighbor War Goes On and...Life Sucks. :S

This whole neighbor problem I've written about keeps going on and on. I'm nOt in a good mood most of the time. (I'm worried my face will freeze in a permanent frown.) More stuff has happened. And I was about to crack and do something major. It's been better just the last few days though. I can think more clearly and rationally. But I'm not expecting it will stay better. I want them to move sooo bad. I want them f***ing gone!!! That would make my life SO MUCH better and more pleasant. The whole building would be SO quiet without them! I hope they plan to move but right now I don't know anything about whether they want to move or not. I've sure done a lot to get them to think in that direction anyway.
This whole thing has got me thinking. Too much. About my life. Am I in the right place? Do I want to move? Is my life here where I live really working out for me? What are the chances I'll meet a girl in this tiny town, anywhere in this tiny country, and ever be happy anyway? Things are pretty bad, I guess, if you wake up every morning only frustrated, irritated and sorry you have to wake up to a new day. Once again!:S And, yeah, I know, pretty ridiculous these new neighbors have the power, stumbled upon the button, to push my psychological state over the edge.
My future in U.S.A. was looking completely bleak and horrible. I moved here. Things were better and continued to get vastly better every single year. And, yes, the years I've lived here in Denmark have definitely been so way WAY better than in U.S.A. but...although I've reached levels of contentment I've never known before...I'm still not happy. And the odds are decreasing rapidly or so it seems. I probably should move to a larger city at least. Maybe another country. Maybe go back to U.S.A. and give that one last shot. Or have I, like, actually totally freakin' lost my mind and forgotten why I left? Forgotten what it's like not to have the money I have now? (I get used to good things real fast.) I must've lost my mind if I'm considering going back to U.S.A. I have to remember I can't go back. Ever. Unless...I could for sure get as much or more money than I get now. (Which isn't all that much but way more than I ever got before coming here.)
Really, I could skip on rent, some other bills, borrow money, sell stuff. I could get enough money to move to another country and make it a month or two (maybe more) without working. You know, one last try at life, at happiness, at finding a place I belong, a place that feels like home.
Anyone ever read my blog?:P Anyone have any ideas? Anyone have a job for me? (Nudity is not a problem.:) Anyone want me to stay with them? Anyone rich want to offer me a home and take care of me?:P :D :) Like, yeah, especially if you live by the beach. LOL. A lake? Ummm...somewhere with a big private lawn at least? Do you have a pool?!:D Oh my God, I've always wanted to live at a big house that has a pool!:) Seriously, I'm clean, I like housework, I cook, I like shopping. You could watch me masturbate every day if you want.:P And/or something more. (Ha ha, yes, I admit it, my dream is to be a housewife.:)
Are these all thoughts that are supposed to just stay in my head? Should I be writing any of this. Hmmmmm. (I try my best not to write anything when I'm down or upset.)
Okay, yeah, well...I'm open to suggestions or offers. Just wanted to let that be known.;) (This doesn't mean I'd go for anyone or anything but...I'm just.......unattached and, yep, open to offers.:)
Any hot actresses need a personal assistant?:) A sex slave...?:P Anyone with a mansion need a live-in housecleaner? I could do it nude if you want!:D
ROFLMAO. Yeah, right, like this is ever gonna work.:P :D
(But, like...come on, therez got 2 B some1 who thinks I'm sexy enough and funny enough, someone somewhere that wants me...??)

March 22, 2008

Noisy Neighbors...Drop F*ing Dead!!!**

I spoke too soon with what I wrote last.
That old fart is back to pissing me off with his f***ing TV again.:/ And I've discovered it's not just him, like I was pretty sure of before, it's his ugly fat gross looking wife too. Things went okay for that one week I talked about last time. I was actually quite hopeful. Then my thoughts moved back to, like, see, you just can't talk to people who are that disrespectful, inconsiderate and rude. The best that'll happen is they'll remember for a few days or a week and then...they don't care anymore.
Time for move number too. And, by the way, I was planning to write about some of this around a week ago but then decided it was too negative and I didn't want to go into it. I don't want to be writing about this. It's not exactly a fun subject. But...this thing keeps going on and on and it's what's on my mind all the time now. I wanted my second move to be immediate, not some plan that would take days to go into effect. So...it was the ol' dump a bucket of pee on their welcome mat. (I've used this one a few times before on some other noisy neighbors I had a few years ago.) Ha ha, and he has a big giant light colored one. Expensive.
About 8pm the next night, I heard a letter coming through the mail slot on my door. I'm thinking, that's strange, it's not gonna be mail. I doubt anyone is passing around some kind of advertising this late. Something to do with the guy downstairs...? I went to see what it was. Yep, it was from downstairs, from my new neighbors who are the people on the planet right now I truly hate and most want to see dead.
It was a copy of the letter he got back from the rental office about his lame bullshit defense and vague complaints about other neighbors. He passed it out to everyone here.
The office wrote to him saying they won't do anything about his complaints because any complaint requires at least 2 signatures from neighbors in 2 different apartments in the same building. Then the case or complaint can get set to go on as some kind of court case. They also wrote the letter/complaint he received was a fake made from an older letter. Dammit! So, he knows. He knew for almost a week before passing out the copy. I was so hopeful because I thought if he was gonna do that, he would've done it sooner.
Did him passing that out have something to do with the pee? Did he know about the pee before he passed that copy out? Is that why he did it? Or did he only maybe see it after that because that's the first time he'd been out the door in a couple days? Or...are these people so old and dumb that they just totally didn't even notice the pee? That's what I was wondering that night.
I was prepared to do something else that night but...it was reasonably quiet the rest of the night. I decided to back off, see how it goes, give them a chance.
And guess what? Here we are at present...six or seven buckets or bottles of piss later (around 8-10 liters), a note to make sure he knows what this is about, a few C.O.D. packages ordered in his name, a couple newspaper subscriptions, a couple magazine subscriptions and...I've now smeared shit (yes, for real, actual poop!) around on his car. Twice!! The second time was last night. (The first time all over half the windows. The second time I made shit paste. Mmm, yummy stuff, man. Ingredients: poop, egg, oil, syrup, glue. I was gonna put oatmeal in it too but forgot. A little of that went on the windows of the car but most of it went on the body. I mean, in a few areas. I only had so much of it for the whole car. And, oh my God, do you have any idea how pissed off someone would have to be to think this up and actually do it? I'm talkin' WAY super duper seriously cRaZy MAD!) Plus I let a lot of air out of 3 of his tires the second time. Guess I was too lazy to do all four. Well, too, I figured he'd try and drive it. I was guessing 3 very low tires plus one full one would make it extra difficult. I was hoping at least one tire was flat enough to make driving impossible but...I was overly nervous about what I was doing, it was dark when I did it and he seemed to be able to drive just fine. Darn. He moved his car down the street after the first time. But I saw it there yesterday. Great...parked in a nice isolated dark area. Easy to get to and do my thing with nobody around. Much less risky than the first time. (I'm not sure where he has his car parked now though. But I'm sure I could find it if I really wanted to.)
And he may even suspect or know that it's me. Something minor on my bike was readjusted the other day. It wasn't loose. It would've taken a tool to do it. Very likely a nod to let me know he knows it's me. He could've slashed my tires or something. I'm not gonna give him that chance again though. So...I'll have to take my bike up and down the stairs and keep it in my apartment from now on. Sigh. I saw him coming out of the bike storage shed today with what I think was an oily rag in his hand. Like, holy sh*t and thank God my bike isn't in there anymore! I wonder what the hell he did in there today.
What will it take for him to get the message??!!! Just keep the f***ing TV down, that's all! He doesn't listen. He doesn't get it. The best that happens is he might remember for a few hours or half a day maybe. But then...he forgets or just doesn't care anymore. How stupid is this guy?! Both of them!! There are two of 'em down there and they don't have the brains or memory or will power to keep the TV down for more than a few hours?
It's getting harder to think of things I could do to mess with him/them yet keep it so the police won't be interested. And I never would've imagined I'd go this far over some old couple. I thought old people were supposed to be quiet and no trouble. I used to hope and pray to get old people in the building. And what happens. This old couple turns out to be the most stupid noisy f***ing awful neighbors I've ever had!!!!
Of course, I question myself. Am I being unreasonable. Is my patience shorter now because of troubles with previous neighbors I've had to deal with. No, I don't think so. Anything other neighbors did...at least it wasn't every single day and every single night. This thing with these old people and their TV is daily! EVERY day! Every night!! Day after day, week after week. That f***ing TV is humming and yapping in my ear hour after hour after hour. I have to sleep with ear plugs and I still hear it sometimes. Sometimes it wakes me up. I have to wear earphones and a hearing protector just to watch something myself on TV without all that distraction from their TV. These people don't work. All they do is stay home and watch TV all day and all night! LOUD!!! Lately, the last 10 days or so, it's been on nonstop around 18-20 hours a day every day!
I don't care how much TV they watch. The point is...I don't want to hear it!!!!!! I can't stand that much f***ing noise every single day. It's some kind of torture that's breaking me. I don't know anything about how much TV the other neighbors watch or what they watch or when they watch it. Only them. I've never had a neighbor problem sooo bad like this before. Only them. That noise is driving me insane. And I feel there is no limit to how far I'd go to get back at them. I'm trying so hard not to lose it and do something that would get the police involved.
When I'm home and it's quiet, I'm in a good mood.:) Possibly happy even.:D But...every day now sucks because I know those f***ing old deaf retards will ruin every day and every night for me. About the only silence is just a few hours in the early morning that I sleep through. I have this sick feeling in my stomach all the time now. I don't sleep well. I worry all the time over how far does this have to go. I can't do this anymore. I just want it to stop.
As this war builds, I still have a slight hope he will understand soon he's not going to win. I won't stop. I won't give up. I'm not going to be the one to back down. If they wanna ruin every day for me, I'll try and ruin every day for them.
Even now...after discovering his car today, shit on it, having to do something about that once again, tires flat, pee poured right on his doorstep and having to do something about piss all over outside his door once again (he seems to have given up the idea of leaving the mat out)...the TV was reasonably quiet for a few hours today. But that's it. That's as long as it ever lasts. Now they turned it up as usual. And I know it's gonna be on all night. It's gonna be going 'til at least 2am, maybe 3 or 4 or even 5am. Then they sleep. Then the TV is back on. The maximum effect anything I do accomplishes is reasonable quietness for a few hours at most. What will it take for this to be over...?:S
Anyone wanna buy me a house?:D :P :) Pleeease...?

March 7, 2008

I Hate Noisy Neighbors!!! :S

I want to live in a house, no, a mansion on my own private beach. Very possibly on my own private island.:)
When I'm home, I love it when it's quiet! The more quiet the better. I want to be away from everything, in my own private world. I like it when the only sounds I hear are the noises I make. Such quiet is pure nirvana.:)
I know words like "hate" and "love" are heavy words and shouldn't be thrown around and used to describe everything and anything. I did take that into consideration and I do feel that strongly about this.
I like the apartment I live in. It's big. I put time into decorating and arranging everything. It's, well, actually the best place I've ever lived 'cause, although it's not a house, all the space here is mine.:) (As long as I pay the rent every month.)
What I don't like...are neighbors separated by only a wall or floor. They make noise...interrupting, breaking the blissful silence and my happy state of mind. I suppose most neighbors aren't bad. And Danish people, on average, are more polite and much more considerate than Americans. But...in a building like this, six apartments here, what are the chances all the neighbors are going to be quiet. There's always always at least that one...that pisses me off incredibly much. Loud music and parties, that's the worst. Nothing like that to totally ruin my night, stress me out and get me upset.
I was entirely convinced the worst that could happen when someone moves out is...some dumb ass young couple will move in to their first apartment here thinking now they can finally let loose and do everything their parents hated or wouldn't let them do. Now they figure they can have all the parties they want and blast music day and night. And, yeah, I've been through neighbors like that. So, back in December, when I saw an older couple was moving into the apartment under me, I was relieved. I was happy and completely confident they would be no problem. That lasted only a number of days.
No, I've never known old people to have lots of parties or play loud music. But...they are home all the time. And they like TV. And their hearing may not be so good. I hadn't thought of that.
First, the smaller annoyances. Doors opening and shutting loudly all the time. I'm assuming this is because old people like using the heat. They keep the doors shut everywhere to keep the heat in. But everytime they go to the bathroom or any different room, it requires opening and shutting doors a number of times. Ugh.:S Then...old dude pees quite loudly. It's like...I hear it every f***in' time. In the morning, at night, in the middle of the night. I'm sick of it. I really have absolutely no interest at all in knowing every time my neighbor pees! Other male neighbors I've had...yeah, I hear them sometimes, once in awhile, but not every time like this old guy. And, as for me, I never pee directly in the water. I can hear other guys peeing and...I like my privacy and do not want my neighbors knowing when I pee. That's...you know, a private thing. LOL.
The major problem is...old dude downstairs is crazy bananas about his TV. He watches it every single day and every single night. And he likes it LOUD! The first bunch of times he turned on the TV...my eyes sprang open wide, my jaw dropped and I'm thinking, "Are you kidding me?!!"
Sometimes, okay, he'd only watch it a couple of hours but normally he can watch 5, 10, even 15 hours a day. And I had to listen to it too. Every single day and every single night. LOUD! Like, party level loud. And I know it's him and not his wife because on those rare occasions I see him go out, I don't hear the TV. When he comes back, usually after only an hour or two, the TV is back on again.
In the evenings, I couldn't enjoy watching anything 'cause his TV is so LOUD! Some nights I don't watch anything. And if I did, I used earphones and a hearing protector. Generally, I workout in the evenings and I'd just wait 'til 1 or 2am, after he goes to bed, so then I can finally have some quiet and watch a show or something. Although, sometimes that got ruined 'cause...he doesn't sleep well. He prob'ly drinks coffee while he watches TV all night. I hear doors opening and shutting several times during the night. He pees. Then sometimes he'll go watch TV for awhile.:/
I'm patient. I kept trying to think positive. Like...it's Christmas vacation. So, he's home everyday and watches TV. After vacation, he'll go to work and everything will be fine. Then...it was, well, give him a little more time to settle in and figure out a routine and...then everything will be fine. But...it wasn't fine. Some days here and there weren't too bad but mostly, overall, the situation was just not improving at all. I was stressed out daily over it. It got to the point I was planning all kinds of evil things to get back at him and bring stress into his life. (Things I've done to get back at previous neighbors. And go even further this time.) I was having frequent violent thoughts about what I'd like to do to him and his f***ing TV!! I wished I knew a gang to go kick the crap outta him and tell him to knock it off. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore. I made my first move.
With my printer/copier and a bit of cut and paste work, I wrote a letter that looked like it came from the rental office. Had their color logo, business hours, address and a signature and all. It looked very real.:) I wanted it to be quite serious, a warning to shake him up a bit, make him listen for sure and behave. I wrote that there had been a lot of complaints from several neighbors over the last 2 months. I wrote that he was getting an official warning that if the complaints continue, they would have no choice but to submit the paperwork into the system where, in the end, any renter that disturbs others too much can be evicted. However, they were hoping a reminder that other people live in the building would be enough to solve the problem.
I wasn't sure if this would work. I wasn't counting on it. I had other plans in place. I figured when the other shit started raining down, he'd figure out what it was about and maybe then get the hint.
Well, he got the letter last Saturday. That was the quietest day since he moved in. It was beautiful!:) I was so happy.
The next morning I found a letter by my door. It was a copy of the letter I sent plus a copy of his response. It seems he got a little more freaked than I ever imagined he would be. Because he gave this copy of the letter I wrote and his response to all the neighbors in the building and says he sent it to the rental office as well. Like...oh sh*t!!! LOL.
Like, goddammit, he was supposed to just read my letter and behave, not send letters to everyone with some lame ass defense. Jeeeez. So, then I was worrying a lot that the rental office will tell him they don't know what he's talking about and never sent a letter. Then they might ask to see it and tell him it's a fake. Then...he'll just go back to blasting his TV again.
About now, you may wonder why I didn't actually make a complaint to the rental office. Like I said, I've had problems with neighbors before. I did try that a couple of years ago over some neighbors I truly f***ing hated with all my heart. Worst neighbors ever!!! I wrote up a 3 page complaint. They wouldn't take it. They didn't even want to look at it. I was told absolutely nothing whatsoever would happen about any complaint unless several neighbors got together and all signed and filed a group complaint.
You may wonder why I didn't just go talk to the guy downstairs. Well, in my experience, neighbors who are that desrespectful and noisy and so selfishly into themselves just do not listen.
In the guy's response to the warning letter he received, he says he has corrected the problem but he goes on about his right to having a life and why is there 24 hour cable TV if not to watch it. He claims he works in transportation all day and makes it sound like he works a lot of overtime and all he needs to watch is the weather forecast because it has to do with his job. LOL. Total bullshit! For instance, I know he hardly works at all!! He's pretty much home all the time. And his wife goes out even less. And as for making it sound like all he does is switch on the weather forecast for a few minutes...LOL. That's about the wildest bullshit I ever heard. Sometimes that TV has been on pretty much 18 hours straight, man.
Then he goes on mentioning a few complaints he'd like to make about some of the other neighbors. He says he's been overlooking things other neighbors do and can't get sleep because of it but from now on he'll report it. LOL. He doesn't write any names or apartment numbers though. LOL. I've been to the rental office. I know how much they care about complaints. I came in once with a long signed complaint complete with full names and the apartment number. The office didn't give a shit. I know there's no way they're gonna look into whatever he mentioned. (Of course, you'll never find a neighbor who says I make too much noise. I'm always, by far, the quietest neighbor.) Like, oh my God, everything he wrote was basically some drunken nonsense rambling.
Anyway, well, it's almost been a week now. The old guy downstairs has been so much quieter with his TV. Even the stuff with the doors hasn't been quite as bad lately. I'm not stressed out about it much anymore. I don't think he found out the letter I sent was fake. And if he hasn't found out by now, I guess he never will. Hee hee hee. :P I think either the rental office didn't give a hoot about what he wrote and just didn't bother with any response and/or...if someone there saw a copy of my warning letter, whoever saw it hopefully assumed it was real. And, well, if he did find out it was a fake, I guess he figures if someone went to that much effort, they must have a valid point.
It seems my plan, my first move, worked. I really really rEaLLy hope it has a lasting effect! The last 2-3 days, I've been noticing 5-20 minute intervals of forgetfulness, possibly increasing slip-ups here and there which I sincerely hope and pray won't keep getting worse and worse. All in all, for now at least, for this week, I'm quite pleased and satisfied.:D Not only that, but the message got around to everyone in the building to keep it down. Hee hee. And nobody knows what I did. Shhhhh. ;)
But...I know it won't last forever. Either old dude downstairs will gradually forget about the warning and/or at some point someone will move and new noise makers will move in. So...I still desperately want and dream of my own mansion on the beach. Or at least my own house somewhere someday. Sigh...

February 12, 2008

The Incredible Hulk...Is Green! :P

I was laying on the floor last night doing some sit-ups, back exercises, stretching my legs, getting ready for my run. And somehow, lying there always gets me in a sort of meditative state. Actually, I spend more time just kinda lying on the floor meditating than actually doing anything. My thoughts just go wild. I think of everything and anything. I often think up some quite silly things.
Anyway, so I was lying there and, like, suddenly it occurs to me that The Incredible Hulk is green!!!:P :D I was cracking up, man!:P He's green! LOL. How does that happen? When have you ever read or heard anything anywhere about someone turning green?!
Okay, the getting big and stretching and popping and ripping his clothes, I get that. But...green??! Pink might be more believable or red or splotchy blue black brown or orange even but...green???!! Like, Popeye The Sailor...hey, it would make more sense if he turned green maybe from eating all that spinach. But whoever heard of someone getting pissed off and turning green?
In the TV series...I mean, didn't people laugh watching some big green dude walking around?:P Hee hee hee. And then when I saw the movie from 2003, I don't remember even once questioning that he turns green. I just accepted it, like that was the way it was supposed to be. And...you know, like, didn't at least someone on the production crew laugh over making that whole big expensive movie about someone who gets upset, turns green and breaks stuff. LOL.
He turns green!:P

That totally f***ing cracked me up yesterday.:D

February 9, 2008

In The News Today: Denmark Is Grammatically Underdeveloped

"Danish people know by now so little about grammar, pronounciation and sentence structure that we have difficulty understanding each other.
The problem is the result of Danish grammar being given a low priority in school for decades. Another central problem is that many of TV's front figures, that today are our most important language role models, themselves are poor examples of language use," says Peder Skyum-Nielsen, professor at Syddansk University.
"Danish people's grammatic backbone is degenerating."

-------------------------

Ha ha ha. How true it is!:P

I'm so glad someone admits it. I'm usually wondering if Danish people even notice what's going on.
One thing I've found kinda shocking about Denmark is the number of grammatic mistakes that one comes across in magazines, newspapers and even letters from government offices. Never mind notes and e-mails Danish people write to each other and how they talk.
This is something different and unique about Danish culture. Things that are given very high priority in school and business are social skills and functions, time to relax and a comfortable atmosphere. And, well, although Danish people do come up at or near the very top of the list of countries with the most satisfied and happy citizens, the general level of professionalism, especially in the media, is not as high as in many other countries. (Second link here about the World Map Of Happiness.)

As for my opinion, I believe grammar should definitely have high priority for so many obvious reasons. Like, language is how people communicate and one needs to know it to use it. And how is that gonna look if you've lived your life in a particular country and can't even write or speak the language properly. How does that reflect on the country if no one could communicate anymore without grammatic mistakes. Most Danish people I've met are not grammatically accurate in writing or speaking. I've had people tell me my Danish writing ability is better than most Danish people. And I sure don't know all the grammatic rules.
Ha ha, so...maybe a century or two from now no one even knows enough of the country's language to understand each other anymore.
But the important thing is everyone had a nice chair and great table to sit at in school, the room was decorated with such elaborate consideration and everyone had plenty of time to socialize. Yeah, in cave man talk or something...:)...

(By the way, the Danish alphabet is actually the same as in English except...there are three more letters after "z". And they are "æ", "ø" and "å".:)

January 27, 2008

My Favorite Actresses

The beginning of an annual list perhaps.:)
This list is, well, almost exactly the same as last year. One new name in that I had forgotten. And the order is a little different. Although, like I said before, it's much too difficult to decide on the exact order (and I may be back during the year to rearrange them slightly.;) There are lOts more actresses I like but I'm really trying to keep this list short. So, yep...uh huh, here B my fav actresses...(and holy good God, these are some waaay hOt sexy babes!:)...

Michelle Trachtenberg (why her first? Hee hee...look at her. Oh my GOd!!!:), Evangeline Lilly (pure total out of this world sexiness and ability that truly blows me away), Kirsten Dunst (always brilliantly freakin' amazing!!!!), Kate Beckinsale (she can do absolutely anything to total sexy perfection and if she's not at least in your top 10...I'm sorry to have to tell you your brain just isn't functioning right!), Mia Kirshner (total way awesome cute sexy lil thing that gives every performance everything she's got and always makes any character sooo seriously sexy:), Jennifer Garner, Mischa Barton, Jessica Biel, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Connelly, Scarlett Johansson, Alison Lohman, Sandra Bullock, Natalie Portman, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jessica Alba, Lauren Graham, Sarah Wayne Callies, Taylor Cole, Brittany Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Willa Holland, Amanda Bynes, Halle Berry, Vanessa Marcil.

And, same as last year, I'm not at all so interested in the guys as I am in the girls, but it seems fair I list my favorite actors as well. So, if I had to make a list, here it is, same names as last year. My favorite actors...

Nicolas Cage, Kevin Spacey, Denzel Washington, Wentworth Miller, Bill Murray, Tom Hanks, Robin Williams, Wesley Snipes, Matthew Fox, Jim Carrey, Keanu Reeves, Billy Bob Thornton.

January 24, 2008

Music Video: "Live With Me"

The following video is based on my life.:P LOL. Kidding.:)
I've had this song and this video on my mind lately.
One late night, about a couple of years ago, I was watching TV and channel surfing and saw this video on MTV. First, the song is incredible. It's so extremely rare MTV plays any good new music anymore. Whether that's their choice or it has to do with music sales and the videos that are available, I'm not sure. Of course, most music videos are stupid pop songs and I'm not much into pop. I'd so f***ing love it if some real music, like this one, outside of ridiculously simplistic pop would be made into videos and played. So, just to hear this song on MTV was a wonderful surprise. The first time I heard it was that night on MTV and I loved it right away.:)
Then, there's the video itself. This video is so way above and beyond most music videos. This is a whole mini-movie drama, a whole story that is so real and haunting. Beautifully done! Great video!! One of the very best music videos ever!!!:D
I guess most would look at this video and think it sad or disturbing even. The first time I saw it, for me, it was just like watching a movie. I was totally fascinated and drawn in and involved in the story. I didn't have any particular feelings about what was going on other than just being absolutely amazed how well done this video is. Very impressive. Quite entertaining. A wonderful piece of art. And I think it's something everyone can relate to in some way.
The next couple of times I happened to catch this video, I was, like, hell yeah!:) I wanna get down like that!!:D Mmmm, yeah, get my groove on!!:P It would take some practice to really get that hardcore though. And it's too boring drinking at home alone. I usually drink at work.:P Or at least go shopping.:)
I could go on about drinking but it's a controversial subject and really all I planned to do was put the video up and write a little about how much I like the video, not discuss the theme in detail.
My reaction to the subject is mild. I believe the major point is not drinking itself but how a person behaves if or when they drink. I like to drink sometimes but I've never done anything crazy or outrageous, I've never hurt anybody either physically or verbally, I never bothered anybody. No amount keeps me from being able to walk straight or not be in control of what I'm doing. I could drink a bottle of vodka at work and no one would know. (Not that I have had quite that much at a work place. Purely out of financial consideration though. Gotta at least try and make a bottle last more than a day;) I haven't been hungover or sick from alcohol in years. If U don't believe me, buy a couple bottles of vodka and drink with me!:D Free vodka, yay!! Hell yeah, I'll be gulping that down!:P (Not like the girl in the video. I'd prob'ly barf. At least gag. LOL. But I can sure do lOts of shots!!!:D )
Anyway, as to my opinion on whether the girl is doing something wrong or what...I very rarely judge other people's lifestyles. She's not bothering anybody. She's just doin' her thing. Whether she's lonely, hates her job, just broke up with someone, just wants to escape, is addicted, wants to die, all of that or whatever...I think anyone can relate and everyone will have an opinion. I think she's cool.:)
The video enhances the song, gives it new depth and meaning and makes me like it even more. I totally lOvE this video!!!!:D This is easily my choice for best song ever by Massive Attack. And my choice for best music video of 2006!

"Live With Me" by Massive Attack (guest vocals by Terry Callier) (2006)

5min.31sec.

The main pages for this website can be found at the top left side of the screen written in blue. If you click on the main page titles, some of them expand and will list more pages.
To make this really easy, I'll list all the pages here at the bottom also, with links, and you can click on them from here if you like.:)

Julian's Blog: 2007

Julian's Blog: 2006

Julian's Blog: 2005

My Sex Fantasy Blog

My Profile Page

My First Webcam Videos

My Camcorder Videos: page 1

My Camcorder Videos: page 2

My Camcorder Videos: page 3

My Camcorder Videos: page 4

My Pictures

Pictures From My First Webcam Videos

Pictures From My Camcorder Videos: page 1

Pictures From My Camcorder Videos: page 2

The Blue Pictures

Bedtime Stories For Lovers

Pictures From My Camcorder Videos: page 2

JulianBabe — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 04:47:24 CDT

from On The Balcony: Part 1

from On The Balcony: Part 2

from Bathroom Pee and Orgasm

from C.O.M.F. nr.1

from On My Bed One Saturday

The main pages for this website can be found at the top left side of the page written in blue. If you click on the main page titles, some of them expand and will list more pages. To make this really easy, I'll list all the pages here at the bottom also, with links, and you can click on them from here if you like.:)

Pictures From My Camcorder Videos: page 1

Pictures From My Webcam Videos

My Pictures

The Blue Pictures

My Profile Page

My First Webcam Videos

My Camcorder Videos: page 1

My Camcorder Videos: page 2

My Camcorder Videos: page 3

My Camcorder Videos: page 4

My Sex Fantasy Blog

Julian's Blog: 2008

Julian's Blog: 2007

Julian's Blog: 2006

Julian's Blog: 2005

Bedtime Stories For Lovers

My Sex Fantasy Blog

JulianBabe — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 02:22:15 CDT

Hey. ;)

So, I had this idea about a page where I come by every once in awhile and write about some sex fantasy I was having or sexual thoughts I had that day.

August 26, 2008

My Girlfriend Told Me To Fuck Her Sister

This morning's fantasy I woke up and masturbated to...
I woke up all totally horny but my girlfriend wasn't in the mood. She told me to go fuck her younger teenage sister saying her sister just broke up with her boyfriend days before and was feeling really bad. My girlfriend also told me her sister had a huge crush on me and wished I was her boyfriend. I was unsure about this and nervous about this being some kind of weird test but my girlfriend was very reassuring and extremely insistent. She convinced me that if I was horny and she wasn't, I should really go fuck her sister.
So, I went to her sister's bedroom and got into bed with her. She slept nude too. I held her and rubbed myself from behind against her soft sexy ass. She moaned. I put my head down under the covers and licked her sweet lil pussy. She moaned some more. I took the covers off and continued licking her soft sweet tasting pussy. I put my finger up her soft pussy and began warming her up. Then I finally got on top of her and stuck my erect penis in her between her smooth sexy legs. She was sooo wet! She moaned some more and I slowly began to fuck her. She thanked me as I slid my dick back and forth in her sweet wet amazing lil pussy. I kissed her soft neck and whispered in her ear that I loved her and everything would be okay. I fucked her gently at first, then harder. I came hard and good inside her very wet pussy just after she orgasmed. I held her for several minutes when I heard my girlfriend calling for me. She told me to come back to bed and hold her. Her sister said for me to go, it was okay.
So, I went back to my girlfriend and got back under the covers with her and held her.
"Did you like it?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"Good. I'm sure it made my sister very happy! Just hold me. And in a few minutes I'll make breakfast for us. Nights you're mine! From now on, mornings you can go fuck my sister all you want."
I held her from behind, my penis right in the crack of her beautiful ass, still a bit wet and sticky from her sister.
Minutes later, my girlfriend got out of bed and made us all chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. We ate nude together. Then I fucked my girlfriend on the couch while her little sister watched, naked, rubbing herself and masturbating and came two times while watching us.

July 23, 2008

The Party Slut

I woke up this morning sweating and totally horny. This is what I thought about while I masturbated...

I'm a young girl, a teen.
I went to a party, either some big high school party or a college party. Lots and lots of people.
Anyway, I wake up naked on a bed in someone's bedroom at the house where the party is. Some guy is lying over me, his dick in me and he's fucking me. I felt confused and disoriented at first. Where was I? What was happening here? Then I began to remember I went to a party that night. I drank a lot. I must have passed out. I don't remember how I got to this bedroom. And...this guy prob'ly took off my clothes and decided to fuck me.
My first sort of dazed and groggy thoughts were, like, hey! You can't just do that!! That's rape! You can't just go around fucking unconscious girls!
But...oh my God, my pussy liked it!!:) My pussy loved it!!! It wasn't the guy that turned me on. It was the feeling in my pussy and looking down at my own soft sweet body. Wow. I was one hot sexy babe!:D My legs so smooth and soft. My pretty breasts jiggling away as this guy pumped his hips over me. My pussy was so wet! Maybe he wasn't even the first guy to fuck me that night...? I spread my beautiful legs wide and just let this guy do it to me. I began to moan. Oh my God, my pussy felt sooo good!
I don't know how long in all he was going at it but several minutes after I was sort of conscious, his body stiffened, he grunted and came inside of me.
"Mmmm," I moaned softly.
He kissed me on the lips, fondled my breasts a few seconds and got off me. I barely noticed as he put his clothes back on and opened the door to leave. Just as he went out, a new guy came in and started taking off his clothes.
"Another one?!" I thought. "Well...sure. Why not. I could use some more. I didn't even cum yet."
I passed in and out of consciousness. Lots and lots of boys fucked me. I don't even know how many. Sometimes they came two at a time and one fucked my pussy while the other fucked my mouth. A few fucked my ass too. I figured out pretty quick it was best just to relax my holes. Just let 'em do it. I also found out real quick the more I moaned and the more I pushed my pussy up at them, the faster they cum. It was so funny sometimes how some couldn't even last more than a minute or two before squirting inside me.
Somewhere during all that, I passed out again. Totally.
When I woke up, everything was dark and quiet. One guy was next to me on the bed. He smelled like beer. Another one was on the floor. They were sleeping or passed out.
I slowly sat up. I felt cold wet sperm run down my face and out of my mouth down on my breasts. I stood up. I felt sperm dribble and drip out of my pussy streaking down the insides of my thighs. My lil ass was leaking cum too. And my asshole felt all wet and squishy. My mouth, my pussy and ass all felt kinda sore, stretched and used up. The curtain was open and in the moonlight I actually found most of my clothes. I couldn't find my underwear though. That was the only thing I didn't find. I got dressed and quickly walked out of the bedroom, down some stairs and out the front door. The house was mostly empty. A few people sleeping here and there. And the place was totally trashed. Ha ha, what a mess!!
I began walking home on my slightly wobbly shaky legs thinking I didn't even get to the bathroom to wash up but...as much as I really wanted to find the bathroom, I just didn't want to risk waking anyone. Honestly, I did like what happened but I was sore and tired and not in the mood for anymore. So...there I was, some slutty hot spermed up well fucked teen babe party girl walking down the street in the middle of the night on her way home.

The other part of this fantasy...the part I orgasmed to...

At some point the fantasy changed and I wasn't a girl anymore. I was a guy. But...with a pussy. And girls were the ones with dicks. And the girls were the ones taking turns getting on top of me, orgasming and squirting their cum in me. Oh my God, I loooooved it!!!!!!!!:D I loved it sooo much!! I'd just lie there and sweet sexy girl after girl would strip down, get on top of me, stick her dick in me and fuck me really good 'til she came inside me! It was beautiful!!!!
I loved the feel of their soft pretty faces against mine, their beautiful soft smooth sweet scented naked bodies over me and I'd spread my legs and moan and moan. I'd push my lil pussy up against them. I'd grind myself against them. I'd hold them. Sometimes I'd even wrap my legs around them. I'd help them all orgasm and cum inside me. I completely lOvEd when they moaned or grunted or just quietly stiffened up and squirted in me!!! F***, yeah!! I wanted their cum, all their cum in me! Everything they had from every single one of them!!!:) :D

July 20, 2008

Sometimes I Have Fantasies About Mischa Barton

Uh huh, like, who doesn't?:P
Okay, this latest one is also the strangest one.
I saw a picture of her a few days ago in a gossip magazine, a whole section about scandals in Hollywood. It's a pic from last year. She was on her way into her hotel in London when...one of her breasts sort of falls out of her dress. LOL. Anyway, um, wOw, what a beautiful breast! Perfect amazing nipple!!! And I was thinking, oh my my God, I could totally suck her sweet nipples for days. Then, I started having fantasies about her sucking my nipples. Like, she's my girlfriend and had this comfort obsessive habit about needing to suck my nipples.:) And she does this almost daily. She needs this. She could lift my shirt and fondle my breasts and suck my nipples for quite awhile. If she was feeling bad about something, then she gets in a better mood and all happy. And often, she likes to fall asleep sucking my nipples.
Of course, such a thing is sexy and would turn me on. So, often, she reaches down and masturbates me while she sucks my nipples. As much as needed.;) Or she bends her pretty head down and sucks me off. And she loves to swallow every single drop of my sperm!:D
And variations on this fantasy being, a lot of times, she wants me to change and put on a mini-skirt and blouse while she sucks my nipples and caresses my smooth legs.
I could go on and on about sex fantasies I've had about Mischa! But I'll leave it at this one because it's....well, kind of strange and hopefully interesting and...it's been on my mind every day for several days now!:)

July 14, 2008

The Girl On The Train Fantasy and The Sorority Fantasy

These are the two fantasies I woke up to and masturbated to yesterday morning...

There was a time a couple months ago I was on a train. The train stopped. Another train stopped on the next track also. I saw a young girl, prob'ly 18-20 or so. in short shorts get on that other train. I watched her through the windows. Oh my God! I couldn't take my eyes off her. Her face was so super cute and her legs...were unreal! Perfect!! So beautiful!!! A pair of the sweetest smoothest sexiest legs I've ever seen! I was thinking, like, oh my freakin' God, I would do anything to have a girl like that! She looked so sweet and innocent. Kind of shy, like she had completely no idea how f***ing sExY she looked. Anyway, so, that's somethng real that happened and where I think this fantasy originated from.

I'm on a train. A young beautiful girl wearing short shorts or a mini-skirt sits next to me. Her legs were truly amazing! I glanced but...didn't want to get caught looking. The train wasn't that crowded at all. There were plenty of empty seats available. I was surprised she sat next to me instead of sitting alone somewhere.
At the next stop, several people got off. No one got on. We were actually now the only two in the whole area there. I figured any second she'd prob'ly get up and sit somewhere else. But she didn't. Instead, a moment later, she only turned her head, looked at me, then back straight ahead again. Seconds later, she slowly reached over and placed her hand over my crotch. This time I turned my head and looked at her. She looked straight ahead still and she was smiling. She gently squeezed my crotch. Then she moved her hand and began gently sliding her fingers down under my pants.
Now I smiled.:) And finally felt it was probably okay to look at her beautiful legs now.
Her hand was down my pants, under my underwear and softly fondling my balls and penis. Then she reached over with her other hand, unbuckled my belt, unzipped my pants, pulled my cock out and began to masturbate me.
I was in total heaven!:) Oh my God!! I looked up at her face. She had this mischievous grin, almost like she was about to giggle 'cause she knew how very much she was pleasing me.:)
I looked at her gorgeous legs again. My God! Her legs were absolutely perfect, smooth, soft, so young, so completely totally freakin' aMaZiNg!!!
She bent her head down and just for a few seconds took my dick in her mouth and sucked it. Then she sat up again and continued masturbating me.
"Cum on me," she said softly. "Here," she pointed at her bare thighs. "Cum on my legs. Jack off on me."
She took her hand away. I looked at her. She looked at me and smiled wide, waiting.
She watched as I reached down and rubbed myself. I looked at her smooth sexy legs. God...I could easily orgasm and squirt over legs like that every day!! I got up on one knee, my big hard thick cock right over her beautiful thighs. I rubbed myself 'til I grunted, my body tightened, shook and shivered. I came real nice and squirted my cum over her perfect sweet legs.
She smiled. She giggled.
As I pulled my underwear and pants back up, buckled my belt again and settled back into my seat, she pulled up her purse. She opened it, carefully removing a pen and tore off a piece of paper from something. She wrote her name with a heart near it and her phone number just as the train slowed and approached the next stop.
She handed me the piece of paper and said softly, "We can do this stuff and lots more if you want."
The train stopped. She calmly got up and walked out of the train, my sperm still on her legs. After she was outside, she turned to me, smiled very wide and waved at me. I could see my sperm still glistening on her perfect legs in the sunlight. Then she turned and walked away.
I watched her legs, her ass, her body, her long hair and thought to myself how much I want this girl!!!!!:) I thought about how I'd do stuff like kiss her beautiful legs up and down. I'd lick her sweet pussy out sooo good. And I'd kiss and lick her sexy ass so so good she'll never ever want anyone else but me!!!!!!!:) :D

This other fantasy I had yesterday morning...

I live in a sorority house with these college girls. Or maybe they all rent a big apartment together. Anyway, basically they keep me nude all the time and I'm their sex slave.
I cook for them sometimes and clean. Not because I have to but just because I want to. I love them all very much and I'm happy to help. I like to take care of them as much as they like taking care of me.
So, the deal is...like, if someone feels upset about something or whatever, sometimes I get sort of punished. For example, they have a strap-on hanging on a wall they all share. Whenever they want, they can fuck me in my ass with it, whether for fun or just being pissed off about something else and getting their frustrations out.
They have me masturbate for them all the time. They also do nice things sometimes like give me massages or hold me at night. Mostly I hold them though. At night or whenever they need it or just want to snuggle. They talk with me, tell me their problems sometimes. Sometimes they treat me quite normal...like a real friend. Sometimes they do stuff like make me wear skirts and put make-up on me and treat me like a doll. Or a sex toy. Sometimes they get kinda mean or nasty...like, order me to lick their pussy or ass or suck their toes or some even like to pee on me sometimes.
Sometimes I feel used and like they don't care but mostly I know they love me. A lot. They snuggle with me every night. Someone always needs that. They suck my nipples. A few of them do it very regularly. Like some kind of comfort thing they're used to. They kiss with me. They masturbate me. They suck me off. And, of course...they're not as horny as guys but.....there's a a bunch of 'em:) and they do have sexual needs.:D
I never sleep alone. Maybe one will sleep with me, maybe 2 or 3. And we have sex. Every night!! I do my best to fuck them good, lick them out and keep them happy. I get jealous when they have boyfriends. Occasionally they do. But I'm always around to comfort them when they have arguments and break ups.
Sometimes in secret, sometimes right in front of me, they discuss or even argue over which one will be the one to marry me and have me all to herself.
Okay, the part I was imagining when I orgasmed yesterday morning was this...
Two of the girls are sitting on the couch watching TV. They don't wear much around at home.:) Anyway, it was commercial break. They tell me to come over and masturbate for them. They spread apart on the couch so I can sit between them.
I sit down and begin to masturbate. They smile and watch my crotch. One of the girls begins to suck my nipple and pet my legs. The other starts making out with me. I just enjoyed it. What I didn't figure out yet was their secret plan was to turn me on enough to make me cum before commercials were over. Which I did. I orgasmed but there wasn't as much sperm as usual. Not much, actually.
"Hmmm. That wasn't much sperm," one of them said. "You'll have to do better than that. Sit here with us," she smiles. "We're gonna get lots of sperm out of you tonight, sweetie."

July 12, 2008

Girlfriend Masturbates Me, Little Sister Watches

This morning's fantasy I woke up and masturbated to...

I'm lying on my side. My girl is lying right behind me, holding me, her beautiful nude body pressed against mine. We just woke up. She holds my hip with one hand and begins to grind her pussy against my ass. I can feel her pussy getting wetter.
"Mmmm," she whispers in my ear. "You make me so horny. I want you nude for me all the time everyday. I love you very much, honey."
She reaches around from my hip to my smooth crotch and holds my penis in her hand. She begins to masturbate me. My cock gets thick and long real fast. And she continues humping my soft ass with her wet horny pussy.
Just then her little sister walks in the room. She stops and sees how the blanket is moving. "What are you doing?" she asks curiously.
"I'm masturbating my boyfriend," my girl says quite proudly. "You wanna watch?"
"Sure!" Her little sister says excitedly and so happy not to get kicked out of the room. She was still kinda sleepy when she came in, looking so cute in her short little nightie, but now she looked wide awake to say the least.;) She steps up closer but not to close. She's seen her sister give me blow jobs and masturbate me before several times. She knows I can squirt real far sometimes. She hadn't quite reached puberty yet and wasn't sure how she felt about sperm. As she steps closer, my girl throws back the blanket exposing my whole naked body.
My girl rubs my body all over, whispers she loves me in my ear, fucks me from behind with her now soaking wet pussy and masturbates me. Her little sister comes even closer to get a good look.
I lay there and moan 'til I cum. I cum really good! I cum good and hard while my girlfriend's little sister watches in wonder and amazement.
"You know what," my girl tells her sister. "Next time I want you to catch all that cum right in your mouth. Just like I do. I can show you some more how to do it if you want. Will you do it? Do you wanna try that?"
"Yes!" She says with such enthusiasm. "Yes, please!!" She had a crush on me ever since she met me and would be willing to do anything for me or her sister.
"Okay, good," my girl says. "I'm gonna teach you all about blow jobs and cum and how to fuck."
"Thanks!" her little sister says wondering and wishing so bad she could take off her nightie and crawl into bed with us right then but wasn't sure if she should so soon. Maybe it was too soon. She just smiled and walked out of the room.

July 11, 2008

Pull My Panties Off :)

I saw some news story the other day about some...boy? Man? I don't remember. Anyway, the guy was on a bus and pushed some woman down on a seat and tried a couple times to get her panties off.
I wish I were a girl and guys would try to pull my panties down!:) I'd pretend I didn't like it but really I would. I'd prob'ly let the guy fuck me if he wanted to. That'd be cool, my panties down, my sweet lil soft pussy hole oozing with some stranger's sperm. Maybe someone else would want to get a turn too!!
Let's say 3 or 4 guys fucked me on a bus. I get up, pull my panties up and get off the bus still very wet and leaking with several men's sperm. Mmmmm. Nice. I'm already thinking I should wear a mini-skirt, no underwear and ride the bus a lot!!!!:D
Or, like...at a club or supermarket. Just wear a short mini-skirt and let guys play with my sexy ass 'n stuff. Bend over and let 'em fuck me anytime.:)
Oh my God, that would turn me on SO much being wet with cum already and some new guy wants to slide his cock inside me and pump even more sperm into me!:) Mmm, yeah, keep my sweet horny pussy soaking wet with love and happy.:D
I wish so much I were a girl and could wear mini-skirts all the time! I have all these fantasies about bending over and letting guys fuck me and squirt their wet thick sperm deep up inside me.
What is that like...to be a girl, to have guys try and put their hands on your bare legs or under your shirt or down your pants. What is that like when they try and get your panties off and try and get their dick in your pussy. Or in your mouth. Or when they just jack off on your breasts or on your face.
Oh my God, I wish girls would do that to me!!!! I would lOvE it!! Try and get my clothes off, try and fuck me, try and rub their horny pussy on my face, get me to lick it, rub themselves on me, jack off on me 'n stuff. Wow...

May 30, 2008

Lying On The Couch Masturbating

So, last night was kinda warm. First I was lying on the couch with my hand down my shorts. That's all I had on. After around 20 minutes, I went to pee, took my shorts off, threw them in the bedroom, squirted a bit of lotion in my hand and settled back on the couch. I spread my long smooth legs wide and began to masturbate some more. I watched TV and masturbated for a couple of hours. During that time I had a whole bunch of fantasies!:P Things I've been thinking about the last few days. And more stuff too.:) Like...
I'm naked on my back, legs in the air and 2 guys take turns fucking my soft pretty ass. Before they cum, they pull out, stand up and orgasm lots all over my face and mouth. Of course, it gets recorded too so everyone can watch.;) :) :D
What else...
I'm naked on my back and several guys stand around me rubbing themselves, stroking their erect dicks, totally jacking off all over me. One by one they orgasm and squirt their sperm all over my smooth sweet nude body everywhere! I totally love the feel of their horny wet cum dripping and plopping down all over on my bare skin.
Another one...
I sit over one guy bouncing my sweet nice ass up and down on his big long stiff cock while another guy stands and shoves his giant hard dick in my mouth. They fuck my willing wet holes and then orgasm crazy loads of sperm in me at the same time.
LOL. Ha ha, so If I claim I'm straight...how come I have all these fantasies about guys, right? I know I've mentioned this stuff at least once before but...maybe I come up with something new to add this time. Well, there are several reasons. Like...in my experience, girls just aren't that sexual. In my experience, girls just don't get really horny. In my experience, girls just plain aren't really all that interested in sex. For example, I don't get more than a few small comments a year at most from girls who have seen any of my videos. But I get up to several comments a week from guys. Guys get horny! Guys are interested in me. Guys want sex. Apparently, a lot of guys think I'm freakin' hOt!!!:P :D Hee hee. (Basically, I don't think girls even look at porn. They don't have to. Girls are sought after and wanted. Girls can get the real thing whenever they feel like it.)
Plus, I've seen a lOt of porn. I love naked girls.:) I love their bodies!!!! So much!!!!!!! Oh my God, I wish I looked like that!! I want to do what they do. It looks fun.:) It looks so sexy and so beautiful. I want people to think of me that way! So...I think I would let guys put their dicks in me and do whatever they want. I'm not totally sure though 'cause I've still never tried anything with a guy.
Here's something important...it's not being with a guy that turns me on, it's the part about feeling like a girl that turns me on.:) I want to know what it's like for someone to be really horny for me, to want me so much they...want me naked and just really want to fuck me!:D I mean, wOw, what does that feel like??! What would it feel like if someone thought I was sexy and beautiful? I don't know. I've never been with anyone that was that horny for me. Girls get to experience that all the time!!! I've never known anyone who, like, was all totally horny for me and really wanted to get me naked to look at my body and touch me and fuck me. So, I fantasize about it all the time. And I never considered even doing anything with a guy until 2 or 3 years ago. (LOL. Yeah, after I finally got a computer and looked at so much porn I brainwashed myself into thinking it's completely natural and normal to suck dicks and get regularly fucked up the ass.:D )
More fantasies I had while I was masturbating last night...
Guys rub the tips of their dicks all over my nipples. They masturbate and cum and squirt their horny sperm all over my nipples and breasts!! Mmmmm.:) That would be SO gReAt!!!:D
Laying on my back, my long soft legs on some guy's shoulders. I just let him fuck me and fuck me and fuck me.:) He grunts and groans and I'm all dreamy high in erotic ecstasy moaning away. Or...better.......a girl with a strap-on does me while I have my legs on her shoulders. (Mmmm, yes, honey, please!!) She does such an outrageously amazing job being dominant and fucking me and at the same time has this way of touching me and telling me sweet things, making me feel so very soft and pretty and sexy.
I'm naked on my back...and have you noticed a lot of my fantasies start out this way?;) Hee hee. And 5-10 girls are lined up. We're outside on a sunny day. And...they take turns squatting over me and peeing on me. I love looking at their soft smooth pretty legs spread over me, their sweet lil ass lowered over me, watching their cute lil pussy as their warm wonderful pee rains down on my naked body. Oh my God.:D Totally awesome!:) So sexy and exhilarating!! More, more, more!!!:D And then...hee hee...they take turns sitting over me and fucking me.:) :D Hard!!!:P Oh my God...I would lOvE it sooooooo mUcH!!!!!!!:)
Oh! This one...a frequent fantasy...
My girlfriend (not that I have one but if I did) and her friend, a girl, get together to talk. And I'm there too. And they chatter on and on and I get a little bored. So, I ask if it's okay if I masturbate. They say sure. I take off my clothes as they continue talking and...I reach down between my legs and begin to masturbate. Occasionally, they look over but not seeming to pay too much attention. However, as time passes, they each look over at me more and more and for longer periods of time.:) Finally, after a half hour or 40 minutes or so, I'm about to cum so I'm really going at, panting and moaning a bit. Then they both stare at my crotch, watching my great big hard cock intensely, waiting to see me squirt. My girlfriend rubs my breasts and plays with my nipples, maybe kisses my neck. And...it happens. I totally shake and shudder and moan and cum all over myself, a big wet splashy shooting beautiful amazing sexy orgasm! My girlfriend kisses me deep and passionately on the mouth. She tells me something nice. Her friend is smiling, her eyes dancing, and she excitedly says something about how impressive that was to see. Within a couple of minutes though, they're back to chatting away with each other. But my girlfriend holds me in her arms now. I'm still kinda wet and drippy with cum but it's okay. And I reach down and begin masturbating again. It goes on for 2 or 3 hours, them chatting away while I enjoy myself lying there completely nude between them and masturbating. I have several orgasms in all and they watch each one very intently.:)
I had so many fantasies last night! I don't think I could even remember them all. Here's a couple more though...
Some rich guy makes me his girlfriend. He buys me nice skirts and dresses to wear for him. He takes care of me. In return I take care of the cooking and cleaning. I keep my body smooth and soft. And make myself sexually available to him. He especially likes to see me in mini-skirts.:) And whenever he pulls his dick out, he doesn't have to say anything. I just get on my knees and suck it. I'm his girl. I'm his pretty lil slut.:) He loves to feel my smooth long legs, kiss them up and down, lift my skirt up and play with my sexy ass.;) :) Often, in the kitchen, for example, he lifts my skirt, squeezes and plays with my ass a bit, bends down and licks it, stands up again, spreads my soft ass cheeks wide open, sticks his dick in me and fucks me right there.:) Sometimes, I'm walking around in a mini-skirt, no underwear and his sperm running down my bare legs from him fucking me or masturbating on me.
What I was thinking of when I finally orgasmed last night...
A campfire at the beach with some friends. Girls and guys. They don't really have the guts to get naked but I do. And they like to have me naked. They love to watch me masturbate and they know if any one of 'em gets horny, I'll do pretty much anything. They know they can just go ahead and touch me and fuck me whenever.
So, yeah, one of the guys tells me to get on my hands and knees. I do. Then he gets behind me, drops his shorts and fucks me doggy style while the others watch. He's grunting away and I'm moaning. He starts off slow and at the end is holding my hips firmly while he fucks me really hard and fast. I feel my breasts bouncing and swaying and jiggling under me. His whole crotch bangs and slaps against my sweet naked ass. I feel him explode and orgasm inside me as everyone watches. His hot liquid fills me. As he pulls out, I feel some of it dripping out of my ass and streaming down the insides of my smooth thighs. I'm about to stand up but one of the other guys tells me to stay where I am. He wants a turn now too.:P :)
One of the girls comes over and kisses me and masturbates me while the second guy fucks me.

April 18, 2008

A Sex Fantasy I Had One Morning

I woke up all horny one morning last weekend and masturbated and came all over myself while having this fantasy...
I'm lying in bed. Naked, of course!:) It's morning. I'm lying on my side. I wake up feeling someone's hand on my hip. The end of a hard cock is gently pushing between my smooth butt cheeks.
I moan lightly. It feels pretty good.:) This big hard erect cock is gently thrusting at me from behind. He wants to push it in me. But he knows not to hurt me. He knows I'll let him do anything as long as it feels good for me too.;)
He moves away from me, rolls over. I hear a bedside drawer open and shut. It's quiet for a few seconds. Then I feel a wet finger, generously covered with gel, slowly slide right up my smooth sexy ass.
"Mmmmm," I moan.
He places his other hand on my hip and slowly begins to fuck me with his finger. I smile knowing he's warming me up to fuck me with his big hard erection.:) He continues for a couple of minutes. His finger pulls out. I feel his dick gently slide between my soft butt cheeks again prodding at my asshole. Soon the tip enters. I moan again. And he pushes his big strong erection up my willing ass.
I feel his breath on my shoulder. Then he kisses my neck and so carefully begins to fuck me. He whispers in my ear. He tells me I'm so sweet. He tells me I feel so good. He sucks on my earlobe as his thrusts become faster and harder.
I feel this big thick cock moving back and forth in me. It feels so hard and strong and I'm thinking it's almost a miracle he can get that thing in me. He fucks me for several minutes before I feel his hand grip my hip firmly. He thrusts deep up in me right before he cums. Then I feel his warm sperm flood me.
It feels so good! I moan again. I smile.:) I'm happy. I like being fucked in the morning.:D
A minute later he pulls his gradually shrinking cock out of me, gets out of bed, and tells me he has to shower and get ready for work now. He leaves the room.
I fell asleep again. Couldn't have been for long though. When I open my eyes, I hear him talking to someone in the kitchen. I recognize the other voice. Someone he works with. And minutes later he comes back in the room to say goodbye. He tells me he's gonna finish his coffee and go. He also tells me, "Honey, I'm gonna let my friend fuck you now."
He leaves and seconds later his friend comes in the room. I'm still lying on my side. This guy is standing at the side of the bed behind me. I'm completely relaxed. I know what's going to happen. It's happened so many times before. It's kind of routine by now. I let several of his friends fuck me regularly.
I hear him unzip his pants. He pulls them down. He gets under the blanket behind me, spreads my ass cheeks open and starts trying to push his cock in me. In a matter of seconds he has it completely in me. I'm still quite wet from gel and sperm.
I hear heavy breathing and grunting as he fucks my sloppy wet ass. He's not so gentle but I'm so wet and warmed up that it's okay. It's fine. I feel his hairy crotch banging against my soft smooth ass at every thrust. Within 3 or 4 minutes he grunts loudly and cums in me. Then he rubs my neck and shoulders a little bit, says "thanks" and pulls out of me. He rolls out of bed, stands, pulls his pants up, zips and leaves the room.
Not so long after, he comes back. He gets on the bed, on his knees, in front of my face, unzips his pants, pulls 'em down and waits.
I raise my head up, supporting my upper body on one elbow and take his semi-erect cock in my mouth. I suck on it. I do my best to help his cock get nice and hard so he can cum in my mouth or fuck me some more. Whatever. Soon my head is bobbing all around on his excited erection. I'm doing my absolute best to get him to cum for me. I'm expecting he wants to cum in my mouth. And I can feel he's close, he's about to. But then he pulls it out of my mouth and starts masturbating right in front of my face.
I wait. Around 30 seconds later he cums. Warm thick wet sperm spurts out and unloads on my face. Mostly around my mouth.
He only glances down at me, pulls up his pants, zips, gets off the bed and leaves without a word.
I lay back down on the bed softly licking my lips. I'm tempted to wipe the sperm away but I know they like to see it on me. One or the other might be back.
Minutes later both guys have left for work. Not more than 2 minutes after that, a naked woman enters the room. It's the sister of the first guy.
I roll over on my back to look at her. She has such a nice body and walks around nude a lot.:)
"Hi," she says and smiles at me. "Did they fuck you?"
"Uh huh."
"Can I see?" she giggles.
"Yeah," I smile, pull down the blanket exposing my whole naked body and roll over on my stomach knowing what she wants to do.
She gets on the bed beside me, caresses my ass and then spreads my ass cheeks open very wide. She spends some time looking and poking her finger around at my wet leaking asshole. "Wow. They got you pretty good. Let me see your face again."
I roll over on my back, sperm still on my face. Half dried up but still there.
"Poor sweet babe," she says and giggles while bending her face towards mine. She begins carefully and thoroughly licking the sperm off me. Then we begin to kiss. She puts her tongue deep in my mouth.
I have a huge hard throbbing erection now which she holds firmly with her hand and rubs before excitedly jumping out of the bed saying, "Come on! Come have breakfast with me!"
We eat breakfast together nude. Then I fucked her really good and hard on the couch. Twice.:)

April 4, 2008

My Boobs and Nipples (Ache For Attention)

Just some things I've been thinking about lately...
I've discovered recently if I look in the mirror and lean forward and bend my body a little in the right ways...my breasts look very feminine and full.:P And if I kinda bounce like I was getting fucked, they jiggle and wobble and shake. It's kinda freaky how bizarrely feminine they look. And I've been thinking if I got fucked doggy style with the camera at the right angle...my breasts would really be hanging and bouncing and jiggling all over.:P Oh my God, I wanna see that! I wanna get fucked hard and fast with my breasts hanging and swaying and totally bouncing all over the place.:D LOL. Most of the time I really don't like my breasts 'cause I think they're too big. Sometimes they turn me on though.
Today I was naked, looking in the mirror. (I had just epilated myself.) I was trying to get the right pose to make my breasts kind of hang and look as big and feminine as possible. Kinda freaked me out. Kinda turned me on. I reached down and rubbed myself. I looked at my breasts. I bounced my body and made them jiggle and shake like I was getting fucked. And trying different poses. After about ten minutes of moaning and rubbing myself while watching my breasts, I had a really huge strong orgasm and squirted on the floor.
Last night I was watching some old movie. The girl was so cute. I was wishing I looked like that, all girly and cute and soft and smooth and sexy. I was thinking about how all the guys would look at me and how everyone would wanna fuck me.:P
Then I started having this fantasy. In the fantasy I'm a girl, which is actually what most of my fantasies are about. (Girls are soooo sexy and beautiful that I wish I looked like that!!!) I'm lying on the couch watching TV with some guy. Maybe a girl. It kinda switched back and forth. Anyway, so, he's all horny for me and gets his hand up my shirt and starts squeezing my breasts and playing with my nipples.
As I'm having this fantasy, I'm also doing everything to myself.:)
Soon he has my shirt pulled up over my breasts. He's touching me and caressing me and sucking on my nipples. First one, then the other, then back again.
As I was imagining it, I caressed my breasts and played with my nipples. Then I was licking my fingers and touching, pinching, pulling at my nipples. Something about the wetness was so much better and more sexy and real.
Then I put my hand down my sweatpants and started masturbating myself. This guy sucking on my nipples turned me on that much. I had to rub myself! Although, like I said, it switched back and forth between a guy doing this and a girl. I liked imagining that if it was a girl, she reached into my pants to masturbate me while she sucked on my nipples.:)
Not long after, my pants are down past my knees. My legs are spread wide. My shirt is up over my breasts. And by then I was imagining one guy sucking my nipples while another guy fucks my smooth shaved little pussy. The guy fucking me fucks me hard!! Slamming and slapping against my pussy as he fucks me fast. And I'm sooo horny and wet and opened up I'm almost expecting to hear my pussy juice splashing out of me all over the floor.
My pussy grabs his cock firmly, my body tenses up and just as I cum strong and hard so does he. His thick sperm shoots out and floods my pussy. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start dripping for real. Then the guys trade places. The other guy sticks his dick up me and fucks my sloppy wet pussy and cums in me too.
I had my orgasm by then for real so there wasn't anymore to the fantasy but if it were to continue...I have this frequent fantasy about being a girl at a party. And I'm drunk and horny. I end up in a room, naked, on my back, legs spread and a line of guys are outside the door. I should prob'ly write this out in detail sometime.;) Anyway, sometimes the door is open for everyone to watch what's going on. Sometimes the door is shut. Sometimes I'm awake through all of it. Sometimes I'm passed out and everyone fucks me anyway. Sometimes it's on a bed. Sometimes it's on the couch in the living room. And guys come up one or two at a time and fuck me and cum inside me. Or on my face or in my mouth or where ever. I'm basically the party slut and everyone who wants gets to fuck me. And it goes on and on for, like, 2 or 3 hours. Or all night.:) I get fucked so much and filled in all my holes and covered with sperm over and over and over and over...
Oops. This was supposed to be only about my breasts. So, a little more on that...
Later last night on the couch I masturbated to the same fantasy again. Did everything the same except the second time I used a small wet sponge to tease and rub my nipples. That worked better! The wetness from licking my fingers lasts only seconds. But the sponge stayed wet.:) So there I was, on the couch, on my back, shirt over my breasts, pants down past my knees, legs spread wide, one hand masturbating myself, the other one holding a wet sponge to caress my nipples with and I orgasmed all over myself.
This morning I woke up imagining someone sucking on my nipples. I got wildly turned on and a huge thick throbbing erection stretched out. I rubbed myself and orgasmed in bed real good and hard imagining having my nipples sucked on...

November 9, 2007

My Smooth Legs and Soft Bare Chest

This morning, I was sitting on the couch after breakfast. I casually pulled up my sweatpants over my lower right leg. I crossed my leg over my left knee, looked at it and started to run my fingers over my smooth skin.
I used an epilator on my chest, stomach and crotch last week and on my legs for the first time yesterday. My legs have never been so smooth and soft.:) I like touching them.;) I get turned on feeling my own sexy legs.:)
I imagined myself sitting there in a skirt. Some guy is sitting next to me. My fantasy sort of flickered back and forth between being on the couch and sitting on a stool in a bar. And the guy reaches down and lifts my skirt up over my knees. Then he begins to run his hand slowly up and down one of my smooth legs. He smiles and tells me how soft and pretty I am.:)
By this point, sitting there on the couch, I put my hand down my pants and began to rub myself. As the fantasy progressed, I pulled my pants down and masturbated.
I imagined this guy feeling my legs and telling me I'm pretty.:) I imagined his hand at my crotch, feeling me, touching me and he would go on telling me how soft and pretty and sexy I am.:) And I would breathe deeper, enjoying the attention and letting him turn me on.:) Then I was panting as he began to masturbate me. I was imagining myself as a girl and he was masturbating my pussy.:) He told me I'm beautiful. And he looked at me with such love in his eyes while he was doing his best to make me cum.
Then I imagined another guy on the other side of me also touching me and getting all hot for me. One is masturbating me and the other takes his dick out. Without even thinking about it, I lean over and let him put it to my lips. Somehow, my top is down. He must've pulled it down and I didn't notice before. One of my breasts is hanging out. My other breast is about to pop out also. I open my mouth and take his hot huge hard dick in mouth. He touches my breast and squeezes it as I suck his cock.
Soon, the other guy stands up, throws his pants off and gets between my long smooth legs. He sticks his cock up my wet pussy and immediately starts fucking me.:D He smiles and runs his hand over my bare smooth crotch and on my soft inner thighs as he fucks me.
I feel so filled and satisfied and sexy with these two men all horny for me and putting their cocks in me.:) They both fuck me for awhile, one in my mouth, and the other in my wet juicy horny pussy.
The guy in my mouth cums first. His dick swells and his warm sperm pulses and pumps away into my loving mouth. I swallow some so I don't choke. I wouldn't have minded swallowing it all but suddenly I just felt I would feel more sexy and slutty if I let them see me with cum all over me. I let the rest run out of my mouth. It streams down my chin and I let it drop and run over my chest and down my bare breasts which are both hanging out of my top now in full view.
As the guy that just orgasmed in my mouth watches me sucking him still, he plays with my nipples.
The other guy is pumping and thrusting and pounding my pussy furiously!! He's staring at my breasts, watching the other guy's wet sperm stream across them. He glances up at my face, watching me suck the dick I have in my mouth. Then he looks at my soft smooth pussy. And he looks back up again at my breasts hanging out of my top with sperm on them. He keeps feeling my bare crotch all over and my sexy legs. It's like he can't believe how soft and smooth I am. And then he grabs each thigh tight, thrusts himself in me hard, grunts and cums in me!:) Mmmmmm, his cum spurts and squirts all up inside my body as my horny hot pussy clamps down on his dick as I shudder and moan and have my orgasm too.:D

September 7, 2007

Wanna Hear About A Dream I Had?

I had a dream a couple nights ago. Unfortunately, it only seemed to last a matter of seconds, so there's not much to tell. And it's the only sort of sex dream I've had since I don't know when.
I was nude and lying on my back in a room I've never been in before. There was something familiar about it though. I was wondering where I was and began to sit up. As I sat up, I looked down at my body. There was fresh sperm on me. And it was too much that I could've squirted it all on myself. From the pattern I saw, it looked like separate orgasms. There was a concentrated area of sperm splatter on the middle of my chest, also on my stomach a couple of places, my crotch and my thighs. I was admiring myself and thinking it looked good on me.;) I just looked at myself, taking it all in and thinking, like, hmmm, so this is what I look like with other people's cum on me.
Then other thoughts came, or...well, mostly a bunch of questions like...is anyone else here? Did I just make a video? Did guys just cum on me? Did someone at least get pictures so I can put them up on my site? Did I do something slutty?:) Am I a slut now?:P
And then I woke up.
I was thinking about it again today. I realized that's the first and only dream I've ever had that was in any way homosexual (that I can think of today anyway). And I remember looking down at my body and seeing that cum on me. I really liked it.:) It was nice. I was thinking other things today too, like, why couldn't I dream about the part when it happened. 'Cause I'm so curious about what that would feel like. I would love to see and feel other people's cum squirting and dropping down on my naked body! And why haven't I ever had a dream about someone fucking my ass.:P :D I think about it every day!! I really really am crazy curious about what that would feel like!!! Maybe I can't dream about it 'cause I've never experienced anything close enough to that. Sigh. I'd sure love to dream about it, so I'd at least have some idea what it would be like! (I still don't know yet if it would turn me on at all if a guy did it to me. I know I'd sure love it if a girl did it!:D )
Then I was looking at porn pics today on the net and masturbating and thinking things like, yeah, I want someone to do THAT to me!:P And that!! And...ooh, yeah, I want someone to fuck me just like that!!!! And that way too!! And...oh, wOw, I wish I was that girl! (That thought comes up a lot when I see a girl has two or more dicks to get fucked with.) And...uh huh, someone should totally fuck me just like that! And...mmmm, God, yes, I want someone to lift my leg and do me like that!!
I wanna lay around and just be fucked really good. Mmm, use my body and don't stop 'til I'm officially a well-fucked spermed over (in and out and all around!) total sperm dripping slut!!:P

August 31, 2007 (and the first week or so of September;)
These fantasies I'm going to start adding to my blog today are things I wrote to a girl a couple of years ago. Or at least, at the time, I thought I was writing to a real girl. This was back when I first got my computer and started checking out dating and sex-dating sites on the internet.
I picked a pay-site to join. It seemed to have the greatest number of way hot sexy babes.;) (Ha ha, what a bunch of bullshit that turned out to be.) There was one profile I was particularly interested in. The girl in the picture was just sooo beautiful! One of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen!! I mean, like, oh my God!!! I just totally had to get her to write to me. And...she did. (Or so I thought.)
Among constant wild sexual wishes and fantasies about us and seeming to be sexually obsessed (in other words, seemed to think about sex as much as guys do:), she even told me she loved me and wanted me to marry her. Oh my gosh, I was so completely out of my mind wildly happy, but...yeah, not so long after that, I figured out it wasn't a real person. It took me awhile to figure out a whole lot of sex-dating sites are ripoffs. Most profiles are fake. And I'm not even talking about all the people who pretend to be someone they're not, I'm talking about the sites that create hundreds (thousands...?) of fake profiles to get people to join. Then site employees send messages from the fake profiles to keep people interested, get them to keep paying to be a member.
In the profile for this girl I was so interested in, it said she knew she's sweet and innocent looking but she was really a bad girl. In the first response I got, she said she's always wet before she opens her box to read her mail and she liked it when guys told her something hot. She kinda told me I was being too sweet. I was so happy she wrote to me. I would lie around daydreaming about her. I took into account what it said in her profile and what it said in the e-mails I got and tried my best to imagine her personality. I wrote some fantasies just for her. (I pretty much always write the first draft of anything on paper. When I type, I adjust things here and there. Sometimes I save the paper version.)
So, here they are, a few fantasies I'm going to add (I picked the 4 longest and best ones) inspired by looking at a picture of an innocent sweet smiling beautiful sexy perfect looking girl...before I found out the profile was fake and the girl in the 2 pictures added to the profile were actually pictures of.......the girl who is now my favorite porn star...........(any guesses?:P )....................(her real name is Nicole Sabene).........................(besides the name she's most famous for, she's also been in videos as Nikki Star and Charlie)..............................Taylor Rain!!!!:)
So...yep, a few of my fantasies for Taylor Rain. Before I knew who she was. Or...you could imagine it's you in these fantasies...

Wet

Imagine yourself standing in the middle of your living room. It's a sunny afternoon. And you're already wet for me...
I want you to unbutton and unzip your pants for me, while I'm on my knees in front of you. You slide your pants and underwear down at the same time. No teasing. No playing shy. You like to get right to it.;) I push them below your cute knees.
I begin to touch your sexy legs, feel them with my fingertips, caress them. My hands are flat on your beautiful legs now, big warm hands feeling your wonderful legs up and down. My hands move to your gorgeous ass now, holding it, feeling it, squeezing gently. Then I start kissing your thighs. You love my soft moist kisses on your sexy legs. It gets you even more wet. And I know it.:)
I like to tease you. But not too long. You may be bad, but I'm very sweet.:)
You're already tired of the teasing. You're realllly wet and you want my mouth somewhere else. Your perfect lil pussy is so wet, it's almost dripping. You half expect to hear drops dripping on the carpet below. And the blood in your body that has rushed down there makes it warm, swollen with desire.
My kisses draw quickly closer to where you want them to be. As I hold your beautiful ass, you tilt your sweet pussy a bit forward and spread your legs a bit. You want to make sure I know exactly what you want and that you're waiting for it. My kisses are still slowly moving closer, closer, closer...
You smile. You know where my mouth is gonna be next. You breathe deeply, slowly. Your eyes close when my tongue begins licking exactly where you like it.
You're thankful I didn't tease you anymore. You're standing completely still.
You exhale, slowly opening your eyes to see me on my knees, my head between your beautiful legs, my tongue licking you so sweetly, so affectionately, tasting you, drinking from you...
You breathe in again, feeling sexy, powerful. A complete sense of well-being and satisfaction fills your spirit. You feel like the Sex Goddess Of The Universe!!! You enjoy the feeling, savor it. You know there are better things ahead, but for now you're content, in a different world. In this other world, there are no daily problems, nothing you have to do, no time, no life, no death, nothing but endless pleasure. You feel sooo good. Your sexual being is free to step out. You're free, you're floating, you're flying. It's heaven but you don't think of it that way. There are no words, no concepts. You just feel it, enjoy it, enjoy me licking you, knowing I like it, knowing I lOvE to lick you, drink from you...
There were moments of pure timeless pleasure. You were floating, so enjoying everything but now it's somehow almost as if it's not enough. You want something more. You're just realizing this as I take one hand off your amazing ass and bring it around to insert my finger in that sweet wet pussy. It slides in with ease. Your eyes glaze over. You take a deep slow satisfied breath, thinking, yeah! That's what was missing. That's what you wanted.
I begin moving my finger back and forth, still licking you. Oh, yeah! Pleasure and total satisfaction sweeps through your body again. I use two fingers now, sliding them back and forth in you, still licking, smiling at how wet you are. My whole mouth and jaw is wet with your juice. My fingers are soaked, shining in the light as they move out and in, back and forth...faster and faster.
You begin to moan.
I'm working my fingers in you so fast now there's a faint slapping sound as my fingers plunge into you as far as they can go and the rest of my hand slaps against your soaking wet pussy. Slap, slap, slap! And I'm still licking you. You're on the verge of an orgasm. But you're not sure if you should let go and have it or...wait. Was it too ridiculous to be standing there with your pants pushed down? Did it look too silly? Was it too soon?
I look up at you.
You smile, eyes dreamy, breathing quick shallow breaths.
"Cum for me," I say. "Cum for me! I want you to cum!!"
Your sweet sexy smile widens. There! Decision made. There was always time for more orgasms later. And very soon too. This would be just the first!
Your moaning increases. You prepare your mind and body to let go, experience the pleasure to the max, let that orgasm happen...
My hand is working you, working that beautiful gorgeous pussy hArD and fAsT, thrusting in and out, back and forth. Slap, slap, slap, slap, while I'm licking your clit. Suddenly, you just can't stand it anymore. You can't wait. You want to GET OFF!!! You want to CUM!! Right now!!!! You want to explode sex all over the whole fucking room!!!!!!!
Closer. Closer. You feel it coming. In seconds you're gonna have a rEaLLy totally way out rockin' kickass orgasm and you know it!
You moan. Your mouth quivers. Your body starts to tighten and shake. And then BOOM! Everything turns white. Later you'd think of it as an explosion of light. Then the white fades off and everything gets slowly darker, turning to black. But at the moment, you don't even notice the complete lack of your sight or what colors were there. You sense only your sexy body rocking, weightless, something like being in a pool. Gentle waves push and rock your wonderful body. Waves of pure pleasure. Waves of such incredible powerful pleasure. Pure ecstasy. You feel like your body is floating, one with the universe and the loving waves hold you in place, wash over you, swell around you, caress you, protect you from falling, like intergalactic waves of fantastic pleasure...
The waves gradually slow down. Vision starts to fade back in. Your legs tremble. And quickly everything fades black again. You lose your balance and would've fallen backwards, but my one hand is still on your ass and as I feel you start to fall, I support your body, hold you up. My other hand immediately reaches around to help hold you up.
You feel my hand with two big wet fingers touch your ass. It surprises you. But just for a second. Your vision snaps back. Then you remember why part of my hand feels wet.
I look at your beautiful face. Your eyes are dreamy, sleepy, so sexy looking. You look so sweet! Your face is so relaxed, so calm. You smile that adorable smile I love so much and you look at me like you're completely drunk. Your smile widens and you start to giggle...
"You okay?" I ask.
Your eyes are sparkling, wide awake now, full of playfulness and excitement. "Mmm hmmm!" you say, grinning and nodding your head.
Still on my knees, I kiss your left hip (just to let you know I like you and care about you so much:). I push your pants and panties down all the way to your ankles and begin to lift your leg. You understood what I wanted, lifted up one leg, put it down and then the other so I could get your pants off. I folded your pants, put the panties on top and set them down to the side next to me.
I begin to get up, putting one arm behind your legs and one arm behind your lower back.
"I'm gonna pick you up now, okay?"
"Okay!" you say, not knowing what I had in mind to do next but...so far it sounded like a great idea.:)
Just as I began to lift you, you put your arms around my neck. I scooped you off the ground and held you in my arms. Just then I was thinking how totally cute you looked with just a t-shirt on and nothing else. And I loved the feeling of your smooth bare skin on my strong arms as I held you. Then I began to walk.
"Where are we going?" you ask, mildly curious.
"Bedroom, I guess."
"Why?" you ask, thinking it might be more fun to continue in the living room.
Just as I'm about to enter the bedroom, I stop. "Would you rather be in the living room then?" I ask and turn around to start heading back.
We're halfway back to the living room when you picture me on top of you having sex on the carpet there. The idea of rugburn crosses your mind, especially since you know that I know...you like me to really go for it and pump you very hard and wild during sex. "Never mind," you say. "Bedroom sounds good!"
I give you a look for a couple of seconds like I'm mad. But you know I'm only teasing.:) I turn around and head back for the bedroom. Just then you leaned your face towards mine and gave me a kiss.
The truth is I like you so much, I'd carry you anywhere. All day if you want.:) (Or at least as long as I could physically manage it!;) And you knew it.:) That's why you kissed me.
I walk to the bed and place you gently on it. I take off my shirt and toss it in the corner.
You sat up, grabbed my belt and carefully yet quickly unbuckled it. Then you unbuttoned my pants, unzipped them and pushed my pants and underwear down just like I did to you earlier. I lifted one foot, then the other, so you could get my pants off. Then you took off your t-shirt really fast and tossed it to the side. (Now we're both naked.:) PaRtY time!!!!:D )
"Come to me, baby!" you say, grinning, moving back on the bed, lying down, your arms stretched out towards me, eyes still excited and sparkling. "Come to me, sweetheart. Make love to me. Fuck me all you want!"
Now it's me who has the biggest grin. I laugh, carefully start to get on the bed and come over to you. Your arms are still stetched out, waiting. I settle my body softly and gently over yours, lying down over you and you wrap your arms around me. I breathe in and out slowly, deeply, just enjoying so much the feeling of your skin, your perfect body under me, the feeling of laying in your arms. I like it soooo much!!!
I kiss your cute shoulder, then your soft cheek, then your wonderful mouth. I support some of my weight on my elbows at each side of you. You kiss me back which starts off some really deep hot intense tongue kissing!!
My pelvic area is right over yours. And I suddenly notice how wet you still are there. It turns me on so much! I start moving my hips a bit, rubbing myself against you, feeling that wetness against my smooth skin, getting even more turned on!! My cock is now completely huge and warm and pulsing with every beat of my heart.
The feeling of that great big hard huge dick against you turns you on wildly! You feel how much I want you. You know how much you turn me on. Thinking about that turns you on even more!
I feel you pushing your hips towards me, up at me, rubbing yourself against me too. I moan slightly. You feel how badly I want you. It makes you feel so sexy and desired. It turns you on more and more. You moan as we're breathing harder, kissing and grinding against each other.
You almost can't believe how hot and thick and long and hard my dick is! God, it's sooo huge now!!! The thought of me putting it inside you is slightly scary, yet completely thrilling. Exhilarating...
Your eyes are half closed. I know you want me just as much as I want you. I know I'm teasing you in a way, but it's not really on purpose. It's foreplay. I'm just enjoying it. But I'm not sure I can keep doing this for even a minute more.
Just then was when you whispered in my ear, "I want you inside me. Please.......honey. Be inside me. Put it in me..."
I'm thinking I'll be careful, take my time getting it in. I adjust my hips, aim the tip into the middle of all the wetness and start to push. Without even trying, without any hesitation or resistance, in just a split second, my big freakin' huge cock slipped right inside you! All the way in.
"You're so wet!" I whisper back to you. "It's sooo goooood!!"
I move my hips up and down. My hard stiff cock moves with my hips...up and down inside you. Up and down, up and down. It's so thick and huge, filling you completely...in such a quenching satisfying way.
For a few seconds, your eyes were on the ceiling. Just then you were thinking there's nowhere on earth you'd rather be and no one you'd rather be with. This was exactly where you wanted to be, doing exactly this with me. Everything was perfect. Absolute perfection. Total happiness.:o)
I kissed your beautiful face several times all over. Then I supported my upper body on my hands at each side of you, thrusting my hips up and down, up and down, pumping you good, by nice big cock sliding down and up and back down all the way in your sweet wet pussy...
You looked down, watching yourself getting fucked. It turned you on seeing I was shaved and smooth for you. You could feel also how much you turned me on, how much I wanted you! All kinds of thoughts flashed, whirled and bounced around. Like...you felt so small compared to me. Not only was the size of my body so much bigger but you could sense the massive strength and power in my body. It could be frightening, but it wasn't. You were just amazed, having this big wonderful strong body over you. You felt protected, safe, cared for, so simply amazed that this huge powerful handsome;) guy was always so sweet to you and was able to turn you on so much and could give you such pleasure.
You touched me here and there with your hands, noticing I was building up a sweat. You spread you legs wider, thinking sex was the greatest thing ever invented.:) Nothing beats lying in bed and getting fucked really good!! More thoughts bounced and flashed. Like, it would be great if this could go on all day and night!!! And...please, baby, don't ever stop fucking me! Go on and do it!! Do it forever and ever and ever!!!!!!!:)
It went on for quite awhile. At one point, I stopped to put your legs on my shoulders. This position turns me on incredibly much! My body was shiny with sweat. I wanted to cum soooo bad! But even more, I wanted to give you another orgasm. That's what I was trying to do. But I couldn't really tell if you were getting close or not. I could see you were having a good time anyway.:) I liked looking at your beautiful sweet face, then glancing down and watching the way your breasts moved as I pounded you.
I liked it when you spread your legs apart for me. It was like that position with your sexy legs on my shoulders was too much of a turn on. I was about to cum. Now, your legs were spread apart, bent at the knees, just kind of hanging in the air. And I liked the way you were touching me. I also liked looking at your gorgeous legs, watching them bounce a bit every time I thrust my hard cock into you and my pelvic area slapped against yours. I liked the way you were so comfortable and relaxed with me. I was always amazed at how beautiful you looked, how truly sexy your body was! I felt so proud to be with you and knew there was no one I'd rather be with. Nobody could turn me on the way you could. Nobody else had that adorable smile. Nobody could look as sexy as you and look like an angel at the same time. To me, you're a sexy beautiful angel, the one and only. And my most favorite thing ever...was fucking you!
You noticed again how I was sweating. More this time. You could see drops streaming down my body here and there. Suddenly, you felt two large drops, one right after the other, plink plunk, on your stomach. You looked down and saw another big round drop fall from my stomach on to yours. Then a drop fell on your left breast. You looked, noticing how wet my chest was. A streaming glistening drop of sweat ran down my muscular arm, catching your eye by how it reflected in the light.
Then it dawned on you how hard I was working. You were about to tell me to calm down or take a break. Then you thought of why I must've been working so hard. Of course, he wants me to cum, you thought. But he didn't because he's waiting for me. The realization of this and seeing me sweat...turned you on wildly much!! It made you high. Oh my babe, you thought. Of course I'll cum for you. Always for you, honey, always.
So, you decided to really concentrate. Although, actually, it didn't turn out to be so hard at all. Having my strong sweaty body over you was quite a turn on! In the next few seconds you figured out, really, you were a lot closer to an orgasm than you imagined. Actually...you could easily manage it about anytime now.
I heard you moan about a minute later. A soft moan, followed by more moaning. Louder. Then your body seemed to tense up and get hard. Your head lifted off the pillow. You moaned loudly, set your head back down. Then came more moaning. Your head rolled and whipped back and forth, side to side.
You felt as if a bolt of electric pleasure jolted your body. BZZZZZZZZZZ!!!! That was when your head lifted and as this thing continued, the orgasm, your head thrashed from side to side. Not on purpose, of course. It just happened. It was a really wild massive electric orgasm!:) Then the moaning began to fade. Your heart began to slow back down a bit.
"Cum in me," you whispered, still breathing heavy, just barely recovering from your own orgasm. "It's okay," you tell me, pulling your knees up towards your chest 'cause you know I like that position a lot. You held your legs together over your chest. "Do it, honey. Cum! It's okay. Cum in me!!"
And a half minute later, I did!:D Mmmmm, holy good freakin' mother of God, did I want and need that so soooo bad!!!!! This time I was doing the moaning. I let loose, let it all go. And like an elephant that hadn't peed in a week, I came inside you. My body rocked and rolled. You waited, then lowered your legs and held me, feeling me finish my orgasm, filling your pussy with the last drops of a thick wet passionate load of fresh sperm...
Wow, it was such a big exhausting completely cRaZiLy satisfying orgasm!!!:D When I was done and sure I squirted all I could into you, I settled myself gently in your arms. You held me, your sweet arms and beautiful legs wrapped around me. And we both started to laugh...
You rubbed my back, feeling how wet I was and laughed even more. Which, of course, got me laughing even more too.:) Hee hee...
We lay there for awhile, just like that for several minutes, holding each other, relaxing, kissing, caressing each other. Until you felt something cold and wet beginning to run down between your legs. All that cum I squirted in you...some of it was starting to run out.
"Wait here," you whispered in my ear, "I have to go to the bathroom."
You got out of bed, up on your feet and as you took the first couple of steps, you felt how sore your legs were, like you just had a hard workout. You walked slowly towards the doorway as I watched you.
I love your body so much! I so love to see you with nothing on. You look like a Goddess to me, the most beautiful Goddess ever.:) I waited and then watched carefully as you came back in.
"What?!" you asked, smiling, feeling slightly awkward about the way I was studying you.
"You're just soooo sexy!" I say, grinning. "And it's my turn." I got up to go to the bathroom just as you were getting back on the bed.
You stared intently at me, smiling, teasing me. "Mmm, what an ass you have!" you say, rather proudly and loudly. "Yummy! Hot!! Come back soon, babe!"
I hear you laughing as I enter the bathroom to pee. (I usually have to pee after sex.:) I'm smiling just then, thinking about how cute and sexy you are.
While you were lying on the bed by yourself, images flashed through your mind of how I was fucking you, how hard I was working, how much I was trying to please you and make it good for you. And then...you had an idea.
I came back, entered the room and was immediately stared at intently by you. I smiled. Then you sat up, never taking your eyes off me, stuck out your tongue and panted like a dog. I laughed. Just what you were going for. Your eyes sparkled. You had this devilish smile on your face now, like you had some evil plan, as I began to get on the bed beside you.
"Lay on your back, sweetie," you say to me.
I lay on my back right next to you. You were laying on your side, your head propped up on one hand and the other arm you put over my chest and began caressing me. Slowly, your hand began caressing me all around, my chest, my stomach, back and forth, up and down, circling, gradually moving lower and lower. You watched my penis, curious to see if there was any reaction. Usually, there would've been already. You smiled wide, thinking how good that last orgasm must've been for me. And then you began lightly, affectionately, slowly and more firmly, rubbing and caressing my hips and pelvic area.
I look at you as if to ask what are you doing?!
"More?" I ask, seeming surprised.
"I don't know, " you say so sweetly and so innocently, yet you still look like you have some evil plan in mind. "Maybe."
You go on caressing me, your fingers sliding and moving around my crotch, touching my penis more and more, calmly curious about when it would start swelling and get big again. But nothing happened. Not yet anyway.;)
"You came really good, huh?" you ask me in that completely sweet and innocent tone.
"Yeah. Really good!!" I say, smiling happily.
"That's nice, " you say. Then you begin to move down on the bed and before I know it, I see your beautiful face down there kissing my dick. "You know what?" you ask sweetly. "Tonight I want you to fuck me in my ass."
You look up at me, smiling so adorably, so calm. Just then I'm thinking you like an angel to me, the most beautiful angel I've ever seen. Then you're looking down at my dick again as if expecting something. But...nothing happened. Your evil smile returns. And you continue your words...
"I want your big dick in my tight little asshole," you say, picturing us doggie style in the living room, on the carpet, me in your ass and you working a vibrator in your pussy at the same time. "I want you to fuck my ass tonight and keep fucking me 'til you cum!! Mmmm, all up inside me, right in my tight sweet lil asshole!!"
And then I feel your wet mouth take my whole penis into it and begin sucking. I'm looking down at you, feeling your wonderful mouth on me, your tongue swirling all over. I feel one of your hands holding my balls. And then it happens, my dick starts blowing up, getting bigger, expanding like a slowly inflating balloon. About a half minute later, it's so huge and hard, you have to stretch your lips over it. You can barely manage to fit half of it in your mouth. I'm breathing quick and shallow breaths as you suck and lick and kiss it all over. My eyes are half closed. Reality slips away. I feel like I'm floating somewhere in another world. Your pretty mouth is on me and that's all I care about, all I want, everything I need...
Then you stop and begin to move your body back up towards me, 'til you're sitting over me, right over my big cock. I feel your fingers reaching for it, holding it, guiding it, putting it in your pussy. I feel you sit right down over it. You were still wet with sperm from before and it slipped right into you. You began moving yourself up and down on it.
"Mmmmmmm," you moaned. "You feel so so gooood."
I start to pump my hips towards you. I do that a few times as you move yourself up and down over me.
"Babe, you don't have to do that," you tell me sweetly, "unless you really want to. I just want you to lay there and let me fuck you. Let me be nice to you. I wanna do for you what you did for me. You just lay there, sweetheart, and I'm gonna keep fuckin' you 'til you cum, okay?"
"Uh huh. Okay," I say, very happily agreeing.
You start off slow. I see your eyes are half closed, not looking at anything in particular. I watch you as a vocal, "Mmmmmmmmm..." comes from you lips and you breathe deeply in and out, moving yourself on me. I love watching your beautiful face and seeing your gorgeous body moving up and down over me.
I let out a little moan, "Uhhhhh..."
Your eyes open wide and you look at me, slowing down your movements and then stopping. You lean towards me to whisper something in my ear. "You're so beautiful," you whisper to me. "So beautiful, so sweet, so sexy," you say softly and kiss me on the mouth before sitting up to continue.
Not long after, things were getting faster. You give me a playful slap and tell me to spread my legs. And then..."Be my shaved lil slut and just lay there and let me fuck you," you tell me. And then more words come, stuff you don't say often but you know it turns me on when you do it occasionally. So, you continue with, "You're my little fucktoy! Don't move, honey. Be my slut. Lay there and let me get off on you. I'm gonna fuck you for awhile now, okay? Mmmmm, you're doin' good, baby. Yeah...mmm.......just let me fuck you..."
I feel your wet pussy moving faster and faster over me. At some points, you slam your body hard against me and it begins to happen more and more. You're almost moaning, sort of, but not really. It was more like grunting. I liked it!:) :P
"Mmmm," you say, looking at me, "you're doin' so good! Put your hands over your head, sweetie. Enjoy. Be my sexy shaved slut. Surrender to me," you say, winking and smiling to me.
I raise my arms, letting my hands lie on the pillow, one hand near my head and the other above and off the side. And I liked it!!! So much. And you just went on moving up and down over me, still working your sweet pussy over me trying to do it even faster. And harder!
Sometimes, you'd pause, lean down, kiss my face, my mouth, whisper things to me, kiss my neck sometimes, suck on my nipples occasionally. Everything was so nice, so perfect and I was enjoying it all so so very much!!:)
It all went on for quite awhile. Actually, it had been a little over 45 minutes already but it didn't feel anywhere near that to me. If I had to guess, I would've said 15 minutes maybe. I was having such a good time!:)
Your pauses were getting more frequent and I could see you were sweating. Your whole body was just slightly shiny and wet.
"Moan for me!" you said, bouncing really hard up and down on me. "Moan for me. Let me know you like it."
And I began to moan and make vocal noises. Not something I'm used to doing regularly, even though I love so much to hear girls do it. It was a little strange at first, but I got into it pretty quickly. It was fun.:) And it was turning me on even more to do that for you.
By then, I was in total heaven! Thoughts flashed and bounced. Stuff like...lying in bed in the afternoon and being fucked is the most greatest thing ever!!! And if there was one thing I could do, would love to do, forever and ever, this would be it!!!!:D And...things like.......please, my baby, my beautiful one, my sexy Goddess, never stop fucking me!!! Don't ever stop. Always do this me, lots and lots. Never stop or I'd absolutely die without it. I have to have it and with you, honey. Only you have that smile, that face, that body. Only you know what to do to turn me on, how to touch me, what to say, only you know how to put me in heaven and make me feel sooooooo good! And lost in such thoughts, a tear came out of one eye. It streaked down the side of my head. Oh, my sweet beautiful angel...I was just so happy being here with you...
I watched you sweating, bouncing up and down on me, pounding me. And I loved it!! I felt the wetness between your legs, watched your cute breasts bouncing...
I kept on moaning for you. It was all so nice, my hands still up, lying there, moaning for you, having you bouncing and pounding over me. Total pleasure swept through my whole being. It was absolutely intense, strong, powerful, pure and the feeling grew and--
BOOM!!!! My head jerked up. Intense moaning came from me as my head started to go back down, then jerked up and down a few times. Everything was wild, electric, out of control, totally crazy! Pure orgasmic pleasure and release filled my whole body and spirit. It was so intense, so concentrated, so amazingly pure, so full of energy, such pure pleasure my eyes felt like they bulged and rolled back in my head. All vision was gone. All sense of where I was or who I was completely disappeared. No thoughts left, no words, nothing but wild crazy kickass waves of pleasure buzzing, zipping, rocking, echoing throughout my whole body and mind...
The next thing I'm aware of is my vision returning, my breathing slowing and I'm starting to remember where I am. I see you sitting over me calmly and smiling so sweetly. My beautiful angel. I feel wetness, water coming out of my eyes and running down my head on each side. Just for a few seconds.
"You okay, honey?" you ask, leaning towards me and kissing me on the mouth.
"Yeah," I gasp. My voice seems to have gone somewhere. "I'm just so happy with you!" I whisper.
"Babe, you did so good!"
"Shouldn't I be the one saying that?!" I ask, noticing my voice has mostly returned.
"Okay. Tell me."
"You did so great, sweetheart," I tell you softly in your ear. "You're really good! Realllly good!! You're so good and so sexy and so beautiful. Thank you. Thank you so much!!! I love you."
"God, that's a lot of work!" you say, sounding exhausted. After you kiss me on the mouth, your head falls on my chest. "Oh my God!! Can I sleep now?!!" you say giggling.
I wrap my arms around you and tell you, "Of course you can. Go to sleep, my angel."
And you stretch out and lay down, settling your body over mine with your head on my chest as I hold you. I heard you tell me "I love you" and within 2 minutes, we fell asleep together, right there, just like that.

In The Park

We're sitting on the green grass in a park. It's a secluded area with a lot of trees around. It's a warm sunny day. You're wearing a mini-skirt and a cute top. And I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt. We brought a huge pizza and some sodas. We just ate. You're sitting across from me, your knees bent towards your chest. Slowly you spread your sweet legs in front of me.
We look at each other smiling. I look at your wonderful legs and my heart just about jumps when I suddenly notice you're not wearing any underwear!
Our sexual adventures together have been getting wilder and more daring. I've discovered you're so bad:P, bad in ways I never imagined you could be. Sometimes, I'm not sure if you're just continuing trying to shock me with things you suggest, things you let me do, or if this is just you and you really are that much into crazy sex anywhere, anytime. Whatever it is, I gotta admit, it's sure fun!!:P
You develop a huge smile at my reaction. Then your smile fades a bit and you look at me with big innocent eyes. You look down and away slightly, being obviously over-dramatic. Acting like you're shy, you flutter your lashes at me and pretend you can't look at me for more than a second at a time. Then you blow me a kiss, sooo innocently, so sweetly, and it was so funny I started to laugh!;) :D
You look straight at me now, the shy act gone. You're giving me this look, like, as if to say, here I am, I'm ready, whaddaya gonna do about it?
So far, everything I suggest, you've been completely willing, ready to do anything I want. Sometimes I suggest wild stuff that I think you wouldn't do, but I never sense a second of hesitation. You keep amazing me and I still can't get used to someone sooo sweet looking and so beautiful would be so into sex, not just sex but wild dirty raw fucking, anywhere, anytime and you never say no.
"Masturbate yourself," I tell you. "Make yourself cum. I wanna watch."
You look at me, still smiling, bring two fingers up to your mouth, stick them in, suck them, then fuck your mouth with your fingers for a moment before lowering your hand to your pussy and slowly sliding them in.
"I like your cock better," you tell me so sweetly. "I'll let you fuck me if you want," you say, trying to sound and look as innocent and shy as possible 'cause you know it makes me laugh. Plus, you suspect it turns me on.
"Make yourself cum," I tell you again. "I wanna watch you have an orgasm."
You look both ways. No one's around. You move your fingers in your pussy back and forth, breathing deeper.
"Mmmmm," you moan in satisfaction. Seconds later, you remove your hand from your crotch, raise it to your face and looking straight into my eyes, you lick your fingers. "I'm wet now, honey," you tell me, determined to get me into this, curious about how long it'll be before I pull my shorts down, stick my big dick in you and bang you hard right here on the grass in the park. "Please, fuck me. Please..."
Oh, sweetheart, my beautiful lover, it's almost impossible to resist. I have this image of pulling out my throbbing stiff cock, leaping on you and fucking you senseless right there. But just as you're determined to make me do that, I'm determined to be the one in control, the one who says what happens and when. I get the feeling you respect me more when I don't break or give in right away during the times you occasionally test me.
"I will," I say, "but not yet, honey. Do what I say and you'll get everything you want."
"Okay," you say with a little sigh. "Okay, sweetheart, I'll do anything you say. Anything." And you meant it. You already decided not to play or test me anymore. You decided you'd be sweet...in a bad way;) and you'd do anything for me 'cause you love me.:) All you wanted, all you ever wanted was to please me, show me you are mine, that you belong completely to me and you'd do anything for me, anything at all.
You put your hand back down to your pussy, slid your fingers in and moved them back and forth. It was mostly for show. About a minute later, you decided to get serious and really have an orgasm. More and more, your fingers would pull out and you'd rub your clit and around it in quick circular motions.
I enjoy watching you. Mmmm, so much. You're so so beautiful. And, oh my God, you're so so sexy when you masturbate! I always get completely turned on watching you. My cock was hard and throbbing already. I wasn't turned on just physically but emotionally as well. You look so beautiful. You're my dreamgirl, so incredibly sexy and beautiful. And I love everything you do for me. My heart floats and soars when I'm with you. I admire you, I respect you and I love you so much, my angel, with all my heart.
Sometimes I think everything is too perfect and being with you is too wonderful. 'Cause, oh my God, if I ever lost you, my lil angelbabe, it would completely destroy me. Now that I have you, I couldn't ever survive without you. And you knew that. You know how I feel. A few times, at night, in the dark, holding you close to me, I had started to cry. My body was shaking, tears running down my face. You asked me what was wrong. The last time, we were lying on our sides, your back to me as I held you close against me. I whispered in your ear and explained. I love you so much, it scares me sometimes. You're my dreamgirl and it would totally kill me if anything ever happened to you or you ever left me. You calmed me down by telling me you'd never ever leave me, not ever. And you said you'd give me all the sex I can handle, try to give it to me all the time. That way, you told me, when we're like 500 years old, we'll die together having sex 'cause we do it all the time and if I ever died and left you, it would kill you in a second. You told me how you loved me truly with all your heart and that's the last thing I remembered before I fell asleep holding you. And those thoughts flashed through my mind as I watched you and realized once again that every day you amaze me with your beauty and the way you make me feel and every day I think I fall deeper in love with you...
Your hand is working your pussy and clit real good now. I can tell you're close.
"Cum for me," I tell you softly. "You're so beautiful. Yeah, honey. Do it. Cum for me. Mmmm, yeah..."
You always like it so much when I tell you you're beautiful. Of course I'll cum for you, baby, you thought. I will do anything for you. I love you, I love you, I love you...
I watched as you're fingers rubbed your clit really fast. You moaned. Your eyes closed tight. You threw back your head and it twitched as you rubbed yourself and came...moaning in pleasure and relief and pure satisfaction.
Now you were looking at me, panting, legs still spread, leaning back on your hands in the grass.
I looked back and forth. Still no one around us. Only a woman with a stroller off in the distance but she wasn't paying any attention to us at all. A couple was walking far off in the other direction. A couple of kids somewhere else. And that was it.
I looked back at you. You sat, your breathing returning to normal, looking sooo sexy and beautiful. I can't stand not touching you a moment longer. I crawl over to you, lift your skirt, lower my head and begin to lick your pussy with such love and affection.
"Mmmmmmm," I heard you moan. "Lick me, baby. Don't stop. Mmmm, so good," you said, thinking what could be better than sitting in the park on a nice sunny day and having your pussy licked. You thought you were kinda too tired to have another orgasm. You figured you'd just enjoy it and let me lick you. But, a minute later, you were getting really turned on and thinking if I kept licking you for just a few more minutes, you could easily cum again.
And that's just what I did. I licked you all the way through another orgasm. Your beautiful body tensed up and shuddered as you came. Just after that, you pulled my shorts down, took my dick in your mouth and sucked and licked and bobbed your head up and down faster and faster on my huge thick cock. I started to cum. You held my cock and balls with your hands too and masturbated me and sucked harder. My cock swelled and stretched your wonderful lips while warm sweet tasting jets of cum squirted and pulsed out into your waiting mouth. You sucked and swallowed as my hot liquid love juice ran into your pretty mouth and down your throat. You kept on sucking and drinking from me, greedily taking any last drops that came out...
Oh my God, having your sweet wonderful mouth on me, seeing your beautiful face at my crotch, feeling that intense sexual pleasure and watching you happily drink from me...it's not just physically hot, but emotionally as well. I so love knowing you'll do this for me anytime, that you like it, that this makes you hot for me and want me even more. And I feel how much you love me by the way you do it, the way you use your mouth and hands on me, the way your body language tells me you love me and you're mine and you'll do anything for me, anything at all. I love you too, honey. SO much!!!!!!!
Well, after all that, we were hungry!:) :D So, we finished the pizza and had some more soda. Flashes of what else we could do zipped through our minds also. Maybe a 69. Maybe doggy style. Maybe both!!;)
Mmmm...such a nice day with you in the park.

On The Couch

We're living together and it's a typical day. Our sex life is good.:) Reallllllly goood.:D We're free with our bodies and there's no shyness or shame about getting naked if we feel like it. Sometimes, we masturbate each other. Sometimes, we touch ourselves and masturbate while the other just watches or helps. I've found out for real that although you look sooo nice and innocent and sweet...you're bad! Oh my God, so bad!!!:P I've found out you don't mind what sexual things I do to you. I've tied you up, fucked you in every position I can think of, fucked you while you were sleeping, found out that while we're out...anytime, anywhere, any urge I have, anything I want, you never say no. Every day is like living in a wild sex fantasy with you. But it's all real!
You're laying on the couch watching TV. You have on a short skirt, 'cause you've found out it turns me on when you wear those. (I looove looking at your legs!:) I never know if you're wearing underwear, 'cause sometimes you don't and more and more you don't wear underwear while we're at home 'cause you've found out that turns me on and tempts me to touch you more and do stuff. You're wearing a small top. Often, you're nude for me at home, which I love very much:) but right now you have a short skirt and top on. And you never wear a bra at home. You love when I hold your breasts or suck your nipples. You don't want anything to get in the way of that.;)
I walk over to you. I'm naked. We're naked with each other so much, we're used to it and it's no big deal. Your eyes are on the TV and you barely seem to notice me until I'm standing right by you with my crotch near your face. I'm horny!:P
"Hmmm?" you look at me smiling, suspecting what I want. You think you know, but you like it when I tell you exactly what I want.
"I'm horny."
"Mmm hmmmm," you say enthusiastically and totally unsurprised. You look back at the TV.
I'm imagining you taking hold of my penis and my smooth balls with your hands and then taking me into your mouth and sucking me to a full erection. But nothing happens.
"Suck on it," I say. "Please..."
You smile. You were pretty sure that's what I wanted, but you don't like to guess. You like it when I just tell you to do stuff. You get turned on by being told what to do. And it takes out the guessing. Then you know everything you're doing is exactly what I want and it will please me and get me off, make me cum. And you like it so much to know you're pleasing me and doing everything just right, all the things I want.
You turn your head towards me again, staring straight at my dick. It's not erect now. It looks so cute, so soft, so innocent and sweet and tasty but you won't tell me that 'cause I'm a guy and you know how I like to hear about how huge and long and big and strong and hard it is. So, you only smile, keeping those thoughts to yourself. Maybe you'd tell me another time, but not now.
One of your hands touches my thigh and slowly moves up towards my crotch. You like my legs. They're so nice and firm and strong. You love my legs. You think they're sexy, so long and thick and powerful, so very athletic looking.
You caress my smooth soft balls now, lean your head forward and your lips surround my penis. You take the whole thing in your mouth. It fits so comfortably in your mouth now. Not small, but not too big either. Soft, smooth, sweet, better than candy. You enjoy having it in your mouth, being able to have the whole thing in your mouth and suck on it. Something so nice and comforting about it. You love to have it in your mouth every day. And I lOvE to have it in your mouth too!!!!:D :P :) ;)
You caress my balls and suck on my cute tasty dick, enjoying this while it lasts, 'cause soon it will start growing and get so big the whole thing won't fit so nice and easy in your mouth like it does now.
My eyes move from the beautiful vision of you sucking me down to your gorgeous legs. I just love looking at your legs, sweetheart, so much! Oh my God, they turn me on!! So sexy! My eyes move slowly back up, looking over your amazing body until I'm watching your perfect sweet beautiful face again and how you so affectionately caress my smooth balls and suck on my tasty dick. I'm absolutely in awe of you, how beautiful and gorgeous you look and everyday I feel I must be the luckiest guy on earth. Not only am I with you, the sexiest girl I can possibly think of, but you will do anything to please me. And you enjoy it! I'm so grateful and happy to have you, such a sexy angel, a total love Goddess who enjoys pleasing me. It's any hormone tortured teen boy's wildest fastasy come true!!!:) And I am amazed by you every day. I know no one like you exists anywhere. There's only you, just you, and I love you completely with all my heart!!
And then it happens. My dick begins to swell and grow. You feel it thickening and expanding in your mouth. You moan. I feel you suck harder as it hardens and grows...getting bigger...and bigger.......and even bigger. You're amazed once again how something so cute, something so soft and innocent looking can grow and grow sooo much to become this huge incredible long thick firm strong hard wonderful cock!!!! You stretch your lips around it now and not even half of it will fit in your mouth anymore. You're so impressed, so turned on and feeling so lucky this big horny strong monster cock is all yours, all for you and it loves you just as much as I do.:)
I start moaning, grunting a little.;) Oh, honey...it feels so so soooo goooood!!! I get high off you sucking my cock, sweetie! You put me in a state of pure ecstasy.:) And it's not just physical pleasure, but emotional as well. My feelings for you are just as intense. I feel such pure true intense love for you. You're my dreambabe! My heart soars and flies, it floats and glides, my sexy angel. You make me so sooo happy! I know I'm yours, all yours always and forever, my beautiful Goddess. Always! Always and forever!!
Your sweet wet mouth sucks and sucks. You bounce your head back and forth on my big cock, faster and faster. You like making me cum for you. It's difficult to describe why, to explain your feelings, but it means so much to you to have me cum for you, inside you, on you, whatever, but always with you and no one else. Just as much as I want to cum in your mouth, just as much as I enjoy it, you want it and enjoy it too! You like that proof of my feelings towards you, proof that I feel so intensely about you that my body shakes, I orgasm and special hot cream erupts from my body, right out of my big hard cock, just for you and only you...
You go on sucking on my giant cock, your beautiful face bouncing over it faster still...
Oh, my angelhoney, it feels so GOOD!! The tension is building up in my body. Soon I need to release. And I love knowing when it happens, you'll be there to take care of me. You'll take everything I give you all in your mouth down your throat into your perfect body. I want to cum so bad. I want to give all my sperm to you, my dreamgirl. It's so intimate, so sexy, such an amazing turn on that you, my sexy beautiful Goddess, will take all my warm cum in your mouth. I can squirt out all I've got and I know you'll take it all! You'll suck and drink and drain every last drop from me so affectionately, so lovingly.
You're waiting for me to cum. You want me to orgasm and cum right in your mouth! You want to know that you turn me on and that I love you. You want to show me you love me too and drink my love for you, drink it all up. You want my big hard sexy strong cock to erupt with feeling for you, feel that love juice flood your mouth, sense my body shaking and trembling and cumming all for you. You want it so bad. So, you suck even harder and faster...
And then it happens. My lower jaw quivers. A long deep moan begins. My body stiffens. Muscles tighten. My whole body trembles and shakes slightly as my big thick cock swells up even more in your mouth and hot sweet liquid love pulses and squirts and jets out hitting the back of your throat. You swallow and your mouth starts to fill up again. You swallow again. Your mouth fills up. You swallow a third time...
My eyes are half closed. I'm looking down at you, watching you drink from me. All my cum you gulp down your throat and I am yours completely! I love you with all my heart, my lil dreambabe.
My cock is shrinking. The trembling and shaking in my body is gone. You go on sweetly sucking my cock, swallowing any last drops that come out. Then you kiss my shaved crotch several times, press your beautiful face against my naked hip, look up at me and tell me you love me.
"Take off your clothes, sweetie," I tell you calmly.
And you remove your top and toss it on the floor. You had no bra on, so I'm looking at your sweet wonderful breasts as you take off your skirt and toss it to the side. No underwear. So, you're completely naked now and lie back on the couch, waiting for what I'll do or suggest next.
I look over your beautiful body. Slowly, I get on the couch too and settle my body gently over yours. My crotch settles over one of your sexy legs and I lay my face down on your chest for a moment before I start to suck softly on one of your delicious nipples. Soon, I change to the other nipple and suck on that one. Mmmm, sweetie, your nipples are so perfect, so so good, so wonderful to lick and suck on. I love them so much!
Meanwhile, more and more, I'm grinding my crotch against your upper thigh, beginning to hump your leg more and more. You feel my cock expanding and growing again. Soon, it's huge and hard. You like the feel of my big hard horny cock rubbing against your bare leg. It turns you on! You're getting wet.
Not long after, I shift and arrange my body higher over you, aligning my crotch with yours, as I begin insistently poking and thrusting my big stiff cock at your pussy. My cock stabs several times right at your wet pussy until the head slips slightly into the folds where the wetness comes from. I stop, holding my position, and then begin slowly humping, trying to work that nice big cock into your sexy wet lil hole.
You spread your legs wider. You pump your hips up towards me, gently humping and thrusting against my cock to help get it into you. You're very wet now but my cock is really huge.:) It takes a bit of work to get it into you. Finally, as you're humping towards it and I'm trying to ease it into you, at last it slides in.:) You push up as I push down. It's in you all the way now. Mmmmmmmm, pure heaven...
Your cute lil ass slowly falls back to the couch and my hips follow you. My big thick cock is thrust deep inside you, my crotch pressed tight against yours. And you enjoy the feeling of that huge stiff hard cock filling you so completely, so perfectly, just as much as I enjoy being inside you, my love. Oh...sweetheart, my sexy darling, my beautiful lover, the one I adore and admire, the one I love above all others, my Goddess.......you feel so soooo goooooood, honey. My cock is home, where it belongs, where it's most happy, where it yearns and needs to be...inside you.
Slowly at first and then faster, I pump my hips moving that big nice cock up and down in your gorgeous sweet wet pussy. I start to fuck you...right there on the couch. And, oh, honey, my angelbaby, it feels sooo soooo good!!! Faster and faster I pump. My wonderful cock is moving up and down in you, bouncing now as I thrust it hard and steady up and down inside you. Mmmmm...
Your breathing is heavy now. Your heart is racing. You love this, lying naked on the couch, legs spread, me humping and fucking you so good and hard. And I'm not afraid anymore to be hard, to be rough. You like it when I fuck you hard! You like my huge muscular body over you, pounding you and banging you so hard you feel completely helpless under me.
My thick cock bounces quickly inside you. My whole crotch bounces and slams against yours now seeming to knock the air out of you sometimes. My body goes on bouncing, thrusting that big dick, crashing against you. You're moaning now. Steadily and louder. I'm moaning too. But mostly grunting;) as I go on pounding you, fucking you fast and hard!!
You feel desire in your pelvic region, desire and lust so pure and true, intense and getting more intense. You feel an orgasm building up as my body continues slamming against you, my cock thrusting up and down in your sweet wet pussy. My body is slamming against you so hard, you'd swear you feel your cheeks vibrating and shaking from the jolts, from the impact of my body hitting yours over and over and over. Your orgasm is building like an out of control fire spreading heat and growing in intensity in a totally wild manner, ferocious, powerful, building to an awesome peak of explosion. Deep yearning dirty sexual need has taken you over completely. Your pussy is screaming for an orgasm, every cell affecting the one next to it 'til your whole body is lusting and screaming hard after an orgasm. And as my big horny huge cock thrusts up and down bouncing in your wet yearning pussy and my body slaps and slams against you over and over and over, you let go completely. I fuck you steady and very hard bringing you to an orgasm that makes you yell out. And your body stiffens and tightens, your pussy clenches my big cock as you cum. A truly explosive orgasm fills your spirit as well as every cell in your body, an explosion of passion, energy, and pure pleasure takes over. You let it have you, spirit and body. You let go and let it take you where ever it wants. And it's sooo satisfying, so pure, such a perfect perfect amazing crazy kickass powerful orgasm!!!!:D (I'm so happy for you, honey!!!:D )
Just as your peak begins to subside, my orgasm starts. And my huge cock swells and throbs inside you squirting my hot sperm into you with all my passion and love for you, my sexy dreamgirl...
As the adrenalin production slows and stops, waves of natural morphine pumps through my body. I'm in the ecstasy of orgasm. Pure pleasure. Pure happiness, so intense, so goooooood, mmmmm. I love you, my angelsweetie. Only you make me feel this good. Only with you are orgasms like this.
Minutes later, we're still a sweaty exhausted tangled heap on the couch, barely able to move at all and sooo happy. So happy and satisfied...

Sex In The Ocean

I wanna have sex with you in the ocean. I want your sexy legs, your sweet arms, your whole beautiful body all wrapped around me, the waves gently rocking us, our bodies so entwined and attached to each other that we become one. We passionately kiss as I'm inside you and we hold each other so close. Nothing matters but being together, just you and I. There's nowhere else and no one else we wanna be with, just each other. There's nothing on our minds but being together and pleasing each other as the water is all around us on a clear sunny day. We just hold each other and enjoy each other like that. For a really long time. Until the yearning and desire for an orgasm gets to be too much and we both just wanna cum with each other!:) My big wonderful cock swells even more inside you as we kiss. I'm thinking about how much I want to feel you cumming and having an orgasm with me.
Our lusting pelvic areas start pressing hard against each other, slowly relaxing, pressing again, moving slightly away, then slowly, firmly, pressing against each other again. Mmmm, so hard, grinding each other. You're so beautiful, my dreamangel! I want you!! And after several moments of grinding each other hard, we're now thrashing and bucking and banging against each other, breathing fast, hearts racing. It continues. On and on it goes. I love it so much, sooo much, honey. All I want is you, forever you, always you. Everything feels so good, so right with you, my sexy dreamgirl. We're together. Nothing else matters as the tension builds up throughout our horny lusting bodies. Mmm, so much desire, so much need and wanting and pure horny lust for each other as hump each other there in the ocean coming closer and closer to a huge powerful orgasm...
Your mouth is next to my ear. I feel your breath. I hear you moaning softly, grunting occasionally.;) :) It turns me on so much! And I'm wondering how close you are to an orgasm, 'cause I can't make it much longer.
Your head jerks away abruptly. You yell. As my big hard thick happy cock pumps you and grinds you, I feel your body tense up. Your body hardens. You're shaking. You're gripping me hard and I know you're cumming. Oh, my dreambabe, I love you! It turns me on so wildly much, I can't hold off another second. I need to cum so bad! I need it sooo much!!!!!!!
A loud moan passes through my mouth. My great big wonderful cock swells and expands one last time. I pump and grind and fuck you as hard and as fast as I can 'til I begin to cum. Mmmm, I love you so much!! I hold you tight to me, my cock pressed and pushed into you as far as I can get it in you as the last of my sperm shoots into your beautiful gorgeous sexy body.
We're both limp now. Weak. But I still hold on to you and you're still wrapped around me. I kiss your sweet mouth. It's such a nice kiss. It doesn't stop. My tongue is in your mouth. Your tongue is in mine.:) Everything is so nice, the blue sky, the sun, the waves pushing gently and rocking us as we hold each other close and kiss...

August 23, 2007

Naked House Slut

I was watching a movie on TV last night. There wasn't really anything on. I was just channel surfing and finally settled on American Psycho 2: All American Girl (from 2002). It had just started. It's a kinda silly movie, but the girl in it (Mila Kunis;) is sooo super cute! I had seen parts of it before but I don't think I watched the whole thing. Anyway, this time I did. It was fun.:P
Well, what I was getting to was, in the middle of the movie came some stuff I know I've seen before. I was lying there on the couch and my thoughts drifted off into sex, you know, I guess just 'cause I'm a guy and that's what happens all the time.;) First, I was thinking about what raw horny hot perverted things I'd like to do with the cute girl in the movie. And I reached down under my shorts and started rubbing myself. Soon my thoughts continued further and further out in fantasy land...

I was thinking about snuggling with some girl. Maybe she puts her hand in my shorts and starts masturbating me. Or maybe I put my hand under her skirt and start masturbating her. Then she casually tells me to take off my clothes so she can fuck me in the ass.:) I don't know, maybe she pulls out a strap-on from under the couch or maybe it's a vibrator. So, I take off my shirt and shorts and snuggle back up to her again so she can fuck my ass.:D
Except then, I guess I sort of thought, like, how realistic is that...? How likely is it I'd ever meet a girl who would be into that at all?
So, I thought, okay, it's a guy then. It's a guy that tells me to take off my clothes so he can fuck my ass. And I stand up, take off my clothes and snuggle back up to him so he can fuck my sweet smooth slutty sexy butt.:)
He enters me from behind and screws me for awhile. It's really nice. And he cums in me. It's beautiful and wet and wonderful. Then he holds me. He grabs my breasts and fondles them and--
Someone knocks on the door.
He tells me to stay where I am and not to put anything on. He stands up, pulls up his pants and puts on a shirt to answer the door.
I hear him at the door talking to one of his friends. Then I hear other voices too. He invites them in. All I have a chance to do is sit up before they're all coming in the living room. And he proudly announces to all his friends that he just fucked me.
They're all guys. They smile and make some comments about how nice it must've been. They say stuff about how sweet and sexy I look while their lustful eyes roam all over my naked body.
Exactly how it happened was a blur, but next thing I know he offers me to his friends. The guys start to sit down on the couch. I'm on the floor on my knees bent over with my face in some guy's lap sucking his dick. Another gets behind me and pulls down his pants. He's about to fuck my already wet sexy slutty ass. The other guys are just sittin', watching, waiting for their turn.
About that point, my fantasy flips back to being with a girl. She had a strap-on or a vibrator and was very busy fucking me when there's a knock on the door. She tells me to stay where I am and not to put anything on. She puts on her skirt and a blouse to answer the door.
I hear her talking to one of her girlfriends at the door. Then I hear other voices too. More of her girlfriends. She invites them in. All I have time to do is sit up before they're all coming in the living room.
"Well, well, well! What's going on here?" one of the girls asks and giggles.
"I was just fucking my boyfriend!" my girlfriend proudly announces. She comes towards me, bends down, kisses me, grabs her strap-on (or vibrator), shows it to her friends and says, "With this!!"
The girls laugh. They're all chatting amongst themselves. I hear words like "interesting", "wow", "exciting", "wild" and comments like, "My boyfriend would NEVER let me do something like that!"
How it happens exactly is a blur, but next thing I know the girls come sit down around me. My girlfriend offers me to them and says they should all try fucking me in the ass to see what it feels like.
I get on my hands and knees on the floor. They all take turns, one after the other while the rest watch and they all fuck me with a strap-on (or vibrator;).
Now my fantasy flips back to being with the guys. They've all fucked my ass and some came in my mouth too. They're all dressed now but they want me to hang out with them nude. So, they're munching on snacks, talking, watching TV. The guys sitting next to me would touch me all over, lick me, fondle my breasts and play with my nipples. And if anyone gets horny, he pulls down his pants and tells me to come sit my pretty ass on his cock. Or tells me to get on my hands and knees on the floor. Then he fucks my ass while everyone watches. Or he tells me to come suck his dick or just has me get on my knees in front of him so he can cum all over my face. Basically, I'm the house slut. They can pleasure themselves all over me or fuck me however they want. And I don't mind. In fact, I really love the attention!!:)
Sometimes, they held up their cell phones and recorded me. I didn't care what they did with their recordings. They could show it to all their friends, put it on the internet, whatever. I was their proud happy lil slut.:) Of course...if it were a group of girls instead, I'd be their eXtReMeLy proud WiLdLy deliriously very way happy lil slut!!:D

And there's nothing more to tell 'cause when my thoughts got that far...I was lying naked on the couch, masturbating myself really really hard and fast, my hand slapping loudly over and over and over against my crotch, my hips in the air and I totally came all over myself!!!
Then I watched the rest of the movie with my hand at my crotch to keep the sperm around there from running and dripping all over.
I thought some more about that stuff about being the house slut and masturbated and orgasmed again really good last night before I went to sleep. And this morning too!!:) And...I'm sitting here naked and ready. I'm gonna read what I wrote and cum on myself again right now!:D

August 4, 2007

Play With My Boobs, Cum On My Nipples and Fuck My Face

Oh my God, it's been so long since I've been with a girl. Maybe that's why I have all these wild feminine sorts of fantasies. I'm pretty sure if I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't even think about this stuff much anymore. I don't know. And I still don't know if fantasies about doing it with guys are only fantasies or if I would really do it. Maybe one look at some naked guy for real in front of me with hairy armpits and hairy legs (and a hairy butt, etc.)...and I couldn't do anything. I just really don't know. I write what my thoughts are and I'm being honest.

Usually, when I look at porn pics or videos, I imagine myself as the girl. I concentrate on her body, study it, and wonder what would it feel like to have a body that sexy, that smooth, that beautiful. I would love to know what it feels like to have a pussy and feel a nice big horny dick in it fucking me!!:P (I'm just not sure about everything else that comes with a dick. LOL.) What does it feel like to have your pussy and ass fucked at the same time??!! And another dick in your mouth!!:D Wow. (Sigh.) What does it feel like to be a beautiful sexy girl and totally everyone wants to fuck you...? And what would that be like to get lots and lots of money for having sex on camera? What is it like to look like that and have absolutely no problems getting sex? What is it like to actually have a sex life?! (Sigh. Sniff, sniff.)

So, yesterday, sitting naked at my computer...looking at porn, I think. Maybe not. I forgot what I was looking at. I think it was just before I started looking at porn pictures. Anyway, I had this overwhelming urge to have my breasts fondled. Hee hee. It's just something I've been wondering about an extra lot lately. Wondering if men could get the same enjoyment from it as women. Mmmmm, God, I wanted to feel hands grabbing and squeezing my boobs!:P Then I wanted someone to play with my nipples. Pinch them. Squeeze them. Pull on them. Twist them. Just...mmm, play with my boobs and nipples! And then suck on 'em!!:) I wanted my nipples licked and sucked. Go ahead and bite 'em a little.:) See how my nipples get all excited and stretch out and get long when they're pinched and twisted and played with. Mmmm, someone grab my boob, please, right now, and suck my nipple!!!:D Hee hee hee...
Then I was imagining things like a mouth at each nipple.:) Mmm, have 'em both sucked on at the same time...
Then I reached down and started masturbating myself, wishing with all my heart I really could have my nipples sucked on. I began playing with my nipples while I masturbated. It felt sooo good!! I do that sometimes, pull and pinch and twist my nipples while I masturbate. It feels really good sometimes!!!:)
I was thinking about things like...something I wrote about before, seeing a nice erect dick at each nipple. I wanna feel the heads rubbing over my nipples. Mmmm, feel big hard strong erections pushing and prodding at my breasts! Mmm, I wanna watch big dicks cum all over my nipples!!!
And that's how I had my first orgasm yesterday, masturbating, playing with my nipples, imagining a cock at each one. They squirted warm wet cum all over my nipples. My breasts were all wet and dripping with fresh creamy sperm. And that's when I orgasmed and came all over myself...:)...

Today's a little different. Today, I'm thinking someone should shove a dick in my mouth and fuck it!:P I'm seriously way out horny right now!!! Fuck my face! Come on, be horny for me, show me you're the boss and I'm your lil slut and just fuck my face!! Hump it and fuck it while I suck your dick and moan and I need you to drop me that big wet sexy surprise!:) Give it to me, baby! Fuck my mouth and leave me all wet and dripping with your big nice load of cum...:)...LOL...
I'm soooo f***ing horny!!!!! Please, someone, play with my nipples, fuck my breasts, fuck my face, fuck my ass. Use me for a sex doll and fuck me again and again and again!!! Fuck me all U want!!:) :D I want to spend the day being a dirty dripping wet naked fuck slut...:D...

Oh my God! See!! I'm going out of my f***ing mind. I need a girlfriend! Or something...;)...anything...LOL...

July 20, 2007

Glory Hole Slut

Are glory holes for real? Or is that just some fantasy thing on the internet...? That's what I wonder. It looks like a really great idea!:) I might like to try that. Such a nice, safe, anonymous way to play with a cock to find out how I feel about it.;) I've never touched another guy's thing before. I think I really wanna try this glory hole stuff!!:) I have fantasies about it sometimes.
So, you're in a bathroom or booth or whatever, then what? You just wait for a dick to pop through a hole or is there some signal you're supposed to give? Hee hee. I don't know. Sometimes I feel I wanna try it. (Sometimes I'm sure!:P Depends how horny I am.;) And...be filmed doing it!!:D I'd get my mouth and ass fucked good for the camera!;) :)
I wrote this fantasy. I started writing it late last week, worked on it a little, here and there, over the next several days, finished it a couple of days ago and...wOw, it came out way way longer than I thought it would! Oh my God!!:P Now, after all the time I put into this, I reallly hope you'll like it!:)

I'm in a small booth or bathroom. (Although I'd much rather do this at a bathroom...wow, a toilet right there if you need it, toilet paper, plus the chance to wash up a little after, yay...actually, I was more imagining this happening in a booth at an adult store, I guess. I've only seen pictures of girls at glory holes and for them it always seems to be in a bathroom. I don't know how it is for guys who, um, offer a mouth or ass for pleasure, but I did read a few stories. In those few stories I've seen so far, the guys talked about being in a booth. Anyway...) I'm there for the first time. And I know what the holes are for. That's why I came.
I see a hole in the wall on each side. A thick erect cock suddenly pops through the hole on the right. It's not a very long dick. But it is thick. It is ready. It wants some attention.
I pet it lightly. First the pink head with one finger. Then with three fingers along the top side of the whole thing. Then with four fingers on one side a couple of times. Finally, I hold it in my hand and stroke it from base to front a few times.
I hear the guy on the other side of the wall groan. He tries to shove his fat cock more through the hole.
My hand fell away. The sudden shift of that dick startled me. This is the first time I ever touched another guy's dick before. I'm kinda hesitant, but I start thinking about how this is most likely not the first time he's been here. He prob'ly not used to someone being shy. He prob'ly expects someone to know what they're doing and get him off.
I take a deep breath and gently place my hand around his cock again. I feel it swell in my hand slightly, subside, and then swell again as I held it.
Hmmm, I think he likes my hand. I give his dick a squeeze. I begin to move my hand back and forth on it. I feel his dick swell against my hand. When the tip swelled, it got all super smooth and shiny. Then it subsided. I rub it some more.
I'm thinking, hmm, just like jacking myself off. And I start imagining pumping that fat cock harder and faster with my hand. And then I'd stand to the side and watch it cum and squirt on the floor...
But...is that good enough? Maybe he's used to something more. And maybe I need to get down and be the slut I always thought I could be. (Well, the last couple of years, anyway, I've wanted to get really slutty!:)
I stop jerking his cock. I let go and take off my shirt. I carefully begin to get down on my knees but...the floor looks a little gross and sticky. I take off my sandals and my pants. I leave my underwear on and get down on my knees.
"Okay...okay," I'm thinking. "Get down on my knees and suck this thing. Service this guy. Let him cum on my face, in my mouth, whatever. Make him cum."
On my knees now. This short thick cock is sticking through the hole in the wall right in front of my face. I take ahold of it with my right hand. I rub my face all over it. It got me kinda horny! I was already thinking how much I want to feel his cum squirting on my face. I wanted it. I wanted it bad!
I stick out my tongue and lick the underside of the head a few times. Then I lick the whole thing on one side from base to front. Back. Forward again. I slowly stretch my mouth open and begin to settle my lips over the pink head. My tongue touches the tip of it and very gently explores the tiny hole at the end.
I bring my face further down over it, letting it fully enter my mouth. God, it's thick! I'm really stretching my mouth open as wide as I can, trying to be careful not to hurt it with my teeth. I get it in my mouth as far as I can and just stay like that for several seconds, getting used to the feel, sucking on this thick cock. I feel it swell in my mouth in satisfaction and then subside again.
Now I move my head back and forth. I keep my lips around his cock, still being careful to keep my teeth out of the way. I move my head back and forth feeling the cock moving into my mouth as far as I can get it to go and then back out 'til just the tip is in my mouth. Then forward again. Then back. I go a little faster. Then faster.
I'm already imagining him cumming in my mouth. I'm so excited! I want that cum!!! I'm bobbing my head back and forth now, keeping my lips gripped around that fat cock. I want that cum so bad!!!! I keep going at it. I'm doing the best I can. My nose is bumping against his hairy crotch. I've never done this before, but I think I'm doing everything right. Fast and firm is good, isn't it? So, I keep going at it. I'm waiting. I'm hoping he's as excited as I am.
"Come on," I'm thinking. "Cum! Cum!! Pleeease...cum, cum in my mouth. Cum in my mouth. I wanna feel it. Cum, cum cum..."
As I'm moving my mouth really fast back and forth over his thick cock, my lips clamped down, my nose bumping his crotch, my tongue licking the underside.......I feel it swell and subside several times.
I keep going. I'm slobbering all over it, sucking it real good. I feel it swell again. It swells a little more than the other times. Then more. I feel it just beginning to press against my teeth and--
Suddenly this big dick in my mouth shoots off! Oh my God!! WOW!!! All this warm wet stuff jets out and fills my mouth!
"He can't see me," I'm thinking. "So, it doesn't matter if I swallow or not. He doesn't know."
I let the cum drop out of my mouth. Three or four loud big plops of cum mixed with saliva drop on the floor.
I still work my face back and forth on his cock. I don't remember if he made any sounds, but I know at that point I was moaning. It was so exciting! So good feeling all this sexy passion burst in my mouth. I thanked him by moaning and keeping my mouth working his dick.
As his erection faded, I slowed down and came to a stop. I wasn't moving my face back and forth anymore. Just sucking him, exploring his shrinking cock with my tongue. The whole thing fit nicely in my mouth now. I swirled my tongue 'round and 'round it, waiting...sucking out the very last drops...
I felt him gently pull back. I lightened my sucking and opened my mouth a bit as this now small wrinkled penis pulled back through the hole and disappeared.
I heard some rustling with clothes and the sound of a zipper. He whispered thanks and then I heard the door in his stall open and shut. I heard footsteps walking away.
My heartbeat began to return to normal. There I was, on my knees, alone now, my mouth all wet, my chin still streaming with cum. I felt kinda dirty and used. I smiled. I liked it!:) Hee hee. I didn't wanna leave. I wasn't ready to go. I wanted more!! Mmmm, more cum, please...
I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and waited.
I began wondering how long I'd have to wait. Would it be a few minutes, a half hour? More??
I took off my underwear and stood naked in my little stall, smiling, anticipating, waiting. I wondered about how soon another cock might pop through a hole. Someone would want to be licked. Someone might wanna fuck me even!:D Hee hee...
I looked back and forth several times at each hole in the wall, licking the inside of my mouth, still tasting sperm. Nothing was happening. I couldn't hear anyone in either stall next to me. I reached down to my own crotch and lightly began to masturbate myself. That always make time go super fast.;)
After a little bit, I began to get discouraged. Maybe nobody else would come around. Maybe that's it for today. How popular could this sort of thing be? How many guys would actually know about this place?
I waited awhile longer. Still nothing. I was wondering if I should just put on my clothes and go or...maybe I should go ahead and jack off first. Hmmm...
Just then, I heard the door in that same booth next to me open and then close. I heard a zipper. Rusting with clothes. Then nothing.
I waited. Still nothing.
Then I thought, why am I being so quiet? Maybe I should make some noise, let him know someone is in here. Should I knock on the wall? What should I do? Hum? Whistle?
I grabbed my cock and got it erect again. I masturbated myself fast and really hard, letting my hand crash against my shaved pubic area. I wanted him to hear it. I grunted a little. I kept it up, really letting my hand slap against my smooth crotch over and over and over...
There! I saw something move past the hole. Then for a couple of seconds, I saw someone's eye looking in.
I froze and looked right at it. It disappeared.
Uh oh, I thought. Did he get scared? Should I have smiled? But there wasn't even time to react. Is he gonna leave now?
I heard more rustling with clothes. Then silence for a few seconds. Then........his cock popped through the hole.
Hee hee! :) :P I had a great big happy grin on my face.:D
Hmm. This one wasn't nearly as thick as the first one. But it was at least twice as long. It looked younger too.
I got down on my knees in front of it. The first thing he felt was my mouth surrounding his dick. I began the same motions as before, moving my face back and forth on it. I couldn't get it all in my mouth like the last one. Only two thirds of the way in. I worked that dick slowly and firmly. I was much more comfortable this time. I felt confident I knew what I was doing.
"Maybe this is the last one I'll get today," I thought. "And I've still never had my ass fucked. Maybe I could try that! Right now!! With this dick right here!!!":) :D
Uh oh. But I didn't have any lube with me. Darn. My asshole gets horny and then moist on its own but...prob'ly not enough to really get fucked.
I glanced down on the floor. Well...there was still a tiny puddle of cum left from the last guy. And while I sucked this new cock, I put my fingers down on the floor, got them wet with cum, reached back and spread it around my cute very tight unfucked assshole. I reached down for some more, but there wasn't much of anything left to get. So, while sucking on this guy's dick, I really let my saliva flow. I let it drip out of my mouth into my hand. I waited 'til I had a really nice amount before I reached back behind myself to spread it all around my lil virgin asshole.
I stopped sucking on that cock, pulled my face away and stood up. Feeling almost drunk in anticipation, I turned around and stepped back to bring my smooth sexy ass in contact with that dick. Mmmm, I felt the head right there at my asshole. I moved my hips up and down. I rubbed my lil asshole all over the tip of that dick. It felt big. Too big. Entirely too big.
"Oh no," I thought, "it'll never fit!"
I kept moving my ass around on it, trying to get it to fit in my pretty ass. It just didn't seem to be working.
Suddenly the cock disappeared.
I pushed my ass back to the hole, sure that my asshole was right where it needed to be.
"Come on," I thought. "Don't go away. Fuck me! Fuck me, please. Do it to me. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me...please..."
I felt the tip of his cock gently prodding at my tiny asshole. Mmmmm...he wanted in. I could feel it. He wanted to get inside me!:) He kept gently poking at me. Then a little harder. Harder still. But it just wouldn't fit.
I pressed my ass tight against the wall.
"Come on," I thought. "Fit. Fit. It has to fit. Please!! I want to be fucked!!!"
I felt his thrusts getting harder little by little. His attempted thrusts at my ass were happening faster too. Harder still. I grunted a few times. Then I just about screamed as his cock suddenly thrust up inside me! Good God, he totally slammed that cock through the hole like a bullet or something. It stabbed me and slid up inside me. Holy jeepers!! My jaw dropped, I grunted loudly, whimpered even, and gasped in pain.
He held still. He didn't move. I didn't move either. I was scared. I tried to somehow relax my ass. I pulled away just a little, not pressing so hard against the wall. At the same time, he began to draw back. I felt the head of his cock still in me. Then very slowly, he moved it forward again. It still hurt but not as much. He kept moving it very very slowly back and forth. He was being so gentle. Finally, it wasn't hurting anymore. Things seemed to be moving pretty well. I smiled. Then I realized I had stepped forward and my ass wasn't even pressed to the wall at all anymore. There was maybe an inch of space or more. So, I backed my little ass right up to the hole again. I felt his cock thrust fairly fast and hard in me just then. I was guessing he didn't mean to hurt me. It was only a horny sign of approval. In fact, it barely hurt anymore. It felt big and it certainly filled me up, that's for freakin' sure! But...it almost didn't hurt at all now.
He moved back and forth in my ass, getting faster.
"Holy cow," I thought, "I'm getting fucked!! Yay! Finally!!!" I smiled.:)
"Yes, baby," my thoughts continued, "go on and fuck that ass! Fuck that virgin ass all you want, hon', and don't forget I want all your cum in me! All of it!! Gimme all you got!!!":P :D
It felt good now. Oh my God, I liked it!!!! I gasped and groaned and moaned.
"Mmmmmm, yeah," I thought. "Do it to me, baby. Fuck that ass! Oooh, yeah...fuck me and cum in me! Come on, you could do it, fill me up. Show me what a man you are and fill my ass up with your hot cum!!! Fuck me, baby! Fuck it!! Mmm, fuck that ass!!!"
I was so excited and horny feeling him all the way inside me!! He was obviously really horny and excited too! That cock kept stabbing me, thrusting quite eagerly, hard and fast back and forth in my cute ass. My head twitched a little forward at every thrust. I felt my cheeks shake with each jolt. Mmmmm, oh my God, YES!!!! FUCK ME!!!!!!!:D
My face had broken out in a sweat. In fact, my whole body was starting to perspire. I felt kinda relaxed yet very excited at the same time. I continued to grunt and moan and enjoy being fucked.:) I lOvEd it!:D
After awhile, his cock swelled and I felt something wet being injected in spurts up my very willing ass. Mmmm, baby! Thank you so much, I was thinking. A few final thrusts and he was done. His cock shrank and seemed to fall out of me.
I kept my freshly fucked ass pressed against the hole just in case there was anything else he wanted. But I only heard the rustling of clothes and a zipper. I heard a casual, "Thanks, dude!" as I heard his door open and shut again.
"Dude?!" I thought. "Hmmm, nice fuck, but I really really prefer to be called babe or honey or sweetie or something."
I stood up. I felt something cold and wet streaking out of my ass and dribbling down the inside of one leg. Hee hee.:) It felt kinda sexy.;) I was turned on! My own cock was standing straight out, unbelievably thick and long. Fuck, I was so horny!!!
"Maybe I should put my dick through a hole," I thought. But...it just wasn't exactly what I wanted. I wanted.......hmmmm, yes, what did I want. I wanted a girl. Naked. Down on her knees in front of me. I wanted a girl to keep her eyes on my crotch and suck me off. And I wanted to watch her do it. That's what I really wanted, if I could have anything.
Wow. So, now what? Masturbate and go? Wait for more?! Hee hee. :P Could I handle more dicks...? Or maybe that was enough for today.
Just as I pretty much made up my mind to go, I heard someone come in that same stall. I heard a zipper, the same rustling with clothes I was now familiar with and before I really had time to think about it...a new dick popped through the hole.
I laughed quietly. Like, oh my God, how did he even know someone was in here?! Are the first two guys outside telling passers by to get in here or what? Ha ha. And before I could finish my next thought, another dick popped through on the other side!! Jeeeezus! What was going on? Is the news out about some new slut in the booth here or what. Oh my God...
Well...okay, two more...sure. Why not. "That's right," I thought, "just come to me, guys. I'll get ya off. You want me that bad, okay, I'm right here.":)
I got on my knees at the hole I serviced twice already. Yep, there it was. One new dick waiting for service. Of course, I can't forget the other one. Poor thing. He needs me too.:) :P
I opened my mouth and hungrily sucked on this new cock while reaching back with my hand to pet and stroke the other one. While I sucked and stroked and petted, I imagined both of these dicks orgasming and squirting away at the same time. Like hoses. All over me!:) Mmmm, the thought of more cum on me...and in me.....was getting me totally horny! Beyond horny!! I was some kind of zombie slutty freak that would do anything for more cum!!!:P I wanted it! God, I wanted it so bad...
I got to my feet and pushed my ass up against the cock I had been sucking. "Come on, hon'," I thought, "go on. Give it to me. Put your dick in my ass and fuck me, baby."
I bent down to suck the other cock at the other hole and I was thinking, "Come on, guys, fill me up! Fill me up! Come on and give me that cum. Show this babe you know how to fuck!!"
I felt a cock stabbing at my sweet asshole. The head stabbed its way inside me. It hurt. I was shocked and pulled my ass completely away. Like, what...? Wasn't my ass lubed up enough by now? Is it gonna hurt every time or what??
I continued sucking on one cock and carefully began bumping my yearning asshole against the other cock. I was determined to get that thing inside me. I wanted to feel that again, feel a nice big cock up inside me, filling me, stretching me, thrusting back and forth in me. Mmm, I wanted to be fucked again!!!!
I felt the head of it slip in my ass. I took a deep breath, still sucking on some guy's dick and began trying to lower my ass onto the other cock. Oh my God, it hurt. I wasn't sure it would work. Maybe this one was just too thick or something! I heard him and felt him humping that hole in the wall trying to get at my ass, trying to get deeper. God, he wanted it so bad! I could feel his lust.
"Ha ha," I thought. "Poor baby. I'm in control. It's all up to me how much you get and how deep you get in me."
I could hear him almost frantically fucking away at that hole trying to reach for my asshole, trying to get further in me. Each thrust actually got slower and calmer the more I lowered my ass down and let him get into me. Finally, my ass was fully pressing against the hole.
I felt him slowly fucking me. Each time his cock came forward, it seemed to go way far inside me! I'd swear that thing could reach my stomach. Then it would slowly retreat until just the head was inside me. Then it would slide forward again. I was absolutely sure this was the hugest thing I ever had in my ass and it went deeper up me than anything ever had before. Oh my God, was I getting fucked...
Mmm, two big dicks. One up my ass and the other in my mouth.:) I didn't know who these guys were or even how old they were. I had no idea what they looked like. I didn't care. I didn't even wanna know. All I wanted was what came through the hole in the wall. I just wanted them to fuck me and cum in me and go away. Hee hee.:P
My face broke out in a deep sweat. My whole body was sweating. I sucked on the one cock like crazy and now began to bounce my ass around on the other one.
"Come on," I thought, "cum! You guys can do it!! Come on. Cum! CUM!!!"
I was masturbating myself now too. I was about to explode and have a huge plopping orgasm all over the floor! I needed to cum!! But I wanted to feel those horny cocks unload their cum inside me first. I wanted it really ecstatically much! I was imagining all three of us could cum at the same time!:D That would make me wildly crazy happy!!! I was doing my best to make that happen.
Suddenly, I felt the cock in my sexy lil ass swell and I felt him orgasm. Mmmm, warm wet cum squirted in my pretty ass. Oh my God! It felt so fUcKiNg good!!!! I continued bouncing my sweet sexy ass on that cock to milk the rest out.
I felt my own cock shiver. I almost exploded into orgasm myself. I was trying so hard to hold back until I felt the other cock cum in my mouth. That's what I wanted. "Come on, please," I thought. "Please, cum in my mouth. It's time, baby. Come on, you can do it..."
I slurped and sucked and bobbed my face all over that cock the best I could. And finally, finally, I felt it swell and blast off in my mouth. Oh, fuck, yes!!! Loads of warm wet sperm filled my mouth. I let it run out and heard it plopping loudly on the floor below.
My right hand down at my crotch, I pumped and rubbed myself hard and as fast as I could. I groaned and grunted. I had such a beautiful orgasm! I heard my own cum splattering on the floor now. The dick at my ass was gone, but I still had my butt pressed against the hole. I still sucked on the other dick. As my orgasm finished, the dick in my mouth gently pulled away and back. It disappeared through the hole.
I stood up, my ass wet and dripping, cum running over my chin, down my neck and then down on my chest. Mmmm, oh my God, I loved being a slut!!!:D Wow, what a great feeling to get filled up, to know I satisfied those big horny dicks and guys had orgasms over me! Hell, yeah!! I wanted to be bathed in cum. Mmm, I like fucking!;) :P :D I lOvE fucking!!! I'll be everyone's sweet lil fuckslut!:P Hee hee...
As I stood there feeling glorious and triumphantly praising myself for being such a good slut, another dick popped through a hole. Like, huh? What? I don't even remember hearing anyone leave. I don't remember any thanks. I didn't hear doors open or close. And this was definitely a brand new dick. This one was dark. And...the biggest one I'd seen yet!
Jeez, I thought. I must really be high on all my sluttiness. I don't even know what's going on around me anymore.
Without even considering what I was doing or even if I wanted to, I turned around and backed my ass right up to that huge cock. But not too close. The first two times hurt in the beginning. "God, this one could rip my asshole apart if I'm not careful," I thought. "I prob'ly can't even get this one to fit."
Slowly, I sunk my ass down on it. It wasn't easy, but I did it. "Wow," I thought, "I must be really wildly stretched out and lubed up now."
I giggled quietly.
"Mmm K, hon', fuck this slut," I thought. "Stretch me out. Show me what a great big dick you have, mister. Fuck me like you want me. Fuck me like you mean it!"
And my next thought was a hesitant and very worried "uh oh" 'cause when that big thing started sliding back and forth, it was wild. My jaw dropped. My eyes widened. It felt like my asshole was being stretched to the max, right before it would crack and break. Jeeeeezus, this guy was so fucking HUGE!!! I gasped. My heart was pounding in my chest. I felt pretty much impaled and stuck on this monster cock.
I thought of pulling away but...it didn't hurt like the first time. It was more like I was scared 'cause I expected it to hurt. It wasn't too terrible though.
"Come on," I thought to myself, "it's okay. It's okay. Calm down. No problem. I can do this. It's gonna be okay. Everything's fine."
My breathing and heartrate evened out.
So, what's up now, I wondered. Does it feel good yet?
As this monster cock moved slowly back and forth in me, I realized I definitely felt really high. Hee hee.:) This great big fucking huge dick made me feel like it held my life in it's power. It owned me and I better be nice or this thing could pop through my stomach and kill me in two seconds. I just stayed there, sort of in a shocked motionless way and let this monster dick fuck me. At least it wasn't intentionally trying to kill me. It was moving nice and slow. "A romantic monster dick," I thought and giggled.
Did he hear me? 'Cause that dick was moving faster now. I heard heavy deep breathing on the other side of that wall. I think the guy must've been really big! Somehow, I had the impression it was more panting than breathing. Deep panting. Then his dick started moving even faster and so did his breathing.
"Okay, hon'," I thought. "Show me what ya got! Show me what a big strong man you are. Show me how much cum you got. Fill me up, mister!! You can do it. Come on..."
I realized now that I was panting. Scared. Exhilerated. Wanting him to cum and for it to be over, but at the same time...it was absolutely amazing feeling something that huge inside me. It didn't just fuck me. It totally owned me.
He never reached the speed and frantic sort of humping level like the other guys (which I was thankful for!), but this was absolutely the craziest wildest fuck I ever had! And when that thing swelled and shot off in my ass.......OH MY GOD!:P :D I sure felt that!! That thing was trying to hose out the whole inside of my ass!!! I heard the excess plopping on the floor below. It sounded like I was shitting.:P Hee hee hee...
And he really stayed in me for awhile, trying to pump every last drop into me...
His cock finally began to shrink. I was grinning in relief. Now I knew for sure I wouldn't die. This thing wouldn't shred me up and kill me. Everything was okay. I survived the monster cock from hell. Hee hee...
With a heavy grunt, he pulled his cock back through the hole. It made some kind of a slurpy suction sound as it came out of my ass.
I licked my lips, took a deep breath and slowly stood up. Warm cum dribbled and leaked out of my ass and down the backs and insides of my legs. Like, oh my God, was that an elephant dick or what?! How much sperm was that?!! I'm not gonna get pregnant, am I?:P Hee hee...
I heard the same old rustling with clothes. A zipper. He coughed, cleared his throat, opened the door, shut it and walked away.
I took a very deep breath and let it out again. Oh my God!! Total monster dick! Ha ha.:P
I looked down at my clothes, casually considering what to put on first when...guess what? Yes! I heard a door open and close. Before I knew it, yet another dick popped through the same hole.
I sighed.
Uh...like, is there a line or something, I wondered. Does this have an end? I can't be here all day and night, guys. Jeez. Sweet willing slut here needs to get home and shower and eat. Oh my God...
I looked down. Well...this one was quite small compared to the monster dick I just had. Actually, this one looked kinda cute!:P I bet I could have it up my ass and barely feel it. He could hump my ass like a bunny all he wants and it wouldn't hurt a bit.:)
Sigh.
Okay, I didn't want to let anyone down. One more fuck. What's the difference. I'm here to please...
I got on my knees and licked it before I settled my mouth over it. I began sucking. I heard moans of approval on the other side of the wall.
I thought, "I must be getting good at this. They moan for me now.";)
After a bit, I stood up, turned around and backed my ass up to that dick. It slipped right in me with no problem at all! Wow. No pain at all. Quick and easy. Wow, I liked that. I had a fond appreciation for this guy's dick!:) Nice one!:D
With my ass pressed against the hole, he fucked me. He fucked me quick and hard. God, just like a bunny! Ha ha. Just like I imagined. "Go, bunny, go!" I thought and almost laughed. His dick pounded away at my smooth hard little slut ass and it felt soooo goooood!!!
"Oh, baby," I thought, "yeah! Do it to me. Fuck me. Just fuck me like that!! Uh huh. Keep fucking me!"
I tried to breathe deep, but I think it was more panting. Quick shallow breaths. I moaned too. Grunted a little here and there. And he went on fucking like some crazy wild bunny:)...
I reached down and began to masturbate myself. Soon my hand was fucking my dick like another bunny.:) And I wanted to cum. But I wanted to cum with this guy. I wanted to cum right when he did. So, I tried my best to hold off.
At last, I heard some mumbling on the other side of the wall, then something like a yelp and he came inside me. Mmmm, I felt more cum shoot up me. I moaned. Just then I had my own explosive shuddering orgasm. Mmmmmmm, God, it was soooooooo fucking good!!!!:D Oh, baby, that was a hot fuck!!!!!!! Mmm, yeah...fucking good stuff...:D...
As my orgasm subsided, I heard the door over there shut and someone walking away. Hee hee. Like, wow, that was one quick bunny. Didn't even feel him take his cock out of me. Already hopped away, huh. Okay, I thought, 'bout time for me to hop on my way too.;) I was sweaty and exhausted.
Just before I reached down to pick up my shirt, I heard something move in that second stall next to me. I looked at the hole and saw an eye looking back at me. It scared me for a second. I froze, my arm reaching towards my shirt. Two seconds more and the eye was gone.
Like, huh? Someone else was there. How long had he been there?! What all did he see exactly...? At first, I felt mildly upset. It was, like, my privacy was invaded or something. Then...I was getting really turned on thinking somebody watched me get fucked!:D Wow. Okay. Yeah. Sure. Why not. Who ever wants to watch is welcome to watch!!! Hell, put more holes in so more people can watch!:P Hee hee hee...
Nothing else happened, so I picked up my shirt. But before I could do anything else, his dick popped through the hole. OMFG! I laughed quietly to myself. "Dude!" I was thinking, "do you know how much dick I've gotten today. Plenty! I'm quite satisfied, sir, thank you."
Sigh...
I dropped my shirt, got on my knees, took his cock in my mouth and began to suck it.
"Okay, baby, " I thought. "I'll take care of you. Don't worry. I'll give you the best mother fucking blow job you ever had, mister!";)
I licked. I sucked. I slurped away on his cock doing my absolute best to get him to cum. I thought I was doing such a great job but...a few minutes went by and he hadn't cum yet. I think he almost came a couple of times but--
Suddenly, I heard him say something. I didn't quite hear it over all my slurping. I like your mouth...? Was that it?
Then he said it again a little louder. Oh! Now I got it. I heard it that time. It was "turn around." Turn around? Someone at the other hole was watching? But how would he know?
I stopped sucking and turned my head real quick to look. I didn't see anything at the other hole. Although...I was pretty sure I heard someone over there.
"My body," I thought. "Turn my body around. He wants my ass!":) Well, I sure was stretched and well lubricated...hee hee...
I got up, turned around and sunk my wet well fucked sexy ass right down over his erect horny cock. It slipped smoothly right in me.:D
"Mmm K, baby," I was thinking, "there ya go! You can have my ass, hon'. Why not, everyone else got some." Hee hee hee...:P...
I happened to look up at the other hole in the wall. An eye was looking right back at me. This time, I wasn't scared or startled. I just looked at him calmly and smiled warmly. The eye didn't disappear. He stayed. He watched as the other guy thrust his cock back and forth in me. I exaggerated my facial expressions and moaned a lot to put on a show. I bounced my wet slippery ass all over that dick. He lasted somewhere around two minutes before he shot his sperm up in me. I felt it. Mmmmm, oh my God, it was sooooo good and satisfying! I'll never get tired of it. I love that feeling!!!!:D
The guy that just fucked me left pretty fast. I didn't care. That's the way I liked it.
I felt my ass dripping. I felt totally slutty and dirty and so well fucked!:P Mmm, sperm dripping down my legs, both my ass and mouth tired and sore and...still another dick waiting at a hole for me!:) Oh my God...
"Okay. Last one," I thought. "I can't do any more. I'm done, guys. It's been really fun but...this sexy babe is all used up for today."
I stepped over, turned around, sank my sexy wet dripping kinda sore ass over his cock and bounced my sweet pretty ass all over that thing!! Partly 'cause I was just plain horny and slutty:P and...partly 'cause I just wanted him to hurry up and cum, so I could jump into my clothes and get out of there before more dicks popped through the holes in the wall. Holy jeepers, what a day!:P
I panted and moaned and, anyway, yep, the guy came quick enough. Then he left.
Ha ha...my ass was totally sloshed and squishy and dripping now. I was one seriously well fucked babe!!!:P :D
I pulled a napkin from the pocket of my jeans. It was all I had to wipe myself up with. I wiped my face first, then my chest, then my legs. I did my ass last 'cause I knew that was the worst and one napkin wouldn't be enough. I did my best and dropped the now totally sopping wet napkin on the floor.
I got my t-shirt on, then my underwear, then my jeans, stepped into my sandals, opened the door and came out. Whew. No line.:P I half expected a line of cheering fans begging me not to go. Ha ha. But I was quite relieved no one was there. I shut the door and walked away.
As I was halfway to the door out to the sidewalk, some guy appeared out of nowhere walking in my direction. He was on his way towards where I just came from. As we passed, he looked into my eyes sort of like he knew me or was about to say something. I thought it was a little strange. I looked back after he passed me. I'm usually shy and would never do that, but right then I was feeling quite confident and comfortable with myself.
He was looking back at me too. But not at my eyes. Lower. I smiled as I turned my head towards the sidewalk again. Was he just checking out my ass?! I smiled wider. Just then, I was wishing I knew how to walk and sway my hips like a girl. How do girls do that?!! It is sooo fucking sexy!! Well, I wasn't about to practice now. Hee hee.
I'm sure my eyes were gleaming as I left the building and walked down the sidewalk. I was still smiling. God, I felt gReAt!:D Even though my underwear was damp 'cause my ass was still leaking sperm and I felt kinda dirty and my mouth and sexy ass were pretty sore...I felt amazing.:)
I kinda wanted to just be outside and hang out and enjoy the feeling, maybe stop and eat somewhere. I was quite hungry! Oh my God, all that sex takes a lot of energy!! But...I wouldn't enjoy it sitting down in my wet underwear and feeling all dirty, wondering if anyone can see dried sperm on my face or something. More than anything, I really wanted to get home and shower! Hee hee...

July 12, 2007

Gangbang Bukkake Slut

I was so freakin' super horny today! It's been hot lately and I'm pretty much naked all the time when I'm at home these days.:) It was so hot, I had trouble sleeping last night. Then today I was busy. Came home. Took a nap on the couch. Was quite awhile since I masturbated. Like, almost 24 hours or something which is ridiculously long for me. Oh my God, I was sooo horny!!! And when I get all super freakin' horny, my fantasies get very wild. I feel like I wanna do all the most slutty dirty things imaginable!!:P (Of course, sometimes, right after I cum, I'm surprised at myself and wonder, like, oh my God, what the hell was I just thinking about?!! Hee hee. Kinda like when I was a teenager, got all horny and went outside naked to masturbate. Sometimes, at night, under the stars, after I had my orgasm, I'd find myself in unexpected places.:P)

Okay, my fantasy today...(by the way, sitting on the couch working on this earlier, I masturbated 2 more times and I'm sure I'll need another orgasm or two later)...

I'm naked on...I don't know........a couch, a chair maybe, on the floor somewhere, a park bench or table...?:P I wasn't thinking about where it was happening, just what was happening. So, I'm masturbating, making a video.
There's a bunch of guys all standing around me. At least 4 or 5, maybe more. Yeah, more. Definitely more 'cause after one cums on me I want another to take his place.;) And, yeah, so these guys are standing around me with their big dicks out and masturbating over me. I don't know if they're all naked or just pull their pants down or what. I don't care. I was just imagining big horny ready cocks all around me!
The tip of a cock is pressing and rubbing against my nipple. In fact, there's a guy on each side, two cocks poking and pushing against my breasts. Mostly, they rub the tips of their dicks back and forth all around my nipples. And some guy is rubbing his big cock all over my face. Then he shoves it in my mouth. He fucks my face. I moan and groan, slurping and sucking away on that great big thing like a total sex hungry whore.;) :D
My right hand is down at my crotch. I'm rubbing myself. At least a couple more guys are standing over me masturbating right over my sexy shaved crotch. (Hmmm...can I have a couple more guys holding my feet and sucking on my toes?:P Hee hee. I would sure really like that.:)
I feel one cock squirting over my nipple now. Mmmm, I love the feeling very much. I look down to watch it finish cumming on my breast. His erection is fading but he's still rubbing his dick all around my nipple spreading his sperm all around...
Then I feel drops and blobs of hot cum dropping down on my crotch. Mmmmm, holy fuck, it's soooo good feeling someone cum on my smooth crotch as I'm masturbating! God, that turns me on!! I want more. More, more, more!!!:P The other guy cums too. More hot sperm squirts out all over my hips, my cock, my balls, my hand and my stomach. Mmm, I love it!! It's sooo sexy...
The fourth guy cums over my other nipple. Mmm, yeah, warm cum on both nipples now!:) And before I really notice what's going on or how it happens or even how many guys there are, one by one all the guys step out and a new guy takes their place.
The guy with his cock in my mouth cums. I feel his orgasm. His already huge thing swells excitedly and explodes in my mouth. Hot thick cum shoots and fills my mouth so fast I can't swallow it all. I swallow some and let the rest run out of my mouth and down my chin, streaming across my neck. Some makes its way down on my chest. Another guy takes his place but he's so horny he can't even wait to get his cock in my mouth. He just steps up and immediately cums all over my face. I smile and lick his cock a little before someone else takes his place...
Meanwhile, I feel more cum squirting over my bare chest and all over my smooth crotch and stomach. Guys are standing all around me masturbating and having orgasms all over me!! I feel my body being covered in cum. I feel it, sticky and wet, all over my skin. I see it squirting and I feel it dropping down on me, hot wet sperm streaming, dripping and running all over my totally super horny nude body.:)
Just as I think I'm at the height of ecstasy, I feel big hands on my small ass, squeezing gently, pushing me on my side and spreading me wide open. Someone starts shoving his cock up my sweet little ass...
I can't hold back my own orgasm anymore. I groan. My body tightens up, shivers and shakes and I explode wildly, cum squirting and shooting like crazy out of my own cock. My vision half blurred in the ecstasy of orgasm, I see some guy drop down and try to catch my cum in his mouth. As my orgasm subsides, he takes my penis in his mouth and sucks on me, waiting and hoping to drink every last drop.
The fantasy goes on with all these guys cumming on me, one after the other, over and over and over, also shoving their cocks in my mouth and ass, again and again and again, using me for a fuck toy...
When they're done, they all leave. I don't remember them leaving. I had a few wildly intense orgasms and may have passed out. I'm not sure. Maybe I'll remember later. I'm awake now anyway, left alone, exhausted and completely drenched in cum, my ass and mouth both very very well fucked.
I slowly start to stand up. (I think I figured out where this all takes place. A hotel room. Or, hmm, maybe a warehouse.) As I get to my feet, gravity pulls all the cum downwards. A little blob of sperm rolls down one breast, hangs in a string right off my nipple for a second and then falls on the carpet.
I feel cum dripping and streaming down my naked body everywhere, my face, over my lips, down my neck, my shoulders, my chest, over my nipples, down my back, my arms, my hips, my sexy smooth sore ass, my crotch. I feel cum dripping and running down the insides of my thighs, over my knees, over my bare feet even. A puddle starts to form at my feet.
I'm so exhausted, my legs are trembling.
I slowly take one step. The cum all over in my ass crack feels wet and squishy. I take another step noticing the sensation of sperm between my toes. I feel cum sliding down my body. I feel it dripping off my fingertips onto the carpet below. Oh my God, it's all over me. Everywhere!
I take a third step and I feel a big blob of thick sperm slide out of my very well used asshole. It plops audibly on the carpet. I feel even more sliding out of my cute ass and running down the back of one leg. I'm trying to remember approximately how many cocks had been up my ass but I couldn't. Everything happened in a kind of euphoric delirious haze. Non-stop cocks all around me, rubbing on me, excitedly squirting over me, thrusting back and forth in my ass and mouth passionately assaulting me, greedily pounding me, fucking me with such wild animalistic lust...
I smiled thinking that was surely the best I'd ever been fucked.:) It'll make a great video!;) :)
On my way to the shower, I see they left me a pizza:D and a note with hearts all over it that says, "We love you, babe!" :P :)

July 8, 2007

My Favorite Actress Wants To Do An Outdoor Video With Me

I had this fantasy a few days ago about one of my favorite actresses. I guess it doesn't matter who it is. Yesterday, I had the same fantasy about another actress.:P And at the moment, I'm thinking of yet another. Hee hee. (You can see my list of favorite actresses near the bottom of Julian's Blog: 2007.)
The fantasy itself I had sitting naked on the couch, my legs spread wide, rubbing myself, holding my horny erect cock firmly and pumping it with my hand real real good and hard.;) I'm sittin' here naked now writing this and gettin' all horny thinking about it!:P
In the fantasy, the actress is my friend. She knows about my website. I joke a lot with her about how she should get naked with me and we should make a video together. It always makes her laugh.:) (But we both know if a video like that ever came out, it would make news all around the world and likely destroy her career.)
One day she comes over. She has the day off. She's bored. She broke up recently with the guy she was seeing. Her closest girl friends all seem to be working or out of town. (That's what she tells me anyway. Later, she admits she never even tried calling them.) She's dressed in a short skirt and tight little blouse. She looks like an absolute dream to me! I told her once how much legs turn me on. I'm wondering if that occurred to her at all before she came over dressed like that. (Why would she wear that?! What is she doing...?)
We go sit outside in the backyard with some drinks. (In this fantasy, I own a huge house in Malibu or Beverly Hills or something.;) We're just drinking a little bit and talking. She says she wants to do something fun, something wild and unexpected, yet it has to be close by 'cause she has to be at work early tomorrow. She tells me she's tired of work, sick of people with demands, expectations, sick of everyone telling her what to do and how to behave.
While I listen intently, I'm discreetly glancing down quickly at her beautiful legs and thinking "poor babe" and imagining how I'd sure like to kiss her. I'm thinking about pressing my lips on her sweet warm soft sexy thigh. I'm thinking about licking her. I'm thinking about all the places on her I especially want to explore with my tongue. I would soooo lOvE to make her feel good and forget about everything else...
I've always liked her. I think she likes me too but the timing was never right. Well, mostly...she's so busy with her career and never seemed to lack a boyfriend. Sigh. Sometimes, I imagined being with her but...I never really tried 'cause she was so busy all the time with work. And guys were always hanging around trying to talk to her, trying to impress her, just panting and waiting for the second she broke up with who ever she was seeing.
We talk for awhile and suddenly, all on her own, she brings up the idea of doing a sex video with me. I laugh. I'm expecting that to be the end of it, but she tells me to go get my camera. I'm totally sure she's only joking about it, but I'm curious how far towards the backdoor I'd get before she giggles and tells me to stop and come back. I made it into the house. I got my camera and came back out.
Right away, on her knees in the grass, looking up at me excitedly, she starts listing off what she will and won't do. She tells me she'll help me make a video for my site but...she can't be naked in it. However, she does agree to be in it and tells me she has no problem showing her face.
So...we make a video. I'm naked out there on the grass in the warm sun. First, she has me on all fours, squirts some lube on my tight lil asshole, spreads it all around the opening, sticks her finger in and moves it around for a while...'til I'm good and horny and ready for two fingers!;) She begins slow and sensual, then fucks me hard, her pretty fingers moving back and forth really fast, her fist slapping and slamming into me. I grunt and moan over and over and over feeling her sweet fingers in me, her hand crashing against my hard little ass. I'm so crazy thrilled 'n happy having her inside me!!:D
She giggles and tells me if I really want to be fucked good and make the viewers happy, I need something bigger in my ass. Then...she fucks me with a vibrator. Looking so gorgeously sexy in that mini skirt, she smiles and touches me, feels me up and down, calls me honey and sweetheart and such things, even tells me some of the positions she wants me in.
It's a long video. We use up the whole hour long tape. She works that vibrator back and forth in my tight firm ass so so good and does it to me in more positions than I can remember!! I moaned and grunted and screamed more dirty words than I ever imagined I could! At one point, she stuffed an extra dildo in my mouth and fucked my ass and mouth for awhile at the same time.:) She also sucks my nipples, kisses me (my mouth, my legs, my smooth butt, my crotch, pretty much everywhere!), rubs and caresses my soft balls, pushes that vibrator deep in me, works my ass real good:D and keeps me moaning and moaning through the whole thing. She grabs my cock too at some points and masturbates me altogether through several orgasms!!!!!!!:D I never came so much or felt so truly dirty and slutty and so tOtaLLy completely well fucked and happy and sexually satisfied like that ever before!!:D :P :)
The video ends with me naked in the grass, on my back, cum all over me and she's beside me kissing my mouth and moving her fingers around my stomach and crotch, getting her nice hand all wet with my sweet sperm...
Then she turns off the camera and tells me she wants me. She looks at me with big pretty eyes, a smile on her cute face and tells me she masturbates looking at my videos and she wants my cum and only my cum all up in her pussy, ass and mouth. Just at the word "mouth", she seductively slides her hand away from my crotch, puts two fingers all the way in her mouth and sucks them clean before putting her hand back on me to scoop up some more while telling me she wants my cum squirting and dripping and running down her face and nude body and more than anything she wants to my girlfriend.:D Hee hee hee. :)

June 22, 2007

Girls Pee On Me and Gangbang Me Outdoors All Day

Wanna hear about this fantasy I was having today?:)
Okay, I'm outside...sitting naked on some nice green grass in the sun. And there's this group of girls there. They're all standing around 'cause we're just about to make a little video. (Which turns into a long video, by the time we're done!:) They'll take turns holding the camera, so I don't have to worry about that.;) And there's, I don't know, 4, 5, maybe 6 girls there. They're still dressed. But for summer weather. Short sleeves, tight tops, dresses, skirts, or shorts, maybe one or two have pants on.
Now for the video, they'll come up one after the other and lift their skirt or pull down their pants or whatever and.......pee on me.:) For the first one or two times, I just smile, wait, and while they pee on me I touch them a little bit, feel their gorgeous smooth legs, rub the pee on myself. I love it. I think it's sexy and I'm having a good time.:D
Then I start to masturbate as the others come to pee on me. The girls are all giggling and having a great time with this!:P After they've all peed on me, I keep masturbating. I lie on my back, rubbing myself. A couple of the girls come over and sit with me, touch me, rub their affectionate pretty hands on my body, feel me all over...especially around between my big strong legs.;) Then they bend their heads down and start sucking my nipples too and playing with them, pinching and pulling, twisting and turning. The other girls are just standing over us and watching. Finally, I have this wild explosive shuddering orgasm and cum on myself.
The girls put their pretty faces down on my crotch and stomach, lapping up the cum.
I'm totally satisfied and happy.:) But...after seeing me cum like that, now the girls are turned on!
As I regain full consciousness following my after orgasm daze, I see the girls pointing the camera at each other as they take off their clothes and throw everything onto the grass.
They're smiling and giggling, all standing around me, all with one hand between their legs. One girl is holding the camera. They're standing around me in a circle now and masturbating.:)
I sit up to get a closer view. It's all so exciting and I'm moving my head around and back and forth trying to look at them all at once. They're all so cute and sexy.:)
After a little bit, one girl steps up, sort of straddles my face and I begin to lick her. Before I know it, they're all taking turns stepping up, with their legs on either side of me, shoving their sweet wonderful pussy in my face to be licked.
By now, I'm all horny again. The video continues with each of them lying or sitting over me and fucking me in the grass 'til each one cums. Of course, I couldn't get through all of these beautiful babes without cumming myself a few times. So, there were a few points we kinda had to take a break from the actual fucking and the girls would take turns lying between my legs, licking my crotch all over, sucking my balls, sometimes another would sit by me and suck on my nipples. Or my ears. Or kiss my mouth. Beautiful long deep tongue kisses.:) They'd keep it all going 'til I got hard again.
We finally finished the video and I had so many orgasms, I don't remember how many!! I'm completely satisfied and totally happy:D and way exhausted... But...each of them only came once or twice. They're flopped out on the grass giggling and start telling me it's my turn to satisfy them!
I pretty much spend the rest of the day fingering them, thrusting my fingers in and out of their wet pussies, licking them, getting each girl to cum enough 'til she says she's okay. Of course, after awhile, watching all these beautiful hot girls having orgasms turned me on! Again!!! I was pretty much done with them all but a couple of 'em still had the energy to fuck. So, we did.
Then...we all hung out naked, had a big barbeque and ate and drank 'til we got horny aGaiN!:D :P :) Hee hee. (I think there was a pool nearby too.;)

Anyway, that's how I had my first orgasm today, lying naked on the couch, on my back, legs spread, under the open window, rubbing myself, playing with my nipples, having this fantasy.......'til my body eventually tightened up and my whole body, including my head, jerked and spasmed and I squirted cum all over myself...:)...

June 19, 2007

I Think I Would Suck Dicks and Be A Fuck Slut

Is it possible to brainwash yourself from looking at too much porn?:P
I realized yesterday that the idea of sucking cock seems absolutely natural and normal to me. I've been fantasizing a lot lately about sucking cock. I feel like I'm supposed to suck cock.
I haven't always felt this way. This has been something I've been thinking and fantasizing about seriously more and more within the last year or so. I've gone from no way, never in a million years, to a maybe within the last couple of years, to now where I really think I wanna try sucking cock on camera!!!:P I want it recorded!! Something about having it recorded turns me on vErY much.:) I get all horny thinking about it!
I wanna be a good lil naked cutie slut just like all the girls who do porn!.:D LOL. Mmmmm...cum all over my face, in my mouth, wet sperm dripping down my nude body, dripping out of my sweet freshly fucked asshole...
Oh my God, see what happens from looking at too much porn! LOL.
In fact, I'm sitting here naked now rubbing myself every so often as I write this, fantasizing about doing porn movies, having my naked body used and fucked by men and cummed on...
Wow...
I suppose some people would think from my fantasies, at least the ones I've put on this page so far, that I must be gay. That I totally want to be with guys and guys are what turns me on. Well. Not quite. Not really. No. It's more I want to know what it's like to feel like a girl. That's what turns me on! In at least half of my sexual fantasies.......I'm a girl. More than half. I love girls so much!! I want to look like that! I want to do what they do. I want to be that beautiful and feel soft and pretty. I want to know someone lusts for me, appreciates my body and wants to fuck me!!! I want to be desired, for someone, not just someone but people in general, to think I'm seriously hOt:) and totally sexy.:D That's what turns me on.
And...guys notice my videos. All the profiles I've had, all the places I've uploaded pictures and videos........thousands of people have seen me naked. Girls pretty much never say anything. Girls don't look at my profiles. Basically, I don't even think girls watch my videos. All the girls are too busy having a real sex life to even bother looking at porn or to write to someone. So, if a guy notices me, likes me, tells me he wants me...okay, I just wanna be a good lil slut and make someone happy.:) I want to be sexually needed and enjoyed. I think I'd let guys fuck me............mmmm, orgasm in me and pump their cocks in me and squirt cum up in me, fuck me silly;) :P.......(sigh)............yeah...............:o).......................on camera! I want it recorded. The idea of having it all recorded turns me on so much!!!! I want anyone who would enjoy it to see me naked and getting fucked real good...
Oh gosh...if I had a pussy, I think I'd be so wet I'd be dripping on the floor now...:)...LOL...
The tip of my...what shall I call it.......cock, dick, penis, sweet horny thing:), is oozing cum already...
I'm gonna masturbate now and totally f***in' cum all over myself..........imagining cocks inside me, bouncing in my holes, banging me with powerful horny passionate lust for my body...
...while they grunt and groan and mutter things like, "Mmmm, yeah, let's fuck this babe"...:)...(oooh, I like that one...say that a few times, guys:).........and "you're so sweet"............"so beautiful".............."soft"................"sexy".......:)...

June, 14, 2007

Please, Please, Fuck Me Doggy Style!!!!

I just shaved my legs. They're nice:) and smooth and soft. Sexy.;) I want someone to touch them. Feel me. Caress my beautiful legs...
I've been fantasizing about being on my hands and knees. I've still never been been fucked doggy style. Never in my whole life.:( I think about it all the time. Prob'ly every day!:P I want to know what it feels like. What's it like when a guy is so horny for you he has an erection and wants to get it inside you? What does it feel like to be bent over, ready and waiting, feel hands grab your hips, feel him push and slide that lustful big horny erection right into you...
What does it feel like to be wanted like that? What does it feel like to give someone else that pleasure, just be there, let someone have your body, fuck you, cum in you, relieve themselves in you?
What would it feel like to be filmed while it happens? What does it feel like to know something like that is out on the internet. Free. Anyone could see it...watch me naked and getting fucked. Would other guys look at it and wish they could fuck me too? Would girls like it? Would girls get turned on watching me take it up my ass, watching some guy fuck me, see him with his dick up in me and cum in me. Or on me. Would any girls think that was really freakin' hOt and masturbate over that?:P Would guys masturbate while watching me, imagining sliding their own cock up in me, wishing they could fuck me and cum on me too?:)
Yep, so many questions. So many things I've never tried. So many things I wonder about. I want to do it right now, be fucked doggy style.:D Feel an excited happy cock in me, feel it deep inside me, filling me, cumming in me. Maybe then I'll be rolled over on my back, my smooth sexy legs on someone's shoulders. Another cock enters me. I lay there, hands above my head, submissive, surrendered.......getting fucked, banged real good, used for sexual pleasure, feeling so satisfied and needed when he cums inside me...
Or do you want to see him pull out and squirt over me? Maybe you want to be the one doing it to me and cumming on me for the camera? Where? Where do you wanna cum on me then? Over my stomach? My chest? All over my face? Or while I'm being fucked, you wanna see someone else shoving a cock in my mouth? You wanna see me suck it? You wanna watch that hot sperm squirting over my face? Mmmmm, I think I'm getting lightheaded already thinking about cocks being shoved in me, being fucked in my ass and mouth, cocks cumming and squirting hot sperm all over me...
Oh my God, what would that be like...several guys so horny for me they all had erections and wanted to get their cocks in me.......hee hee:)...
What would it feel like? Would I like it? Would I do it once and be, like, okay, yep, tried it, not so crazy about it. Like, yuck, ewwww, gross, not interested in doing that again. Or...would I find out I like being a cock slut cum bucket whore:P and I want more...? Hee hee hee. LOL..:D
Now, here's a good question, why am I fantasizing about cocks in me instead of having some traditional hetero fantasy about girls? Well...hey, would some girl like to give me what I fantasize about??? 'Cause I know I would definitely lOvE that!:D I would love that SO MUCH!!!:) Maybe some girl out there would be willing to feel my big strong legs, feel me up all over and do my cute ass, fuck me really good with a vibrator or strap-on? Could a girl do that for me, take care of me like that, actually enjoy it and get turned on that I would be her slut, that I would surrender to her and let her fuck me deep all up in my ass. Or...is my general suspicion correct......that no girl could handle that, enjoy it, even be open to try being dominant? And how could I even dare say that? Well, from stuff on the internet, you'd think girls were very sexual and could handle anything. But...all the girls I've ever known...have been heartbreakingly shy about their bodies, conservative about sex, don't have much of a sexual appetite, have lots of rules and boundaries about what they will or won't do and where a guy is allowed to cum, basically sexually timid and boring, always expecting the guy to take all the initiative, always expecting the guy to be the dominant one and expect the guy to do all the work.
I understand a girl wanting to be a girl and wanting to be the one who gets chased after, be the one who is desired, be the one who feels beautiful and surrenders and gets fucked. But...I want to know how that feels!!! I want to be desired too!! I want to be fucked! I want to feel beautiful. I need it just as much!!!! Nobody ever fucked me before. Never. I've never felt truly wanted in that way before by any girl I was ever with. (At least not that I remember at the moment.) I need to experience being sexually wanted like that, desired so much, have someone want my body enough to try and get me naked and fuck me! Sigh. From what I've experienced, girls don't express that kind of passionate interest towards sex in real life. Girls don't seem to crave sex and they just don't get all totally horny the way guys do. I want someone to crave me, be all totally horny for me, really have that passionate burning lust to fuck me. No girl has ever felt lust for me like that. But some guys really like my videos. Guys tell me stuff sometimes.:) Hee hee.:) I just want someone to have that kind of intense horny desire for me. I sure wish somebody would be all totally horny for me right now and fuck me...:)...

Hey, I found some old blog entries of mine from another site. (Okay, I started a profile on a gay site once:P or twice just to see how much attention I could get. Hee hee. In my profile I wrote I was actually hetero but curious.) I'll add some of them here...

August, 2006
I was totally horny a couple of days ago and I had this fantasy. I wrote it down just before I masturbated. I added a bit more 'cause I'm all horny again right now!
Okay, here it is, one of my crazy fantasies...

Lift My Skirt and Fuck Me In My Ass, Please

I'm wearing a really short skirt. (You pick what color you want me to wear.:) I've got nothing on underneath.;) A guy (you maybe?;) has me come sit next to him. I'm shy. I want to play the part of a girl and be treated like one.
He starts feeling my nice bare legs. He sees that I don't mind and his hand is getting higher. Soon he's caressing and fondling my smooth crotch. He tells me something like that he thinks I have a cute pussy. I smile. He tells me he wants to get a closer look. Then, before I know it, he's got his head down between my legs and he's kissing me and licking me down there. I'm enjoying the attention...
He tells me to get on my hands and knees on the couch. Or maybe this is happening outside on a park bench. Or on a table in the middle of a crowded club. Or where ever you want!;). He feels my sexy smooth legs some more, lifts my skirt, feels my soft ass, kisses it, licks my ass for a little bit. He licks my asshole. No one's ever done that to me before! But I won't tell him. He even pushes his tongue in me!!! This is wonderful and I'm thoroughly enjoying every second. Plus, now, I know how hot he must think I am. My heart is thundering in my chest and I feel sooo sexy!!!!
He uses his finger and rubs my asshole, sticks his finger up me, moves it around, stretching me out slowly, getting me warmed up. Soon he's thrusting his finger back and forth in me, f***ing me with his finger. I'm moaning. It feels good, mmmmm, so good.
He stops, holds my ass, pulls down his pants. I feel a big hard cock rubbing on my ass. He spanks me with it, starts rubbing it on my asshole. Then he slowly begins to try pushing it into me. He's very careful. He tries his best not to hurt me. It's big. He takes a lot of time. It does hurt at first. But then it starts to feel good.
He reaches around and feels my crotch all over. He tells me he loves my sweet lil pussy. But then he tells me softly he's gonna f*** my ass now. He touches me all over, holds me, tells me everything's gonna be okay over and over, holds my cock and rubs it for me. He calls me sweetie and honey. And he tells me I'm so beautiful and so sexy as he f***s me. With that big cock inside me, the sensation of it filling me like that, I feel like he owns me and I'm his sexy lil bitch now. I moan and moan with his nice cock all up inside me...and I let him do it to me...

March, 2006

Horny and Really Need To Be Fucked Right Now

I am SO horny right now!!! I'm sitting here with an erection and pre-cum oozing out of me. I need to be fucked! Rub your stiff warm cock on me. Tell me you like my body and you think I'm sexy.:) Cum on me if you want or...put it in me, slide it up my sweet ass, be inside me and do it to me! Hold my ass and fuck me. Fill me with your cock. Wanna hear me moan for you?;) Shoot all your sperm up my ass! Make my cute ass wet and dripping with your hot cum...
...I can just imagine your cum running down the backs of my legs after you orgasmed all up my ass;)...
Mmmmm, guess what I'm gonna do now...:)...

July 29, 2005

I Shaved My Legs For You. So, Tell Me I'm Pretty and Fuck Me!

I shaved my legs today and gave myself my weekly manicure and pedicure. Even though I had masturbated a few times before that, I felt so nice after I shaved my legs that I wanted to do it again...
I wanted to lay on my back, put my smooth clean shaved legs on someone's shoulders, have him feel my legs and kiss them and tell me how nice and soft and pretty and beautiful I am while he fucks me...
I came so good after that fantasy, I fell asleep on the couch for awhile...my hand between my legs, still wet and sticky with lotion and cum...
I guess to some people, maybe a fantasy like that is totally weird...but...well, I sure liked it. : )
Did that turn anyone on...? : D

April 25, 2005

I'm Ready. Anyone Wanna Fuck Me? Do Me Doggy Style, Please!!

I still haven't been fucked yet. I'm so horny right now! I started masturbating and my imagination has taken me to this recurring fantasy. I want to get on my hands and knees and be fucked from behind. I wanna feel a real cock push into my sweet asshole, slide up in my body, while I feel hands holding my sexy ass and someone starting to gently fuck me from behind...mmmmm...start slow...then get faster...mmmmmm, I wanna feel that...someone in me, holding me affectionately and fucking me...
I want it so much RIGHT NOW! Anyone wanna fuck me??! I'll get on my hands and knees right now!!!
I'm gonna masturbate now...imagining a nice hard dick in my ass...mmmmm...wanna feel it thrusting in and out, back and forth in me...for awhile...and then I want to feel that nice happy dick cum all over in me!!!! : )

The main pages for this website can be found at the top left side of the screen written in blue. If you click on the main page titles, some of them expand and will list more pages.
To make this really easy, I'll list all the pages here at the bottom also, with links, and you can click on them from here if you like.:)

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Bedtime Stories For Lovers

My Camcorder Videos: page 3

JulianBabe — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 04:27:05 CDT

Wanna see more? :P :D

Well, it had been awhile since I recorded myself and I had been telling myself I should make a new video! Finally, I got my lazy ass to turn on the camera and do something.;)
I didn't have a plan at first. I just kinda got ready, got the camera out and somewhere in my head I was thinking okay, what is there new that I can do, what new position can I show you, what can I do that I haven't done yet? And, well, I wasn't sure. For lack of a better idea, I thought I'd try the satin nightie thing again, explore that a little more. I even put on mascara. And if you're not used to putting on thick gloppy mascara...you'll prob'ly make a mess. I did. LOL. Got that reasonably cleaned up and then I was worried it was just too much and too ridiculous, so I toned it down. And I put on lipstick! Hee hee. Which was kinda fun but I was thinking I looked like a clown. The blotting thing on tissue helps to tone that down.:) The make-up doesn't seem to show so much on camera. Maybe I toned it down too much. But, hey, it was there! It's something new. I put on little earrings too!:D
After looking over what I recorded, I really had doubts about showing some of this stuff. I tried...you know, to kind of be really girly, experimented with that, even made a bit of an attempt at feminine moaning although that sounds...more like maybe a young teen boy who's voice is cracking or something. LOL. I don't know if this stuff works for me. Like, how do girls do this stuff and make it look sooo good and so natural?? Why does it not look like that when a guy does it? Sigh. I tried. LOL.
That'd be great if someone thought this was sexy.:) That would make me very happy.:D But, hey, if it just makes you laugh, that's okay.;) Parts of this make me laugh! At least some or, well, actually, a lot of the camera angles and moves I made came out sexy!!:)

Satin Nightie Softcore, Part 1 (Feel My Legs 'n Slap My Ass 'n Fuck Me.;)

You can download this video at these links: Download Link 1 or Download Link 2

A couple weeks later I was watching this and I guess it turned me on. I had my hand down my pants rubbing myself and wishing I could fuck myself and feel everything from both of me at the same time!:P :D

Part 1 is very soft and slow and softcore. In part 2 I try and get more hot and slutty.:) LOL.
Some moments of this one crack me up.:P :D And I'm still frequently wondering, like, what the hell was I thinking?! And...is this really what I want people to see?! I don't know. I guess most of the time I'm sort of off in my own world and feel like I can do whatever and no one really sees this stuff anyway, so...whatever.:P It's like my personal video storage and diary thing here. LOL. I'd prob'ly, like, totally freakin' die of embarrassment if anyone I knew saw any of this stuff. (People who have known me could never in a billion zillion years imagine I would ever ever do anything remotely like this!!! Ha ha ha...)
What else can I say. This is the most comfortable I've felt yet about showing my face on camera. Still getting used to that. I did manage to practice my smile in this.:) I think that came out well enough. Much better than I expected.;)
For the orgasm part...um, the camera was upside down. LOL. So, maybe it looks like I'm standing? Hanging off the ceiling? Hee hee. Hey, it's different anyway!:P Okay, here's what you gotta do, when it gets down to the final scene, turn your monitor upside down to see it right! Ha ha. Well...I was sooo f***ing horny by then and I needed to cum!! I really wasn't that worried about how I was holding the camera. It seemed to correct itself on the camera screen so, somehow, I was hoping it did the same on the tape. LOL. (Another lesson learned...don't hold the camera upside down!:P ) And, ummm, big orgasm.:o)
Hope U like it.;) :) :D

Satin Nightie Softcore, Part 2 (I Get Naked 'n I Orgasm 'n Squirt:)

You can download this video at these links: Download Link 1 or Download Link 2

A couple weeks later I was watching this thinking how much I want to see my face getting splattered with someone else's sperm and I wanna see myself getting fucked in my ass!:P

I finally uploaded "On The Couch (After Work)" to XTube and got more response to that one than anything before it. I found that surprising and rather interesting. I wondered what was so different that got such a response. A couple things I thought of were that I must be moving in the right direction with showing my face more. I've been working on getting a lot more with my whole body along with my face in the shot. And I moved around and tried a lot of positions. Ha ha, must be the right position somewhere in there that anyone will like.:P
Here, I just kinda turned on the camera and did my best to expand on the idea, really rOcK it out and do it way better!:D
As always, I'm still learning to get better at this. Always watching for what to improve on. I need to work more on smiling for the camera. And I should pay less attention to what's on the screen and more attention to keeping up my erection. LOL. Yeah, that and work on position changes being smoother and more confident.;) (Oh, and just epilating isn't quite enough. I should shave too.)
But, who knows, maybe it's the raw amateur imperfections that people like.;) Anyway, I do think this one came out quite a bit better than the last time I recorded myself on the couch. Watch and see if you agree.:)

On The Couch 2 (Part 1)

28:57
You can also watch this video at these links. Although this one was kinda long and I had to split it into 2 parts to get it to fit at these other places. So, instead of 2 parts, this video plus the next will be in 3 parts. These are the first 2 parts.
Part 1 of 3: Link 1 or Link 2 or Link 3.
Part 2 of 3: Link 1 or Link 2 or Link 3.

You can download this video at these links: Download Link 1 or Download Link 2

Okay, ready to see me have an orgasm?:) There's a bit of a surprise ending here.;) Like I said, really tried my best to do this way better than the last time I recorded myself on the couch.:) That includes the orgasm part.;) :) :D
Although...I guess I should get more vocal when I cum. I was prob'ly too quiet. And, apparently, my little efforts at some sexy sort of feminine moaning here and there just...doesn't come out right. LOL. Okay, I think it's gonna work best if I just use my normal tone.
You know what would really help is a camera person!:) Yeah, among several other very horny ideas I'm having right now...;)...
Hope U like this... :o)...

On The Couch 2 (Part 2)

18:15
You can also watch this video at these links. (But because I had to split Part 1 into 2 parts, this is known as Part 3 at these other links.)
Link 1
Link 2
Link 3

You can download this video at these links: Download Link 1 or Download Link 2

Well, I did it on the bed, on the couch, on the floor, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, on the balcony. Ummm...so, here's me on a chair. LOL. Like, wow, I haven't recorded myself on a chair since the early webcam stuff. I thought I'd try it again and see if I could do better.;)
I started with clothes on. That's different.:P (I actually have clothes! I'm not always naked. Hee hee. I just hope some people would much rather see me naked.:)
I suppose it's not normal for guys to feel their breasts but...I don't know, the more I watch naked girls in videos the more aware I am that I have breasts and nipples too. I'm experimenting with the idea that guys can also get pleasure from breast stimulation and it's just social rules that prevent guys from trying a lot of stuff out.
I recorded this before I even watched the last one. So, I'd say I still have about the same kind of stuff to improve on. But I think, I hope, this is way better than those first webcam videos I did. I hope this is totally way more interesting and much mUcH sexier.:)
Part 1 is basically a soft warm up for Part 2. (The end here may seem cut off just a little abruptly. Well...I had to stop because I got a stomach cramp right then. LOL. So, there was only about another 10 seconds before I turned off the camera anyway.)

On A Chair: Part 1

16:18
You can also watch this video at these links:
Link 1
Link 2
Link 3
You can download this video at these links: Download Link 1 or Download Link 2

Okay, I hope you saw Part 1 but if you wanna skip the warm up and just see me naked and get on with it, yeah, this is...well, where that happens.;) :) :D
And...what if I told you this has that kind of surprise ending like Part 2 of the last video. Hee hee. Uh huh........2 orgasms.:P (But, hey, don't go thinkin' I'm gonna do all the time now.;)
When I had my first orgasm here, most of the sperm went on the floor. While I was looking for that, the sperm on my body kinda dried. And I wasn't sure how much of the squirting was gonna show. (Sometimes I think instead of a close-up, you'd rather see my face in the shot too when I cum...? That's what I did here and in the last one.) Then I was, like, oh no! What if there's not really anything to see?! That would really suck.:S There has to be sperm! I need more sperm!! So...I had another orgasm.:)

On A Chair: Part 2

You can also watch this video at these links:
Link 1
Link 2
Link 3

You can download this video at these links: Download Link 1 or Download Link 2

Mmm K, who's been waiting for a new video?!:P
I know, I'm getting sooo slow about recording new ones. I want to take this to the next level! It gets really boring doing this alone. I need more people involved.:P :D Yeah...people to fuck me and record it for me.:) That'd be awesome. All I'd have to do is get naked and get fucked!!:D LOL.
Sigh.
Well, I went in the kitchen, turned on the camera and did my best to turn you on and entertain you.:) Not my first time in the kitchen but better.;) And there's at least a couple positions or moves you haven't seen before to keep things fresh.:) Okay, so, um, I didn't show my face or put anything up my ass but otherwise it's pretty good, isn't it?:P :D (At the end it goes dark but, after a few seconds, it comes back for a minute. A little ass wiggling warm up I started with when I first turned on the cam but...it's kinda silly. LOL. Maybe sexy?:D I thought it would work better as a sort of out-take end thing.;)

In The Kitchen

26:11
You can also watch this video at these links. Although I had to either split it or edit it to get it to fit at these other places. So, this is the edited version at these links. About 4 minutes shorter.
Link 1
Link 2
Link 3

You can download this video at these links (unedited/the longer version): Download Link 1 or Download Link 2

Well, hmmm, what can I say...
I really wish someone else would cum on my face for me!!:D Still haven't found anyone yet to do it so, I'll have to do it myself again.:)
I like the first two better but...if you wanna see me do it again...here it is...

C.O.M.F. nr.3

4:02
You can also watch this video at these links:
Link 1
Link 2
Link 3

You can download this video at this link: Download Link 1

You can also watch and download this video at this link: Download Link 2

This one is actually the second time I recorded myself cumming on my face. But, at the time, I decided not to upload it 'cause a lot of cum got in my eye.:S And I was wrinkling my face and it looked bad 'n stuff. Then end was just all messed up. So, I just figured I'd erase it and try it again some other time.
Anyway, I recorded over the very end where I was wrinkling my face but...I saved the rest 'cause it was kinda hot.:) Watch and you'll see why.;) You can see 'til I cum on my face anyway and just before I scrunched up my face all ugly. LOL.
And, damn, it hurts getting cum in your eyes! Jeez, my eye was all red the next day.
Okay, here it is, an extra lil bonus clip I found that I almost never showed U...

Bonus Clip: C.O.M.F. nr.1.5

2:14

You can download this video at this link: Download Link 1.
Or you can watch and also download this video at this link: Download Link 2.

The main pages for this website can be found at the top left side of the screen written in blue. If you click on the main page titles, some of them expand and will list more pages.
To make this really easy, I'll list all the pages here at the bottom also, with links, and you can click on them from here if you like.:)

My Camcorder Videos: page 1

My Camcorder Videos: page 2

My Camcorder Videos: page 4

My First Webcam Videos

My Profile Page

My Pictures

Pictures From My First Webcam Videos

Pictures From My Camcorder Videos: page 1

Pictures From My Camcorder Videos: page 2

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My Sex Fantasy Blog

Julian's Blog: 2008

Julian's Blog: 2007

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Bedtime Stories For Lovers

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JulianBabe — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 03:40:03 CDT

Am I a sexy babe...?:)

I just really wish somebody thought of me like that!:D

My Profile Page

Hi.:o)

My Videos

Well, first, I got a webcam (I have a camcorder now!) and made some videos. The first 6 videos were recorded with a webcam. (Just click the blue "My First Webcam Videos" page link near the top left side of the screen.;) Or if you're, like, really lazy, just click here!!:) And what are they about? I masturbate on webcam for anyone that wants to watch! LOL. The first 2 clips were just short experiments to see how my body looked on webcam. After that, the clips get longer, more interesting and much much sexier.;)

My hope, my vision, is that people who want to watch will be entertained and find beauty in watching me. My inspiration for making my videos are all the girls who strip, dance, masturbate and have sex on camera. I find beauty in that. If done right, it's extremely sExY!! I dream of people feeling that way about me. I wanna turn people on!!!!!!! LOL.

I'm happy when I know someone wants to see me naked!:D I love it even more if I know someone wants to see me naked AND having an orgasm!!:D :D And best of all, if someone out there wants to have sex with me.......mmmm, now that's happiness!!!:D :D :D Well, 'bout as good as it gets without actually doing it with someone.:)

I added music to my webcam videos. Actually, I didn't think of that 'til nr.6 after checking out other people's stuff on the net and finding out everybody else has sound. Originally, the first 5 had no sound but then I went back and added music to the first 5 videos. Of course, not everyone has the same taste in music and not everyone will like it. Or you just may not feel in the mood for it. It's simply an added option, if anyone's interested. You can listen...or not. It's all up to you.:)

I've gotten a few comments on another site saying they want to hear me moaning instead. Uh...like.....really? LOL. Is that what people want? It's sexy when girls do it, of course, but I never thought of it as sexy to hear a guy getting vocal. And I'm shy about that, but willing to learn to be more vocal. Well, I did try using the microphone once. I had it about a foot away from my mouth and I put extra effort into breathing hard and moaning. It didn't pick up anything! There was just annoying static. It only worked if I spoke directly into it. I was planning to check that out again but now there's no need to do that. I got a camcorder!:D Now, I have a microphone that works and I don't have to be stuck near my computer to record stuff.

There are a whole bunch of camcorder videos up now!:D Pages of them, in fact!! If you wanna see some camcorder stuff right freakin' now, you can click here!!!:)

Masturbating :P

I love to watch a girl masturbate!:) Oh my God, it's sooo sexy!!! Especially when a girl isn't shy about it.:) I wanna be that sexy!! So, sometimes, I wonder if a girl could see me in that way. Could anyone see me that way? Could anyone get that turned on watching me? And if people could get turned on watching me...wOw, that makes me wanna get naked and have people watch me all the time.:)

I really like it when a girl enjoys watching me masturbate. If I'm with a girl, I don't want to feel like I have to keep my clothes on and behave myself all the time. I can understand a girl's sexual urges not being as strong or constant as a guy's urges, but I don't want to wind up having a lot less orgasms because I'm in some kind of relationship. If a girl could just watch me and enjoy it, that would be great. Sometimes, I'd rather masturbate anyway. Or be masturbated. Hee hee.:) That's hot!:)

When I'm masturbating for a girl, I want her to watch my c*** attentively and help me...by kissing me, my face, my mouth, my nude body, feel me with her wonderful hands, lick and suck on my nipples (I like it a lot when I'm turned on...but if I'm not turned on, it's just irritating...so remember that:). I want her to kiss me all around between my legs with her hot sexy little mouth. I love it when a girl kisses and licks and sUcKs my shaved pubic area, getting me all wet there, really enjoying that I'm smoothly shaved. That drives me absolutely crazy!!:) (And if there's a girl bold and daring enough to lick and suck my balls...oh my God...:D..........LOL...)

I love it when a girl wants to watch me squirt and cum all over her, let's me do that anywhere I want. Usually right in her wet sweet mouth. I love it SOOO incredibly much!!! Mmmmm, please lick it, honey, suck me off, sweetie.:) Or maybe I'll cum on her gorgeous face or all over between her sexy smooth legs or just pressed right up against the entrance to her cute little a**hole...

Ha ha, and now that you think I'm an outgoing crazy person, guess what? I'm shy!!

I'm really shy at first! I like a girl who's affectionate, soft, warm. I really need that. I respect women very very much and would never want to do anything a girl may not want or that I'm not sure a girl wants me to do. So...when I'm with a girl I like, I hope she would touch me first, so I know it's okay for me to touch her. I hope she would be brave enough to snuggle up to me first and hold me, so I know that's okay too. It could take me quite awhile to try going for that first kiss, so if a girl was really interested...kiss me first, so I know it's okay!:P (Hee hee. I'm sUcH a dreamer!!:) Just hold me, snuggle with me, I love it!:) Always do that. Then I know you like me.;) It means so much to me.

A Few Of My Wildest Sexual Fantasies

I absolutely love and adore girls with all my heart and soul. A girl's body is the most beautiful thing in the universe!!! I love girls so much, I have fantasies about feeling what it's like.

After seeing all these girls in videos gettin' anal sex and looking so f***ing sexy doing it, I think I wanna try it! I'd love to do it on camera too!:P Sometimes, I think I wanna do all the stuff girls do. I want to know what it feels like to be that beautiful. Or at least feel that beautiful. And be looked at and lusted after like that. Why should girls have ALL the fun?!! I want some anal sex! I want to feel someone doing it to me, really getting off on me and enjoying my body.

I want to feel someone holding me and f***ing me!! I want to feel someone cum in me!!! I want to know what it feels like to have my ass kissed and licked. I want to get on my hands and knees. I want someone to use some gel, get me lubricated, enter me, start off real gentle and slow, hold my ass from behind and f*** my sweet shaved ass really nice and gOOd!:o) I want someone to do me doggy style and cum inside me!!!

When I'm really horny, I think about all kinds of crazy stuff!:P Like, someday, I'd love to know what it's like to have my legs on someone's shoulders and be f***ed and feel sperm squirting up in me...mmm, I bet that would be soooo good!!:) Sometimes, I think I wanna try and sit on a cock and ride it!!:) I wanna get totally all f***ed up my ass and spermed over and I'd do it all for the camera too so anyone can watch!:D (Can I be a slut for the things I think about?:)

Often, in my fantasies about having a guy do it to me, there's a girl there also. (Or a few.:) She wants to watch. Maybe she's the one who films it. Or maybe she holds my hand, kisses me, tells me how good I'm doing and maybe does stuff to me while a guy f***s me...

Sometimes I imagine being in the middle, having sex with a girl while a guy does me from behind. Sometimes, I think I really want to try that! It seems like it would be such a completely hot 'n nasty totally satisfying way to have sex!!:)

I'd love to try being with a girl who wants to do stuff to me with a vibrator!:D And, hey, any girls out there with a fantasy about wearing a strap-on and being in control and doing a guy?:D :D Mmmmm, oh my God, yes!!!!!!! I would lOvE to meet a girl who wants to f*** me with a vibrator and would be interested and willing to try doing me with a strap-on.:) Mmm, start off gentle and then just f*** me really good!:D :D :D And if you can figure out how to masturbate me at the same time, I'll be in heaven.:) Oh my God, that would be sooo amazingly mindblowingly hOt!!!!!!!:o) I've never been with a girl who would ever even think of doing something like that, but I sure daydream about it all the time.:) And, honey, can we try sometime with my legs on your shoulders?:) Please, please, please?!:D I want to try it that way with a girl, both with the strap-on idea and without.;)

Are there any girls who are very sexual...anywhere? I still haven't experienced a girl sitting over me and riding me. I really wanna know what that feels like! I still haven't even ever been with a girl who isn't too shy about her body and would feel comfortable just being nude with me somewhere else besides in bed or the shower. (Sigh.)

What else. Well, being with two girls is probably my biggest fantasy. Or wilder...I'm nude in a room full of girls. In the beginning, I'm the only one naked. They all have clothes on, but most of 'em are dressed cute and sexy...with mini skirts on, small tops, shorts. They're all smiling, looking at me. Some of 'em start touching me, feeling my body, kissing me, taking turns sucking on my hard cock...mmmmmmmm. Sometimes, I imagine I cum in a few different mouths, on a few faces and pairs of gorgeous legs and that's it. Sometimes, it all gets really totally wild and in the end we're all naked and........well, having some kind of big beautiful orgy.:P :D

How 'bout this one. A group of girls strip me naked, tie me up and take turns sucking my cock as a contest to see which one of them can make me cum first!!! LOL. Then they keep going at it to see who's best and how many times they can make me cum!!:P LOL. (Ha ha, I know. I am such a dreamer.:)

Or was it hotter when I was talking about guys doing me? Sometimes, I have this fantasy about a couple of guys taking turns f***ing my ass. I wanna just lay there and not have to do anything. Just be a lazy spoiled slut and let them take turns f***ing me. They each do me a couple of times. And when they're done, my sexy ass wet, filled with their sperm and dripping...they just pat my cute butt and leave...

A variation of this being I'm on my hands and knees and a line of guys, like 3 or 4, take turns f***ing me and cumming inside me and all over on me and the whole thing gets recorded and put on the net!:D Would that make me look sexy? Would anyone like to see that? I wanna do something totally slutty and be a sexy whore!:P I want people to look at me getting f***ed, get so turned on and think I'm a completely sexy babe!!!!:)

Of course, at this point, I've never done anything with a guy. So, maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. Maybe I wouldn't even like it. Maybe I'd find out it just doesn't turn me on, I don't know. How could I know what I want or how I really feel about it unless I try it. But I'm willing to try, to explore, to see if that's something I would like.

My Two Wildest Sexual Experiences

(Well, the good ones anyway.;)

I haven't had many wild experiences. But I want to!;)
Once, during sex, a girl put here finger in my ass and saw that I liked it. So, she started moving her finger around, f***ing me with it, really getting it up there. Oh my God!!:) I loved it!!!:o) She told me later, with the cutest smile on her face, that I went kinda crazy when she did that. I remember I must've moaned more than I ever did in my life to show my appreciation! I remember it was so hot, so f***ing sexy, so intimate and totally satisfying to have a part of her inside me.:) It was so great!:D More, more, more!!!:P Mmmm, oh my God, I want more of that, more of all kinds of things I've never experienced before.

And the other one...

I had sex once with a girl in the backyard at her parents house. No one else was home. We were lying in the sun one summer day. I took off my shorts and got very turned on being outside naked in the sun. Not long after, I was climbing on top of her, pulled her underwear to the side a bit so I could get in. She just layed there in her sunglasses enjoying it. I loved it...the gentle breeze on our bodies, the birds chirping, sun on my back.......amazing...

More About Me

Age:
I'm not telling!:P (I haven't been honest in the past about my age and I was planning to tell the truth but...now I'm sitting here thinking I don't actually have to write a number, so bleah!:P LOL.)
My birthday is June 7th.:) :D
Height:
6' 2" (or 188 cm.)
Weight:
Too much, but I still consider myself athletic.;)
Sex:
Yes, please!!:P

Current Relationship Status:
Looking. Hoping. Want some.;) Please, do me now!!!:P :) :D

Smoke:
No. Never have.

Religion:
None.

Children:
None. But I want very much to have children! So, come on, who wants to marry me and have kids?!:P :) :D

Sexual Orientation (straight, bi or gay):
I'm straight. Willing to explore. Willing to try things but, yeah, I'm heterosexual.

Player Or Looking For a Relationship?
Somtimes, I guess maybe girls wonder after reading everything, like, hmmm, is he more of a player type or more of a relationship type. To answer that, I'm not in a relationship now, so I'm open to anything!:) I'm ready!!:P I wanna get naked and do something with somebody nOw!!!! LOL. :P :D

But if I were in a relationship, then I am always faithful. I've never ever not even once cheated on a girl. And, of course, I'd expect the same commitment in return. (If I'm with a girl I like and we've agreed to be with each other exclusively, I take that seriously. And she better too! Or it's over.)

Where I Live:
I grew up in Los Angeles, California, U.S.A. I was born in Hollywood and have lived several places around L.A. (I used to have a tan!) But now...I live in a small town in Denmark. (The sun doesn't shine much and I'm not tan anymore.:S But maybe it's okay 'cause most people here don't have a tan either.)

My Interests

My interests? Um, well...shopping:), cooking, running.......trying to find a girlfriend (believe it or not, I'm really shy and I haven't been with many girls)..........masturbating:D...............reading celebrity gossip in magazines. If I had the money, I'd love to do lots of travelling.

Music

I'm deep into music, especially progressive DJ club music. I listen to a lot of different stuff. I follow and pay attention to a whole lot of DJ's and remixers. To list just a few names, people who absolutely blow me away with what they do:) and give me lots of ear orgasms:o).......Leama & Moor (detailed discography), Gabriel & Dresden (detailed discography), Markus Schulz (detailed discography), Armin van Buuren (detailed discography), Max Graham (detailed discography), Quivver (detailed discography) , Deep Dish (detailed discography)...and basically the kind of stuff the top 100 DJ's play.:)

Movies

Usually I see a movie once and I'm done. If I'm gonna watch a movie, then I want to see something new. I do have some favorites though.:) And like my list of favorite DJ's, it changes frequently. To list some movies I really lOvEd and have seen at least twice...The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), Underworld (2003), Tomb Raider (2001), Blade (1998), The Professional (aka Léon) (1994), Cruel Intentions (1999), The Virgin Suicides (1999), New Best Friend (2002), The Beach (2000), Crazy/Beautiful (2001), Thirteen (2003), I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997), House of Sand and Fog (2003), Sling Blade (1996), The Hand That Rocks The Cradle (1992), The Breakfast Club (1985). And I really love horror movies in general!!!!:) :D

Television

The greatest most wonderful kickass thing eVeR on television was, of course, Buffy The Vampire Slayer!!!!:D

Some other old favorites would be Angel, Dark Angel, Roswell, and Alias. Also The O.C., The Sopranos, Gilmore Girls, Popular, Invasion, and The Simple Life!:P (That's the show that made me laugh the most. Hee hee.)

Currently, my favorite is Lost!

Second would be Prison Break. I also love Heroes, The L Word, Desperate Housewives, So You Think You Can Dance, America's Next Top Model...prob'ly a few others I'm forgetting right now...

Books

Stephen King is my favorite author, so my favorites would all be by him. I've read most of his books.

I used to read a lOt of books when I was younger. Not so much anymore. I do still love to read though. Mostly magazines or the newspaper now.:)

Who Is Your Hero (real or fictional)?

:o) Buffy The Vampire Slayer!!!!!!!

Comment On The Following: Girls Moaning During Sex Or Masturbating

Luvs it!:D So beautiful.:) WOW!!! Uh huh, turns me on...:)...

Can People Write To Me?

Of course!:)

julian.babe@yahoo.com

As for my site, I'm very happy, tOtaLLy outrageously excited, to be here at Wetpaint. I've been dreaming of having my own site. But I don't know anything about computer programming and, if at all possible, I want to be able to this for free, of course.:)

I've had a dream about being able to post what I want and say what I want without being deleted and kicked out for expressing myself sexually. Plus, I want a place where anyone who's interested can see my videos and everything absolutely free without having to register for anything, sign in or need a password (or anything like that).

So far, everything's going great and I just lOvE it!!!:D AND...I can have as many pages as I want! This is just freakin' awesome!!:D I have so many ideas for new pages to add.:)

If you're here for fhe first time, the main pages can be found at the top left side of the screen written in blue. If you click on the main page titles, some of them expand and will list more pages.
To make this really easy, I'll list all the pages here, with links, and you can click on them from here if you like.:)
As more pages are added, I'll add the links here also...

My First Webcam Videos

My Camcorder Videos: page 1

My Camcorder Videos: page 2

My Camcorder Videos: page 3

My Camcorder Videos: page 4

My Pictures

Pictures From My First Webcam Videos

Pictures From My Camcorder Videos: page 1

Pictures From My Camcorder Videos: page 2

The Blue Pictures

My Sex Fantasy Blog

Julian's Blog: 2008

Julian's Blog: 2007

Julian's Blog: 2006

Julian's Blog: 2005

Bedtime Stories For Lovers

My Camcorder Videos: page 4

JulianBabe — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 02:54:09 CDT

Yeah, I sit on a dark blue soft chair and masturbate 4 U!:)
In this one, I decided to really go for it with my facial expression during the orgasm. I hope it worked the way I wanted. I wanted it to be really sexy but...I'm worried it might've come out on the more hilarious side.:P I just don't know. You watch and U decide 4 yourself.;)
I really hope you like it.:D

On A Dark Blue Chair

10:02
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You can download this video at this link: Download Link 1
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Well, see, I'm trying to think of new places to do it.;) So...now you can watch me masturbate on a table!:)
If I were to critique myself, okay, the lighting could've been better. I totally forgot to practice smiling to the camera. I suppose I should work on being more vocal. I'm kinda quiet, huh?:) Yeah, well, hey, you know if someone would finally fuck my smooth sweet ass and my mouth, that'll sure get me more vocal!!!!:D
On the good side, I fucked my ass with my finger quite a bit. That's always good, right?:P Oh my God, how I was yearning for a cock up my ass fucking me instead! Or you know my dream is a girl with a strap-on that would do me real good.:D I also let loose with my body during the orgasm. You can definitely see I shook and pumped and had an orgasm!

On A Table

10:26
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Yep, still thinking of new places to masturbate 4 U.:)
Hope U still like watching me masturbate.:D I'd sooo much rather be getting totally fucked on cam for U!!! And getting spermed on by other guys 'n stuff would be totally great!!:)
Is there a girl (or a couple girls? Hee hee...) that wants to do anything on cam with me? I'd love that even more!!!!:D
Well, okay, here's me masturbating again...

On A White Bureau

12:48
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You can download this video at this link: Download Link 1

You can also watch and download this video at this link: Download Link 2

The main pages for this website can be found at the top left side of the screen written in blue. If you click on the main page titles, some of them will expand and will list more pages. To make this really easy, I'll list all the pages here at the bottom also, with links, and you can click on them from here if you like.:)

My Camcorder Videos: page 1

My Camcorder Videos: page 2

My Camcorder Videos: page 3

My First Webcam Videos

My Profile Page

My Pictures

Pictures From My First Webcam Videos

Pictures From My Camcorder Videos: page 1

Pictures From My Camcorder Videos: page 2

The Blue Pictures

My Sex Fantasy Blog

Julian's Blog: 2008

Julian's Blog: 2007

Julian's Blog: 2006

Julian's Blog: 2005

Bedtime Stories For Lovers

My Camcorder Videos: page 2

JulianBabe — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 05:18:32 CDT

So, wow, here it is page 2 and as I started this page, I thought of this as still testing, showing you something new while I get around to figuring out how to edit and arrange everything. At the moment though, I'm thinking most of the camcorder stuff isn't as bad as I thought at first. (I'm still thinking I might maybe start a page for videos I wasn't sure were good enough.)
Of course, I could keep putting everything on one page but the more videos I put on a page, the more time it takes for the page to download. I thought this would be the perfect time to start a new page.
Well, I had definite plans about what I wanted to do with the first 2 camcorder videos and I finally got to one of 'em!:) It's the more recent one at the bottom of the page. (On this page, like the last, the further down the page you go, the more recent they are.)

I've had this idea for awhile that I should masturbate out on my balcony and record it on a sunny day.;) And, well...I did.:o)
I figured I'd wind up editing half of it out but...hmmm, there wasn't really anything that needed editing. Maybe I'm just more comfortable now seeing myself on camera. Or maybe I'm getting better in front of the camera. Both, I think!! It came out much longer than I thought it would. So, I split it in 2 parts. I know some horny pervs:P don't want to have to wait over 20 minutes to see me cum. Hee hee...

Okay, first, I tried to do something sexy in my bedroom. I didn't know what I was gonna do. I just set up the camera and tried something. I definitely need practice!:P I'm still not quite comfortable or confident enough in front of the camera. I think it shows on my face. Hopefully it looks better than I felt.;) Something for me to work on.
Then I went out on my little balcony. I live in an apartment building and...I have neighbors.......under me, over me, to the side, so I'm not gonna get vocal out there. LOL. No moaning. Sorry. No talking. (And I gotta keep low 'cause there's another building across the street. Anyone on the second or third floor could see me if I stand up.) But, hey, the sun is on my body and I'm making an effort from now on to show my face a lot more.:) (I'm not even hiding that scar on my right side. I'm not perfect. Nobody is. I'm thinking I'll just put myself out there, show it all. This is me. I don't know if I'm sexy but I do know some people sure seem to enjoy seeing me naked and it makes me happy if someone wants to see me naked. If U likes it, tHaNk yOu!!!:D I do this 4 U!:)

On The Balcony: Part 1

(Remember, this is only part 1. The orgasm is in Part 2.;)

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You can download this video at these links: Download Link 1 or Download Link 2

When I watch myself, I'm always looking for what to improve on. It's really frustrating trying to do everything behind the camera and perform in front of the camera at the same time. The first time I saw this, I almost started to laugh at how small my d*** looks through most of this. Sheesh.:S That's what happens when I'm worrying more about what the camera is picking up than what I'm doing.
I changed positions a lot more than I thought I did. I want the camera angle to change and show different things. It's just so much easier to move myself instead of finding somewhere new to put the camera. Just...God, I desperately need a camera person so I don't have to worry anymore about what the camera is seeing. I'd love to be able to just concentrate on my body, feeling good, my erection;), everything going on in front of the camera.:) I really want to be in front of the camera. It's still new and exciting for me. But at the same time, I really like photography and I know how I want things to look. It drives me totally nuts sometimes not to be able to give everything to one or the other. I wish so much I could do both all by myself AND give 100% to each thing instead of dividing my attention. As long as I have to do both, I think I'll never be totally satisfied with either 'cause I know I could do better. Sigh.
However! All in all, I am improving:) and I still have plenty of new ideas to try out.:D I wouldn't be surprised if someone out there thought this was the best thing they've seen me do yet.:) I'm just wishing more and more for...someone to hold the camera and..........someone to f*** me on camera!!! :) :D :P

On The Balcony: Part 2

(...picking up right where part 1 ended...)

11:12

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You can download this video at these links: Download Link 1 or Download Link 2

Yep, here comes a new one!:D Just had to get naked once again for all my fans.;) And, wow, like, gosh, how many do I have by now, about 3, I think. LOL. Sigh. Still hoping more (a LOT more!!!:D ) people will find me and like seeing me naked. (Oh my God...if only I were a girl...)
Anyway, I still have ideas to try out and I still need a lot of practice to get better at this.:) Okay, so here's what's up...I went in the bathroom.......peed on myself and masturbated.;) :P :D Hee hee. LOL. (So...is that sexy...? Or just strangely entertaining? Both?:P )
As usual, I watched this right after and I'm always looking 4 wut 2 improve on. When I masturbate without looking at pictures or a video, I guess I'm usually looking down at my, um, thing.:) So, that's pretty much what I did. But...if I'm gonna film myself and have my face in the shot, hmmm, I really need to look at the camera more. And smile!:)
I'm not excited about showing my face when I cum...'cause, well, my orgasms are usually alone (always alone for quite a long time now!Sniff, sniff...) and I'm not used to anyone looking at my face. I've never practiced much at all with my facial expression when I cum. But...I think, kinda like learning to eat around company in a proper way, if I'm gonna be on camera, I better work on it. LOL. I lOvE having my beautiful cock looked at when I cum!! I totally love it when someone wants to see me squirt.:D On the other hand, the point I was getting too, I'm guessing people would like to see my face in the shot sometimes while I have an orgasm. I gave it a try for this one. However, you know, if I get my face in the shot too, that means no close-up for the cum shot. I'm not thrilled with the orgasm here but I think I can get better at...doing something not too ridiculous or ugly with my face. LOL. (Just don't look at my face!:P Watch my sweet cock being fucked really hard and fast by my hand.:)
I noticed the bottoms of my feet were a little dirty (and I hadn't gotten to doing my weekly pedicure yet). Oops.:S (Did my pedicure today though! My feet look great now!! Wanna see?!:o)
Hee hee. I was pleasantly a little surprised how nice and warm my pee was.:) My cute butt got all wet sitting in pee.:P I liked it...feeling all naked and slutty with pee on me.:) (Oh God, I wanted to be fUcKeD and cummed on!!!:P) Hmmm, I shoulda touched my body more and got my fingers up my ass. Maybe tried a few more positions. I was taking it easy and being careful about that. Them tiles gets slippery when wet.;)
Well, hope U like it...:)...(can U see the pee? I don't.:( There was a lOt and I think it looked a little better on my camera screen. Sigh. I'll have to try again sometime with the camera closer then.)

Bathroom Pee and Orgasm:

14:53

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You can download this video at this link: Download Link 1. And you can watch and also download this video here: Download Link 2.

I was really sUpEr horny, so...this clip is short and to the point.;)
Okay, so, I wonder, does anyone think I'm a tease and if it came down to it, I couldn't really handle...oh, something like.......cum on my face?:D
With all my curiousity, you think I never tried to cum on my own face? Such things haven't occurred 2 U yet maybe. Well, I've done it plenty of times. I don't do it often. It's not exactly a comfortable position to get into to do it.:S Anyway, I knew one of these days I'd have to try and record it. So, um, yep, this would be me cumming on my own face. (Hee hee, I'm just curious, R U still reading or gone already to check it out...?:D )
This is the first time I've ever tried this on camera. In fact, nobody has ever seen me do this before and I've never even told anyone before that I have ever tried it. (It just never came up in a conversation.)
Well, of course, I watched this right after. I had serious doubts about whether I'd even put this one up. The idea is pretty hOt.;) In theory, it seemed sexy to me. But...this position does not make my stomach look attractive! (I had no idea my stomach could look that gross.:S ) LOL. You'll see what I mean. Doesn't do wonders for my face either. And close-ups on my face (yuck)...ummm, not really thrilled about that. Like, hey, okay, where's my make-up person to make me look pretty?!:P (And just a note about the chair with the sheet in the background if anyone should wonder what that was about. It looks sorta dumb, I know. The intention, what I wanted, was to create a nice full blue screen backdrop. LOL. And that really didn't really go anywhere near as well as I imagined or hoped. LMAO.)
Lots of sperm. I caught most of it in my mouth. Then I was checking myself out on the camera screen. Tempted to wipe my face but trying to remember not to so you can see the cum on me.;) I remembered to look at the camera and practice my smile.:)
Girls look great with cum on their face:) but...I'm not a girl, so...I don't know if anyone would think this is sexy. I really hope someone will like this.:) (I'd much rather try doing this in a more normal relaxed position and have some guy or a few cum over me. Any volunteers?:) :P :D )
Well...okay, here it is...

C.O.M.F. nr.1

3:39

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I turned on the computer, was gonna upload the last video and somehow wound up looking at porn pics on the internet. Hee hee. :P Then I was too freakin' horny to upload my video! I needed to cum first. And since my camera was right there, I took it with me to the bedroom where I thought the daylight would be brightest. (I turned on the light, even brought a stand-up lamp from the living room. I think it helped. I did the same for the last video too, was near a window for the daylight and used two lamps. Jus' wanna make sure U can C everything.;)
Anyway, so, I just...you know, needed to cum and, uh.....well, yeah, uh huh, recorded it for anyone who's interested.;) I know I've said I'd be showing my face more from now on but my face isn't in this 'cause, well, like, it's Saturday and I didn't get dressed to go anywhere. Then I'd have to shave and wash my face, do something with my hair and that would all take too long. I just needed to cum, okay?!;) LOL.
The first time I watched this I thought it was boring. But I just watched it again and now I'm thinking it's really not bad. I like it.:) Hmmm, would've been better if I had my other hand free to touch myself instead of holding the camera. Nice squirt though. Holy jeepers!:P I shot cum up on my chest. Tried to practice getting more vocal here. I think I pretty much got the grunting down. LOL. Should I be working more on words now maybe. Hee hee.
Hope U likes it... : ) ...

On My Bed One Saturday:

Another Saturday morning. And I woke up extremely horny!!! I wanted to masturbate right away but...I had a feeling there'd be a lot of sperm, so I was hoping maybe I could wait and...record it and try cumming on my face again. After resisting wild temptation, waiting 'til after breakfast and getting a few things done, it was afternoon and I was finally ready. But...for some reason, I wasn't as horny as earlier. And I wanted real sex! Not just masturbating. Sigh.
Well, I warmed up for 15-20 minutes and when I turned the camera on, I was ready to cum! Although, I wasn't sure anymore I felt like cumming on my face by then. But...as soon as I was positioned and rubbing myself, mmmm, yeah, I wanted to suck dicks!!!:P As soon as that dick was right in front of me, hell yeah, I wanted that cum!! (I didn't catch most of it in my mouth like last time. I closed my mouth and just let it go all over my face so you could see it.;)
Afterwards, once again, I was checking myself out on the camera screen. Looking. Wondering. Is it sexy if I have cum on my face? Would anyone really like this? Or is it just ridiculous for a guy to have cum on his face? I'm still wondering. And hoping. Hoping someone thinks this is sexy. I suppose that's my biggest wish (besides being a billionaire, of course!:), that someone would think I'm sexy!

C.O.M.F. nr.2:

4:26

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You can download this video at this link: Download Link 1. And you can watch and also download this video here: Download Link 2.

I have some toys.;) Wanna see 'em? LOL.
Hmmm...this was one of those things that, in theory, seemed like a great idea but.......ummm, now I'm just not sure about it. Is this something I should delete and never want anyone to see? I wanted it to be sexy but...I just don't know. I hope someone thinks this is sexy!:) LOL. I'm not a girl, so...this could be just completely wild ridiculousness.:P
Oh my gosh...the things I'm willing to do for some attention...

I'll call this...Fun With Toys: Part 1

You can also watch and download this video at this link: Link

Other thoughts on part 1: Oh my God...do I really look that gay when I talk? I had no idea. I don't always talk like that, do I?!! Should I practice being more confident and manly? LOL. I'm so nOt a model. Do I really have to show my face on camera?:P Was I totally wrong about thinking I should do that more...? LOL.

I divided this because it is kinda long and if you wanna skip the intro and get right to the action, here it is!:D This is pretty much one of the two videos I had planned to do after Webcam Orgasm nr.6, before I even got my camcorder.
Wanna see me put something up my ass bigger than my finger?;) :D This one came out pretty good! I can get a lot of nice pictures out ot this one.;) :)
I suppose it took me so long to get around to this because I got kinda bored for awhile about recording myself. It's sooo unfair how girls get ALL the attention and just 'cause I'm a guy, I can barely get anyone to ever notice me. All the girls are busy having sex, sometimes on camera! I wanna be doing that!!!!:D I wanna get fucked by lots of people and be a slut!!!!!!!:D :D :D LOL. I'm still hoping someone on this planet will see me and want me!
Okay, people, here's how this works, no compliments = me bored, no videos. And compliments for me = more videos 4 U.:)
Plus, I still need someone to take pictures of me. I still need someone to hold the camcorder for me...
I still need someone to fuck me. Do I have to beg? Just having a smooth very tight sexy unused virgin ass isn't enough? Mmm K, here's me begging 2 B fUcKeD...:o)...

Fun With Toys: Part 2

19:19
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Yeah, I have batteries somewhere. I keep using 'em up and I was just too horny to go find some more.:P

The main pages for this website can be found at the top left side of the screen written in blue. If you click on the main page titles, some of them expand and will list more pages.
To make this really easy, I'll list all the pages here at the bottom also, with links, and you can click on them from here if you like.:)

My Camcorder Videos: page 1

My Camcorder Videos: page 3

My Camcorder Videos: page 4

My First Webcam Videos

My Profile Page

My Pictures

Pictures From My First Webcam Videos

Pictures From My Camcorder Videos: page 1

Pictures From My Camcorder Videos: page 2

The Blue Pictures

My Sex Fantasy Blog

Julian's Blog: 2008

Julian's Blog: 2007

Julian's Blog: 2006

Julian's Blog: 2005

Bedtime Stories For Lovers

My Camcorder Videos

JulianBabe — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 05:42:04 CDT

Hi.:)

Yes, I have a camcorder now!:D

My original plan was the first camcorder video, since it's the 7th one, would have 7 orgasms.:) In the meantime (until I got around to making that one), my idea was just to put up some test videos that I might edit or even take down later. And, well, gosh, now it's up to so many videos, some or most of 'em are fine as they are.

If there's ever a problem seeing the videos when you come by, there are alternate viewing links under each video.:) And/or...free downloads!!:)

I recorded all my orgasms one Saturday...

This one is my first orgasm recorded with my camcorder.

Ha ha, I actually did try a good amount of talking and showing my face when I recorded this but...it just didn't work.:S I'm not used to it. I didn't like it. I wasn't ready. I edited it all out. I've never talked on camera before and I think I should practice more. Most everything I said wasn't even loud enough to be heard anyway. LOL. (If you're wondering what I talked about...oh, stuff about how I was horny, I wanted to get fucked, I've never had a cock in me, spreading my ass and asking who wants to take a ride:P...)
Anyway, well, hey, you get to the orgasm part quicker and...it was a pretty good one.:)

Saturday, Orgasm 1:

So, I had the first orgasm, watched it and got so turned on thinking about putting it on the net. Oh my God, it turns me on thinking there could be some people out there that like watching me masturbate!:D I went right into this second orgasm.:)

(Came out pretty good 'cept the position with the first orgasm and then the camera angle on this one make my dick look small.:S Oh well.)

Saturday, Orgasm 2:

2:03

This one, my third orgasm that Saturday, hmmm...I'm disappointed with my face. Like, hey, I thought I was better looking than that.:S

I'm not happy with the lighting. The light source shouldn't be in front of the camera.

Another lesson learned...if my face is on camera, I need to smile more, put some life and energy in my face. My face just looks kind of...blah. But...the idea was kind of to show you what I look like masturbating where I usually masturbate. Sort of a candid camera no frills everyday look.

If I make a page for test videos or ones I didn't think were good enough, that's where this one is going, but...somethin' new to look at...:)...

Saturday, Orgasm 3:

8:15
You can download this video at these links: Download Link 1 or Download Link 2

I was gonna go in the kitchen and just have a quick one, squirt off in the kitchen sink but, well, since I recorded my first three orgasms that day, I thought I should keep it up and record this one too.:)

Masturbating into the sink seemed a little too boring, so I played around with different camera angles. Like, I tried sitting on the kitchen counter. Nice idea and the lighting was good enough, but I couldn't get the camera back far enough to get my face in the shot too. I almost went ahead with it but...I have a big scar on my right side and that was looking really bad. Then I tried laying on the kitchen counter. My body looked good, the lighting was good, but I was staring at the camera screen looking like a total dork!:P Finally, I settled on this POV idea. Again, just a sort of candid no frills documentary of an everyday orgasm.

Not much sperm here but, hey, it was my 4th orgasm that day.:D

Actually, there was a 5th orgasm but that was after midnight, not actually Saturday anymore, so I didn't record that one. (I was laying on the couch naked in front of the TV and it was a little while before I went to bed. I just reached down and, you know, got myself off real quick.;)

Saturday, Orgasm 4:

You can also watch this video at these links: Link 1 or Link 2.
You can download this video at this link: Download Link 1. And you can watch and also download this video here: Download Link 2.

Ever have a really stupid tiring day at work and you totally, like, need to get naked and cum or you'd just freak out and die? Yeah, so I came home, really needed to be nude and have an orgasm. Hmmm...of course, I'd much rather come home and have someone fuck me really good...:)...

I usually masturbate on the couch or in front of the computer. I especially like it on the couch right under the window if the sun is shining.:) Even though I knew the lighting probably wouldn't be good to record it, I really wanted to masturbate there. I thought I'd give it one more try before deciding not to record there anymore. And just like that third Saturday orgasm, the lighting wasn't that great. Okay, okay, so it's just not really gonna work recording there. At least not with the camera placed anywhere in front of the light source.

There's no close-up for the cum shot here either. But I did work a little harder at making this one more entertaining by moving around and trying several positions.

I started playing with my nipples a little towards the end. I didn't really get into it because, even though I wanted to, I thought it would look too ridiculous and I'd edit that out anyway. But, hmmmm, it's actually not so bad. Nothing to worry about. It turned me on and I came soon after. Every once in awhile I really get off playing with my nipples, imagining someone rubbing my breasts and sucking my nipples. And telling me I look pretty.:) Hee hee. Sometimes I cum really nice and hard imagining someone fucking me or watching me masturbate while they feel me all over and play with my nipples and tell me how soft and smooth and beautiful and pretty I am. That would get me off!!:P Sigh. Girls have all the fun. I wanna have some fun...

All in all, this one came out a lot better than Saturday's orgasm on the couch. Still...because of the lighting problem, I'm wondering if this is a good one. And my face is kinda...blah in this one too but...again, the idea was basically a sort of candid or hidden camera look at everyday masturbating. Something new to look at.;) :D So, like...here it is, from the moment I turned on the cam 'til the second I shut it off. I didn't edit a thing. I hope somebody out there enjoys this...:o)...

On The Couch (After Work):

16:56
You can also watch this video at these links:
Link 1
Link 2
Link 3
You can download this video at these links: Download Link 1 or Download Link 2

Wanna watch me cum...again?:P

I'm planning to show my face a lot more and talk too.:) Haven't gotten to that yet. But I will. You'll see.;) Just recording a few orgasms while you're waiting.

So, I was hanging out in my bathrobe one morning. I had breakfast and then I needed to cum.:-) I got my cam out (ahh, how thoughtful of me...hee hee...:), laid down on the bed 'cause I figured the lighting would be best there, opened my robe and did something like this;-)...
Lots of sperm here:-)...

In My Bathrobe:

6:54
You can also watch this video at these links: Link 1 or Link 2 or Link 3.
You can download this video at this link: Download Link 1. And you can watch and also download this video here: Download Link 2.

Okay, short explanation...wanna see me fondle my breast for about 3 minutes?:P Ha ha, man, the attention I could get just for this if I were a girl.

The longer explanation: This one is a prelude to the next video. (I wasn't sure about showing this and was thinking it might be too boring.) And, well, because of an operation I had when I was 2 or 3, I have this big scar on my right side just under my breast. There's a sort of hollow area there which...makes my breast look.......well, like a girl. It's really embarrassing and I've never been the type to take off my shirt much in public. Anyway, I thought for this clip, I could use the whole thing to...um, experiment with this idea.;) You'll see what I mean.:P

So...is this sexy or just plain hilarious...?:P :D

Fondling My Breast:

2:56
You can also watch and download this video at this link: Download Link 1. Or you can download it here: Download Link 2.

My first impression was that some parts of the last clip and some parts of the next one were kinda sexy.:) Some parts had me laughing.:D Could it be funny and sexy at the same time? Now that I looked at the clips again, I'm thinking the last one is mostly funny and the next one is mostly sexy.;) Hmmm, will anyone like this. Am I going too far, gettin' 2 weird 4 ya?:P (At the moment, I'm thinking I should explore this stuff some more sometime, practice my girly moves and make them better.;)

I see sex and ways to masturbate as something to explore. There are so many things you could try if you're willing to forget about social rules and what other people would think. Like, why can't a girl try being dominant and go ahead and fuck her boyfriend in the ass with a strap-on? Absolutely nothing wrong with that. But because of social rules and what we're brought up to believe, I doubt many girls would even think of that or consider that as a real possibility. And I'm sure even a higher percentage of guys would be just plain freaked out by the idea. And why can't a guy go ahead and explore his feminine side, find out what it feels like to wear a skirt, have his breasts played with, be fucked in submissive positions. Personally, I think there are way too many rules about what you're supposed to do and how to behave depending on whether you're a man or a woman. I also believe girls are allowed way more freedom when it comes to acceptable sex and everything else in general.

I don't want to spend my whole life worrying about all the social rules. I want to let go and be free and just explore everything and discover what feels good.;) On the other hand, I don't want to create controversy or draw too much attention to myself. So, publicly, I will play my part and not push the boundaries. But when it comes to sex, I think I'm finally willing to take a stand. I want to be free!!!

Of course, everyone has their limits. I want to try things out. I want to push the boundaries and find out just where my limits really are. At least, at home, in private. I'm tired of having all these unfulfilled desires. I don't like feeling all sexually caged and trapped and suffocated and restrained when I'm in a relationship. I don't want to do that again. I don't want to feel I have to hide what I want and never speak of the things I want to try. I want to be sexually free with someone...

Well, even if you don't quite get what I'm talking about or pushing the boundaries is just not for you, I bet this will be at least entertaining;)...:P...LOL...

So, here's me goofing around and playing some more with my new camcorder.:o) Oh, and U can watch me have another orgasm, of course;o)...

Orgasm In A Satin Nightie:

13:00
You can also watch this video at these links:
Link 1
Link 2
Link 3
You can download this video at these links: Download Link 1 or Download Link 2

My First Webcam Videos

JulianBabe — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 04:32:40 CDT

If there's ever a problem with seeing the videos when you come by, there are alternate viewing links under each video.:) And...free downloads!!:D

Webcam Orgasm nr.6 (Part 2)

14min.58sec.

Part 1 was more about my a**. Part 2 is more about the front side. (It is!:P You'll see when it gets towards the halfway point.;) Filmed the same day as part 1. Mostly me still warming up and getting ready for a hOt squirting sexy orgasm.:) And then...you can watch me have it!!:o) Mmmm, yeah, watch me cum...:)...

I didn't even notice the red spots on my ass 'til months later 'cause my monitor wasn't working right. I was embarrassed but by then it was, like, well, it's been out for months now, I'm not editing it out and there's nothing I can do about it. I shaved my ass that day 'cause I knew I'd be doing close-ups there. Sigh. Another lesson learned, don't shave the day of a shoot.:S

I've kinda confirmed a theory I had from watching myself on screen. At first, when my penis is erect, it's nice and long. When I start getting close to an orgasm, the length goes down a bit and it gets wider. I guess it's natural. Must be somethin' good for a girl during sex. Is it?:)

I did my best to give you a good view of the sexy squirting action at the end.:) Rewind if you didn't quite catch it the first time.:) Rewind as many times as you want!:P

Hope U like it.:D

Oh yeah, there's an address shown at the end, but the address is no good anymore. My videos were available for a limited time at both Google and Yahoo video. I was quite popular there!!! And the interest was increasing daily! I loved it!!:) But they kicked me off for having adult content. And I lost my whole Yahoo account.:S So, here's my new address:

julian.babe@yahoo.com

Come back and see my videos as often as you like. They're here for you. I do this for anyone who's interested and likes them.:)

Thanks 4 watching!!!!!!!:D

You can also watch this video at these links:
Link 1
Link 2
Link 3
You can download this video at these links: Download Link 1 or Download Link 2

Webcam Orgasm nr.6 (Part 1)

8min.4sec.

Hi.:o)

This is the first video I actually show my face in.:) I tried to be entertaining with my lil intro bit.;) After that, I get down to some seriously sExY stuff!!! U can watch me totally f*** my a** with my finger!:)

I got really turned on the first couple of times I saw this, so I must've done somethin' right!:D

The more I look around at clips on the net, the more I see everybody's got sound. Originally, my other videos had no sound and this was really the first video I added music to. Then I went back and added music to the first 5 videos.

However, remember, the music is only an added option. You can listen if you want. Or not. It's all up to you.:)
Part 2 has a beautiful orgasm, but you don't wanna miss this!!

Thank U all 4 watching!!!!!!!:D

You can also watch this video at these links: Link 1 or Link 2 or Link 3.
You can download this video at this link: Download Link 1. And you can watch and also download this video here: Download Link 2.

Webcam Orgasm nr.5 (A Night Orgasm;)

4min.53sec.

Wanna watch me cum?!:)

I'll work on the lighting.:) It's not easy getting the lighting very good with a webcam at night! I need to figure out something though instead of getting distracted thinking about it while the cam is going. LOL. It affects my performance.:S

This one's not as progressive as nr.4 was. I needed an orgasm one night and I thought, hey, I could record it!:D

Nr.6 goes further than ever before!;) I also finally show my face a little in the next one. I'm much more shy about showing my face on camera, but maybe I need to get used to that more. I have a strong feeling it will add more realism and it would just appear more natural and professional of me, right? I'm really trying to get better at this. I want to please you and show you what you want to see. I have a lOt of ideas, but mostly I'm just guessing at what people want to see and finding inspiration in stuff I look at.:P

So, here it is...me masturbating on webcam...at night;)...

Webcam Orgasm nr.4 (Part 2: The Orgasm:)

9min.21sec.

Ummm...I think I spermed myself.:) LOL

Even though I had minor difficulties with my erection 'cause I was thinking mostly about lighting, camera angles, what the camera is picking up, I sure did cum!!!:D And I'll show it to you close up.:)

If you like this stuff, I'd love to know you enjoy watching me.:) You can leave a comment here. Or write me at julian.babe@yahoo.com

Luv U all looking at me!:)

Muah!!;)

Webcam Orgasm nr.4 (Part 1: The Warm Up;)

8min.42sec.

:o)Thank you all so much for checking me out!!!! It totally turns me on to know I get looked at!:) Thanks!!:D

This is where things start getting longer and much better.;) I begin getting bolder and more daring. So, tell me, is this sexy or just silly?:) I was trying to be kinda sexy.;) But...I'm new at this. I never did stuff like this on camera before! Did I do anything right?:D LOL.

Well, that same day after I edited this, I took a desperately needed break and had my second orgasm!:D It really turns me on to think about people enjoying watching me naked and masturbating.:)

And, again, the music is simply there as an added option. You can listen...or not. All up to you.;)

You can also watch this video at these links: Link 1 or Link 2 or Link 3.
You can download this video at this link: Download Link 1. And you can watch and also download this video here: Download Link 2.

Webcam Orgasm nr.3

2min.52sec.

My third time in front of the webcam.

Now, this is where I start getting a little more adventurous in front of the camera. I'm beginning to get better at this.:)

The end seems cut short a little but, really, I did have a nice full orgasm before it ends. I only cut it just two seconds before I got out of the chair to turn off the camera.

Most important lessons learned from the first three clips: One, I need to work on the lighting. Two, they need to be longer. Three, make sure I have a good enough camera angle to see the cum squirt at the end.;)

Number 4 will be a vast improvement over the first 3 clips!!:D And way way sexier!!!!;) :)

Remember, the music is simply an added option. It's there if you're interested, but totally up to you if you wanna listen.;)

Webcam Orgasm nr.2

57sec.

This is my second time on webcam.

The lighting is better this time.:) It's only about a minute long. The shortest clip in my series. I was really freakin' horny and just wanted to get a quick orgasm on cam to see how it looked.;)

I think it came out nice. Wanna watch?:)

You'll see my clips do get longer and better!!!!:D

Webcam Orgasm nr.1

1min.48sec.

This is me testing out my webcam for the very first time.:)

It was getting dark, but I was anxious to try recording something. I'm naked, lying back on a chair in front of my computer and I rub myself 'til I cum!!!

Really amateur stuff but I want to post it because this is the first clip in a whole series!! Here you can see right where I started and follow my improvements over the next few videos. How much I've improved is what I'm proud of!:D

Still, this isn't bad for a first try though, is it?:)

You can also watch this video at these links: Link 1 or Link 2 or Link 3.

You can download this video at this link: Download Link 1. And you can watch and also download this video here: Download Link 2.

The main pages for this website can be found at the top left side of the screen written in blue. If you click on the main page titles, some of them expand and will list more pages.
To make this really easy, I'll list all the pages here at the bottom also, with links, and you can click on them from here if you like.:)

My Profile Page

My Camcorder Videos: page 1

My Camcorder Videos: page 2

My Camcorder Videos: page 3

My Camcorder Videos: page 4

My Pictures

Pictures From My First Webcam Videos

Pictures From My Camcorder Videos: page 1

Pictures From My Camcorder Videos: page 2

The Blue Pictures

My Sex Fantasy Blog

Julian's Blog: 2008

Julian's Blog: 2007

Julian's Blog: 2006

Julian's Blog: 2005

Bedtime Stories For Lovers

Bedtime Stories For Lovers

JulianBabe — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 07:24:26 CDT

These are stories from a book titled "Bedtime Stories For Lovers" by Joan Elizabeth Lloyd, published in 1996.

The quickest way to describe these stories is as the author says in her author's note, "This book contains many of my favorite fantasies, in fairy-tale form."
Myself, I found these sort of sexual fairy tales very erotic. They have a classic timeless feel to them. I see this as a fairy tale book for adults. And this stuff is just way to cool not to share!:)
These stories have even inspired a few of my own fantasies in fairy tale form. Perhaps one day I'll write some of them down. Anyway, I hope someone will enjoy these and I will put them here from the first story to the last, just as they were in the book...

Author's Note:

Dear reader,

Some of my most wonderful childhood memories begin with my parents' soft voices saying, "Once upon a time..." Listening to their words, I traveled through the woods with Goldilocks, to work in the mines with the Seven Dwarfs, and into the witch's hut with Hansel and Gretel.
As I grew older, my bedtime imaginings evolved. They included horseback riding with Bobby Benson and the B-Bar-B Riders, then flying with Sky King. After that came driving around the country on Route 66 and, eventually, being comforted by Dr. Kildare or Ben Casey. And, in the wonderful world of my fantasies, I could be anyone, do anything, and look the way I chose. I could be the smartest girl in the world or the best trick horseback rider. I could fly. I could have long, straight jet black hair and light blue eyes. I could even be shapely enough to fill a bra.
Eventually, of course, my fantasies turned to lovemaking. In my imagination, I could be loved by the most talented suitor in an endless variety of ways. He would "just know" exactly what I wanted and when I wanted it. Anything was possible. My fantasies turned me on. When I finally mustered the courage to share them with my partner, they enhanced our lovemaking, and ultimately, most of them came true.
Can your fantasies come true? Emphatically, I say yes. But you may have to help your partner to understand what you'd enjoy. He won't "just know." You can use this book to give your partner the nudge that will allow the two of you to share you most exotic desires.
This book contains many of my favorite fantasies, in fairy-tale form. And, I'm sure that many of these fantasies are yours, too. Have you ever dreamed of making love in the daytime on a blanket under a deserted bridge? Or making love surrounded by the smell and feel of rich, soft leather? Have you dreamed of owning a pair of boots that will give you the courage to take control of your relationship? Or of giving those boots to your partner and giving up control? If you have, you're in good company.
There are several different ways you can turn your secret dreams into delicious reality. First, you can read these stories and let these ideas, situations, and images inspire you. Let these scenarios turn you on. Now climb into bed with your partner and enjoy. Go a little wild. Do things you've never done before.
A second way to enjoy these stories is to read one out loud at bedtime. Force yourself to say those naughty words or ask your partner to read a story to you. It's wonderfully embarrassing and exciting. Then see what happens next.
Third, you can use these stories to suggest a new activity to your partner. Tell your partner something wonderful by slipping a bookmark into a particular story. Help your partner to understand that this is a situation you'd like to act out, together. It's a small risk that can lead to a big reward.
However you use this book, read, relax, and enjoy. And remember that everyone has fantasies. Have the courage to share yours with a loving partner. You might just find yourself embarking on adventures even more tantalizing than anything you've ever imagined.

Mirror, Mirror

Once upon a time, there was a handsome farmer named Dalton who had always prayed for a beautiful woman who would cook for him, raise his children, and, of course, have such a fantastic body that they would make love all the time. One day, on his way to his fields, he met a young, good witch who had her foot caught under a large rock. "Help me," the witch cried. "Please, young man, if you free me, you'll find that I'm the answer to all your prayers."
"You're very skinny and not very beautiful," the farmer said, "so you couldn't be the answer to my prayers. However, I'll get you out of there, anyway." Using all his strength, he freed the witch's foot.
"Thank you, farmer," she said, looking over his warm, friendly face.
"You promised me the answer to my prayers. Well, I want a woman to clean my house, bear my children, and keep me warm at night. Unlike you, of course, she must be gorgeous and well-built." He held his cupped hands in front of his chest to show the witch exactly how well endowed he wanted this woman to be. "And she must want to make love all the time."
The witch frowned. "I'm not good enough for you?"
"Not a chance," Dalton said, holding his hands in front of his chest. "Big. Really big."
"If that's truly what you want," the witch said, hooking her index fingers together and blinking her eyes, "then this evening you will find an enchanted mirror hanging in your bedroom. From it will emerge the girl of your dreams."
That evening, Dalton couldn't wait to get home. He ran up the stairs and, on his bedroom wall, he found a full-length mirror. "Where's my dream woman?" he asked out loud. Suddenly, the mirror became cloudy and from its depths a beautiful and extremely well-endowed naked woman materialized. "I've been waiting for you all afternoon," she murmured, wrapping her arms around Dalton's waist.
"Wow." He sighed. As he reached for her, he silently thanked the witch for rewarding him so generously.
The woman's hands were everywhere. She unbuttoned his shirt and stroked his hairy chest, kissing and licking his flat nipples. "Oh, love," she groaned as she pushed him onto the bed, "you're so sexy." She straddled his chest, took his hand, and placed it on one large breast, holding it tightly against her so Dalton could fill his hand with her flesh. "Your hands feel so good." While she rubbed her wet cunt against his chest, she lifted his other hand and filled it with her other large breast. "Yes. So good."
Dalton closed his eyes and let the beautiful girl use his hands to stroke her body. When she placed his hand palm up on his flat stomach and sat on it, he thought his cock would burst from his pants. His fingers tangled in her sopping fur and two fingers slipped inside her cunt.
"Oh, baby," he groaned. "Let me fuck you."
"Of course." She opened his pants' buttons and impaled herself on his stiff erection. Up and down, up and down--she rode him until he could hold back no longer. He arched his back and thick come filled her pussy. Exhausted, he collapsed.
As if this wasn't enough, she got up and announced, "Now I'll cook you a good meal." Patting his now-flaccid cock, she continued, "Then you'll be ready to do this again."
The meal was perfect, and when they were done eating, they made love again.
For several weeks, Dalton spent very little time in his fields. Every minute was spent either eating or making love. Finally, he had had enough. "Oh, witch," he cried, lying exhausted on the bed while his lover was in the kitchen. "Witch, please answer me." From the depths of the cloudy mirror, the witch stepped into the small room. "Oh, witch," he moaned, "this is awful. She won't let me alone. She wants me to fondle her tits all the time, sometimes even when she's cooking. I've gained five pounds and I'm so tired that I haven't the strength to get anything done. Help me." He knelt on the floor at the witch's feet and hugged her knees. "Please."
Well," the witch said, "she is what you said you wanted."
Dalton hung his head. "I know." He sighed. "But she never lets me give her any pleasure. She never shares in bed. It's not really fun anymore." He looked over the witch's small but well-formed body. "And she doesn't talk, or play cards, or read. She just cooks, holds my hands on her big breasts, and fucks."
"She's not what you wanted?"
Dalton sat on the side of the bed. "She's what I thought I wanted. I guess I was wrong."
The witch smiled. "I play gin rummy, and I like to read. I'm a decent cook, and together we can learn how good it can be in bed." She winked at him. "And I think you're very special and very handsome."
Dalton took the witch's hand. "I like you, too." Suddenly, he heard footsteps on the stairs. "Oh no, here she comes."
"Dalton, darling," the young woman's voice called as she entered the room with a tray of hors d'oeuvres. "I've got something to tide you over until dinner." She started to set the tray on the table and opened her shirt to reveal her large tits.
The witch looked at Dalton, and when he nodded, she hooked her index fingers together and blinked her eyes. The woman disappeared. Then the witch blinked again and a deck of cards appeared in her hand. "How about we share some of those lovely treats while I beat you at gin?"
"Wonderful," Dalton said, knowing that he had found a woman with many wonderful tricks up her sleeve.

Magic Boots

My wife is such a shy little thing," King Carl said to his grand wizard. "She lets me love her but seems to get no pleasure from it. I do everything and she submits. She acts more like a dutiful subject than my consort."
The wizard thought about Queen Myra and had to agree with the king. She was lovely, but she lacked spirit. "And you would like..."
"I'd like her to be active in the bedroom, suggest things, make things happen. You know..."
"I think I do," the wizard said. He rummaged around in an old trunk and pulled out a pair of high-heeled lace-up boots. He handed them to the king and said, "Sire, give these to your wife for her birthday next week. Do it when the two of you are alone, after everyone else has gone to bed."
"What will they do?" King Carl asked.
"You'll see," was all the wizard would say.
At the dinner for his wife's birthday, King Carl gave her a jeweled tiara and an aquamarine pendant that was the exact color of her eyes. During a long dinner, she received dozens of other gifts, one more glorious than the next. She accepted each gift with grace and quiet dignity.
Finally, after all the guests were gone, the couple sat in the dining hall. The king brought out his special gift. "One last gift," he said as he handed the box to her.
Queen Myra opened the box and pulled out the old scuffed boots. "I don't understand," she said softly.
"Neither do I, but put them on. Please."
With a shrug, the queen pulled the high boots on and smoothed the supple leather up her calves. She took a deep breath and crossed her legs. "Lace them up for me," she said, her words almost an order.
Startled, the king knelt at her feet and threaded the laces through the dozens of eyelets. As he went to tie the first one, Myra snapped, "Tighter."
Bemused, he tightened the laces, tied the top, and then laced and tied the other boot. Now what? he wondered. He didn't have long to wait. "Get undressed," Myra commanded.
"What?"
"You heard me," she said, picking up a linen napkin, twirling it into a rope, and snapping it at him. "Now!"
As quickly as he could, the king removed his clothes, until he stood before his wife, totally naked. She snapped the napkin against the king's erect cock, which stuck out from his groin. "That's going to have to wait," she said, lifting her skirts. She picked up a knife from the table, cut through the sides of her panties, and pulled the silk from between her thighs. "Pleasure me," she said to her flabbergasted husband.
"Oh yes, my dear." He knelt between her knees and slid his hands up the soft white skin inside her thighs. His thumbs reached her cunt and gently parted flesh.
As she slid forward to give him better access to her slippery flesh, she looped the napkin around the back of his neck and pulled him toward her. "Do it," she growled.
Eagerly, he buried his face in her musky cunt and licked at her swollen clitoris. "Gently," she said. "Lick along the slit, then flick you tongue over my clit." As he found her rhythm, she settled back into her chair. "Yes," she purred, "that's good. Faster now."
He complied, feeling her excitement rise. Her juices flowed from her body, bathing his tongue in her salty fluid. She used the cloth to hold his head against her until, with a scream, she came. Panting, she relaxed her hold on him.
"Oh, darling," she said, "I've never felt like this before--so powerful, so able to take what I wanted."
"I know. The wizard promised that those boots would have an invigorating effect on our sex life, but I never expected..."
"The wizard?"
"I told him about our love life and how I wanted you to take a more active role. He gave me the enchanted boots to give to you."
Queen Myra leaned forward and snapped the napkin across the king's naked buttocks. "You talked about our sex life. You really must be punished for that."
The king laughed and bowed down before her. "Yes," he said. "Your wishes are my commands."

The Cobbler

One night, a poor cobbler who made shoes for the residents of a small village received a message from a mysterious visitor who bade him make a pair of shoes each month and leave it on his workbench on the night of the full moon. "Good fortune and happiness will be yours," the message said. For three months, he did as he was asked, and he now had more customers than he could handle and money enough for all the things he ever wanted.
Whom shall I thank? he wondered. So one full-moon night, he hid in his cobbler shop and watched. At precisely midnight, a beautiful girl dressed in a green gown magically appeared and quickly slipped the new shoes onto her feet. For almost an hour, she danced around the shop to music that only she could hear. Then, as mysteriously as she had appeared, she vanished.
For the next month, the cobbler was obsessed with her beautiful face, her full breasts and long legs. So the next full-moon night, he hid, and when the girl appeared, he slowly moved from his hiding place behind a pile of hides. "You like my shoes?" he asked softly.
At first, the girl appeared frightened, but as the cobbler approached, his warm smile calmed and then excited her. "Yes, very much," she said finally. "The soft leather caresses my feet and I dance to feel their magic. Then I return to my people and give the shoes to their new owner."
"You like the feel of leather?" the cobbler asked.
"I love the look and feel and the smell," she said. "And I love the way your strong hands can shape and smooth it into shoes and boots. I watch you often from my secret place."
"There are other ways to enjoy leather," the cobbler said, already hungry for the girl's body. "I would love to show you."
The girl looked at the bulge beneath the cobbler's apron and smiled. Slowly, he approached her, and as he held her, he became aware that she was naked under her gown. Smiling, the cobbler drew her gown over the girl's head, picked her up, and sat her down, naked, on the pile of hides. "Feel the leather on your naked ass," he whispered. "Smell the fragrance of the new skins."
As the girl lay back, the smooth leather caressed her body from calves to head. As the cobbler watched, she turned over and moved her body sinuously across the hides, rubbing her breasts and belly on the leather. When she turned back over, her nipples were swollen and her arms reached out for him. "Love me here," she said. When the cobbler had pulled off his clothes, the girl could clearly see that his hard cock was ready to plunge into her. "Fill me with your hard cock while I fill my senses with this wonderful leather."
Quickly, the cobbler lay beside her body and slid his hands over her blazing flesh. As his fingers slid between her spread legs, he felt her wetness and knew she was ready for him. He levered himself up on his elbows and knees and positioned his erection at the dripping entrance to her hungry body.
Unable to wait, the girl wrapped her legs around the cobbler's waist and pulled him into her. As he loved her, he took the corner of the topmost hide and stretched it across her face, beneath her nose, so she was enveloped by the smell of the newly tanned skin.
Harder and harder, he plunged into the girl's tight channel until neither could hold back any longer. They moaned as they came almost simultaneously.
Later, when their breathing had calmed, the girl said, "I'll come here every full-moon night. Will you be waiting for me?"
"Oh yes," the cobbler said. "And I'll make some special leather clothing for you to wear while we make love."
Now, each full-moon night the villagers hear squeals and giggles and the sounds of lovemaking coming from the cobbler's shop. And occasionally, the cobbler can be seen dancing to music only he can hear.

The Princess Tests

"Well, son," the king said, "Princess Amanda has passed all the princess tests so far--looks, dress, manners, poise."
"I know," Prince Mark said, "she's perfect for me. I've spent a lot of time with Amanda, and, Father, I know that I want to marry her."
"There's one test left," Queen Bertrice said.
"There is?" the prince said. "I've not heard of any more tests."
"The test of vulnerability," the queen continued. "I will go into her room this afternoon and place a pebble under her mattress. She must be so delicate that it bruises her skin."
"That's ridiculous," Mark said. "No one could pass that test."
"That's the way it is," the queen said. "And if she doesn't pass, we'll have to send her packing and try another candidate." She looked at her husband, the king. "Do you agree, my lord?"
"I certainly do," the king said to his son. "She must pass all the princess tests in order to be allowed to marry you."
Prince Mark sighed. One last test and Amanda will be mine. I'll make sure she passes.
"And no cheating," Queen Bertrice said. "I want your promise that you won't tell her anything. Not one word. Promise me."
"Not one word," Prince Mark said, his mind already wrestling with the problem. "I won't tell her a thing. You have my promise."
Late that evening, Prince Mark made his way through the halls of the palace and tiptoed quietly into the princess's room. Amanda lay curled on her side, sound asleep, her long dark hair spread on the snowy pillow, her shape barely visible in the low light from the fireplace. Mark slipped out of his clothes and slid between the fine silk sheets. He curled his body against her back and licked the base of her neck. They had seldom been away from the king and queen, but when they had been alone, the prince fondled and caressed the princess until they could hardly wait until their wedding night.
"Mmmm," Amanda purred as she slowly came awake. "Is this a beautiful dream?"
"No, my love," Mark said. "I had to come to you tonight." He pressed his loins closer to Amanda's beautiful soft buttocks. "You can feel how much I want you."
"I want you, too," Amanda said, "but we should wait until we're wed."
"I can't wait any longer. I want you now. And," he said, pausing, "I want to see you while we make love."
"But it's almost completely dark in here and we dare not light a lamp. Someone might see the glow and come in."
He climbed from the bed and pulled Amanda to her feet. Quickly, he pulled her nightdress from her body and lifted her in his arms. "Let me love you here, on the hearth, where I can look into your eyes while I take you."
Amanda wrapped her arms around Mark's neck and kissed his smooth chest. "Yes, my love. I want to look at you, too. And we'll be married soon, anyway."
The prince placed Amanda's smooth naked body on the bricks of the hearth, appreciating the way the firelight made her skin glow as if lit from within. "Ouch," she squealed. "The bricks are a bit uncomfortable." When Mark placed his mouth on the tiny bud between her thighs and sucked gently, she forgot any discomfort. He licked the length of her moist slit, then sucked her clit into his mouth again. "Darling," she moaned, "take me now. I'm so hungry for you."
"Yes, my love," he said, lifting her legs over his shoulders and ramming his cock into her waiting channel. Over and over, he pounded while she lifted her hips to meet his thrusts. At the moment of their simultaneous climax, he dropped her legs and covered her mouth with his, muffling their cries of ecstasy.
When their breathing returned to normal, Prince Mark took a soft cloth and cleaned Amanda's body and his own. Then he gently lifted her in his arms and carefully placed her back in bed. Reluctantly pulling his clothes on, he blew her a kiss, then slipped back out the door.
The following morning, the prince and his parents were sitting at the breakfast table when Princess Amanda walked in. "How did you sleep?" the queen asked.
"I slept well," Amanda said, seating herself at the huge table. Then she turned and winked so only the prince could see. "But my back is a bit sore."
"Mother," the prince said, "isn't it time we began preparing for the wedding?"
"Immediately," the queen agreed.
Later that afternoon, the king found his wife in the garden. "All right," he said, seating himself next to her. "What was that final-test nonsense? I never heard of the test of vulnerability."
"Neither did I," the queen said. "It was really a test for our son. I knew he would never break his word and tell her about the pebble. I just wanted to see whether his love for her was great enough for him to figure out how to get what he wanted." The queen grinned slyly. "And, like father like son, he obviously did."

The Spirit Voice

Hans, the farmer, and his wife, Meg, had been married for exactly twenty-five years that very day. In the beginning, everything had been wonderful and their life together had been exactly what they both wanted. Then there were children and so many other concerns that their bedroom play had dwindled to almost nothing. Now their children were grown and married, but their bed play hadn't improved.
Late that warm summer afternoon, the farmer had just finished milking the last of the cows when he heard a voice. "Oh, farmer," the soft, muffled voice said, "I am the voice of your guardian spirit. Take your wife to the forest clearing beside the waterfall and I will grant you a night of bliss."
"Why do you do this for me?" Hans asked.
"You've been a good and kind man ever since you first moved to this farm. You've taken only enough milk for your family to drink, only enough eggs to eat, and only enough wool for your wife to make into garments she sells in the village. I've been watching you, and I now feel that you and your lovely wife deserve a reward."
"How will you make this happen?" the farmer asked.
"Go to the clearing and I'll tell you and your wife exactly what to do to regain the joys of your youth."
"But..."
"Stop asking so many questions," the voice said, "and take a blanket to the clearing tonight one hour after sundown."
The farmer rushed into the house and told his wife what had happened. It took only a little convincing for her to agree. An hour after sundown, the couple stood in the center of the clearing, the blanket laid at their feet.
"What shall we do?" Meg asked.
"Take off your clothes," a soft voice said.
"That's the voice I heard," Hans said. He looked at his wife by the light of the almost-full moon and shrugged. After only a moment's hesitation, Hans sat on the blanket and watched as Meg began to remove her clothes. As she slowly unbuttoned her blouse, the farmer said, "I'd forgotten what a joy it is to watch you undress."
"I'd forgotten how good it is to see that look in your eyes." Slowly, she opened her blouse and revealed her tawny breasts, which were tipped with dark, smoky nipples.
As Hans reached out to touch her, the voice said, "Don't touch. Just look."
Smiling in the moonlight, Meg allowed the blouse to slip from her shoulders and untied the sash of her skirt. Soon she stood in the grass of the clearing naked. Han's eyes roamed over her lush body, from her soft shoulders and long legs to the black triangle between her thighs. "So lovely," he whispered. "I'd forgotten."
"Now, farmer," the voice said. "Remove your clothes. Slowly, as your wife did."
Soon, the farmer's shirt and pants, shoes and socks joined his wife's clothes. "Now," the voice continued, "kneel on the blanket, facing each other and close your eyes." When they had done as the voice asked, it said, "Touch each other with only your fingertips. Nothing more."
While Hans slowly ran his fingers over Meg's shoulders and down her arms, Meg tangled her fingers in her husband's chest hair, remembering its coarseness. They felt each other's eyes and lips. For long minutes, twenty fingers glided over skin smooth and rough, soft and hard, moist and dry.
Eyes still closed, Hans slid his hand down Meg's belly to the curly hair between her thighs. Meg caressed Han's hip and slowly slid toward his hardened shaft. As Han's fingers found Meg's moist, receptive opening, her hand stroked his hard erection. Together, with increasingly hungry fingers, the couple stroked and rubbed, waiting for the voice to tell them to go further.
"You may open your eyes and use your hands," the voice said, "but nothing more."
Meg parted her knees so Hans could slip two fingers into her hot, dripping pussy. Trembling with excitement, she wrapped her hand around his rock-hard cock and squeezed. They played and teased and excited each other until they could wait no longer. "I can't wait for the voice," Meg whispered.
"Nor can I," Hans growled. He pushed his wife onto her back and plunged into her, fucking her hard and fast until, with screams of pleasure, they both climaxed. Holding each other, the two lovers fell into a light sleep.
After that magic night, Hans and Meg went to the clearing often. Each time, the spirit voice found a new way for the two lovers to enjoy each other.
In the years that followed, their friends in the village often asked them the secret of their happiness. "We enjoy going to the clearing near the waterfall in the evenings." They they would smile and wink at each other. "You'd be surprised how refreshing it can be."

The Village Outcast

Every woman in the small village hated Marcella. She was young and pretty, and the local men constantly ogled her lush body, which was only partly hidden in the revealing peasant blouse she usually wore. The women knew that several of the unmarried men visited her tiny house late in the evenings. They suspected that a few of the married ones did, too.
One morning, when all the men were out in the fields, the women made their way silently into Marcella's hut, tied her hands, put a sack over her head, and dumped her into a wagon filled with straw. A fat old matron named Hilda drove her out of town and deep into the nearby woods. Farther and farther she drove, until there was little chance that Marcella would find her way back to the village.
As Hilda dumped Marcella from the wagon, she said, "Here's enough food for three days." She dropped a sack beside the road. "And there's a knife inside so you can cut your bonds. You will eventually find your way from the woods, but don't come back to our village. If we see you again, your punishment will be much worse."
By the time Marcella had removed the sack from her head and cut the ropes that held her hands, she could no longer even hear the wagon that had brought her. She stood up, dusted off her skirt, and then, having no plan, she picked up the food sack and wandered aimlessly through the thick woods.
Sometime during the afternoon of the third day, Marcella heard shots. Someone's out there, she thought. She started to cry for help, then stopped. It could be anyone, good or bad. Then she shook her head, because it really didn't matter. She hadn't seen a road or any sign of civilization for three days, and she was running out of food. She looked down at herself, straightened her blouse, dusted off her skirt, and pinched some color into her cheeks. "I'll be all right. I'll make out." She took a deep breath. "Help! Help me," she screamed.
"Where are you?" a male voice called.
"Here, right here." Marcella heard the sound of heavy feet crashing through the thick foliage. Suddenly, two men emerged from the undergrowth. Both were tall and bearded, and they wore soft brown shirts, matching leather jerkins, and tight leather pants. Not bad, she thought, looking the two men over. Not bad at all. "Oh, I'm so glad you found me. I'm totally lost." She arranged her face in a pleasing pout.
"Lost?" the taller one said. "You certainly are. You're many miles from the nearest road. The only thing around here is our cabin."
"Cabin." She sighed, untangling her long, soft hair with her fingers. "I had to sleep in a cave last night and I haven't been able to wash or anything." She smiled her most engaging smile.
"My name is Theron and this is my brother Bruno," the taller man said. "We're hunters and we shoot game in this forest."
"How do you do," she said. "I'm Marcella."
"You're very beautiful," Bruno said, his eyes roaming the girl's body.
"Thank you, Bruno. You know, I'd give anything for a drink of cool water and a tub to wash in." She winked. "And I do mean anything."
"Well," Theron said, "it's only a short walk to our cabin. I'm sure we can find a drink for you, and a washtub." Together, they made their way to a small but pleasant log cabin. Behind the building was a small vegetable garden, and there were flowers beside the front door. As he saw her looking at the garden, Bruno said shyly, "I love things that grow."
Marcella stared at the obvious swelling between Bruno's legs. "I'll just bet you do." She followed the two handsome men into the spacious cabin. Theron handed her a cup of cool water and she drank every drop. As she put the cup on the table, she asked, "Do you really have a tub in which I might bathe?"
Theron and Bruno brought a giant washtub from behind the house, then filled it with hot water from a caldron near the fire. "I've even got some soft soap here," Theron said, handing a small cake to Marcella. He paused, then said, "We'll wait outside."
"You don't have to," Marcella said, smiling. "Wouldn't you like to watch? As a matter of fact, wouldn't you like to wash with me?"
Theron thought a moment, then pulled his jerkin and shirt off. "We certainly would."
While Marcella watched, Bruno also stripped to the waist. "Oh my," she purred, "you are both wonderful to look at." Slowly, she pulled her blouse over her head, exposing her large, firm breasts. Two sets of eyes were riveted on her smooth skin and tightly puckered nipples. Marcella untied her sash and allowed her skirt and pantaloons to fall to the floor. Stepping out of her shoes, she quickly climbed into the steaming water, and while the brothers watched, she thoroughly washed her body, caressing every inch of her skin with soapy hands.
"You know, I could use a wash, too," Theron said, scooping up a handful of soapy water and pouring it over his head. Rivulets of water ran over his heavily furred chest and down his belly.
"So could your brother," Marcella said, splashing water at the other half-naked man. Soon the brothers were soaked, as was the floor of the cabin. "Why don't you step out of those sopping pants," she said.
"Of course," Theron said, pulling off his soggy pants. Bruno followed his brother's lead and romoved his trousers.
Marcella stood up in the tub, water sluicing down her lush body. "Would you like to help me dry off?" When Theron handed her a towel, she said softly, "I had something else in mind. I thought you might dry me off with your mouths."
With no hesitation, Theron stuck out his tongue and licked droplets of water from Marcella's left breast while Bruno did the same with her right.
Marcella felt her knees begin to buckle as she relished the sensation of two mouths sucking at her breasts. Letting her head fall back, she tangled her fingers in each man's hair, pulling each head more tightly against her. "Oh yes," she moaned.
"You taste very good," Theron groaned, standing up.
"Very good indeed," Bruno echoed.
Marcella soaped her hands and took one heavy, swollen cock in each, rubbing slippery soap all over the rock-hard erections. "Oh my, you are both so big." She stroked and squeezed until she knew they were ready to come. Quickly, she poured water over the two men, then knelt down in the tub. She pulled Theron until he stood in the tub in front of her. As she took his hard cock into her mouth, she guided Bruno's cock into her pussy from behind. With one cock filling her mouth and one filling her cunt, Marcella was in heaven.
All too soon, Theron's cock filled her mouth with come, and Bruno's spurted into her pussy. The two men withdrew, and at her urging, Theron stroked her taut nipples and Bruno rubbed her clit with the tip of his now-deflating cock. Soon she screamed, "Yes. Like that. Don't stop." Her back arched and she climaxed, still kneeling in the tub.
Later, after dinner, Theron said, "We'd like you to live here with us. We have more than enough food, and we could make one another very happy. Would you stay?"
"Well," Marcella said, "I was trying to get back to my village."
"Is there anything that anyone in your village can offer you that we can't?" asked Theron.
"And don't forget," Bruno added, "every pleasure we offer here is double what you'd get anywhere else."
Marcella looked at the two brawny men eager to serve her, and after about a half of a second's thought, she opened her arms to the brothers. "After all," she conceded, "it's an offer no lusty woman in her right mind could refuse."

Golden Locks

Odile had the longest, most beautiful hair in the village, and she knew it. She spent hours in the sun in front of her father's butcher shop combing the golden curls that hung almost to her knees, dreaming of the man she would one day marry.
One afternoon, her father sat down beside her, knowing he could put this moment off no longer. "Odile," he said hesitantly, "I've found a husband for you. His name is Galard and he's a wealthy landowner from the far side of the mountains. He's sending a coach for you tomorrow. You'll drive to his mansion and be married immediately."
Odile was silent for a long time. "Is he handsome?" she asked.
"He's very handsome, very rich, and only a few years older than you are. He heard of your beauty and sent an emissary to make all the arrangements." He cleared his throat. "And he wants many children."
Odile thought of all the servants and all the beautiful dresses she would have. And chocolates. She looked at her father's stained apron and smiled. And she'd never have to smell meat again. "What time will the coach be here?"
The following morning, in a whirlwind of activity, Odile left the village. She arrived at the enormous mansion and was whisked into the dimly lit chapel for a brief marriage ceremony. As she was hustled up to the bedroom, she realized that she had hardly seen her new husband. A serving girl quickly removed her gown and undergarments.
"Such wondrous hair." The girl sighed. As she picked up a comb, Odile sat up and took it from her hands. "No one touches my hair but me," she said, running the teeth of the comb through a long golden lock. "You may go." Modestly, she pulled her hair forward until it covered her naked breasts.
Moments after the serving girl departed, the bedroom door opened and her new husband walked in. "Magnificent," he said. "When I heard about your luxurious hair, I knew I had to have you." He sat down on the edge of the bed and twisted one curl around his fingers.
Odile slapped his hand away. "No one touches my hair but me."
"You're my wife now," Galard said as he stood up and removed his shirt. Odile continued to comb her hair, all the time watching the play of steel-hard muscles beneath his suntanned skin. As he pulled off his pants, the comb froze in Odile's curls. His body was white where his breeches hid his skin from the sun, and, from a nest of black curls between his thighs, his erection thrust forward, eager for her. As she watched him approach, Odile felt molten heat flow through her bloodstream and settle in a fiery caldron in her belly.
Galard sat on the edge of the bed and lifted a lock of hair. He used the end as a brush to caress her neck and shoulders. "You will love what I can do with this hair," he purred, brushing on erect nipple. He pressed her back onto the pillows and, without touching her in any other way, drew the soft lock of hair across the hollow of her belly. No area of skin was untouched as Galard slid the silky strands over her body.
Odile's body was on fire as her hair glided across the backs of her knees and the sensitive skin of her thighs. Galard took one long lock from each side of her forehead and brushed the warm strands over his face. Then he pulled one lock down each side of her body, outside her tight breasts and then between her legs. He threaded one lock behind each thigh so that, when he pulled, her breasts were forced together and lips of her pussy were pulled open. He buried his face in the valley of her bosom, licking and kissing her deep cleavage. He kissed a line down her belly and drove his tongue into her naval.
Odile's entire body was trembling as he pulled the hair taut, opening her further so his tongue could lick her most intimate flesh. "Tell me," he whispered as he flicked his tongue across her clit.
"Yes," was all she could say.
He positioned his body above her and, still using her hair to hold her wide open, slid his hard cock into her heat. He released her hair and, ever so slowly, drew the strands from between her legs and across her clit.
"Yes," she said again. "Yes." Lying in a golden pool of her hair, Galard and Odile twisted, bucked, and drove until they both climaxed. "Oh, my lord," she gasped. "I never imagined it would be so amazing."
Later, she stretched, catlike, enjoying the feel of Galard's body pressed against her. As she extended her arms above her, Galard wrapped a cord of her hair around her wrists, tying her arms together. "This hair of yours is going to provide many pleasures in the future."
Not moving her deliciously imprisoned wrists, Odile smiled and asked, "Do we have to wait for the future?"

The Enchanted Prince

Prince John drove his hard cock into the woman's warm pussy and climaxed almost immediately. He withdrew and pecked a light kiss on her lips.
"All right, buster," the woman snapped, "that's it! I heard about you from several women, but I couldn't believe it until I spent these"--she raised an eyebrow--"very few minutes with you."
Smug and satisfied, the prince rolled onto his back and yawned. "Wasn't it good for you?"
"It was not, and you know it, you egotistical `slam bam thank you, ma'am´ popinjay."
"Now don't get all mad," he said, standing and pulling on his shirt. "Consider yourself lucky. You've been made love to by the best."
"Oh, I'm mad all right, and you're in deep trouble. You may think you're the best, but you're the worst, the most self-centered lover I've ever had." Suddenly a magic wand appeared in her hand. "From now on, no intercourse for you until an innocent woman asks--no begs--for it." She tapped him on the shoulder with her wand and a tight leather restraint suddenly wound itself around his cock and balls, then around his waist.
"Now wait a minute," John said, unsuccessfully trying to loosen the leather around his loins. "Who the hell are you?"
"I'm a witch. I'm usually a good and loving witch, as a matter of fact. But there are limits."
Unable to remove his leather restraint, John pulled on his britches and smoothed the fabric over it. "What do I have to do to get this thing off?" he asked, now both annoyed and nervous.
"Here's how this will work. You must find a woman who knows nothing about your enchantment, a woman you truly want to pleasure. Then you just make love with her."
The prince smiled. "That doesn't seem difficult."
The witch smiled, as well. "It must be long, slow love to give her pleasure, with no intercourse. You must go gently, helping her to enjoy every step. Only when she is so excited by your loving that she begs you to enter her will your body be free of the spell. And, of course, once you are free, you will be free forever." The woman patted the leather that stretched tightly across his cock, then disappeared.
Over the next several months, the prince tried lovemaking with several of the willing wenches in the local taverns, but to no avail. At the moment of truth the leather restraint remained in place. Finally, annoyed and thoughtful, John loaded a knapsack with food, wandered into the woods, and spent several days in a cave, deep in comtemplation.
The pretty village girl with ebony black skin and flashing black eyes came to the glade near the cave one afternoon. Knowing nothing of the spell, she spread her blanket and relaxed in the warm sun. Accepting what he had to do, the prince wandered over and offered her some bread and cheese from his knapsack. They talked and promised to meet the following afternoon. Each day for the next week, the prince settled on the blanket next to her. Finally, one afternoon as she dozed, he murmured, "You know, you're very beautiful, Belinda."
"Thank you," she said, appreciating the man's almost irresistably handsome face and sexy body. She had wanted him for days and hoped that maybe today...
John stroked her lips with the pad of his thumb, then leaned down and whispered in her ear, "I desire you so much."
She felt tiny kisses on her face and throat, burning everywhere they touched. "Yes. Oh yes."
He devoured her mouth, unable to get enough of her, moving his head, changing his position to better give her pleasure. Restraining his need to ravish her, John kissed and sucked each fingertip, then did the same with her toes. As he kissed her legs, she felt her dress and underwear slip off. She trembled as liquid heat flowed from her aching nipples to the empty place between her legs.
John's lips and tongue teased, advancing up her belly, then retreating until she was mindless with wanting. When she could wait no longer, Belinda tangled one hand in his hair and pulled his mouth to her breast. Her entire body shook with relief when he suckled, and it trembled as his hands traced the inside of her thigh, moving toward the heat that radiated so strongly from the center of her hunger.
Slowly, he told himself. Give her pleasure. John pinched and pulled at Belinda's nipples with one hand and pulled off his shirt with the other. He stretched out so his chest pressed against hers, rubbing his sweat-slick skin against her sensitive nipples. His foot made a path from ankle to knee; his hands roamed her arms, her ribs, her breasts and teased her soaked pussy. "God," he said, "you feel so good. I love touching and kissing you." And suddenly, he understood that it felt as wonderful to give pleasure as to get it. "I love pleasuring you."
"I want you," Belinda whispered. "I want you to make love to me." She took a deep shuddering breath. "Please!"
John pulled off his britches, and suddenly the leather restraint fell from his body. He used his knee to part the girl's thighs, and when he knew she could wait no longer, he positioned himself above her.
She was so excited that her body almost pulled him until he was sheathed entirely inside her. He looked into her eyes and knew it was as beautiful for her as it was for him. Slowly he began to move, establishing a rhythm that made them both satisfied and hungry at the same time.
Higher and higher they flew, until there was nowhere else to fly. She reached the sun and exploded with the heat of it, waves of pleasure washing over her. He shared her climax and let himself fly with her. For long moments, there was nothing but heat and swirling colors and music of love. "Oh yes," she moaned. "So good."
"Yes, it was," he said softly.
"Will you be here tomorrow?" she whispered.
He could go home and resume his life, he realized. But as he stroked Belinda's soft ebony breasts, he knew that all he wanted was to be here with his wonderful lover. "Oh yes, my love," he said. "You will see me often and we will make love. And I hope you will teach me how to give you more pleasure."
"We will find all the pleasures there are," she said as she cuddled against John's naked body, and, in the light of the setting sun, they both fell asleep.

The Magic Melody

For weeks, Benjamin, a shepherd, had been trying to trap the fox who had been terrorizing his sheep. One morning when he went to check his trap, he found a not-yet-full-grown kit inside and a fully grown vixen beside it. "I'm so sorry that my son has been terrorizing your sheep," the vixen said. "If you let him go, I promise that I'll teach him good manners."
"But my sheep are so skittish now that it's extra work for me to keep them from straying," Benjamin said.
"I'll give you a reward if you let my little one go."
Benjamin took the vixen's word and released the young kit from the trap. "Now you learn to behave," he told the kit, "and listen to what your mother tells you."
"Thank you, good shepherd," the vixen said. She hummed a strange melody. "Memorize this melody and anytime you hum it, the next question you ask will be answered truthfully."
"Interesting," Benjamin said, humming the tune. "Very interesting." The following day, Benjamin tried out the tune at the village market. Because the merchants were forced to be honest about prices and values, he got a surprisingly large sum for the wool he was selling and got a good bargain on his groceries. As he walked home with food for the week in his sack, he thought about his wife. She had always been very shy and reserved, and he wondered whether the tune might help him find out more about her, particularly in the bedroom.
That evening, after dinner, he sat beside his wife in the main room of their cottage with some new wine he had bought. He draped his arm around her shoulder and whispered in her ear. "Darling, what would you like to do this night?"
"Whatever you would like," his wife said.
Benjamin hummed his magic melody, then asked again, "What would you really like to do?"
She laid her head back on his arm and said, "I'd like you to kiss me." She pointed to her lips. "Here."
He kissed her lips, licking and nibbling at her mouth. He swirled his tongue with hers and inhaled her soft, clean scent. He hummed, then asked, "Now what?"
"I'd like to feel your hands on my breasts," she answered. She pulled her blouse over her head so her husband could stroke her soft, smooth flesh. Humming softly, Benjamin teased, swirling his fingers close to, but not touching, his wife's nipples. "Pinch them," she said, groaning. "Make me feel your fingers."
He squeezed and pulled at her nipples, watching them get hard and pointed. Her breasts seemed to swell and beckon. "Shall I suck them?" he asked.
"Yes," she whispered. "Suck them hard. Make them hurt."
Benjamin was surprised at her answer. He never imagined that his wife might enjoy a bit of pain. He hummed, then asked again.
"Yes," she answered. "Make them hurt."
Benjamin used his teeth and bit her tender flesh. "Yes," she moaned. "That feels so good." She grabbed the back of his neck and arched her back, forcing herself against his face. "More," she begged.
Benjamin sucked and pulled at her tits until her nipples were larger and tighter than he had ever seen them. Humming his magic melody, he asked, "Now what?"
"Be a little rough with me. Rip off my clothes and fuck me hard, right here on this floor."
Again, Benjamin was amazed. He always tried to be gentle and slow, loving and tender. But with the help of his melody, he knew that his wife wanted him to act differently right now --hard and fast. He wrapped his wife's hair around his fist and pulled, forcing her head back. "Like this?" he asked.
"Yes. Do it!"
He grabbed the front of her skirt and pulled it off her body. Then he ripped her pantalets down the front and, tugging at his britches, pushed her onto the rug. He slid his hands between her legs and felt the slick moisture that flowed from her excited body. One last time, he hummed and asked, "Are you sure?"
"Fuck me good!" she yelled.
Still partially dressed, Benjamin plunged into her overheated body and drove into her hard, thrusting over and over. "Yes," she screamed. "Harder." She grabbed his buttocks and bucked. "Yes, yes, yes! Don't stop!" She grabbed his hand and slid it between their bodies. "Rub here," she said, pushing his finger against her erect clit.
As his wife screamed and climaxed, Benjamin came, spurting deep into her body. They lay, panting, for many minutes.
"I don't know what got into me tonight," his wife said after she'd calmed down.
Smiling to himself, Benjamin said, "I don't, either." As he lay tangled with his wife, Benjamin thought about the things he wanted to tell her about their lovemaking, secret fantasies he wanted to share with her. Maybe, he told himself, maybe I'll teach her the magic melody and then I, too, will be "forced" to reveal my deepest, darkest desires.

The Sailing Woman

Daria was the daughter of a sailing man and lived in a tiny hut only a hundred yards from the great sea. For months at a time, her father and brothers would sail the seas, ferrying rich cargoes from foreign land to foreign land. Then they would come home and tell Daria and her mother wonderful stories of all the exotic places they had visited.
When she was about nine, Daria had been allowed to sail as far as the nearby port, then back, and she had fallen in love with the sea. She loved the ocean waves and the feel and the smell of the salt spray. She loved the colors and moods of the sea and sky from the calmest days to the fiercest storms. As she grew, all she ever wanted to be was a sailor. "Why can't I go along?" Daria pleaded. "I want to sail the seas and visit wonderful faraway places."
"You're a foolish girl," her mother had said just that very morning. "You can't be a sailor. You're a woman and one day soon you will marry. You will keep house for your sailor husband. You will cook and clean. You will share his bed, bear and raise his children. That is your destiny."
"But mother," Daria said, "I don't want to be left behind to do the housework. I want to travel everywhere there is to go, see everything there is to see."
"You're a foolish girl," her mother said, "and I'll hear no more about it."
"Your mother's right," her father said. He had just come home and was leaving again the following day. "And what's more, it's getting to be time for you to choose a husband. There are several young men in the village who have asked me about you."
"Never," Daria proclaimed. "I won't marry and become someone's wife and be land-bound forever." She stormed out of the house and ran to the tip of the rocky point where the waves from the great sea broke and sea spray washed the giant rocks. There she sat for a long time, staring at the line where the sea met the sky.
Suddenly, someone leapt from the water and landed at her side. Daria stared. The lower half of his body was fishlike, with a heavy tail and fins. The upper half of his body was all man, with muscular chest and well-developed arms. His face was strong and angular, and he had long black hair that hung down to his shoulders. Water poured from him as he settled on the rock.
As Daria watched, he extended his arms to the sea. "Neptune," he cried over the pounding of the waves, "it is I." Then he whistled and made several sounds Daria had never heard before. Slowly, as Daria stared, his bright blue and yellow fish scales began to fall off, his tail began to divide, and his cock appeared between a pair of tightly muscled legs. "Good day to you," the man said, unconcerned that he lay next to Daria completely naked. He brushed water from his body with his long fingers.
"G-g-g-good day to y-y-you, too," the girl stammered, unable to take her eyes from his beautiful form. "Who are you?"
"My true name would be impossible for you to pronounce, but you may call me Garal."
"What are you doing here" --she gestured toward his naked body-- "like that?"
"Like what?" the man said.
"You have no clothes on," the girl said.
"The better to swim in the great sea," he said. "Come, swim with me."
"I cannot," Daria said.
Garal stood up and, with a whisk of his hand, pulled Daria's simple dress over her head, leaving her standing naked in the salt spray. "Of course you can. Follow me." And with that, he dove into the foaming sea.
Daria hesitated only a moment, then followed Garal into the water. As she swam, she felt Garal's smooth body sliding over her skin, his hips brushing her back and sides. Like a porpoise, he dove and circled, rubbing his chest, sides, and legs against her. The feeling was heavenly, wet skin against wet skin. Soon, Daria learned to anticipate where he would surface next and moved her body so he would rub across her breasts and belly. As he circled, she ran her hands over his smooth, hairless body.
In one movement, he came up, with his back between her legs, and lifted her almost completely out of the water. "Ride me, sweet one. Ride on my back."
Daria wrapped her legs around his waist and together they made their way into deeper water. Almost out of sight of land, she felt Garal turn under her. He looked at her breasts, then into her eyes, and smiled. Slowly, his hands circled her waist, then slid up her ribs until his fingers tweaked her puckered nipples. "You're very beautiful," he whispered, caressing her flesh as her legs encircled his chest, her flanks flexing against his ribs.
Daria wasn't a stranger to love play, but this was different from anything she had ever done with the boys of the village. She was floating, bobbing, drifting in the cool water, with Garal's warm hands everywhere. When she thought she would sink, Garal tightened his hold on her waist and slid his chest back and forth between her thighs. His skin pressed the swollen flesh of her sex, her slippery juices mingling with the seawater.
With Daria's legs still wrapped around his body, Garal maneuvered until his great cock was poised at the mouth of her sheath. "Tell me you want me," he said over the roar of the waves. Overcome with the beauty of her feelings, Daria said, "Oh yes. Do it. Join with me."
Garal held her partway out of the water, then lowered her onto his shaft. Their buoyancy adding to the feelings of ecstasy, the two lovers joined and rolled. "Don't stop," Daria yelled over and over.
"Never, my love. I will never stop."
Hands, mouths, and bodies rubbed and pounded until Garal and Daria climaxed together.
Floating on the swells, they caught their breath. "Oh Garal," Daria gasped, "that was fantastic." Then her face became sad. "But what of us? We can never be together."
"But we can, my love. I know your longing to be part of the sea and I can promise you that if you choose to live with me, your life will be filled with adventure, amorous and otherwise. Is that what you want?"
Without a moment's hesitation, Daria nodded.
Garal slid his hands down Daria's flanks and, to her amazement, her legs fused and slowly became covered with iridescent green scales. She watched as his body re-formed also.
"Oh Garal, how wonderful." With her lover following, Daria dove gracefully through a great wave and swam toward the horizon.
She never looked back.

The Duke and the Lady

Veronica had been riding across her father's vast estate when a dozen men galloped from the forest and surrounded her mount. "Don't make a fuss," one said, "and we won't hurt you. The duke wants you unharmed."
Quickly, she was pushed into a carriage and, surrounded by the horses and the men, driven away. Fortunately, since she was well treated, the journey wasn't any more uncomfortable than it had to be. They stopped often and slept each night at a carefully selected inn along the road.
After more than a week, they arrived at a palatial mansion high on a hill. She was hustled from the carriage, up an enormous spiral staircase, and into a richly appointed bedroom. When she heard someone lock the door behind her, she became afraid. For hours, she paced the room, waiting for the mysterious duke to tell her what this was all about.
It seemed forever. The light from the window had long since faded and the tray of food someone had brought lay undisturbed on a table. Finally, the door opened and Veronica saw the uncommonly handsome man who had ordered her to be brought here. He stood, framed in the opening, his soft white shirt and brown leather jacket showing off his well-developed chest, his tight fawn-colored riding pants barely concealing his heavily muscled thighs. Although she was frightened of him, Veronica also yearned to run her fingers through his long black hair and feel its softness. But his piercing blue eyes prevented her from moving.
"You're mine now, darling," he said, his voice soft and mellow, "and I won't hurt you. You're a precious jewel to be worshipped and loved, and I intend to do both."
As Princess Veronica clutched her lace shawl across her breasts, her hands trembled. But she knew that, although she had never been with a man before, it wasn't fear. It was desire, hot and liquid, and it flowed through her body like honey. She had never felt anything like this.
Slowly, he crossed the small room and stood so close to her that she could feel his breath against her face. He raised his hand and stroked her cheek with the side of his thumb. "So soft," he whispered. "Your skin is like warm cream. Is it that soft all over?"
She was silent, unable to speak, fully under th man's spell. "I kidnapped you to convince you that we belong together. Let me show you. Let me love you," he whispered, sliding his fingers down her slender neck. She watched his lips move, watched the light from the candles on the desk reflect in his midnight blue eyes.
"I know you are still untouched and I promise that I won't do anything you don't want. Tell me to stop at any point and I will." He hesitated, waiting for her reaction.
She realized that she didn't want to stop him. She wanted him more than she had ever wanted anything. She wanted him now, here, in his bedroom.
When she remained silent, he murmured, "Oh yes, love. Oh yes." He placed his index finger under her chin and lifted her face. Softly, he brushed his lips across hers, gently, like the wing of a butterfly.
The princess closed her eyes as his lips tasted hers. She should resist, she thought, but she couldn't pretend. She wanted him and knew that she would let him do anything he wanted. As the duke cupped her face in his palms, she let her body melt against his, feeling the hardness of his chest and the bulge below that pressed against her belly. Some yearning deep inside of her made her press her lips closer, letting him know her hunger.
She lifted her hands and placed her palms flat against his chest. She could feel the heat of his body through his shirt, but she wanted to be closer. Impatiently, she dragged his jacket from his broad shoulders, pulled his shirt free from his pants, and slid her hands underneath. His chest was covered with soft hair and she greedily ran her fingers through it while the duke devoured her mouth, his tongue sliding in and out with a rhythm that was echoed in her belly.
It took only moments for them to be naked on his wide silken bed. "So beautiful," he purred, gazing at her luscious breasts and narrow waist. With a featherlight touch, his fingers traced across her jaw, down her neck, and out to the point of her shoulder.
It wasn't enough for Veronica. She wanted so much more. She took his hand and pressed it against the soft flesh of her breast. His caress caused her nipple to contract. He licked at her lips with long, sensuous strokes, then slid the flat of his tongue across the pulse in her throat to her swollen breast. He blew a stream of cool air along the damp path, causing heat to slash deep to her core. She could feel her own wetness on her thigh.
As his lips nursed at her breast, his hand slid down to fondle her swollen flesh, his fingers sliding through her warmth. Wanting to touch him also, the princess slid her hand down his chest. When she hesitated at his navel, unsure whether to continue, he groaned, "Don't be shy, my dove. Touch me. I will die without your touch." He took her hand and stroked the palm with the tip of his hard shaft. "Hold me," he moaned.
"Oh yes, my love," she whispered as she wrapped her hand around his hard shaft. Velvet over iron, she thought, and, no longer reluctant, she pressed him toward her virgin opening. Despite a moment's pain when they joined, she reveled in the feel of his cock as it filled her completely. Over and over, he drove into her, until she was soaring. They came then, together, waves of pleasure crashing over them until they both screamed their happiness.
Later, when they had calmed, he said, "Shall I take you back to your home, my love?"
"Never," she whispered. "My home is with you for as long as you want me."
"Forever, my darling. Forever."

The Thirteenth Suitor

Princess Liana closed the door to the music room of the palace and heaved a great sigh. "If I have to meet one more overbearing, self-centered, egotistical prince who's only interested in my dowry, I'll scream." She dropped into a chair in the parlor and a serving maid handed her a cup of tea. "Twelve of them in the past week," she groaned, "and no one I would spend a long weekend with, much less the rest of my life." She smiled. This evening's candidate had even stripped off his shirt to let her touch his well-developed chest. "Oh God, save me."
But she knew she would have to keep trying. Since her father had announced her availability for marriage, princes, dukes, earls, and other noblemen had been flocking to the palace for a chance to demonstrate how muscular, brave, beautiful, strong, wise, courteous, and generally wonderful they were. Each tried to convince her how lucky she would be should she choose him. And if she didn't select a fiancé within the next few days, her father would pick one for her.
The princess yawned, finished her tea, and wandered into her bedroom, stripping off her dress and petticoats as she walked. Three maids helped her off with the rest of her clothes and into her white cotton nightdress. "Good night, Your Highness," they said in unison, closing the door behind them.
"Peace and quiet." She sighed, settling into a soft chair by the fire. "Don't scream," a soft voice said from a darkened corner. "I only want to talk to you."
Princess Liana took a deep breath. "How dare you enter my chamber without any permission?" She clasped her hands to keep them from trembling. "Take one step toward me and I'll scream."
"I pray you won't do that," the voice said. "I'm here to request your hand in marriage."
The princess relaxed a bit. "A novel approach," she said, "but why didn't you make an appointment with the chamberlain like everyone else?"
"I'm not like anyone else," he said. "I wanted some private time to help you understand how wonderful we would be together. I've loved you for a long time."
"Do I know you?"
"Not really. We've met several times, but you didn't notice me. I saw you, how beautiful and sensual you are. And I wanted you. I want a chance to convince you how good we would be together."
"Not a bad approach," she said, stretching her legs. "But how do you plan to do that? I can't even see you."
"You won't need to see me, just hear my words. I'm going to tell you about our wedding night. The wedding will be held in my castle by the river," he said, "and we'll be tired from all the festivities. We'll probably be carried up to my bedroom by some of our guests; then they'll close the door and we'll be alone."
"We will?"
"Close your eyes and see it," the voice said. "The room is cool, but the fire is warm, so we'll stand near it while I kiss you, long and sweet." He let out a long sigh. "I love your lips, so red and full."
"Mmm," the princess purred.
"While I kiss you, I'll take all the pins from your hair and run my fingers through it. Then I'll slowly undress you. First, I will see your beautiful breasts, glowing round and white in the light from the fire. The nipples will be firm and tight, begging for my mouth."
Without conscious thought, the princess closed her eyes and cupped her hands beneath her small, tight breasts.
"I will stroke your skin, then suckle at your breasts until you're groaning, wanting more."
"Then what?" the princess said, her voice breathy and hoarse.
"Then I'll remove my clothing and the clothing that covers the lower part of your body and caress your waist and back and buttocks. I'll knead your behind while I press your body against me and hold you while I nibble at your neck and shoulder. Can you feel it?"
"Yes," the princess purred, rubbing her breasts and pinching her nipples. "It feels so good."
"Take off that nightdress so you can feel everything so much better."
Without hesitation, she pulled off her nightdress and settled back into the chair.
"As we stand together on our wedding night, you're getting more and more anxious for me. You're aching deep in your belly and between your legs. You need me. Slide your fingers down your belly and show me where you need me."
Liana slid her hands down her stomach until her fingers touched her springy hair. "Farther," the voice whispered. "Touch where you need me on our wedding night."
Her fingers slid lower, across the wet, slippery flesh. "Rub it the way I will. Touch where it feels best." The princess rubbed and explored her body. Every place she touched satisfied but also created a deeper need. When she hesitated, the voice encouraged. "Don't stop. Keep touching the way I will. Learn the hunger you're capable of and the joy when that hunger is satisfied."
She stroked until she found a special spot that gave her the most pleasure. She kept stroking until the spasms that began in her pussy consumed her entire body. "Oh Lord," she moaned. "So good."
For many minutes, the room was silent. Then, as Princess Liana sat up, a vaguely familiar form walked from the shadows. He was very tall and very thin and not very good-looking at all. The princess didn't notice.
"That's not nearly as good as it would be like on our wedding night," the man said. He bowed. "Prince Michael, at your service."
"Not as it would be on our wedding night," the princess said. "As it will be."

In the Forest

Once upon a time, in a peaceful kingdom near a great woods, lived a girl named Priscilla. Her father and two brothers went into the woods every day and returned with logs, which they sold in the nearby village. Priscilla and her mother stayed home and took care of the house, doing the cooking and cleaning. Fortunately, it wasn't a difficult job, so Priscilla had plenty of time to spend on more pleasant things. She often met men from the nearby village in a clearing in the woods, near a crystal stream, and frittered away the afternoon rolling naked with them in the soft grass or on the blanket she always had with her.
One afternoon, she arrived at the clearing. Nibbling on some wild berries, she heard a voice. "Help me. I'm stuck." She followed the voice and found a girl of about her age high up in a tree. "I can't get down," the girl said. "My dress is caught." Priscilla picked up a long branch and used it to unhook the stranger's dress from its entrapment.
"Thank you so much," the girl said as she climbed down from the tree. "I didn't think anyone would ever come."
"I'm just glad I heard you," Priscilla said. "But who are you and what in the world were you doing up there?"
"My name's Gilda and I'm from the other side of the village," the girl said. "I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I come here often, hoping to watch you with the men you meet."
"Spying?" Priscilla demanded.
"Yes," Gilda said wistfully. "I enjoy watching you and thinking how it would feel if it were me. With those men, I mean."
"You've never?"
"I'm to be married soon and if I went to my marriage bed already taken, it would be a disgrace. But I'm so curious."
Priscilla smiled. "I can help you understand what's to happen, yet leave you unspoiled."
"You can?" Gilda said. When Priscilla nodded, Gilda quickly agreed. "I know I must remove my clothes," she said, taking off her blouse. "I've seen you here so often and admired your beautiful skin. It looks like the finest satin." Quickly, the two women took off all their clothes.
Priscilla took Gilda's hand and kissed the tip of each finger. "Do you want to touch me?" she asked. She placed the girl's hand against her breast and felt Gilda's hand tremble. Despite her hesitancy, Gilda's hand moved as if on its own, fingers swirling and teasing. "You feel as soft as I had expected. May I kiss you?"
The two women kissed, drinking each other's sweetness. They collapsed onto the blanket and ran curious hands over each other's bodies. The curve of a back, the hollow of an underarm, the swell of a buttock --all were smoothed and stroked while their mouths learned about each other.
Priscilla guided Gilda's mouth to her tit, placing her nipple in the girl's mouth. "Taste it, Gilda. Taste my breast." Neither woman could keep her body still. Restless hunger possessed them both. When Priscilla could stand no more, she pressed Gilda onto her back on the blanket. Carefully, she parted the girl's legs and kissed the insides of her thighs.
As she kissed, she inhaled the womanly fragrance of her damp pussy. She's as hot and ready as I am, Priscilla said to herself. She touched her tongue to Gilda's swollen clit while she tickled Gilda's swollen labia with her fingers. As she licked and stroked, she felt Gilda's orgasm building. She lightly bit the tiny hard bud and heard Gilda cry out.
When Gilda's spasms passed, Priscilla climbed over the supine woman and crouched so her hot cunt was over the woman's face. "Do it to me as I did it to you," she said. "Then put your fingers into me."
Gilda gladly tasted the unfamiliar delicacy, using the pointed tip of her tongue to learn every crevice and fold of Priscilla's vagina. When she discovered the hard love button, she lashed her tongue over it, feeling the woman tremble.
As she licked, she probed the soaking, slippery opening with her finger, slowly sliding it into her partner's urgent body. "More," Priscilla cried, and Gilda inserted a second finger. Gilda instinctively knew the fucking motion and rhythmically inserted and withdrew her two fingers. When she added a third, she heard Priscilla scream, "Now. Right now." Gilda's mouth was drenched in cream and her fingers felt the waves of Priscilla's orgasm as she came.
Later, as the two women lay together, Priscilla asked, "How often do you wander through my woods?"
"Once a week," Gilda answered.
"Well, if you tell me when you'll be here, sometimes we can do this and sometimes you can climb that tree and watch me pleasure one of the men in the village." Priscilla giggled. "I can already picture your wedding night. Won't your husband be surprised by how much a simple virgin can know."

The Sea Sprite

Late one afternoon, a young man named Kedar was walking by the sea after dinner, thinking about how bored he was. He had lived his entire life here in the tiny fishing village on the edge of nowhere. "It's too quiet here!" he yelled out over the endless water. "Nothing exciting ever happens!" He smiled, thinking that soon he would have enough money saved to go to the city and have a real adventure.
Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, a beautiful girl appeared by his side. "Hello," she said, gazing straight into his eyes. "My name is" --she hesitated, as if considering, then continued-- "Alexia. May I walk with you?"
They walked away from the village, toward a deserted stretch of beach. For the next hour, Alexia asked him the most unusual questions about life and the people in the village and the things he liked to do. As twilight approached, they sat on the sand to watch the sun set.
The way Alexia kept looking at him was driving him crazy. There was an open, childlike curiousity about her. Her eyes were the color of the sea, sort of green and sort of blue --no, he couldn't describe their color any more than he could describe the color of her hair. It was at once red and gold, all the shades of the leaves in autumn.
In the fading light, she took his hand, and as she watched the sky darken, he watched her, his heart hammering. God, he thought, she's so beautiful. As the minutes passed, it became almost impossible to repress the mounting desire he was feeling for her. But he knew he must. After all, they had only just met.
"Can we do something else now?" Alexia asked in her slightly throaty whisper.
Why don't we lie down on the sand so I can tear all your clothes off and ravish your magnificent body? he thought.
"That sounds nice," Alexia said.
"Huh?"
"Lying on the sand and making love." She looked at him and smiled. "It sounds like something I would enjoy very much."
He knew he hadn't said anything aloud, but then, several times before, it seemed that she had read his thoughts. He glanced over and saw Alexia's small breasts barely covered by the soft gauzy shirt she wore. Her nipples stood out through the lightweight fabric. She smiled at him and pulled him toward her as if she again knew what he was thinking.
"You may think I'm crazy, but sometimes it seems that you can read my thoughts. Can you?"
"Only the very strong ones," she admitted somewhat ruefully. When she saw his puzzled look, she continued. "I'm not from here. I'm from somewhere very far away." She gazed out over the darkening sea.
"Out there?" Kedar asked.
She nodded. "I came here to learn about men and women and how they interact." She bit her lower lip and lowered her lashes. "Every way in which they interact."
"Yeah, sure," he said, thinking that she must take him for a total idiot.
"No, really. And I don't think you're a total idiot." She grinned.
Nonplussed, Kedar continued. "Okay. Let's assume that you're not completely nuts and I'm not completely nuts. Let's assume that you mean what you're saying. Why me?"
"Absolutely no reason, except that you interested and attracted me from the first time I saw you walking along the beach many weeks ago. It took me a while to work out all the details, but once I did, I came here to find you."
Kedar stared straight ahead and tried not to think about her small, high, tight breasts with their large and erect nipples.
Alexia turned his face until he was looking at her. Then she brushed one fingertip over her nipple, making it pucker. As he stared, she said, "I can read your excitement and I can make it good for you. I know just what you want most."
Although Kedar was taken aback by her forwardness, he had to admit that she was right. He wanted her very badly. His cock was so rockhard, it was almost painful.
"I don't like it that you're in pain," she said. "I can help." Through his pants, Alexia pressed the palm of her hand against his hard penis. "I can feel what you're feeling, and the sensations are wonderfully exciting."
Kedar groaned and let his head fall back.
"Oh," Alexia said, her eyes wide. "I didn't expect this to feel so soft yet so hard." She reached over, unfastened his pants, then wiggled a finger deep into the opening in the front. She slid the soft pad of her finger up and down Kedar's erection. "That feels wonderful," she said, panting. "And it's making you so excited. That excitement...I've never felt anything like it."
He could hardly catch his breath. "Are you actually feeling what I'm feeling?"
She shivered with pleasure. "Yes, yes. I can experience what you feel and I know exactly what you want." She pulled his cock out of his pants, until it stood firm in his lap. She licked her lips and kissed the tip, which was already oozing with thick fluid. When he reached for her, she said, "No. Just relax. I want to share your pleasure with you. Don't move; just feel."
Alexia wrapped her hand around Kedar's thick shaft and squeezed, pressing slightly downward, pulling the skin taut over the tip. "Oh my! That's wonderful," she said.
Kedar had no idea how she was doing it, but Alexia was touching him exactly the way he wanted to be touched. He didn't know whether she was inside his mind or not, but whatever it was, it was incredible. He pictured her mouth on his cock and suddenly felt her wet lips. "Oh yes. Do that. Take it all the way," he whispered.
Alexia drew Kedar's penis deep into her mouth, until the entire length was held within her wetness. She moved her tongue so it tasted every part of his shaft. She pulled back slowly. "Ah." She sighed. And, speaking with the tip of Kedar's cock against her lips, she murmured, "I never imagined how good this would feel."
"Me either," Kedar said as Alexia sucked him into her mouth again. She knew precisely the correct rhythm of sucks and licks it would take to bring him to the peak of pleasure. Then, before he could climax, she backed off just a little, sharing the combination of torture and pleasure that Kedar was feeling. "Oh, Alexia," he groaned, "do it for me." He saw her smile.
"Like this?" She sucked his entire length into her mouth and reached into his pants to scratch his balls with her fingernail. He couldn't hold back, and he erupted into her mouth. As he came, he felt her body convulse with pleasure.
"Incredible," they said in unison.
More. I want more, Kedar thought to himself.
Alexia smiled knowingly. "And you shall have it," she whispered.

The Talisman

"Oh, fairy godmother," Lissande said, gazing into her dusty mirror, "you've given me such beautiful clothes to wear to the ball at the palace and I'm so grateful."
"Of course you are, my dear," the godmother said. "And you'll have a wonderful time, meet several eligible noblemen, and maybe even find your heart's desire."
"I'm nervous. Who will want to dance with me? I'm not beautiful or desirable."
The godmother looked at Lissande and shrugged her shoulders. The girl was magnificent, long golden hair, deep green eyes, and a face and figure beyond compare. "I've told you and told you: You're sensational. Your sisters have you convinced that you're ugly, but actually, they've always kept you hidden so you won't outshine them."
"So you've said, but I look at myself and I see an ordinary-looking woman with little to offer a nobleman."
The godmother shook her head, grabbed Lissande by the shoulders, and turned her around. Her voice soft and conspirational, she whispered, "I have a magic talisman for you. But you must close your eyes while I make it ready." Lissande closed her eyes and the godmother fumbled in her skirt pocket and pulled out an old silver chain. "It will make you desirable to all the men at the dance. They will see you as a gorgeous, sensual woman and will be swept away with desire."
Checking that her charge couldn't see, the godmother reached down, pulled the jeweled buckle from one of her shoes, and hung it from the chain. Quickly, she placed the chain around Lissande's neck. "Look at yourself now."
Lissande turned and looked into a mirror. The small jeweled square hung low, almost hidden within her generous cleavage. As she turned to examine her reflection, the godmother whispered, "You will attract men like honey attracts bees. They will want to kiss your soft, sweet lips and caress your delicate skin. You will be irresistible."
Lissande straightened and smoothed the fabric over her tiny waist and generous hips. An enigmatic smile played at the corners of her mouth. "You know, you're right. I can see the effect of the talisman already. I am better-looking."
The godmother pulled Lissande from the mirror and hustled her down the stairs to the waiting coach. "Have a wonderful time." At her signal, the coach drove into the night.
Lissande arrived at the palace ballroom and silently made her way to the punch bowl. Would the talisman work? she wondered as she sipped a glass of punch and watched the beautiful men and women twirl around the room.
"Hi, gorgeous," a voice behind her said. "I'm Lord DeMonde. Phillippe to you. Are you alone?"
Lissande started to walk away, then stopped herself. He could be the man of my dreams. She touched the talisman hanging between her breasts, then answered, "Not anymore."
"Dance with me." For an hour, they drifted around the floor, talking and laughing. As the music became slower, Phillippe held her closer. "You're a lovely and intoxicating woman," he whispered into her ear, nibbling at the lobe.
"I'm glad you think so," Lissande said, gazing into his dark brown eyes.
He danced her into a dimly lit corner and as they swayed to the music, he placed tiny kisses on the sensitive skin behind her ear. "So lovely and sexy." He nipped at the tendon at the side fo her neck.
The charm was working, Lissande realized, and she'd never have a better chance to taste life's pleasures. "You are a very sexy man," she said hoarsely.
Without another word, Phillippe led Lissande into a small curtained alcove and pulled her against the length of his body. His lips captured hers and, for the first time, Lissande felt a man's yearning body pressed against her own. She opened her mouth and Phillippe's tongue invaded, stroking hers. As they kissed, his fingers explored the soft skin on her neck and shoulders.
Lissande slid her arms around his neck and clung, holding him close, trying to ease the sudden ached in her breasts and between her legs. "Oh, Phillippe," she whispered, her lips only a breath from his, "you feel so good." She moved so the curtain closed behind her, enveloping them in almost total darkness.
His lips still against hers, Phillippe caressed her collarbone and down the planes of her chest until his fingers slipped beneath the bodice of her gown and found the soft globe of her breast. As his fingers brushed the tip, Lissande's nipple tightened and her breast swelled until it filled his hand. She let her head fall back and floated in the sea of sensations. "More," she whispered.
Phillippe backed up until his calves touched the settee at the rear fo the alcove. He picked Lissande up in his arms and sat, placing her gently in his lap. Quickly, he shifted the bodice of her gown until he could suckle at her hot, erect nipple. "Oh God, you taste so good," he whispered, pinching her other breast and, simultaneously, reaching for her ankle.
Lissande moved so he could caress the skin on her calves and backs of her knees. As he brushed the delicate flesh at the inside of her thighs, she shivered, parting her legs to allow his fingers better access.
The full skirt and petticoats were no impediment to Phillippe's fingers, and he found her hot, sticky, swollen flesh, covered only by a thin layer of the finest fabric. "This silk is not half as soft as your skin," he whispered, his mouth moving from breast to breast. He gently bit the tip of one nipple and, as Lissande's body shuddered, he rubbed the swollen button of her clit. "So responsive," he said, rubbing her heat.
"Don't stop," she said, feeling the tension rise in her belly and the secret place between her legs. Higher and higher he drove her, until she reached her climax. As she was about to scream out her pleasure, Phillippe covered her mouth with his. He continued stroking until he had drawn every ounce of her orgasm from her.
Realizing that they had been gone from the ball for a long time, Phillippe said, "Go riding with me in my very private carriage first thing tomorrow morning." He smoothed her skirt and restored her bodice to its original location. Then he took her hand and placed it on the hard bulge in his trousers. "Please say you'll meet me."
"Of course I'll meet you," Lissande said as they slipped from the alcove. For propriety's sake, they separated and she danced with several other men, including a handsome blond count who invited her to go to the theater with him the following evening. I have found my heart's desire, she realized, agreeing to meet still another lord in the parlor later that evening.
As she sipped some punch, she reached for the talisman and realized that she hadn't felt it around her neck since her interlude in the alcove. Lissande looked, and she quickly found it under the settee. "When those other men found me attractive," she said aloud, "I wasn't wearing this. Maybe I really am beautiful and seductive, and that has always been my heart's desire." She giggled, slipped the buckle and chain into her pocket, and made her way back to the dance floor. She batted her eyelashes at a handsome lord and smiled behind her fan. I guess my fairy godmother was right, she thought as the lord crossed the room toward her. I have found my heart's desire.

The Three Princesses

"But sire, I did nothing," Lord Timothy said.
"You saved my son from the evil knight," the king said, "and you shall have the choice of one of my three daughters to wed. They are all well-bred princesses and any one of them will make you rich and happy."
"It is true that I came here to choose a wife, but a princess? And how shall I choose?"
"Spend the day with them by the lake; then tell me tomorrow whom you have selected."
They heard giggling, and suddenly three beautiful young women entered the throne room.
"Anna, the one in red, is my eldest," the king said. Then he indicated a girl dressed in a flowing green gown. "Beatrice is my second, and Cara my third." Cara was dressed all in blue.
"They are indeed lovely, sire," he said, unable to take his eyes off of the three fantastically beautiful women. "They look so alike."
"We are not alike in all ways," Anna said. "My hands can create great art, Beatrice can make any instrument sing, and Cara can outlast anyone at any sport. Come with us to the lake and you can get to know our talents."
Beside the lake, Anna spread several blankets on the grass and Lord Timothy made himself comfortable. The four shared a sumptuous meal, accompanied by rich ruby red wine. Relaxed, Timothy stretched out on the blanket.
"Let us show you our skills," Anna said. In turn, each woman kissed him in full on the lips, tongues and lips caressing and entwining until he wasn't sure which one he was enjoying. Mouths covered his face and neck, nipping and sucking at his skin.
"You're wonderful," Beatrice said, "and any one of us would be happy to marry you. But in order for you to choose, we need to show you how we are different."
"My hands are where my talent lies," Anna said. She quickly removed Timothy's shirt and ran her palms down his hairy chest. She flicked a long fingernail over his flat nipple and heat slashed through him. She rubbed and scratched his shoulders and arms until he longed to reach out and hold her close. His skin was burning with need.
"My mouth is my talent," Beatrice said. While Anna stroked Timothy's upper body, Beatrice pulled off his boots and pants. She licked the tender skin of his inner thigh, then touched her tongue to the end of his erect cock. Slowly, she slid her lips down his erection until its entire length was in her warm, wet mouth.
"My body is my talent," Cara said. As she crouched over his face, Timothy realized that she had nothing on under her skirt. "I can hold myself poised over your mouth all day." She lowered her pussy until the smell of her filled his nostrils and his tongue reached for her clit. He licked the length of her slit, loving her wet flesh as he felt her move above him.
He couldn't believe the combination of sensations. Anna's hands caressed and scratched his chest, making his skin glow. "Yes," she said, "great art."
Beatrice's mouth played his cock like an instrument, creating harmonies he had never dreamt of. "The music of the ages," she whispered against his saliva-slick skin.
Cara's body was sensational, moving so his probing tongue could devour her. "I can make this last forever," she said, panting from the excitement.
Cara held back her climax until Timothy's cock erupted into Beatrice's mouth. Then she came, wetting his face with her juices. "Oh, ladies," Timothy said later, when his breathing had calmed. "That was the most fantastic time I've ever had. But how can I possibly choose one of you to marry?"
"I would suggest," Anna said, "that you tell our father you need more time."
"What you don't know," Cara said, "is that we have a fourth sister, Dolly. She's married now, but before her husband chose, we kept the lord who is now her husband entertained for weeks..."

The Toll Bridge

The two peasant girls sat on top of the hill, gazing at the apple orchard on the other side of the fast-rushing stream. "Those apples are perfectly ripe," Maura said, tucking her bare feet beneath her full skirt.
"And so delicious," her friend Lydia said. "But to get there, we have to cross the footbridge." The two girls gazed at the rickety bridge and the gate at the far end. "And I'll bet Hugh will be at the other end, collecting his piece of silver for the toll." She thought of their empty pockets. "We could try to cross by using the rocks in the stream," she said.
"We could, but I've tried and fallen too many times." As they sat and stared at the apple trees heavy with ripe red fruit, Maura settled back on her elbows. "You know, Hugh's kind of cute. Maybe I could keep him occupied while you sneak across and collect enough apples for both of us." She handed Lydia her basket.
"Do you mean what I think you mean?"
Maura winked. "Why not? The few times I've seen him in town, he's looked at me as though he would be interested." She stood up, brushed bits of grass from her skirt, and trotted down the hill. "And he's adorable. I love men with dark skin and great muscles." With one hand on the rope handrail, she slowly made her way across the wooden slats, letting her hips sway as she walked.
"Hello, Maura," Hugh said as she reached him. "Are you here for apples? You have to pay the toll, you know."
"Maybe I'm not here for apples," she said, rubbing her hand up and down Hugh's muscular arm. "Maybe I'm here for you."
"Really?" he said, gazing down the front of Maura's oft-washed blouse into the shadowy valley between her lush, unrestrained breasts.
Maura trotted down the slope to the bank of the stream and placed her bare foot on a rock that was partly submerged. "Come walk with me."
Hugh made his way to the riverbank, pulled off his boots, and reached for Maura's hand. Together, they walked from rock to rock, toward the deep shadows under the bridge. "The water's very cold," Maura said as she waded through a shallow pool and sat in the shade on the bank.
Hugh sat beside her and rubbed his knuckle down her cheek. "And you're very warm." He kissed his fingertip, then rubbed it across her lips. "Very warm indeed."
Maura nipped the end of his finger, then wrapped her hand around the back of his neck and pulled him close. "Maybe we could stay warm together." She touched his lips with the tip of her tongue.
Quickly, he deepened the kiss, exploring the inside of her mouth with his tongue and tangling his fingers in her long brown hair. They moved their mouths, tasting and retasting until that wasn't enough. "Oh, Maura," Hugh groaned, sliding the blouse from her shoulders, baring her small, tight breasts tipped with large coffee-colored nipples, "I knew you'd be so beautiful."
Their hands and mouths were everywhere at once. Hugh lifted and molded Maura's breasts, kissing the puckered tips while she unbuttoned his shirt and ran her hands over his skin, now slick with sweat. As he sucked at one nipple, she bit his muscular shoulder.
In no time, they were naked together, lying on a pallet Hugh had fashioned of an old blanket he'd found. In the bridge's shadow, their hands were always moving, stroking, squeezing, scratching. Maura found Hugh's hard shaft, wrapped her hand around it, and held tightly. At almost the same moment, Hugh found the soaking, hot lips of her cunt and slowly pressed two fingers inside.
"I can't wait any longer to feel you inside me," Maura cried, pulling him on top of her and pressing his erection against the opening of her cunt.
With one hard thrust, he was inside. "You're so hot and slippery, so ready for me!" he exclaimed as he pounded into her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and answered his every thrust with one of her own. "Oh yes," she cried.
"Oh yes," he screamed. Withdrawing to the edge of her body, he waited a moment, then pushed his length into her. He felt her muscles clench around his shaft as they both climaxed.
They rested until Hugh could speak again. "That was wonderful," he said as they dressed. "Do you think your friend has enough apples by now?"
Maura gazed at him, then giggled. "You knew what I was doing?"
"Of course." Hugh laughed. "I don't make much money in tolls, but this job does have some very attractive fringe benefits."

Magic in the Flames

Stare into the fire in your bedroom at exactly midnight on the eve of your eighteenth birthday and the flames will reveal the dream man who will make you happy forever. This legend had been told for generations.
Well, Marla thought, gazing into the flames, I'm here. Now what? She thought about Colin, the man she was to marry the next day, on her eighteenth birthday. What a dolt. A dullard. Boring in the extreme. "Show me my dream man," she said to the flames. With a great sigh, she settled comfortably onto the hearth rug and stared and stared. Soon, she was fast asleep before the fire.
She was dreaming. Fingers caressed her face, sliding over her closed eyes and lips. Gentle strokes covered her cheeks, her ears, and her jaw. Purring, she shifted so the hand could have better access to her skin. Although the hands were calloused and rough, the caresses were soft and erotic.
In her dreams, the fingers stroked down her chest and began to unlace her nightgown. But was she truly dreaming? Marla opened her eyes, but the man was backlit by the dying flames. She could see only his shadowy outline.
"No," the man whispered. "Just feel." He brushed his fingertips over her eyes, closing the lids. He opened her robe, freeing her high, tight breasts. "Lovely," he whispered, his voice hoarse and low. He swirled his fingers over the velvety skin of her breasts, stroking toward their erect crests.
His mouth found one nipple and suckled, drawing the tight bud into his mouth as his tongue flicked the tip. "So delicious." He tongued the other breast, swirling his fingers over the one he had left slick with his saliva.
Marla needed more. The heat from the flames was nothing compared with the heat flowing through her belly. "Please," she moaned.
"Oh yes, my love," the hoarse voice said. Quickly, he removed her gown. His rough palms covered her thighs and his fingers kneaded her flesh, opening her wet center. The hands moved closer and closer to the core of her hunger, brushing against the springy hair. "So wet, hungry for me." He sighed.
With one index finger, he roamed the folds of her pussy, delving deeply into every crevice, sliding through the slippery wetness. He parted her inner lips, stroking the gate of her being. "Open for me so I can know you completely."
"But I never..." Marla moaned.
"I know, but it's right for us now. And the flames know that I'm the man to make you happy forever."
She hesitated. "Yes," she said, parting her thighs. "Oh yes." His fingers invaded her body. She couldn't keep her hips from thrusting, trying to take the fingers more deeply into her.
She needed something, but she wasn't sure what. When the fingers left her, she felt lonely and empty. She opened her eyes and watched the shadow man remove his clothes. Then he positioned himself over her and drove his hardness into her.
She felt brief pain, then wonderful fullness and joy. "Yes," Marla cried as the man thrust into her over and over, easing her pain and replacing it with an incredible heat. She grasped his firm buttocks and pulled him more tightly against her. "Oh yes," she cried again as together they reached their climax and collapsed.
Later, the man stood and threw a large log onto the fire. As the flames blazed, she saw his face. "Colin," she cried. "You?"
"Yes, love. I've wanted you like this for so long, and I couldn't wait for tomorrow."
"The legend said the flames would reveal my dream man. Is that you?"
"I hope so, for you have always been my dream woman." Later, he covered her with a quilt and left her dozing on the hearth rug. As the door closed, she smiled. The flames had been right. In only hours, she would marry her dream man.

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